LTL Week 2 Magazine- 9/15/08

[Saint]

http://www.itzarap.com/forums/ltl-ar...9-15-08-a.html

LTL Week 2 Magazine- 9/15/08

WEEK 2 MAGAZINE


I. INTRODUCTION

Imagine this, you just swallowed down an amazing chinese meal at the local buffet. After 2 hours in traffic, your tummy feels like it’s about to explode, and you rush to the bathroom. You sit your fat ass on the toilet seat and begin to pee. You let out a sigh of relief because you’re finally going to let it all out. Everythings all good b. The world’s looking up! You got that date with that fine ass bitch Shaniqua later tonight, and you bought to let this bomb ass shit out your ass. Oh yea, OH YES!!! But then, after all the huffing and puffing and pushing, all you hear is a lil squeak, but no shit. Shittt.... WHAT THE FUCK B??!? That’s exactly how last week felt for me. After an upsetting week 1, I anticipated that I could let out a sigh of relief because week 2 would be a lot better. But nope, no dice. Or no shit for this matter. And don’t hate, this was the fitting metaphor for such a shit week.

Well, in all honesty, last week was decent. I mean, I expected the first 4 weeks to be kinda rough. Mainly because we’d be weeding out the commited heads from the not-so commited heads. I think we had 9 battles up for voting, which is up from last weeks 6 or 7. Not bad, but still kinda disappointing. The double no-showers were cut, narrowing the field down to 43 from 57. Maybe that’ll help, maybe it won’t? We’ll find out.

Anyways, this mag will be a lot better than last week. Got a week review, top punches making it’s debut, predictions, and an interesting chat session with Rhymestein. Enjoy.

II. HEADS UP B!

Ok, the lack of voting last week was pretty pathetic. I was about to drop another sickening metaphor to describe it, but being the kind hearted sexy beast I am, I decided to spare y’all. But shit, some battles only got 2 or 3 votes. I mean, first week voting was pretty good for what it was. This was just downright awful b. DOES SP HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?!?! Shit, your excuse better be you were out registering to vote so you can vote Obama this year b. Fuck Alaskan hockey moms.

Another problem reared it’s ugly pimply faced butt this week as well. Just because your opponent no-shows does not mean you don’t have to vote. From now on, if you don’t vote on ATLEAST one battle each week, your win won’t be counted on your record. Also, let’s say. Your opponent shows up late, but you don’t grant him an extention. You don’t vote on any battles. He votes on all 4. Guess what? You lose. I don’t care how unfair it might seem, fact is, you better fucking vote if you wanna be successful in this league.

Plus, I still don’t see how people keep ignoring the fact of easy points. Voting on the 4 battles gets you one extra point. I see some 0-2 dudes creeping ahead of 1-1 dudes just because they’ve voted both weeks. That type of stuff will be critical come play-off time. You don’t wanna be 9-7 and have someone who’s 5-11 beat you out for a play-off spot because he voted more than you. So vote or die... literally. If you don’t vote, don’t be suprised when one night you come out of the shower and you see me standing there naked in a Jason mask glistening 6 pack, 12 inch cock, and all, ready to shove a fucking machette into you. Just fucking vote.

III. Week In Review

Word, the week in review for y’all. Props to Eddie for the help.

BATTLE OF THE WEEK
-Rhymestein v.s. Gaf

Originally Posted by Rhymestein

Aiyyo
This wannabe fibs like one day he's gonna be big
When he's so Palin the face, he could pass himself off as one of her kids.
And honestly bitch, everyone around here HATES your shit
But if I told you to Get Smart...
...your stupid ass'd just download Steve Carrell's latest flick.
So dry those tears princess, we dont care for ya gay ways
..you're a mixed up Fag. & here that serves as both a personal AND a nameplay!
On the hands of Goro ya couldnt count the losses this faG's caught
But we should call you Thumb Wrestling... Seeing as you're such a Bad Sport.
Still I slapped skins with your mother, beat her nasty shit dry
And i dont usually make mistakes... but I've made a few Gaffe's in my time.
Now listen kid, 'cause im back to owning ya..
Your moms vaginal Walls have more cobwebs than the basements in Arachnophobia.
& with that whiney nasal sound, you'll NEVER perform son
..you got a telephone voice that i'm just itching to cut the cords on..
ur girls no apple bottom. but i AM wonderin' how she get in them jeans
See my girl has a body like a coke bottle..
...yours is more the size of the goddamn vending machines!

Q16

Originally Posted by Gaf

Yo…Look

All ya hope is a gimmick- since the roast is closed, finished
Just know YOU wont win here…even if you post well over the limit
& shiiit fuck an alias…I’ll go at da dude who invented you child
C’mon RhymESteIN,
Psh…like we don’t know who’s at da center of ya style
& Im endin you now n’ palmin the fetti- but I gotta be gentle
Cuz the only time a Steins ever won money…was Ben on Comedy Central
plus this fag’s battin zero with da ladies, so pussy for dude is extra nil
& I’ll be laughin at that whore ratio too…without watchin SNL
ur stressed as hell- cuz usually we’re tryna purge the earth of crime
shit’s ironic too…since heads’ll love it when I murder this Rhyme
While im disturbin ya climb with the most favored nimble pen
& u’ll neva make a racket on the net…even if u won 3 majors n’ Wimbledon
edited in a verse too- keep rehearsin ya threats til u numb holmes
Gaf'll drop the best personal
...while he has tah drop his personal best to even come close
G’head uppa verse, it’ll be a laughable effort that screams “RHY SUCKS”
Only to realize ur just Good Humor Man… like those old ice cream trucks

done
In the end, Rhymestein held on for the victory.
VERSE OF THE WEEK
-Lkjhgfdsa

Originally Posted by Lkjhgfdsa v.s. L.I.
its a collision course against me, so whats this wacks intent?
i mean shit.... this LIability wouldnt even cover minor accidents.
you must be a blessin in disguise, coz ya skills departed n bail.
see, i got an "I" for talent.... & it certainly dont start with an "L".
fagot, your an embarrassment to text.... fuck this bitter gay foe.
such a dis-grace, gaylord focker'll slap you around the dinner table.
quit actin like ya 1st rd verse wasnt played, this hoax pretends.
L.I wouldnt have quotables.... IF caeon decides to post for him.
.... although callin that verse below average just look wrong.
it wasnt half ass - its a full moon neil armstrong wont set foot on.
now hes lookin for a momentum shift, still i'll have this bum daze g.
watch'em as he try'n get a leg up on me.... & leave like tom brady.
your just a punchin bag, better recognize who the hell you dissin!
unlike the girl from The Ring, this bitch wont be in 'well' condition.
this is suicide for YOU, i'll control the tempo as i run with hits,
while this bitch'll only control the tempel.... with a gun to HIS!!!!

-16-
ROAST WINNER
-Rhymestein came through again. Only three people dropped. Nick, Rhyme, and Frank. All three dropped hot verses. But after much deliberation it was decided that Rhyme edged it out again for the second week in a row and earned himself an additional 3 pts.

:
Originally Posted by Rhymestein
Bwahahahaha!

LMAO @ Maddie Briann. thats a fucked up name to call a kid
..the doctors shoulda stuck a Spear in ya stomach the day after Casey Aldridge did..
& you best of relished your chance to hit him;
cause to be honest girl... ive seen bigger Lady Lumps on breast cancer victims.
lets see you playing mom WITHOUT support.
& how you handle a child in diapers, when ya stupid ass is barely outta yours!
See that pics only appeasing to pedophiles;
& you and Britney some spoilt Bratz that MGA shoulda stashed in their Reject pile.
Now you claimin' the kid was planned, but that statement is crazy
Maybe you didnt fall pregnant...
...but GODDAMN i wish you'd had for the sake of that baby.
it dont take much to make this slut go south;
you're such a Bad Mother i expected Shaft to interrupt with "Shut yo' mouth!"
now that was dirtier than this rednecks skin pores;
that look on ur face suggests u missed the appointment ya eyebrows were pencilled in for.
and aint NOONE roast this bitch better!
..since she gave birth her vaginal walls have lines more stretched than Nick Fletchers!
& i aint sayin' this 'cause the kid is bias;
..but Casey was cheatin' even while you were closer to Dilated than Iriscience..
i put it down to the fact you got him misled.,
see he wanted some Southern Comfort, only now he wishes he'd just drank a bottle instead
and here's the only reason he chose you ahead of the rest
not only did you offer it to him on a plate... you already had a couple of fried eggs on your chest!
best call your PA and tell 'em to bring help
..your hairs so Tied Up, im surprised you ever find time to do anything else..
but your one chick i would'nt bone sober
fuck a Windswept look, ya hair looks like Hurricane Ike treated you to a comb-over
& you're no role model, so save it kid
cause thats a sack of shit you could prolly use some practice in changing, biiiiiiiiiiiitch!

28.

TOP PUNCHES

In no particular order

lmoa. u don't stand a chance bitch, ur gonna get scarred bad
after this battle, I'll have two and owe like I started a bar tab

-Vivify v.s. Sonny Dimebags


Ima fuckin murder this faggot, my gat'll rock a g,
I'll be puttin Kam under a blanket like old school photography.

-KempoMRK v.s. Kami Tsunami


plus this fag’s battin zero with da ladies, so pussy for dude is extra nil
& I’ll be laughin at that whore ratio too…without watchin SNL

-Gaf v.s. Rhymestein


My shits too strong - 'slike metal vs. puddy, you jerk..
I'll walk thru a Finish' line wit so much ease - Ussaine Bolt'll study my verse..

-Eddie... v.s. Finish Him!


.... although callin that verse below average just look wrong.
it wasnt half ass - its a full moon neil armstrong wont set foot on.

-*Hits head on keyboard* v.s. L.I.


testin ya limits..he'll need a drinkin lesson to finish
I'm killin ya Captain,.. n' we'll see ya body in the Morgan less than a minute

-Lay Fear v.s. LPMNDCTE


u chokin more? last week was a rough dream
burnt out after one bar, like the over 40 club scene

-Rex Stout v.s. Jim Luther Davis


Seeing people being defiant & rebellious isn't strange
After seeing how wack Bred is.. who wouldn't wanna go against the grain?

-Oneduh v.s. Thoro'Bred


just hang it up. You’re old as fuck.. man why ya still here?
Before you plan on using your skill as a crutch.. just get a wheel chair

-Mercules v.s. Namix

IV. PREDICTIONS

Here, I will preview the top 10 battles, plus any other battles that look to be good.

Rhymestein (2-0) v.s. 2. KempoMRK (2-0)
-This will be an interesting match up. Rhyme’s been tearing it up lately, and Kempo has been coming strong too the first two weeks. Kempo will make it interesting and keep it close, but I got Rhyme taking this in the end. Should be a good match.

Prediction: Rhymestein
Nick Fletcher (2-0) v.s. 4. Vivify (2-0)
-Nick’s been picking up steam, dropping two hot verses in the first two weeks of the roast. His verse matches haven’t been his best, but he really hasn’t faced an opponent to push him too much. Vivify might be that guy. Dude’s dropped good as well. This will be a really close battle. It could go either way, but since I’ve seen more of Nick’s drops I’m kind of leaning towards Nick in a close one.

Prediction: Nick Fletcher
Lkjhgfdsa (2-0) v.s. 6. Oxford Blues (2-0)
-Ahh, Mr. Fucked up name himself. Besides the horrible annoying name, *head bang on the keyboard* has been dropping pretty hot. He’s been bringing it, and now closer to the top of the standings I only expect him to come even harder. Oxford Blues has been dropping some good stuff too. However, I think he might meet his match here with LK.

Prediction: *head bang on the keyboard*
Rex Stout (2-0) v.s. 8. Sean Gunner (1-0-1)
-Rex has had two no-show wins I believe? He’s dropped nice verses on both of them. Sean’s had a rougher road, and he’s shown he won’t go down without a fight. But I think Rex might be too much for him in the end. I got Rex winning this.

Prediction: Rex Stout
Eddie... (2-0) v.s. 10. Gaf (1-1)
-Gaf is coming off a tough match with Rhymestien. Eddies had two easy wins to get here. Both can drop nice. I don’t know where Gaf’s head will be after the loss, so I think Eddie might sneak out a victory in this.

Prediction: Eddie...
Other Potential Hot Battles

JTR (2-0) v.s. 12. Mercules (2-0)
-Mercules has been known around to be a beast when he drops his best. JTR also can hold his own with the best. However, he has a tendency to never vote. Mercules so far has been the same. I believe this will be very close, but it will come down to who votes on the most battles. I believe Merc will edge it out by a vote or two in the end though.

Prediction: Mercules
Namix (1-1) v.s. 34. Oneduh (1-1)
-It’s suprising to see these two match up at such a low ranking. But that’s what happens when you no-show. Both have a high tendency to end up not showing, so who knows who will show. Namix stated he might be leaving league, so chances of him dropping are low. However, if both dropped it would be a hot showing. But I doubt Namix will. So Oneduh got it.

Prediction: Oneduh

V. RHYMESTEIN INTERVIEW

So this week I had a chance to have an e-sit down with the man who’s currently dominating the competition in the LTL. A much better interview than Oneduh. The LTL, text, hip-hop, and unfortunately... Tony Yayo, were all discussed. Check it out.

SPuL: Yo what up man?

Rhymestein: Sup SpuL. Just recovering from a hangover at the weekend. Shouts to all the alchies of the board. (Metts, were looking at you!)

SPuL: LOL word true shit. But yea, so two weeks through in the LTL. What are your thoughts about how the first two weeks have gone?

Rhymestein: I'd like to see more members. Obviously. More competition forces us to step it up. Actually fuck that, new members STAY AWAY! You’re making this easier for me that way. You don’t want the money, I’ll take it. Your choice. But overall, from the guys that wanna be in it and take part, there’s a good vibe. Threads are up on time. Voting is as sporadic as anywhere you go these days. There’s a lotta different heads from diff. boards. So your style may need some adjusting to fit with the expectations. But that’s healthy. I like it... I just wish more people would show the fuck up.

SPuL: LOL word, I knew you'd say that. A lot of the heads showing up see it same way. I might just end up moving new sign up deadline to week 8 if it gets too low. But yea, out of the heads who have been showing up. Who do you think has the potential to make some serious runs?


Rhymestien: There are so many I dont know who could surprise people. I know who Pastor is, have done from the jump, and he hasnt had a chance to show himself yet but he could do. Easily. Then you have the likes of Kempo.. Mercules.. Deon.. Metts.. all the usual suspects. Nick and Pav even. I actually like Gaf also, I thought he was pretty good both weeks. I'll be watching him as the weeks progress.

SPuL: Word true true. What about Oneduh? We don't want him signing out this week b

Rhymestein: Oh, I thought he had already dipped. Guess he decided against it. Oneduh is seriously sick with it... BUT what I will say is, this is just as much about the points as it is you being able to bring it. And I happen to know he doesnt plan on racking those points up... which is why I dont think he will win here. Nothing against his skill, more the fact people have wisened up to the fact this is a points game and are ready for the longhaul. I forgot Vivify too. Dude is nice with it.

SPuL: Word true, but remember that's only season champ. Once you're in the play-offs, points don't mean shit. But anyways, moving onto you b. No homo. We all know its obvious you're an alias, I won't say who, but how long have you been texting and what made you join the LTL? Besides the obvious money, if anything else did.

Rhymestein: Nah... it was the money. Lol. I seriously dont battle too often, I hadnt been involved in the scene for a few months and I happened to stumble across a thread advertising all the money on offer. Some people know who I am already, I've been doing this for too long. Lol. On some class of '99 shit. But yeah, I was a little rusty coming back into it after a stint away... I had to knock some of that off first which the Roast was good for. i enjoyed that. I guess the chance to prove I can still beat a few heads made me join... that and a combination of the dough on offer.

SPuL: nice nice. So you win the $1,000. What are you doing with it? Donating it to the lil homeless African kids?

Rhymestein: If Pastor still needs it for child support, then who am I to deprive a fellow text brother? Nah, but seriously... I'd just go on the most epic drinking binge you've seen this year. Frank, if you're reading, get your wino ass over here for that one!

SPuL: LOL damn, such a waste of 1,000 g's. *prays you don't win* lol nah, but so besides texting, you ever fuck with audio or any form of rap outside of the net? I know you battle, I've seen the youtube videos lol

Rhymestein: Ahahahahaha! The guy I work with is an emcee / producer so we record all the time mid-week. He gave me the Rhymestein tag and it kinda stuck. Before he met me he was just into Eminem and w/e but now he'll battle a lot more. I attend the monthly Jumpoff events here, but before they let you get on stage they request that you have youtube or myspace with footage of you on there before they let you up. But yeah, the audios are in production, quite a few people have heard me already too. Its just getting the name out there.

SPuL: Word good shit. If you win that 1 g, you better use that to ship me a copy b. But you mentioned Eminem. You a fan of the dude? You looking forward to his new album?

Rhymestein: I was* a fan of Em. Of course I was, who wasn't circa 2002!? But he hasn't put anything out worthy of his early stuff in something like 4 years. Lol. Seriously... I'm not looking forward to the new album at all. I think thats the best way to look at it, then if its any good - its a plus. But if it flops, its no real big dissappointment. FUCK CONVERSE!! GOTTI FOR BAN!!

SPuL: Yea, true. Em= GOAT to me, so fuck yea, he could rap about taking a shit, and I’d cop it. But yea, a lot of big names who came out with hot early albums been fading in their past endeavors. Hip-hop in general’s been said to be fading out as well, with everyone, their mother, and their dead grandmother claiming hip-hop is dead. What’s your take on this?

Rhymestein: I dont think hiphop, as a culture, will ever die. It will just go back to its underground roots, but as long as there are people still interested in it, still living it, still making music or whatever it is you guys do - Hiphop will never die. It isnt just a genre of music, and thats where people get it misunderstood. I do agree with the music slowly dying though... See, with all the illegal downloads, the record comapnies are tightening their purse strings. They arent willing to invest in new projects or new artists - They want to keep hold of those with a proven history of selling. Only these same artists cant keep on re-covering the same old ground they did on their first albums, and a lot of them cant match the standards of their biggest sellers time and time again. But at the same time... The record companies arent bringing in any fresh, young talent because theyre afraid to take the risk on someone not shifting a guaranteed X ammount of CD's. But that isnt just hiphop, that is in all genres of music now. Right across the board. Its bigger than hiphop... hip...hop...hip..hop...

SPuL: Real talk right there. So who gets mad plays on Rhymestein's mp3 player? Any current rappers out there who you feeling?

Rhymestein: Hiphop wise I like Lil Wayne, Jay-Z, Talib