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Old 07-16-2021, 02:56 PM   #1
Mr. J
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Default Breathe Purple while quoting Steve Urkel

To say the least, the tame pray to beasts
Save their speech until they can claim a feast
Brazen beaks circle and await their treat
I see you...and even though you wait for me
I'll never come like a hand with a tricky thumb
Curriculum based outside the windy slum
Y'all rode the bench harder than the sticky gum
Better off dead than willingly giving up...
Tip the scale while walking the balance beam
Pleas of insanity, quoting the dregs of humanity
Lost in self worth then change came radically
Now that's senseless...enter another casualty
A canister, a banister...a widow and a camera
Broken windows, laughter and Michaelangelo
May the art live on when filmed by amateurs...
Another day done...mark it off the calendar
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Old 07-17-2021, 01:31 AM   #2
Cereal
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this was dope, the mich drop was hot and the gum flip sunk it for me real cool dude
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Old 07-25-2021, 06:52 AM   #3
corleone
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doooooopppeeee...
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Old 08-03-2021, 12:13 PM   #4
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Short and sweet like your pieces often are. Definitely enjoyed reading this!

My only critique that I can see would be the opener. Instead of "they can claim", why not "until they claim"? To me that'd follow the rhythmic pattern a bit better + be a bit more poignant and to the point. At least to me this reads better and hits harder with no vague points as to what the tame would do:

To say the least, the tame pray to beasts
Save their speech until they claim a feast

That said tho, enjoyed this a lot, dope write up
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