Summer Classic Round 1 Mag

[Sharp]

Intro

Yo, Sharp here with a bleak-anchored mag kicking off THE Summer Classic. Before anything else gets addressed, yes, we have 8 battlers with a bye week. This avoids any 3-way battles and was a pretty straightforward merit-based selection. It's pretty fair to say that all of the top 8 have done more than enough in the last year to distinguish themselves from the pack. The classic always brings out the best in this site and I'm excited to see what it squeezes out of the culture this year. Speaking of the culture, we're kicking it off with a discussion between two guys who embody that shit.


INTERVIEW WITH ZUCH
BY BLEAK



HUGE SHOUT OUT TO ZUCH REP HIS COMMENTS
THIS IS LIKE 2012 MAG FULL INTERVIEW
MAYBE I DO A VIDEO NEXT WEEK


Tell us your history in text what sites you have battled on, titles you have held.

I started on ripthemic.net in 2000. Some names from back then would be Benny Tickles and Antz. Man, I’m drawing blanks it was so long ago. Moved over to UPN at the end of ‘01 and stayed all the way until it died this year, although it hasn’t been active in a few years. As far as titles I’ve won, that’s tough to say because I took a hiatus from 2006 until literally last year. (With the exception of a couple tourneys on UPN) I haven’t battled since pba 3. I did win the UA 32-man tourney in 2004. That was probably the last really great tournament as far as I can remember.


How far do you expect to make it in this year's bracket? Who do you see as your biggest comp?

Lol that’s another tough one. I haven’t written in several months, but assuming I get it together I could probably make it all the way. Obviously anything can happen. Looking at the bracket I could end up against MetaSin, User, Orc, Blue, Frac and on any given day anything can happen when you go up against guys like that. As long as I’m in the zone though I’m pretty confident. Really just want to have some fun with the bros.


Do u find it important for u to win this year to cement some level of legacy?

I mean I would like to win SC simply because I was runner-up last year and it kinda irks me that I couldn’t finish it off. As far as legacy I don’t really think that’s important to me. My legacy is and will always be the faggot who sold a broken iPhone on Craigslist.


What has been your favorite battle you had on NCs?

My favorite battle would have to be one of the last couple against Blue. The 60 bar one and the NBL Finals.
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.ph...416#post797416


Who is the greatest battler of all time that is involved in this year's tourney, excluding yourself?

I’ll answer this one two ways. The greatest battler of all-time is probably Fracture. I would put Blue Bayou up there as well, unfortunately he wasn’t around back in the super early days so Fracture just leaves more of an impression on me.






THROWBACK BATTLE: HUSH vs CASHIUS
SUMMER CLASSIC 10


Hush
U my magicians assistant ... wave the stick ur spirit start hovering
I’ll give you so many L’s you’d think the ghost in the Ouji board was stuttering
Space age weaponry ... I can erase wherever the clip point
I got laser guns that can liquidate cash since his only worth is online like a bitcoin
Mossberg body ya. Then gone have to mop ya body up slime
Limbs to the right and the left ..Racist til death . Chalk outline like a swaztika sign
battles a beat em up game when I go savage mode
Ima monster wit the punches ... swell ya face til u resemble a battle toad
He be lying about teks and nines .. that’s why I hate this wigga
U don’t play wit arms ... u wouldn’t shoot at the end of a game of Rock Paper Scissors
Prolly still live wit ur buddies ... 10 in a car when it’s time to roll out
Extendo clip nicknamed Netflix account..u can share it wit ur whole house
Save the gangsta shit... u lived the safe nerd fsggots life
Only time you was ‘rollin 20’ was dungeons and dragons night
Ya moms a Amish alcoholic whore.. she’ll be drunk In her casket
It’s sad aunt Jemima got her face off the bottle way before that bitch
Boy is u KKKrazy? the racist shit u been posing ain’t flying here.
so much pushback from the voters next verse’ll need barricades and riot gear
Step to me and get blown to bits ... the shit that u spit misfire
I drop bombs in my verses ......If you got a killer line left ur foots on the tripwire

Cashius
You’d be shot if you slang outside the burbs...This bitch a lame pretender
If this dude Pushed on the Block he’d end up with a Hole...like it’s a game of Jenga
God, I’m a felon, put a shot to your melon...You’ll be real shook, Victor
After the Headshot you go in a Box...now you just a Memory like a yearbook picture
Say goodbye to ya fam thanks to the 9mm...your head’ll be clapped
You’ll be like your father...You’ll get the Sigs and then NEVER come back
You could never handle being locked up...bet this fucking dude would end it
Jail would be tough as thit...we’ve seen how much you struggle through a Sentence
We KNOW this deadbeat won’t take his daughter to the park...he’ll leave her deprived
Little bitch be confused when the Arms Exposed and she catch Heat from the Slide
Ever thought of trimming them bushes on your forehead? Bro, fucking try...wow
People think Vic’s always high...but it’s just his lids can’t hold up them eye brows
This mid tier faggot being HOF tarnishes it for me...Homie, it’s fact
Just knowing U-Haul makes me want to Open Up and Unload through your Back
Heard having a baby adds some pounds...You’re prolly thicker, am I right?
Bet that Dad Bod feels weird...Since you’ve NEVER had a Father Figure in your life
I’ll put that piece down your jaw...When I’m squeezing the four you hurting
Maybe if you would’ve got clipped in the mouth sooner you’d speak like a normal person
Look...you’re small, it’s been documented...So, we ain’t shook at all, Geek.
Only time you got a Body Hitting a Target...Leo was tossing you in Wolf of Wall Street




BATTLER BIOS
I HAVEN'T BEEN TO DISCUSSION SINCE 2018
SORRY IF I DONT KNOW WHO TF YOU ARE - bleak

Zuch
UPN's finest(?), quickly made waves on the green forum upon his arrival. He has won every event held over the last year, including NBL. With the only exception being the last installment of SC.
Quarantine has been very good for the text career of Zuch. Can he redeem his loss to Neighbor in 2021?

Infiltrate
Hard to consider Inf anything less than top tier, although he's caught some bad breaks. He gets no showed literally any time he has a chance to prove himself.
With 2021 being a weird time to try and stick out in the world of text, I'm interested to see what he brings to any decent comp.

Orc
For a while I considered Orc the face of NCs. At the time he was winning almost everything. We all grow up one day, and yet somehow most of us end up right back here. Writing 10k characters worth of info on people I've never met IRL.
Can he find the Irish inspiration that carried him to a HOF career?

Username
User called me smart once because I'm good at shitty trivia, and it made me happy so we pick User to win it all around here. v/Username vs everybody
User is creative and fun to read. He gets the free week so that should lend well into fleshing out his ideas correctly.

Blue Bayou
The best example of consistency you will find in this bracket. No one has ever read a Blue line and regretted it unless you hang out in discord long enough.
An initial favorite to win in my opinion, it will take an extraordinary performance to knock him off early.

John Hensley
Not sure how active Hens has been the last couple years, assuredly more than myself. The track record speaks to the potential in a Hens verse, it will be interesting to see if he can reach and maybe even surpass that level.
I'm looking forward to seeing how the prestige of Summer Classic can bring out a form we haven't seen from him yet.

Dave
If you're not in discord or from 2016 I probably don't know who you are. But Dave is one person who's battles I've seen around all the time. Seems like he's just outside the bubble of being considered "top tier" but a good run here can help that.
This is a great chance for Dave and guys like him to prove where they stand in 2021.

Fracture
Often imitated, never duplicated. This is like the 15 year Summer Classic reunion.
We have seen what he can do.

Mac
Didn't Mac win the rookie tourney like 4 times? Maybe that was someone else. I see him around in discord sometimes which makes him superior to the non initiated.
I've seen some verses here and there from Mac, nothing recently tho. He was capable at least before, interested to see where he is at now.

Defiant
How does Def always know when a tourney is? I don't think I've ever signed into a tourney he wasn't involved in and didn't no show.
But seriously if he writes to his potential he can win a battle or two. Hard to see him beating the stronger names in the bracket but I look forward to seeing what can be produced.

MetaSin
This guy battled styk idk what to say. He could have a Resin esque showing or just no show round 1 and we never even knew he was here. I hope for the former, it makes these easier to write.
He certainly has the resume Barcotic dreams of, and they both probably write like it's 2006.








Cereal
My favorite aesthetic account on the entire site, the topical head and disc legend. Idk where he ends up in this tourney, or where his skills in battle texting lie, but if you don't appreciate any and every Cereal post you're in the wrong place.

Universe
I can't front I haven't read much Universe, let's all learn together brb. Okay so his topicals are fire? That can translate more times than not. I can't find many regular battles but he is eager to prove himself it seems.
Champing a seemingly revitalized AOWL is no easy feat, I like seeing topical heads write battle verses.

Timeless
Another topical head, this guy has apparently been way more active than I would have guessed. He has a strong voice on the things he's interested in. Maybe battling will be the place he breaks free of a certain mold and finds a persona outside of "another topical head."

Bomb Bard
Seems like this guy has buoyed at average for too long now. It's never obvious what a battler is missing until they fix it.
He basically gets the free round 1 but nothing is guaranteed in 2021.

Sinacog
Sin has dropped an absolutely fire verse already and needs less introduction than that.

Incredible
I remember when Incredible was really invested into getting better at text, he asked for a lot of advice and I wanted to see him reach the next level.
Now I wonder how much he truly committed himself to that task, and hope he has at least reached a comfortable existence that doesn't frustrate him.

Sn00p
The sly return of a certified legend has placed him in the middle of Summer Classic. We haven't seen a Sn00p verse since like 2015?
I hope we can catch a glimpse of the creativity and crisp wording he showcases, all w English being his second language

Allen Knight
Another one of our rare cameos, although AK has a history of not showing rust. The game never really changes when you can carry a verse with wording

Cred
Cred is the most positive person here and grew up in a literal war zone. While everyone else thinks bullying and contrarian attitudes are the cool thing, my man Cred is 10 toes down.
I hope you are doing well man, I hope you write 16 cause I need that street shit in my text battles in 2021

Zelph
I thought Zuch was Zelph for like 6 months and then I realized, wait this UPN guy actually wins?
Maybe Zelph will shock the world and win a couple. Seems like he doesn't post much anymore and that's a damn shame.

Wanderer
He had a great season in NBL, coming off a winning record into the summer. Maybe he's found a breakthrough since then and can pull off an upset in round 1. He's proven he knows how to think outside the box.

Bags
Bill the ghost1, singlehandedly instigated this tourney through scare tactics/shock and awe. Can we at least thank him for that?
Even when he doesnt make it past the 1st round, we can still appreciate his dedication to Summer Classic.






ROUND 1 PREDICTIONS
bleak and Sharp


ZELPH VS WANDERER

I'm not really sure how active Zelph has been, I guess he found another site or another alt that has been successful for him. But when Zelph was writing every week he produced some decent verses. He is clearly capable of winning here. Wanderer is a bit of a wild card, and if we see his best he could steal this one.

Wanderer has definitely found a footing recently. He had a cinderella run though the NBL at the start of covid and really developed during the ensuing summer. Zelph had a weird period of time at the peak that seems to be an eternity ago. I haven't paid much attention to text since the pic league a year ago and these two were pretty clearly on different levels the whole time. Unless something's changed drastically, I have Wanderer with a comfortable advantage.


ALLEN KNIGHT VS CRED
That's a fun matchup huh? You guys better show this is the battle that I personally want to read more than any other this round. I don't think either has dropped in a while now. Cred you better have really sent 10.

Cred has not sent me anything. Cred, please send someone lines or something.

This could have been a late tournament matchup, even the finals, 2-3 years ago. It's a shame, but the only thing these guys got worse at was showing. Cred and AK both have such great styles. Cred's got such a following there's a discord bot spiting his lines on command. When he drops a haymaker, you react physically and if it's against you, you fucking remember it years later ('waiting for a body' still hurts me). Mean, AK had THE style every budding texcee tried to copy from like 2014-16 for a reason. It's direct, well worded, easy to understand but not predictable. I just have to hope one of these two shows.


INCREDIBLE VS SN00P
I mean if Sn00p hasn't lost every shred of text talent he built up through years of practice, he should win here. However, I think Incredible is a hungry battler. This is a good place to learn what it's like to have top tier opposition.

The story here is going to be 'how good is Sn00p anymore?'. Unless he's crazy rusty, he'd be a formidable opponent for anyone. Incredible has been showing up reasonably consistently for the last few years, and while it's been improving, it's definitely not at the level Sn00p was once at. His wording is still his biggest weakness, but he can certainly put together a punch. He'll need some haymakers to make it far in this tourney so it's fair that round one has this level of competition. If Sn00p is anywhere near as good as he was 5 years ago, Inc has his work cut out for him.


BOMB BARD VS SINACOG
The godkin Sinacog has already dropped his verse and I gotta say, Bomb can't just slack off this week. I hope he comes correct and doesn't get embarassed in round 1.

I really love this new age of Spree showing up consistently. He's always been solid and now that he's likely to show, I'm expecting good things from him. The random seeding was good to him round one and he has a fun match. Hoping he uses the breathing room the matchup gives him to experiment, stretch out, try things he wouldn't otherwise, because his biggest weakness is probably running out of angles he feels good about using (especially in reg battles). Seeing the dude do 8 straight pic battles showed us he's creative. Looking forward to seeing what he does here.

Also, obv, Sinacog is going to champ the classic.


UNIVERSE VS TIMELESS
I'm sure these guys are thrilled to be fighting each other in a real battle. 2 strong topical heads can make for an interesting battle. Hopefully it is creative and fun to read. I got Universe here just based on overall success in text, but we all know these types of fights can go any way.

timeless aka Mordecai has battled on NC and RB on and off for the better part of the last decade, doing topical and regs. Universe isn't strictly topical, but that's definitely where most of his portfolio lies. The technical writing and creativity Universe has can shine through pretty amazingly (think the Elisa Lam bar last NBL season). If both show, my guess is it'll come down to consistency. I don't expect either to fall into the usual topical traps of 'either too simple or too complex' and/or 'wording is flashy/technical but lacks sting', but between how rarely I see these guys battle (especially timeless) there's always the risk of some misses. Universe has a solid advantage, but I'm downgrading it to a slight edge because timeless is also a sixers fan.


METASIN VS CEREAL
Old school flavor vs the New Age wave. I really want Cereal to be good at what he does, whatever that may be. However, he might be a bit outmatched here. Loot aka Metasin has like 2 decades of experience in this arena. That's not really hyperbole.

The random ordering fucked up and gave a rematch of a
2 week old battle. Sorry guys. The nice thing is we have a pretty clear predictor of this matchup and Candy seemed outclassed before. I respect that he wants to write, but he needs to come with better punchlines to hang with MetaSin. Loot, to his credit, doesn't seem overly rusty. If he doesn't lose interest battling the same person in back to back weeks, he very well may be a top contender in this Classic... Maybe our first repeat champ since Alvin Karpis?


MAC VS DEFIANT
Return to any rookie tourney from 2012-2018 and I bet you could find an example of how Mac is gonna beat Defiant. Both of them need to show because this could be a sleeper battle that we really enjoy reading. Bring your best shit.

I think bleak is thinking of Alphabet aka Shank Sinatra. This is probably the most even matchup of the round. This really could be a coin flip. Def has shown how he can pop in and drop a solid verse, maybe leaving a little to be desired with wording. Meanwhile Mac really works through his concepts, good or bad. He's had more dope ideas than bad concepts lately so if that persists, we've got a potential banger here.


BAGS VS BLEAK
ISN'T BAGS LIKE 40 NOW? I MEAN I KNOW I'M WRITING A MAG BUT HOW IS BAGS THE CATALYST FOR SUMMER CLASSIC? THIS ISN'T THE PLACE FOR ANY OF US. WE ALL DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.

Well,




Outro

Shoutout to bleak for basically writing this mag. Dude is a gem. Shoutout to Zuch and everyone harassing me into running this. I didn't want a relaxing July anyway. Roster looks pretty sick. You know the drill, let's make it dope. Peace

[bleak]

Sorry it's been a while I'll fix those music links when i get home.

[UserName]

Dope mag dude, enjoyed the read

[Cereal]

dope mag thanks for the shout outs it was def cool - thanks again for the mag

[Blue Bayou]

Thank you for mag

[Ghost1]

LOTTA FUCKA NERVE

[bleak]

fixed the vids everyone read it again w my songs on

[Smod of War]

Thank you for mag guys it was great

Sorry I couldn’t make it, it’s already Friday evening in Italy and I’m struggling to manage patients and my PBS Kids gunbar verse against wanderer

I’ll be there though

[Sn00p]

good shit yall

[Bomb Bard]

Thanks for the msg sharp

[Mac]

good work fellas.. refreshening to read mags again

[Orc]

Thanks for the mag fellas, appreciate the effort

[Aero]

Dopemag. That hush vs cash battle is a classic. Cash won imo.

[Blue Bayou]

Riot Gear and Dad Bod were bangers

[Aero]

Originally Posted by Blue Bayou

Riot Gear and Dad Bod were bangers

Yessir

[Incredible]

Lots of work went into this. Good shit guys

[Aero]

Originally Posted by Incredible

Lots of work went into this. Good shit guys

6-15? There aren't 15 battlers on this site what's going on

[Loot]

that dad bod line was literally perfect. dope.

i think cash might've had the better verse, but I'd have to read it again.

[Universe]

Dad Bod was FIRE. Why didn't I think of that?

Oh, wait... I did.


August 22, 2019

Universe:

"I got a riddle; How do you have a dad bod without a father figure?"

From 'Rhymehunter' - 16th line in the 3rd stanza.

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=140604

June 21, 2020

Cashus:

"Bet that Dad Bod feels weird...Since you’ve NEVER had a Father Figure in your life"

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=143582

Bite? Coincidence? Better wording? Whatever. I did it first. This happens to me a lot...

Cool mag guys, thanks

[Letterman]

Dope mag. Is there a link to the discord?