12-04-2017, 09:52 PM | #1 |
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Week II: Diablo vs Pent up[CLOSED]
Season 8 Verses are due FRIDAY at 11:59 Voting ends SUNDAY at 11:59 Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words Voting on 3 battles is required. Topic: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=126253 @Diablo vs @Pent uP Goodluck! Last edited by Inno; 12-12-2017 at 07:48 PM. |
12-06-2017, 10:58 AM | #2 |
Badgerdick
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lmao pents pedantic about his name having a second upper cased P at the end
he'll prob no show because of it |
12-08-2017, 11:16 PM | #3 | |
Robin Williams of Fallen Victims
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Ill be writing tonight into the wee hours. Sorry for not coming in earlier
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12-09-2017, 05:05 AM | #4 | |
Robin Williams of Fallen Victims
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I Can't Win The hardest part of walking uphill? Moving like the wind. That hardest part of walking down? losing sight of them. Knew it wise to spend feudal time to unwind content, but still felt torn like Aliens grew inside my skin. Who am I to them? Who am I to me? Behooving likening and soothing rivalry. Moving like the trees - swaying in the ambience while pieces fall without fading in the grass and twigs. Everlasting grasp of facts scaling down the happiness in a realm where it felt playing favorites has to fit. Older now, sober now, and middle of the pack. Hindered by my past or a figment of the facts. Sticking to the back while my constituents relax, I play my part and frivolously laugh. No disdain, though refrained from an alpha position insecurities won't lend to my gravitas missin'. As it was written: too young to take care of my parents, but too damn old for all of the fables and presents. Gatherings are nice because families unite. Autumn-esque backdrops reflect magic afterlife moments golden to those with better halves who vanished like death stands there red-handed laughing, yet, contrite. It has to happen, right? The passing of the torch? Passively we're forced to act as the resource of happiness. Until ourselves are famished by divorce or a tragedy of sorts and can no longer lend our masculine support. Cash is the retort - To gain or to spend? The shame in the trend is what heinously lends to the dividing factor of what makes us content. The gifter? The giftee? The buyer - unnamed in events. It doesnt start from the green, or start monetary - The autumn leaf doesnt fall far from the tree. Triumphant bloodlines remain red at the top The golden years fell to their spot - expelled and then washed. Throughout the years mud muddles and melds all the lost to remind the survivors we're not fresh from a start. - Some won't compost, some stretch what they've got, but when we pool together ....it resembles a plot.
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12-09-2017, 02:18 PM | #5 |
Badgerdick
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"The World Built In Seven Days"
"Let's build us an ant farm!" I called with delight as we pillaged the back yard for all we could find. Sourcing the right materials for the housing required we ensured that it's dimensions were down to a science! We accounted for sizing before the panels were made having found a supply of tempered glass for the case. They had to be laid so each joint was adjacent and tactfully placed to avoid any breakage. I poised the encasement near the gleam of a candle and pointed it facing a south-easterly angle. Here they had ample warmth and light on display and I could peer from the shadows any time of the day! With the design taking shape, its outer-structure was glued, we wiped at the fascia so all particles of dust were removed. We trusted its durability and filled the bottom with sand before we put in the roof to secure our colony's ants! Once we'd gone and attached this over their home we fitted the top with a hatch we could open and close. This gave us total control over their food supply we poked in a hole big enough to fit a tube inside. We used this pipe both to get air in for breathing and to provide the moisture our formicarium needed. We took care to complete it over the span of a week before sharing our 'Eden' with our Adam and Eve. Its inhabitants seemed to thrive as they used their leg strength for channeling secret chambers to store food and nest eggs. Soon an extensive network of tunnels arrived as the community went and doubled in size! The numbers were rising in time as it grew 'til the hub was a hive of activity with societal rule. The ants inside it assumed their individual roles and I smiled as I knew they'd continue to grow. The kingdom evolved, coming full-circle to see hatchlings become soldiers, workers or queens. One ant turned to his teammate, rose it's pincers and asked "We've the world at our feet, but where d'you think it began?" The civilian clacked his mandible and breathed with a sigh "Some think it was planned by a great entity in the sky," Seeming surprised, his young antenna sprang into action "Even the wisest ants believe it was a Big Bang that just happened!" The elder gacked up as laughter came from his throat "And you imagine all of this was made on its own?!" The young labourer drone began to feel like an idiot by surveying their home, it sounded completely ridiculous. He'd seen the meticulous hours of physical skill even been in the thick of it to assist in the build. So did their habilitation result from a big bang defying logic or was their existence a children's on-going science project? |
12-12-2017, 09:16 AM | #6 | ||||||||
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12-12-2017, 01:36 PM | #7 | |
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12-12-2017, 07:26 PM | #8 |
The Clown Prince
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Pent uP,
So far Ive only read that opening verse but its been a very easy read. the flow alongside those multis is really a winning combination.. that *who am I to them* switch up was pretty dope as well. so smooth. I could pick any pair of lines out of this and find something I enjoy about it. my only gripe is the *grass & twigs* part because it felt weird on my tongue. otherwise after going back to finish the verse off it was a cool piece as a whole. upon reflection its a great idea for the piece as it all unravels. Nice to see you competing Diablo, This was pretty cool, it reminded me of the piece you did about a spider in the bathroom? something like that anyway, the flow & the pace of the piece was quite amazing the fact that you are able to create something out of something small is pretty impressive. you ran with this idea in no time and thats what amazes me sometimes but it does come together too quick. because you started out as the boy and then you change your perspective towards the ants I dont know if this is a ploy for me to pretend that I am now the kid & as a kid Im making them think they are thinking this or not. regardless this was a very impressive verse from start to finish. nice work. v/After some consideration I can see the highs & lows from both verses. the clashing of both the styles is very present within each opponent as well. one relying on quick wit & motivation while the other focuses on flair & poetics the thing that irks me sometimes is how to keep the piece going with each rhyme I encountered that feeling within both verses & found myself conflicted with voting like do I choose this one because of the way it was crafted or do I choose the other based on how the flow took me elsewhere? after thinking of each verse as a whole though I feel one took it based off of tenacity which I feel Pent came more straightforward with while taking in the surroundings I enjoyed the other verse but found myself twisted up in the execution. the bouncing from perspective to perspective approach is hard to grasp at times. causing me to have a sour taste in my mouth because it is a dope piece. but the more polished captivated me & left me feeling somewhat thoughtful... v/Pent
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