Our thoughts are our own

[Flow]

I prowl the street with a violent gaze
I howl and i shriek but its a silent daze
Fantasise of rape, the thrill of the chase
My Eyes fill with hate as I stare into space
I dream of the taste of their fear and grin
Seduction is the feel of my lips on their skin
I get an eruption, I love the corruption of sin
I whisper sweet nothings, gently brushing their hair
I kiss their cheeks flushing as I glare with a hungering stare
I pull up their skirt, stick my finger in without a fimble of care
I rip off their shirt, then i linger as i realise, no one is there....

... just another daydream filled with despair

[Mr. J]

this was a more vivid piece,very well written with the restrictions implied
and by 'restrictions' I mean your line use, and by line use I mean your number of lines
and by number of lines I mean your choice of words & your vision as it unfolds
a very nice use of words might I add, the flow of the piece is pretty smooth
fits a llot in without overworking it with a million other ideas going off at once
really showcases your use of words and how to paint something without saying much
good here but in other places may effect you to be worst off, regardless...nice work
I really enjoyed your ability to fit so much in with so little...keep writing

[Flow]

Props on the feed let me know if there's anything I can return the favor on

[Bodey]

I kiss their cheeks flushing as I glare with a hungering stare
I pull up their skirt, stick my finger in without a fimble of care
I rip off their shirt, then i linger as i realise, no one is there....

nice ending. i liked the imagery, and the darkness in the tone of the piece. i wish i could string a line even as complete as you do.

[sral]

HA! I recognise that style tbh

Prettty good verse, just obv the length isnt ideal for in here. We always want something more filling. 20-30 lines is about perfect. Your flows good though and it was cool to see you attempt more rigid schemes etc, the shorter line lengths help your flow no end.