WEEK 1 MAG

[dull boy]

Introduction

Firstly, everyone who participated as a judge this week. It's the most thankless task,
yet one that would cripple any league if it didn't get done.
So a huge thank you goes out to Sharp, Zuch, User, Adverse, Ajax and Hush.

Well, I'd call week 1 an arousing successex,
climaxing with Rusty and ZUCK's gooch zooch spilling out of their thread and into the chat.
With our writers unchained from the shackles of rules on feeding,
and armed with the encouragement to play back at their adversary,
we were supplied with heated exchanges and one of the more entertaining
weeks of battling I think I've read in a long time. Everyone adapted to the
rules fairly easily and aside from a couple of soon to be roasted defiant
leprechauns, participation was high. As I said last week, this concept might
take a few weeks to smooth out, and we have a couple of rule changes this
week in that regard, so be on the look out for those when threads are
posted.

BATTLE OF THE WEEK
PRESENTED BY: IBM WATSON

Rusty Guns Vs Zuch

Best Exchanges

1

Zuch
Word around town? Well, You’re a fag to start with
Sex life is Brooks Brothers, you service nothing but guys in that department
Got you on life support due to what my bullets tore through
Doctor will put the plug in your family’s hands, and trust me they’re gonna be pulling for you

Seth
Put 10 out the 9 in ya, disposed in a marsh for the gators to start chompin
They'll be pulling pieces out the brook, brother.. n this aint no rack shoppin
Stop talm bout the streets cuzzz, u aint end a life or got cred
The only time you ever pulled a plug your coke dealer got grabbed up by the feds

Zuch
Wonder how he got pinched, every cop knows this faggot will talk
Seth a Ouija board, they just push him around in a dark room til they get the answers they want

Seth
You not a G, you dying when red dots come out is a positive not a probably
Fuck the feds, when I catch ya in a dark room the beam will expose ya like analog photography

Zuch
LMAOOO you’ve never had a beam, why even step to the king?
Last time you broke out some red dots your girl bought you the wrong eczema cream

Seth
LOL concepts left back when Frac still won battles. You’re really the worst son
The last time you’d get away with a red dot/pimple bar you just woke up with your first one
And Jamie saw that shit and told you it sucked, would never hang above cribs
Last time your girl got the wrong cream you ended up raising another mans kid

Zuch came with a generic pull the plug play to open this battle. Nothing
special, but worded wonderfully, per usual. Seth immediately showed what
this league was about by turning Brooks Brother into his own creative
concept. Then he set the tone for the battle with executing another excellent
flip on Zuch's pull play and tying it to a personal. Not to be outdone; Zuch
came right back at him with one of the more clever concepts of the week, for
me, with the oujia board/pushing him around 'til they get the answers they
want concept. The downside here, for me, was that while it did
reference Seth's bar, it didn't feel like it directly rebuked what Seth said. I
think ultimately it's this difference in directness of attacks that gave Seth the
edge in the battle.


2

Zuch
Don’t talk to me about money, your guap’s diminished
Paying your bills always comes down to the wire, and whether or not it has copper in it
Jesus your bars are STRETCHED, voters can’t stand to be waiting
Long ass response without making your point, it’s like I’m battling Jamie

Seth
Gone. Bro I’m a STEM master, literal SCIENTIST. You make pennies shaking martinis
Talking about bills coming down to the wire was natural, moms gotta western union u for formula weekly
This back n forth will have you ready for sibling rivalry, it’ll be wild my friend
Cus last time you battled Jamie she revenge fucked the father of your child again

Consensus

Zuch was superior with his wording here, to no one's surprise, really. He's
built his reputation on his consistency and technical writing ability. He also
had a distinct edge in the few lines of the battle that felt like borderline generics.

"From a wording perspective, he was significantly better, both with
respect to being more concise and utilizing multi’s more"

The entire hang the jury sequence from Zuch was an excellent example of
how to flip concepts and turn them into great ones of your own.
Unfortunately, more judges felt that Seth did this on a more consistent basis.

"Zuch had a tendency to reference the previous line(s) only in his next
direct setup, and didn’t really lead the rebuttals into any flips or anything"

The personal aspect of Seth's attacks tipped the scales just enough to
give him a razor thin edge here. One judge commented on the possibility
that Zuch didn't know who Seth was with his first lines and it putting him in
an early hole.

Verdict

2 judges felt Zuch took it easily, while 3 had Seth with a very slight advantage.

3-2 Rusty wins



Blue Vs Inf

Best Exchanges

1

Inf
I get it. act like recruiting my talent was not vital
adding #me 2 the tag was such a challenge our team should've gone viral
why word bars w/ the ??? ask & u'll receive quick..
u want an Answer bad. lets keep it a 100 & I'll do ya worse than he did

Blue
let you tag in the blue corner, i tried to put an end to ur spurting
but i'll be honest, the biggest Thorne in my side was your general wording
im the reason you were even noticed son
your bars were cool tho...i'm pretty sure Saitama quoted one

Inf
marriage is spite when you quit givin dick to the wife
difference is as partners.. she'd NEVER admit taking a prick on the side
sound like trumps vote fraud, on sight-imma lay facts
bring UP One-Punch Man. my concepts done that to urs since u came back

Blue
you mention politics & Joe replacing Trump in the White..
as for some other current affairs, yaaaa i'm still fuckin ya wife
you should see what happens when ur girl hands me her pants
my hammy's get cramped...i'm between those walls longer then Danny LaPlante

2

Blue
we can flip & feed now, nobody will say we should stop it
to us this is a cool new idea, to you it's another day at the office
everyweek u spit metaphorical nonsense instead of a hard rap
shits a NeverEnding Story...i feel a tear comin' for Artax

Inf
ur a hypocrite. only giving work if you steal the shit
there's Office Space for u too...flipping a basement fast as milton did
that never-ending story bar proves u lack the smoke
irony: ^ it's "1 80s fantasy" - other's the turnaround u'll see after votes

Consensus

Blue's easy wording seemed to be the divider in this battle. The simplicity of
bars like 'delicious girl teasing' and 'I'm still fucking your wife' landed well in
this back and forth format. Inf had several excellent flips, '1 80s fantasy',
'one punch man' and 'prick on the side' but the consensus seemed to be that
they worded awkwardly and took away from the effectiveness, despite the
creativity in the concept. Blue matched him equally in the flipping
department, so there were no real weaknesses for Inf to capitalize on.

Verdict

2 judges had it close with Blue edging it and 3 thought he took it comfortably.

5-0 Blue wins

Sharp Vs evaD

Best Exchanges

Dave
Bringing up my history? Ur dead to me. Now I son haters
Cuz I came second with your mother and you appeared about 9 months later

Sharp
A cum/come flip? You're either retarded or brave
That shits as common in battles as 'and props to our runner up, Dave'

Consensus

Dave's 'know you are but what am I' line was his highlight of the battle, for
me. Sharp came out of the gate strong with the 'come in second' concept
and somehow managed to run with it throughout the entire, albeit short,
battle while still playing off of Dave. With so few responses the half nelson
couplet that was more of a generic played a major factor in who won and lost.

"Unique match and one I think may set the the tone for things I’m
looking for in a good rebuttal. Dave’s responses were overall more witty, but
Sharp gets the nod in speed of responses and flipping/using the opponents
lines against him."

Verdict

1 judge said Dave wins if this were a normal battle, but given the rebuttal
style that Sharp got his vote. 1 gave a slight edge to Dave, 2 judges thought
Sharp won comfortably and 1 couldn't call it either way.

3-1 Sharp wins

Coop Vs Kill Spree

Best Exchanges

1

Spree
The critique you doing & that’s the type of shit that you write?
B4 I see another bar you consider sharp or nuts I rather stab my dick with a knife

Coop
If he wants to stab his dick, it’s a toothpick we’d have to give em
No wonder you get no booty, you say “cooties” & you’re into masochism

2

Coop
You’re doing the most. Editing your post after mine is a DQ
The reality is, I don’t need technicality shit to beat you

Spree
How do you post shit & think “that’s dope”.. facts I am doin more
I edit one word... you edit a whole verse that wasn’t yours

Consensus

Underwhelming battle from these two. Spree was criticized for a lack of
incorporating rebuttals to Coop into his bars. Several judges cited that when
he did it was mostly in a, 'that bar sucks' type of way, instead of actually
creating concepts from Coop's lines. I thought Spree did barely enough in the
rebuttals department to overcome Coop's more direct lines.

Verdict

2 judges had Spree winning despite 'shooting himself in the foot repeatedly'.
1 had Coop, but called it a battle from 1999. 2 had Coop winning comfortably.

3-2 Coop wins

Des Vs Mac

Best Exchanges

Mac
this is an all-out war & once the Mac spits @Destroyer gonna screak
the fuck I want ur wording for, bitch ur most notable line's a widows peak
my shit? I'm the next gen you faggot, everybody agrees
Mac could fill gaps in ur wording longer than ur testament would be

Des
wife knows he’s geek, relationship already done son
that’s why ur widow’s peak will be the day she becomes one
cant wait to grab a ps5. hear the graphics and processor’s lit
trust that ur only ‘next gen’ because literally no one can get ur shit

Consensus

This was the shortest battle of the week with Mac for whatever reason
allowing Des to open and close the battle. Mac's best line was his widow's
peak slight toward Des, but Des' rebuttal to it and the next gen in the next
couplet were the lines of the battle, easily. Mac's whole CoD/counter strike
fell flat to most judges and given the small amount written it gave Des a
clear path to victory.

Verdict

5-0 Des wins

New Battlers this Week

SMaSH

THE NO SHOW GAWWWWWD as he proclaims himself to be. Didn't bother
responding to my well thought out questionnaire so I'll wait to see if he lives
up to his name this week before spending any more time here.

Adverse

Ad is a 26 year old resident of North Carolina but is originally from Denver.
He's been at this text shit since he was 12 years old where he started on
Rapnation. He mentioned to me that he's seeking some retribution for prior
losses against some heavier competition. I'm curious to see how he responds
to the format of this league. Have a feeling he'll do well.

Resin

Bets a lot. Is Asian. Doesn't respond to messages.

User

User is a 35 year old Chicago native currently residing in Virginia. He's been
at this about 20 years now and spent a majority of his time on
rapmusic.com, but is famously part of the UPN group who have stuck around
here at NCs. One of our many magnanimous competitors and someone who
should be a formidable opponent in this rebuttal format.

Flow

Flow is a 2x 1-2 champ and winner of the Pandemonium Cypher, so this
format should be right in his wheelhouse. Like most of us he broke in during
the early 2000s and is still around at his current age of 31. I'm personally
looking forward to what he brings to the league and am glad he signed on.

Fracture

I don't know shit about Fracture besides him questioning my ability to run
this league and getting into a back and forth with Rusty Gunned Seth in the
league chat thread. Guess who he'll be facing in his first week?

Week 1 Battlers

Seth aka Rusty Guns

How'd you feel you did in your battle this week? Any favorite lines or
exchanges between you and your opponent?

I liked saying his baby isn't his and didnt enjoy him not really flipping anything relevant a few times

You've been doing this for a while. What motivates you to keep doing it today?

The meme

Which do you think was the best battle of week 1 and why? Any lines
or exchanges that stuck out?

Blue and Inf was cool, similar styles.

Is there anyone in the league you hope you'll be facing in week 2?

Blue or Inf, however that works with who wins our battles and records. Blue
and I will go at least 100 bars each thats on gawd so it'll be fireworks when it
goes happen. Inf is dope for a UPN guy but they aren't built to last

Blue Bayou

How'd you feel you did in your battle this week? Any favorite lines or
exchanges between you and your opponent?

I thought our battle was decent, but Inf and I have had better ones imo.
Fave line from Inf was the office space milton reference. Love that movie so
I really liked that concept. On my end I thought my Italy/Boot flip to hit em
back was dope. And I love my Danny LaPlante fuck your girl bar eventho I
know maybe only a few ppl will get it

You've been doing this for a while. What motivates you to keep doing it today?

Yes a long time. I just enjoy writing still so I will continue to do so until I don't.

Which do you think was the best battle of week 1 and why? Any lines
or exchanges that stuck out?

I thought there was a couple pretty decent battles week 1 but none that
were consistently back and forth dope all the way thru. Some good jabs and
references for sure but thats my honest personal opinion.

Is there anyone in the league you hope you'll be facing in week 2?

Nope I've probably battled everyone in this league multiple times already
over the years so all good on that front. Whoever it is is cool.

Sharp

How'd you feel you did in your battle this week? Any favorite lines or
exchanges between you and your opponent?

I probably could've posted more often, but weekends aren't always great for
me and I didn't want to post after Dave should be in bed... Didn't know he'd
be up watching the super bowl though. He's an eagles fan. Good people

You've been doing this for a while. What motivates you to keep doing it today?

The culture

It's just fun sometimes. I feel like the overly competitive heads burn out,
then come back when they have an urge, but I just find battle rap fun.

Which do you think was the best battle of week 1 and why? Any lines
or exchanges that stuck out?

Probably Seth/zuch. I'm a big Seth fan when he's motivated and the
combination of format and opponent definitely got that out of him this week.

Is there anyone in the league you hope you'll be facing in week 2?

Honestly, no. I usually am all about beefing when there's an organic reason
to do it (keeps things interesting) - see Barcotic, Corleone, etc - but I don't
have any of that right now.

Dave/evaD

How'd you feel you did in your battle this week? Any favorite lines or
exchanges between you and your opponent?

It went good I thought. I’m enjoying the fresh approach and it feels more
casual in the cypher format. I thought Sharp came good though. He’s a good
writer and probably the best dude on the site so no qualms If he beats me.

You've been doing this for a while. What motivates you to keep doing it today?

Were in lockdown again so any distraction or outlet is good

Which do you think was the best battle of week 1 and why? Any lines
or exchanges that stuck out?

Haven’t read all of them but I liked the spice in zuch v Seth

Kill Spree

How'd you feel you did in your battle this week? Any favorite lines or
exchanges between you and your opponent?

-Well I was on one this week I don’t think I posted anything great but I
definitely believe coop posted just generic crap tbh.

You've been doing this for a while. What motivates you to keep doing it today?

Alcohol... but I wish a younger era would pick it up hate to see it die

Is there anyone in the league you hope you'll be facing in week 2?

No but I hope to not face Blue Bayou or Barcotic ever again.

WEEK 2 MATCH UPS AND PREDICTIONS
(by UserName)
thanks bud

(1-0) Seth Vs (0-0) Fracture
The Round One vs. The Formerly Brown One. This is like the 8th time they’ve
battled or something, but this gives a chance to test their grudge, and their
mettle in Dull’s new sweet schoolyard Yo Mama joke back and forth format. I
expect this either be the most epic battle of the year or to degrade into a
petty mind game of insults where they aren’t even rhyming anymore they’re
just putting on entire 10-slide PowerPoint Presentations about why the other one is a faggot.
Prediction – Double DQ

(0-1) Dave Vs (0-0) Resin
Many have heard of the Philistine tale of David vs. Goliath. This week we get
a modernized Warner Bros. Monster Universe spin on it, I give you… David
vs. Gojiro! Haha, Asian jokes. You get it, right? All jokes aside, this should be
extremely entertaining, Resin’s still a force and Dave has turned into a
Superstar lately. Possible Battle of the Week contender here.
Prediction – Moist panties everywhere

(0-0) User Vs (0-0) Adverse
User wrote all of these predictions so I believe his sexiness, unparalleled wit,
stellar wording and undeniable charm will blow Adverse out of the water
quicker than an adventurous mermaid. In all honesty, Adverse has been
extremely hit or miss for me in the past, and User is one of the most
humorous chums on the site. So Ad has his work cut out for him.
Prediction - User uses Ad's verses versus him

(0-1) Inf Vs (1-0) Coop
Inf, The Walking Alias, had a strong debut last week against Blue, and Coop
showed he knows what he’s doing enough to flourish in this new rebuttal
style league. This should be fun and on par with some of the other matches
this week. If Coop plays it like he did last week and Inf starts getting too
experimental with his concepts like he sometimes tends to do, this could go
either way. On paper, I have Inf in a possible close one.
Prediction – ThorneKyoTragicKInfAndEveryOtherNameThatDropsDecen tButYou’veNeverHeardOf

(1-0) Des Vs (0-1) Zuch
Nasal Spray vs. Wrinkle Cream. Whewwwwww boy, the matches between
these guys are always entertaining to say the least. It’ll be fun to watch
them butt heads and watch them work off each other, because honestly,
they’re cool with each other regardless of how hilariously hateful the disses
seem. Another match to watch for possible battle of the week.
Prediction – Nasal Spray

(0-0) Dull Vs (0-0) Smash
Guys, I’ve literally never seen Dull battle before. I have zero reliable input
here. I have only seen Smash battle twice before and both times he was
rushed or didn’t have a lot of time. This feels like I’m going in blind, so I’m
just going to shutup and make a prediction
Prediction – Dull Because He Runs The League

(1-0) Sharp Vs (0-1) Mac
Have you ever stared at a man’s picture for so long you start to envision how
a romantic scenario with them would be? Sometimes, and I know this isn’t
Mac’s fault, but sometimes I read his battles and get defensive like an over
protective lover. When it’s all over and he’s been ravaged or destroyed by the
Zuch’s and the Resin’s of the world, I just want to cradle him and disinfect
his wounds and nurse him back to full health. All in the hopes that one day
he asks how he can ever repay me, in a cute Venezuelan accent and a body
that won’t quit. He approaches me slowly and puts his hand on my cheek.
And I lean in close and… take my reward.
Prediction – PM Me For More Gay Venezuelan Nurse Erotica

(1-0) Blue Vs (0-0) Flow
Blue showed last week he’s an early contender here. He knows how to flip,
he knows how to feed, he does it in a way that looks effortless. I have
personally never read Flow unless he goes by another name I’m more
familiar with. I look forward to finding out more, hopefully the rebuttals are on point here.
Prediction – Oh, Canada

No Show Roastees

For their disrespectful insolence Defiant and Orc will be the subjects of our
cypher styled roast this week.

Defiant



Orc



please read the fucking Rules it will help you win the battle

I'm always open to answering questions, but please refer to this first if you're unsure of something.

Excessive chatter used as a lead in to your bars will not be tolerated and
could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

1. Opener

Each battle will begin with a coin chosen participant to open the battle. I will @ you when threads are posted each week
informing you that you're on the clock. Your post is the only bar(s) of the battle that don't need to directly or indirectly
reference a previous bar. Some may say it's a disadvantage to open, but the counter to that argument is that it's the only
opportunity to use a generic punch during the battle.

Each post has a 1 bar minimum, 2 bar max. You will have 24 hours from the time the thread is posted to submit your bar(s).
Failing to post within that time limit will result in a DQ and a loss on your record.

2. Rebuttal

Once the opener has been posted you will have 24 hours from the time it was posted to submit your bar(s).
If you fail to respond within that 24 hours it will result in a DQ and a loss on your record. Again, it is a 1 bar minimum and a 2 bar max.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH THE AMOUNT YOUR OPPONENT POSTED. Any line after the opening bar(s) must reference a previously posted bar(s) from the battle, be that directly or indirectly.

There is no restriction to how long you must wait to reply once your opponent has posted.
There is no limit to how many times you and your opponent can exchange bars. Battles will end every Sunday at midnight EST.

NEW RULE FOR WEEK 2; IF YOU OPENED THE BATTLE
YOU MAY NOT POST AFTER 10:59PM EST. THIS IS TO DISCOURAGE LAST
SECOND POSTING WITHOUT GIVING YOUR OPPONENT THE OPPORTUNITY
TO RESPOND AND EQUAL THE NUMBER OF POSTS IN A BATTLE

3. Judging and voting

Threads will be closed Sunday at midnight EST. A panel of 5 anonymous judges will send their votes directly to me and the winners will be announced Wednesday in the mag.

[Mac]

lmaooo this is legendary

propss

[Defiant]

Good shit

[evaD]

Great mag dull liking this so far

[fraze]

Props dull. Best new league mod since Zuch

[Sharp]

Good shit, the IBM video will haunt my dreams tonight

[Ouch]

wait a fucking second... was that youtube video of Blue Vs. INF?

[Blue Bayou]

Originally Posted by Ouch

wait a fucking second... was that youtube video of Blue Vs. INF?

Yes

[Ouch]

Please tell me no.

[Blue Bayou]

Originally Posted by Ouch

Please tell me no.

Yes.

[Ouch]

jesus christ Blue you've got balls to post that... man i'm not even talking shit...

that was horrible... you sound like bored nerd in class reading something off a sheet of sheet of paper, and the other guy was the same. Holy shit man put some uhhh emotion or louder voice into the stuff.

That shit sounded like if you just took a random text verse... read it slowly monotone off a piece of paper and where quiet because ya mom is in the next room or something. It sounds like i'm talking shit but i'm actually not... but damn put some fucking emphasis into it man.

[Ouch]

Same goes for the other guy.

[Blue Bayou]

Lmao you're such a hater.. my swag was undeniable in that rap. Voice is gully af

You could never flow with me....did you even listen to my delivery???? i'd body you in an audio battle

[Ouch]

lmao, you can't be serious... i'll re listen now i'll be honest at first I thought that was a joke youtube clip, that why I asked and i'm dead serious...

you know you sounded like some boring monotone dork reading a text battle slowly on a piece of paper, I know you know that's how you sound. Which is okay, I don't think you ever said you were a musician or a rapper neither am I but holy shit put some feeling into it man.

[Ouch]

I mean if you're gonna do it put some sort of feeling or flow or whatever into it... lucky you were facing a guy that was even more boring and can't write as well.

[Saint]

Originally Posted by Ouch

Same goes for the other guy.

yea i battled blue. lol ur not even good ouch I dont think u could outwrite that. never heard ur audio

[Adverse]

Lmaooo at that video

This was a cool mag thanks for your efforts you lovely person

[Ouch]

Originally Posted by INF

yea i battled blue. lol ur not even good ouch I dont think u could outwrite that. never heard ur audio

I'm better than you would ever be, period. And that shit was funny both you and blue.


And I did record 2 songs and I posted them on b-boys when I was like.. 16 and legitimately it was done a microphone that came with my friends computer.

I uploaded it to soundclick it was called 'bronx finest', which entailed me basically not rapping at all and just yelling neighborhoods names over a beat.

And then I battled Seszions on b-boys, "audio" and that was better, but mostly the same. A few months ago I looked really deeply into finding it as a joke.. and laugh at my little kid self but I couldn't find it.

But back in 2001 or whatever it was, I actually rapped with a beat.. you guys both sounded like you were reading it monotone off a piece of paper.

[Saint]

thanks for ur audio history at bboys nobody gives af about
fact is.. u couldn't beat either one of us in 2021 and everyone w a brain would agree

[fraze]

Originally Posted by dull boy

Originally Posted by Ouch

wait a fucking second... was that youtube video of Blue Vs. INF?

@Ouch are you talking about this video?

This is IBM Watson reading Zuch vs Seth. It's literally a computer that's why its monotone.

Where are you seeing Blue vs. INF?