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Old 01-23-2020, 05:54 AM   #1
Exis
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Default Clowns...

Ayo,

Y'all shook ones,
Havin' a mean look but remember my beef's only cooked once
Cologne and chains
Ima crook son,
Makin' you shake and then shiver with punches punctuatin' your lungs
Then the liver wrecked like trippin' on liquor,
Connect this sword tip to your hip and slash thru this figure
Sowed my stitches back,
Alive!
Punches kickin' in,
Let us meet on a sidewalk
A Inglewood tightrope
The path is narrow,
You overdosed?
On the contents of my dome
Go wave good-bye to those high hopes
And open the package...
Behold the eyes of a savage
Clashin' Ak's and daggers,
Feelin' like my mic is this craft that I could crash thru the planet
I'm a machine minus the control panel,
A Rottweiler tearin' up the whole kennel
I'll smash your brains out thru your nostrils,
Ex is muther fuckin' Stone Cold and your a fuckin' fossil
Kerosine plus a light...
Got your corpse rottin' beneath the crust bottom
I'll be at your funeral bitch with blessings and blossoms,
Screamin' Trayvon for life.
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Old 01-23-2020, 03:29 PM   #2
Dope girl
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To be honest
I love how you added heavy hitters
Sound like diss Freestyle
Decent punchlines and multies
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Old 01-24-2020, 12:03 AM   #3
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Appreciate the feed, thank you...
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Old 01-26-2020, 01:17 AM   #4
Adverse
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Your closer was sick, the stone cold line onwards were the best bars of the piece. I think you can connect your lines a little better, like make them more releveant to the bar before it it'll bridge your verse together better. Also do a little check on using the correct word before you post

"Makin' you shake and then shiver with punches punctuatin' your lungs"

That should be puncturing, could've been autocorrect idk. Decent drop man keep writing
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Old 01-26-2020, 02:35 AM   #5
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I agree, I don't connect shit sometimes...Havin' said that I only key.. Maybe edited two verses in my life but yeah type stuff, Thanks for the comments FAM, I'll be on your level soon...
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