MAGAZINE

[Frank]

i was sitting on the couch and minding my own business: posting on social media, channel surfing, uploading pics, etc...When I got this notification from Netcees, about somebody mentioning me, or whatever, on Netcees. I had disregarded these type of email over the years. This time was different, though. I started getting these premonitions. At this point, it had been years since I seriously really wrote anything & I thought, "What the hell!" I figured out my password, logged in. Signed up for the AOWL and the rest is history... Moral of the story is: We owe it to ourselves to prove ourselves. It's okay if you want to, continue, ignoring, the junk mail notifications, but-please: do not/don't allow yourself to simply disregard what makes you Who You Are. Stand up to what's stopping us. Now is the time to Fight to keep that dream alive inside of us. We were all in your same position. Sitting on the sofas, resting on our laurels, living in fantasy worlds of yesteryears lore. Its about time we got a good, swift kick in the pants. It's my gut feeling that text will bounce back once we snap out of our delusion of grandeur and this false sense of contentedness. It's only a matter of time before the collective conscious kicks in and the revolution gets televised:


"Never Doubt That A Small Group Of Thoughtful Committed Citizens Can Change The World:
Indeed It'S The Only Thing That Ever Has."

WRITER'S BLOCK

by El Pancake and ZYG: AOWL SEASON 3 WEEK 5 EXCERPT

This is where we learn how ZYG's central processing unit functions.

El Pancake: What's your process for writing so fast? I think most of the top tier writers could respond as fast as you do but you have the confidence to actually do it. Is it out of confidence that you do this or is it a sort of gambit?

ZYG: Completing any writing task efficiently always begins in the planning stage of writing. My rule of thumb for the planning stage is always 20% and a bit. So if there is 2 hours allotted to finish something I'll spend about 25-30 minutes planning. Having a good, clear plan with all the major aspects of each paragraph/argument and a few examples for each of them set out is key for not getting stuck while writing. For the second part, it is no gambit or confidence or psychological ploy or anything like that. It is just a bit of an old habit. You have written 'top tier writers' - how would you define that, what are your features for a 'top tier writer' in this type of format? Like how much emphasis do you place on things like the multiple rhyme and this so-called 'flow' people sometimes comment about?

El Pancake: To answer your last question first, I, personally, put a lot of emphasis on rhyme mechanics and my voting tends towards that. We aren’t writing short stories here. I understand that the ‘text rap’ form has evolved, at least in the topical sense, into its own form of writing. But I feel that if we depart too far from technical rhyme schemes it eventually becomes mediocre poetry (not to say that if this site’s focus was purely poetry the good writers couldn’t adapt). Everyone here has a basis, or touch point, with hip hop. So while I enjoy a poetic piece I think the ‘top tier’ consciously reconciles the dichotomy of ‘rhyming’ and ‘content’ with an emphasis on rhyme. Vulgar is my favorite example of this. Oats, too. Neither write raps, neither write poetry. But they write text with a point, with an eye for the use of the English language. And that’s where I think the Netcees topical scene should be and why they’re considered the best, or part of the best. big baby/damon falls into that, as well.

What’s your writing process? I understand your 20% concept idea (I disagree). You obviously know that the trend is for writers to wait for the deadline to post. You purposely don’t do that. I suppose I’ve already asked this question, but I’m trying to dig deeper into the ‘why’ of your posting of verses.

ZYG: OK for this type of writing specifically, my full process has 4 parts. Firstly, identify and familiarize the stimulus - usually some aspect of the topic will stand out, I like to choose an approach that is interesting to me and then commit to it. (For here, no research is needed but sometimes if the topic is unfamiliar a little internet search can help with overall approach.)

Secondly, planning stage - this is the most critical stage for whether or not the quality is any good. There are three major things to be considered before even an outline is created. Tone, language and then general content. Tone is considered first and should mesh well with my approach identified in stage one. Language then should be self-evident to compliment the tone. Then general content is how I want to present everything (what kind of medium, maybe a story, maybe nonfiction discussion, maybe something else). Once these 3 are settled an outline is made for the specific content, the outline is just a number of shorthand dot points to help keep the progression focused and on track.

Thirdly, the writing stage - 90% of the time for these things I don't write anything in order, kind of jumping from part to part, a sentence here, a phrase there, a thematic word that fits with the topic etc. Mostly it doesn't rhyme much and is not coherent early on. It's only later that it gets changed into rhymes and made more coherent, the earlier plan and dot points are used as a guide.

Finally, reflective exercise - at the end I will spend time for some self-evaluation, generally looking at it once or twice more, a few days after it is finished. It is a critical reflective exercise completed for all of my writing, including on this website too. Reflection my favorite part of the process. Not reflection in the common sense of the word but reflection as the ability to remove personal bias and consider the writing critically and analytically from a meta-kind of position. The reflection considers the whole effort, not just the final product. When identifying a bad or confused section, I reflect on if there were any difficulties in the planning or initial stages that may have caused it. This way I can know what to avoid to maximize future efficiency. Not necessarily to make the future writing better, but to make each future writing process easier.

What is your writing process and does it involve 'new-age folk'?

El Pancake: It involves the perfect equilibrium of new-age folk and Jack Daniels. (srs) (notsrs) (semisrs)

Really, though, my writing process is probably roughly the same as yours but I feel like you’re a bit more process oriented and professional about it than I am. @sral recently said that he takes his opponent into account in topical matches and I do the same thing. I often think about what route my opponent is most likely going to take and I than try to out-think that hypothetical concept. It sets a standard I want to exceed. As for plotting out a concept, it's a fickle. I probably over think it, trying to think of the single most original concept and that often leads me to paralysis by analysis. The best pieces I've written, in my eyes, have been the ones were I just picked a concept early on, stuck with it, and worked in the nuances.

I find your process of writing in bits and pieces interesting. I write linearly, almost exclusively. The most I'll do is write the ending of a piece after getting to the middle. That's not to say I don't have ideas or lines in mind as I write, I think everyone does. I just never commit and write them early. That's largely due to the fact I like to structure my schemes very organically. I write from rhyme to rhyme, trying to fill in (hopefully) good content and wording with the rhymes as the pre-built frame. So if I were to pre-write lines ahead of time I would have to couch and reword lines/rhymes constantly to get the flow/effect I'm looking for. In typing that out it might not be a bad idea to try going that route sometime.

As for the actual writing, it’s a long process. I’d hazard to guess I take multiple hours to write a piece unless it all just clicks right away, which can happen. I enjoy taking time and letting myself work through possible rhymes and wording combinations until I get it exactly how I want. There are, of course, times that I don’t allot myself enough time to do this and I have to rush.

As far as a ‘reflective process’ goes I re-read my pieces quite a few times after they’re posted. I often dislike most of what I write initially but after the re-reading process I become okay with them. I find that the pieces others have liked the most from me don’t often match up with my opinion of my best work. Or that voters liked a piece/section for completely different reasons than I did. Self re-reading and taking votes into consideration has definitely shaped and refined my style, for better or worse. Probably better. As a side-note to this, I don’t read my opponent’s verse until the battle’s over or something in the votes piques my interest. Not meant be disrespectful, just a habit of mine.

You have this mystique of being an alien/robot type entity that just pumps out high level content at a quick rate. Do you ever feel unsatisfied with a piece, or go through stretches of lack of inspiration/motivation?

ZYG: Being an alien robot has some advantages and disadvantages. The joke is good and it's fun to go along with it, but when the satirist becomes the joke itself it’s time to do something else. Of course there's a feeling of little satisfaction when something doesn't translate well from original idea to final form, but that's why having good reflective skills is important. That being, pretty much in all facets of life I aim low to avoid feeling unsatisfied. The idea is - being consistent is all about being realistic. Work goals and life ambitions are split into different levels and then aim to achieve the most achievable targets first. The same principle goes for here too, I don't try to write some magnum opus piece de resistance every time, every effort is treated individually, so if feeling unsatisfied it's not because of not meeting some arbitrary or self-grandeur influenced unrealistic standard.

Stretches of lack of motivation for this kind of writing don't really occur often, when they do I just don't log onto this website. However, if there is some outside situation where there's no avoiding working through a lack of motivation, there are different techniques to use. It's a good exercise to figure out where the lack of motivation is coming from, if it's due to burnout I like to do 15 minutes mentally on and 5 off alternating, nobody can tell by looking at you but just switching off/meditating without the meditation/sleeping without the sleep can help get motivation levels back temporarily. If lack of motivation is due distraction over some relationship controversy or interpersonal stressors I like to put those thoughts into the back of my CPU while there is still some task to finish and just concentrate on the very small details of whatever is at hand. As for inspiration, the original inspiration to write something is difficult to capture. That's why these contests with their attached stimulus are my favorite. I like being able to respond to something rather than trying to do something from scratch. Sometimes for ultimate rhyme inspiration I listen to twelve different Canibus songs all at once while standing in a slowly rotating sphere. Do you ever feel unenthusiastic or unmotivated? How do you deal with apathy towards writing?

Also, thanks for the interview. It's early on in the competition but it looks like at the moment either @oats or @Vulgar have the momentum, it's always unwise to discount Frank. To finish, which users do you place your bets on?

El Pancake: I usually just sign out and try to avoid writing altogether. That's where I was after my loss to @Just Write; I felt burnt out and just had to take a breather and focus on more important problems. When writing feels like work I like to take a step back and hopefully come back refreshed.

As far as favorites go it’s a toss-up between @Vulgar and @oats. It’s early yet but from what I've read they've been the best writers this season. I think Vulgar out wrote Frank in their latest match and should be in the first champ match. Oats seems committed when he's not getting Genocide-drunk at weddings. It’s entirely too early to pick a favorite but they both have the skill and performance in-season so far to champ. If I was forced to pick one I’d go Vulgar. This is excluding me and you because obv favorites are obv. To cap off this back and forth, who do you have as the favorites?

ZYG: Good point about things feeling like a grind, agreed, if it's not fun or enjoyable then there isn't really much point. My favorites are the same as you've mentioned, although my personal favorite is @Pinot Grij - just a really good display of advanced multiple rhyming and interesting subject matter. @Adonis seems to be capable as an underrated favorite this time, would like to see @Nigma and the @big baby sign in at some stage as well. @YDK is also up there as a favorite - he has a great control over all aspects of writing and has great takes on topics with a special mastery over writing tone and voice. Good luck to you and all others as well, all the best.

El Pancake: Thanks for your time. It was interesting to hear about your writing process brah. Good luck this season.

@zygote @PancakeBrah

BACK IN THE DAY!
Season 3: Week 12 "Cereal_Killah"

Last House on the Left

..

..

As maple seeds grow through the subtle grains of grass
My brain is a stain glass window of faint hope-cast
insane
In a frame of past, present and whatever shall remain
Dark..Dark like the meadow of change
Dark like the grey silhouette when it rains
Dark like what’s left for dead still matters
It matters enough to bring pain
I am a doll,
from ₂ to 1 to none
I am a Babushka doll enveloping my own song
The colours of my orchestra are an aurora un-plugged
Amongst torture, I have restored up and restrung what I love
My own cabin of thoughts which hums through the wildest winds n’ dust
Like a fever, to catch forever young
..
I’m in a marriage with murals for mortar n aerials of fortunate lies
I can move mountains with morality when I breathe in absorption lines
My eyes are like opals open beyond Eris on an easel of sky
In a delicate aisle of endurance swallowed by tangerine tiles
For now my shack shimmers it’s numbers in a luminescent squall
As night or day drifts like a centre fold memorial in my fish bowl
There is only one; oen; ONE field of dreams I sit upon
Imagination; a material or mirage of fortitude and madness split n hung
A gift for some, to sift out something as vivid as freedom and missed love
To get lost is the point, indirectly becoming twisted on a horizon
Fixated on its existence knowing its whispers should leave you enlightened
But it don’t
The air is too thin up here and my circulation has gone numb
The dimming light switch has shrunk to what it never was once
There is only reason left in a sea of colours unseen by much
A queen in a revolving reality de-evolving each mind it touched
Once you remove its literal meaning and direct understand on others
You find that you where always happier back in your own “poetic justice”



No Show Shine



MMLP

There once was a Postman, let’s call him Pat for arguments sake
Caught up in all the commotion of his guarded estate
Once regarded a saint putting his family first
As sharp as his navy coloured suits and flattering shirts
A man of his word delivering packages at your door
Always happy and chirpy and up at the crack of dawn
Patting Labradors whilst relishing those early visits
As the ladies clambered for his words of wisdom
Turning women’s heads but with a secret battle plan
As per, the birds are singing,
This day just is beginning to unravel fast!
He’s a really happy man,
All smiles, beaming at the cat as he goes about his day
Everything appropriately placed and nothing is encroached
Until one day he notices a tray is missing its load
and all of a sudden, he’s been Pigeonholed.
He was pipped to the post with no time to respond
Being pushed from pillar to post as he realises its gone
and soon his wife is the one catching up on his infidelities
She’s now reciting the wrong love-letter with a another address
What he’s effectively done is a forwarded message
Irrespective,
He’d await his brush with death as she struggled letting go
He pushed the envelope for far too long without consequence
Thought he covered his tracks as he made advances
A door to door charlatan who became an addict
Caught in the act of his daily antics as he’d take advantage
Like a snake, in silence he slithered
Where lying became a habit but now it’s really time to deliver
Facing the eyes of a killer with Redrum splattered around
on opposite sides to the mirror
Role reversal, the man of the house duties become upended
Battling a spouse who’s come for vengeance
Unrelenting in her quest for settling the score
Revenge or a divorce?
Disobeying the letter of the law and he’ll be fighting it shortly
Living his timeline on the motto, like there’s no tomorrow
As he lined up divorcees
No pride, just the glory because life’s too short,
But long story short he didn’t live to tell his side of the story
Lighting the torch, in silence she stalked him
Somewhat ironically, acting unusual with a gift concealed
Rubber stamped for approval after ripping the seal
Gripping the steel! She finally decided to bite the bullet
..but he did it for real
Postman Pat’s killers revealed
And that’s the day she got the sacks, his bodybag(s)
A copycat, but a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s has gotta do
It turns out Mr Pat was on the loose with pure disregard
he faced the music, chopped and screwed into multiple parts
To be kept as memorials in large,
Now all of his partners are in the know and all is discovered
Signed sealed delivered, piece by piece to all of his lovers!

He was pipped to the post with no time to respond
Being pushed from pillar to post as he realises its gone

MMLP gave us a doozy here about some Paper Boys serial cheating ways and its spousal revenge. Without going into graphic detail and giving too much away: MMLP skips sinisterly down Infidelities Lane... going absolutely postal, kicking ass, taking names and whistling Dixie. His story begins like any other ordinary boring workplace story. It's MMLPs inherent knack for gradual story development: That creates A False Sense of Well Being, for the reader/audience. MMLP leads the reader to believe everything is peachy keen before they come to the realization that the pleasantry is all a façade. MMLP's Abrupt shift in tone drops the reader into a mailbox/slash/suitcase: As MMLP drags out the murderous plot for more than half of the storyline. What begins as a Happy Go Lucky Walk Around The Block suddenly becomes a Bloody Trail of deceit and debauchery. Ultimately, we're left wondering: Does MMLP fully address the topic? Would more Postman references throughout given the paper more weight? Perhaps a few eligible details: Such as, DNA being traced from the killers salvia used to close the envelopes? Or more intimate details... like the Postman Freaking Out: When he sees blood, only to realize...ITS A PAAPERCUT. What. Cheaters never win.. At the end of the day. It all left a rather Manilla taste in my mouth. Maybe she discovers cheating because SOMEBODY at the OFFICE couldn't keep there lips sealed?
RETURN TO SENDER

brokenhal0

'' The Great Capture Made By You''


Glenn Montgomery, was one of the naturalists leading the boat tours
off the coast of a small town called assumption parish
rarely spoke about in Louisiana folklore
a brackish marsh that radiated allege were indigenous blue fish live
home to an ancient species of alligators that feed on the local kids
spoken scythian myth the gators spawn every solar eclipse
this phenomenon caused the creeks to create a tidal bayou shift
on the day of the blood moon in the month of june they woke from crypts
older head's put up fences hoping gators won't be breaking through
some of the local's were to fickle some were just a lazy few
that day Mr Montgomery told the local news
there's been an abundance of alligators eating residents
in backyards with uncovered pools ..

One of the alligators killed a pet German Shepard who went to fetch
he got to close to the waters edge by the time we got there
all I seen was blood splattered on the ferns and hedge
what surfaced next was a dog collar floating with some fur and thread
once again the blue bayou claims another pet
the mystery's that hide in those mangroves smell like death
gators roll and twist among the dragonflies in the murky mist
with the brightest lanterns at night you still couldn't see a step
and if by accident you fell overboard
the waters too cold to catch your breath while traveling downstream
I watched a python constrict a javelina till it breaks it's neck
till it's eyeballs inflated out it's misshapen head .

Crocodiles floating through the driftwood duckweed wading dredge
the tourist tremble taking pictures of gators 40 feet in length
this goes out to all the creatures that the leeches bled
prying gator eyes in the decaying vines
plotting on whose getting taken next.

Mr Montgomery pushed the motor under bamboo trees while cicadas wept
our speed boat slowed down the overgrowth was way to dense
a gators next meal while you paddle through creeks with glyph's
depicted as gods in mayan sculpture wings of vultures with beaded necks
the mayor announced a state of emergency to stop the foreseen events
Mr Montgomery was to assemble a team of poachers to clean this mess .

His name was Desmond Drowl his skin was desert brown
a desperado whose ancestors roamed the blue bayous
before they went barren during those endless drought's
no brush was to big for his machete to cut it down
he caught gators in the everglades wrestled with gators in his house
dirty overalls with a straw hat stubby arms with a scarred back
from many scraps with alligator enemies Steve Irwin energy
in the main room of his cabin a dead crocodile was his centerpiece
he was known as the only man strong enough to drink a beer
while opening up a gators mouth in temperatures below 10 degrees.

His ancestors were Knowledgeable of all gator myth
Desmond was catching gators since
they dragged his little sister away in the lake as kids
at the age of 10 that event created a sacred sense
before the cavemen crept the caiman came and went
he used duct tape and old steak to bait them in
some gators got away some gators don't forget
the ones lucky to escape still got tape embraced in flesh
Mr Montgomery gathers his team on hydro planes and jets
it will give them no advantage once they enter blue bayous greater depths.

Armed with weapons they make there way ahead
Desmond spotted a nest of 20 gators sunbathing on a wayward cliff
near the snapping turtles that's when a man named Raymond Griff
sprayed his buckshot missing all the gators as they swam away
into blue bayous bay of death
the men got off the boat Mr Montgomery advise them to wade there steps
one of the poachers stepped into quicksand and sunk up to his face and chest

Screaming for help but the mud felt like a weighted vest
suddenly a gator ran from the bushes
and bit the poachers whole face and head
the pressure from the bite exploded his brain to bit's
the shade from the canopy made this afternoon dark as the day ahead.

Another poacher named David Dread fired a round that ricocheted off
the boats steel grated nets Desmond screamed stop!!
To late the ricochet hit Mr Montgomery in his face and neck
Mr Montgomery fell to floor blood pouring out his mouth
holding his throat rolling in the sand struggling to take a breath
his guttural croaks sounded like alligators making sex.

Desmond Drowl let out a growl that made everyone turn around
it's as if the sound he made melted away his flesh
it burned away like a cigarette when the flame connects
to everyone's surprise Desmond was a gator king from great decent
half human half crocodile him and all the gators leapt
feasting on the poachers leaving no evidence trace to check
the poachers screams where so loud they made the birds in trees stay deaf
the next day the state closed that decrepit place
evacuating any people who tried to stay instead
until there's no gators left till this day some say
that's the reason why every june
the waters of the blue bayou turn a tainted red...

he used duct tape and old steak to bait them in
some gators got away some gators don't forget

Brokenhal0 takes a creative chomp out of Blue Bayou, here, with a Tantalizing Tale of Epic Proportions. Exuding "Steve Irwin Energy" Brokenhal0's cinematic voyage into the gulf stream of his consciousness creates a ever-fascinating embodiment of an alligator swimming through his opponents mindset. For Unbeknownst Reasons: Brokenhalo has an affinity and obsession for Alligators & Crocodiles. Randomly inserting these type of characters into his tales, but never quite like this at such great lengths: As we see here... His ability to Free Write in a uniquely distinct manner: is on full display here. A bombastic effort...brokenhal0 proves that he's no fluke, right here, with a deeply immersive/disturbing and gut wrenching tale. But Perhaps Brokenhalo should scale it back a bit? Create an Arc. Anchor the story somewhere. Would the tale create a bigger impact with a more concentrated effort? Time will tell if the ripple affects manifest into a big splash, as the season rows forward.

Adverse

James loved Andy more than the moon and the stars
But Andy loved James like a girl loves her dolls
Manipulating and cold, whispering his orders again
As the hair stands at attention on James’ seemingly porcelain skin
With a tingle traveling up his spine like wayward travelers
Nerves all a tangle, like his mangy beard and its straggled fur
And every time Andy left, the walls howled and the room bled
The phantom lingered at his earlobe, memories of a warm breath
Was better than any kind of dreamscape he’d been spoon-fed
By romantic subplots or bullseye! shots from a Cupid
It was genuine stuff, every single whisper was the truth
He didn’t know what the words were supposed to mean but still ate up all his food
And every time Andy would visit, donning that white coat like a vision
Those were the times this cold, small room didn’t feel like a prison
The touch of escapism, it was ecstasy, or euphoria
And even if Andy didn’t mean that way, James meant it for the both of em
The inspection of his limbs, filled his head up with screams
Hooked up to the machines, vitals displayed on the screens always careen
James had a crush and what’s a crush if you don’t lose your head in the process?
But like all facades, it had to Come to an end, it’s simply logic.

…

Andy entered James’ room, escaping the breeze in the corridor
James sat cross legged on the bed awaiting command from his overlord
Andy cracked the kind of grin a conman would wear on his lips
The one that bares terrible intentions, misguiding, mischievous
He said “the tests are all done James, you passed with excellent scores
Now it’s time for the final run” James swore he seen the outlines of devilish horns
Andy knelt at the bedside and whispered “attention”
Finally James heard the entirety of his mystery sentence

“Visceral. Napalm. Angelic.”
With such cold resolve he choked up the words
“Nefarious. Imitation. Recluse.”
James squinted at the random assortment he heard
“Definitive. Lambent. Intelligence.”
Staring at the ceiling befuddled, his heart starts to flutter
As he sees red and a rage consumes him when the last syllables uttered
He wildly swings his arm to the bedside where Andy is knelt
Squeezing his throat in his hand roughly Andy let out a yelp
In a matter of seconds he’s on his feet, black eyes stare into the scientist’s soul
He hoists his body above his head, grabs each end of his torso and PULLS
Screams bellow through the facility and the scientist is pulled into halves
Blood and entrails litter the floor as James takes a red bath
With a crazed look in his artificial eyes he rushes the reinforced steel door and breaks it
Let this be a lesson…be careful what you whisper…to sleeper agents

Andy knelt at the bedside and whispered “attention”
Finally James heard the entirety of his mystery sentence

Adverse touches upon a bizarre, close encounter with Top Secret M.I.B here. The story has a real sci-fi feel and eerie charm about it that conveys a mystery, of sorts, as the two characters get into some sort of quarrel pertaining to the proximity of their close relationship. Adverse does a good job of keeping an awkward tension through and through through out, capitalizing on this claustrophobic picture, with a personalized approach. Perhaps Adverse could've deployed more of his five senses to really create a creepy dialogue between his protagonist and antagonist? A quote that comes to mind that about sums it up:

"Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable."

SEASON 1 THROWBACK

WEEK 3
[3.1.13]
DEAD MAN VS. PENT UP

dead man

yo -



lose yourself. lose objectivism, presence and process
lose possession. take a second out to treasure the Ontic
texture and conscious. essential beyond. eons past neurologic
scientific method moronic. it's hand-me-down, a secondhand concept
take note. progress without a crisis is nonsense
like phoenix wings on the horizon - psychophysic mirages
the diplomatics, the doctorates. faith-based political mantras
read a story, catch its metaphor,
check. mission accomplished
strip away an item's counterparts - their name, or their function
perceptual substance. the bare possibility to make an assumption
timeline, steady percussion, baseline for unfortunate days
sex and power are a spirit. flesh is fortune and fame
when worlds collide, we share a common core to sustain
is it collective or connective? love, endorphins or pain
discourses explain: we've covered wisdom's source with a brain
unable to accept there's no one scoring our games
tradition kicks when an inquiry of origin's raised
we'll never reach the point there's nothing more to be gained
or is it less to be gained? concealment setting the stage
truth is sickness. masked by pride, a dextromethorphan phase
what gives a requiem grace? what's essential to fact?
how does Being formulate a proper question to ask?
we've played telephone with knowledge. only whispers and time
will determine how much Truth inside that message survives
mystery resides, not in black-or-white insidious lies
but the information we digest like biscuits and wine
scientific reprise. our logos, superstitions and language
knowledge and truthfulness, all an illusion - cynical, anxious
rewind, reduce, reconsider. definition and form,
your questions presuppose an answer. watch as wisdom is born.

another day, another epoche

- DEADMAN

vs.

Pent uP

Pausing in action: face frozen as she looks flawless in fashion
Causing more flashes as cameras around her seem drawn to her passions
Crawling, then slowly falling and stauling while flossing her assets
She even made plumber cleavage look like her drawers doing magic
Gaudy and classless, but still her vision was more than all you'd imagine
Tail tossing like rabitts, she went through holes so we'll be calling her Alice
But now with her audience basking and giving applause for her laughing
They love her because her profession's expressed in modelling madness
A popular package; her entrances made businesses famous in minutes
So Alice never pays her expenses, she just takes what she's given
Still debating it with them like even moneyless, she makes a commission
Enslaving her victims with the fakest incentives before escaping with pensions
Being priviledged and rich made her such an inconsiderate bitch
Because her visual gifts gave the littlest lifts of feeling ignorance blissed
As this became her purpose in life to never work til she dies
Going into stores and collecting from the surplus inside

On her usual run, barely using her tongue to talk, they do what she wants
Fendi, Prada, Dulche Gabana are just a few that she hunts
Only using her funds to buy the secret snack foods that she loves
But then Alice fooled with a blunt left in the astray of friends who used her car once
She smoked a little in school before becoming a picturesque tool
But that's when it was cool to blow dirt weed for a few cents with a crew
This was a new feeling, lifting her mood within one hit that she blew
Made her giggle, severely tickled by anything different she viewed
Senses confused; she's never this hungry, stomach's steadily grumbling
Getting her money as a model means eating less than a crumb a week
Head feeling numb, she loses focus for a second or three
And stressing to eat until she runs over something dead in the streets
Incredibly freaked, stopping the car and saw his head by his feet
Trails of blood next to him streaked with his intestines in strings
She hectically screams wishing all of this was just in her dreams
As she walks a little closer to see her image in Fresh magazine
The guy is clinching to cover as if this was his lover
This changed the her visions of her because her pic was blood covered...
With her being so high, this image drew dreams in her mind
Of her demonic image disguised in Prada... then she blinks some and cries
Leaving the scene of the crime, but with a higher meaning of life
With value in people that night that Alice can now see with her eyes

Season 11 XIWK III

XI WK III: Pharaohs Army (0-0) vs. symetrik (0-0)
XI WK III: Eviction (1-1) vs. Master Rock (1-1)
XI WK III: Pent uP (0-0) vs. dead man (0-0)
XI WK III: sral (2-0) vs. brokenhal0 (2-0)
XI WK III: MMLP (2-0) vs. Ender (0-0)
XI WK III: Scar (0-2) vs. Dominate (0-2)
XI WK III: Dope girl (0-1) vs. Mike Wrecka (0-0)
XI WK III: Quill (1-1) vs. NYCSPITZ (1-1)
XI WK III: Inno (0-0) vs. timeless (0-0)
XI WK III: H4ZE (0-0) vs. MaCe (0-0)
XI WK III: Cereal (2-0) vs. Civil Rawr xD (0-2)
XI WK III: Adverse (1-1) vs. Mr. J (0-2)
XI WK III: Universe (2-0) vs. Frank (0-0)

[Civil Rawr xD]

Good work

[Frank]

I need a couple guys moving forward to assist me with these magazines. Whoever wants to submit something for the Season XI Theme: Feel Free! Anything Wrestler/Writer related works. I know we have some fans in the house who can contribute to the culture: Time to push the envelope!

[Cereal]

dope

[brokenhal0]

thanks for the feed

[Frank]

[Adverse]

Mr. J couldn’t beat my uninspired ass if he switched his consciousness with dead man’s and got cybernetic enhancements. Keep dreaming!

Thanks for mag

[Frank]

[Cereal]

omg i just clicked on the xmas clip fell in love happy night before christmas to all of new york and the hip hop community from australia..

yall created your own xmas guys.. i love yall so much..

i loved the poetry of charles dickons part.. dope

[Pharaohs Army]

@Frank
Late Week III No-show Feed:

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152255
@Master Rock
I've pegged this one as decent by your standards. Not great, but not bad...You start out with such velvety and, at times, complex rhyme schemes then follow it up with a few dare I say "pedestrian" schemes:
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place
where I sit... is my space,
I have been searching for grace
but she doesn't seem to acknowledge my face
Contrast with the opening lines...just don't hit nearly AS hard as the opener.
sign of a numb feeling I display emptiness because none I'm feeling
Again, lazy wording at the end hurts the "impact" of the lines a bit.

Really enjoyed most of the rest though!... Don't worry, just nitpicking/Motivating you for next week - when I hope you bring one of your better ones VS. someone who shows...


http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152256
@Scar
Strong opener... good language/verbiage being used
Adjusting to ways. Civilian life was but a memory away
Great descriptive line.
Really liked almost all of this. Closer would be my only knock, in that it seems an abrupt/concrete "Jolt" to the reader, of real-life closure of what's happening... Perhaps that is your intention, I just thought it took a tiny bit away of what was otherwise a nice and at times more abstract piece...
I did notice that this piece was a bit different than some of your others, which often have developed characters and dialogue. It's good to switch it up sometimes, so I thought it refreshing.. Nice. Hope you get an opponent next week.

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152254
@Adverse
Thought the first stanza was by far the best. Not saying the second was bad I just thought it was a little less impactful and started with a difficult/tough rhyme IMO.
Revealer third stanza (even tho you hint @it b4hand) is a LITTLE cliche, with the Musk angle but I think you pulled it off OK, tbh.
All in all, a nice take. For the standards I have of you it's only a 6 or 7 out of 10...but it was still worth the read, for sure. Nice. Hope you get an opponent next week.

[Frank]

[Universe]

[Frank]