CONTENDERS: MMLP (4-2) vs Johnny 6 feet (3-1) JOHNNY WINS

[Inno]

GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE

@MMLP @Johnny 6 feet


Max line: 50

Min: 10

Check in: 48 hours after thread post

DUE DATE: JUNE 24TH @ 11:59PM EST


Topic:

"“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” ― Socrates

GOOD LUCK

[Johnny 6 feet]

Czech Republic

[MMLP]

Cech

[Johnny 6 feet]

The Riddle


The Challenge was proclaimed throughout the Kingdom of Old
A contest! Whose sole winner would be swimming in gold
An ancient puzzle to befuddle all the sharpest of minds
And cut themselves in their confusion at the starkest of lines
A mystery made to furrow brows, set restless thumbs to fiddle
Seeking the answer to the so-called 'impossible riddle'

'What is darker than darkness but lighter than light?
Has blood, but is heartless, and see's without sight?
Has more weight than mountains but can rise on the air?
More evil than the worse sin but blessed as heartfelt prayer?
What tempts more souls than Lucifer in his Satanic job?
Lower than the lowest beggar, yet greater than God?'

Many contestants sought an audience to answer the Regent
Thirsty for sweet victory but tasted bitter; defeated
I tied myself knots trying to bend my thoughts to solve it
Championed patience over eagerness in this lonesome walk to profit
No local sages Sherlocked a clue and my library was exhausted
I put a knapsack on my back full of hope I be rewarded

Got every tutor at my ear, pounded sand from coast to coast
Learned the scriptures of the Wisemen til I could quote by wrote
Meditated on mountain tops, memorised every crack and fissure
Spent a year in silence to better know the meaning of a whisper
Took honest work to clear my busy head of materialism
Learned the zen of cooks and cleaners to supplement my tuition
Chopped firewood until blisters made constellations on my palms
Until my sweat grew the crops and pain danced up my arms
Fasted for days, emptied my stomach so I could empty my mind
Wore out books on philosophy til pages fell off the spine
10 years fell off the calendar; grey spiderwebbed my hair
And the answer was still a fairy tale trapped in it's lair
Travel magic made my coin disappear and rags of my clothes
A full belly? A wistful memory I dragged on the road
Returned home a broken man, I couldn't face up to the bet
To search for wisdom for years and find I'd never taken a step

"What's wrong mister?"

A kid's voice, a boy no older than eight
Approached my porch as I sat; concern written over his face
Before I knew it I'd relayed this whole sorry story
And then sat thunderstruck as the rug rat solved it for me
What was the splinter in my mind wheedled by this little sod?
The child giggled and said;

'But Mister, NOTHING'S greater than God!'

'I know! But...'

Then it hit me like a bucket of ice
The answer so obvious but it had fucked up my life
'Nothing!' I let out a burst of laughter edged with my pain
Felt the lift of my fatigue, weights of lead in my brain
I'd become the answer! How's that for poetic justice?
Stood at every summit just for a philosophical 'Fuck this!'

I delivered the answer the same day, but couldn't take any credit
It was fool's gold for this jester, and pride would choke me if I let it
And now I've scraped my life together the one thing I learned was this;
Wisdom is a grand thing..

...but ignorance is bliss

[MMLP]

Just a tiny speck floating around, poisoned by the system
with no point to my existence
voiceless, I am stricken
Atmospheres tense, without knowing this voyage is my mission
disjointed, I was injured with a distorted memory
but the ones I grew up with were balls of energy
hearing the calls of destiny
some of us bonded and formed a chemistry
in scorching density where no one responds
stuck in a bubble but hope wasn’t gone
my focus was off
something was brewing but I didn’t know what it was
Mostly alone in the dark as fractions were splitting
practically swimming
but we stuck together acting on instinct
Were gonna go out with a bang no matter what’s brimming
as natural intuition had taken over
a truly smouldering environment in a strange enclosure
a supernova, ageing slower
but in blistering conditions, I somehow gained composure
to radiate solar energy but it wasn’t plain to see
weirdly I gained belief
more and more natural tendencies came to me
understanding the erratic process to get from A to B
painstakingly began mutilating around the unknown
no recollection survived, no sounds to decode
No essence of time, no grounds to behold
reaching boiling point! I was about to explode
abound in a globe, preserved in orbs that served a cause
but then something tweaked.. and I heard a force
more bits joined in and disturbed the storm
and all of sudden, Bang! Our universe was born!

[Universe]

Johnny 6 Feet:

Amazing verse here my man. Flow was on point. You literally remind me of an up and coming and hungry Scar - dangerous and downright scary for anyone to face right now. This was storytelling at its finest and most sophisticated - masterful even, at times. I found myself reading this and thinking, "yeah... this is his best verse yet in the GWL", and that thought held throughout the entire piece and never went away. Even the couple hiccups you had were only hiccups in comparison to what you already wrote, which was basically flawless, in my eyes.

Highlights:


- Not going to quote all of it, but the entire riddle section was captivating.

"Meditated on mountain tops, memorised every crack and fissure
Spent a year in silence to better know the meaning of a whisper"

- Deep.

"Returned home a broken man, I couldn't face up to the bet
To search for wisdom for years and find I'd never taken a step"

"I'd become the answer! How's that for poetic justice?
Stood at every summit just for a philosophical*'Fuck this!'"

- Ending was great too. Wrapped it up nicely around the topic.

Brilliant work.


MMLP:

Well for a "quick keystyle" this was certainly fucking impressive lol. Damn. I really enjoyed this man, in every way. Always good to see my origin story told in such a fine manner lol. Unlike your other pieces though, I did guess what you were going to end with almost right away. Although it wasn't your trademark "twist", it actually was more consistent and therefore overall more enjoyable to read from beginning to end. Twists out of left field are great, but there's something to be said for a slow burn too... which you nailed here. Completely.

Highlights:

"Just a tiny speck floating around, poisoned by the system
with no point to my existence
voiceless, I am stricken"

- Great start

"disjointed, I was injured with a distorted memory
but the ones I grew up with were balls of energy
hearing the calls of destiny
some of us bonded and formed a chemistry"

- Great double entendres.

"Mostly alone in the dark as fractions were splitting
practically swimming
but we stuck together acting on instinct"

"more and more natural tendencies came to me
understanding the erratic process to get from A to B"

Phenomenal battle you two. Super close. I think if MMLP went the full 50 with this and fleshed it out it would've been unbeatable. But as it stands, it's pretty much neck-n'-neck... Guess it's the old cliched "personal preference" vote again.
Why do we feel the need to say that? Of course it's personal preference lol... Anyway...

Really it's like choosing between a Porsche and a Lambo though... can't really go wrong. This will be close in the end... But for me...

Vote - Johnny 6 Feet

Amazing stuff here guys. Could be Battle of the Year nominated next week.

[symetrik]

Johnny - great flow most of the way through, but it's rote xD all good. great connection to topic, great story - I love riddles so was hype to see this.

also for this line:
Many contestants sought an audience to answer the Regent
Thirsty for sweet victory but tasted bitter; defeated

I stopped reading for like 30 seconds just to nod at that rhyming word choice.

MMLP - good flow, tiny bit disjointed for me in a few places, but great build up of suspense to the inevitable. didn't hit the topic for me. if I'm not mistaken was a no-show? if not it felt like it, but if so, thanks for showing! :D

mvgt - Johnny

[Artifice]

dope reads here gents...

Johnny:

The riddle aspect was really well-executed. The story moved at a good pace and never felt rushed or drawn out. Solid descriptive language helped build the scene.

The whole riddle section in italics was smooth as fuck, real easy read and as the focal point of the story, served its purpose well.

These two parts stood out to me:

I tied myself IN knots trying to bend my thoughts to solve it
Championed patience over eagerness in this lonesome walk to profit

Meditated on mountain tops, memorised every crack and fissure
Spent a year in silence to better know the meaning of a whisper

you missed the IN in the first couplet, but otherwise both couplets hit me. The first was just a cool expression of the struggle, the second couplet (in particular the second line of the couplet) was fire imo... on some straight zen buddhism type-ish.

The way you tied it all together was cool too, the child having the answer that was so obvious we all miss it. "And a little child shall lead them..." Solid work here.


MMLP:

Damn, for just throwing something together so you didn't no-show (props for that btw) this was dope. You tackled one of my favourite subjects, and you did it in a cool way. The personification of the creation of the universe allows for some interesting turns of phrase and language, and you executed that here. I think if you had more time to flush out the piece it would've been super-close.

Mostly alone in the dark as fractions were splitting
practically swimming
but we stuck together acting on instinct
Were gonna go out with a bang no matter what’s brimming
as natural intuition had taken over
a truly smouldering environment in a strange enclosure
a supernova, ageing slower
but in blistering conditions, I somehow gained composure

that was my favourite section, though I enjoyed the whole piece.

Props to both, was a great contender's match even though MMLP had to rush to get something up, enjoyed the reads...

v/ Johnny

[Scar]

j6f, "quote by wrote" lul,,what?? that aside, this was fuckin awesome. cleverly played. I like when a story can kind of keep me hanging without being too transparent. This did the trick. I was hanging on to the very end. the answer was more than satisfying. "Nothing" seems to take on two terms. "nothing" as in nothing is greater than god, in the contrary, i could have interpret it as "nothing" as in god is less than "nothing". i'm sure the latter was not part of the equation when crafting this verse but it was cool how my mind came up with its own philosophical" musing huh? lul. awesome verse and maybe my fav of the week.

props to mmlp for showing. Man i really envy your rhyme schemes and flow man. Its so smooth you know? This was actually a really cool verse. The lead up to the conclusion was dope. it was like a grand orchestra that starts all calm and quiet. maybe a string or two then it gets increasingly intense. building until the final violent crescendo. It was a very dope journey and does not seem like a last minute effort. Its scary to even think what a serious MMLP is capable of.

v/ johnny. his verse would have been difficult for anyone to beat to be honest. mmlp came with a very clean and concise verse and would have given many people a run for their money but he was just unlucky enough to go against a very high concept verse.

[Adverse]

Johnny - This was a grandiose tale that kind of intimidated me because in my mind I was just thinking the entire time that I don't have the patience to write something like this. And like Universe had mentioned that I thought this was the best verse I had read thus far in the league. Excellent narrative from start to finish, loved the riddle, and also the destription of your character's quest, was a dope little montage in my brain and it was cool the answer was so simple yet so complex really drove the quoted topic home. Excellent work

MMLP - This was kind of a fresh breath to see you take on something different this week, much like Inno but to be honest I'm not sure anyone's best foot forward could have beat Johnny this week let alone a keystyle, but you held your ground decent enough and had some cool visuals here as well as a vast vocabulary. Showed off a lot of astronomy knowledge and tied it back to the narrative which was cool. Decent verse.

Johnny wins this hands down he was just on a whole other level compared to most of the weekly pieces I've seen. Cool battle

[Adverse]

JOHNNY WINS 5-0