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Old 01-07-2022, 08:18 AM   #1
asylum
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Default shifting states

lets get off the beaten path skydiving into tractor beams
planting fields with magic beans in fractured dreams
snapshots im capturing for the furthering of legend
of twisted deep infernos forever churning in their remnants
precision made pistons fire on the blood of gifted apes
mystic shapes existence paints has shifting faces
they gaze in misty mountains that open to a cave
you dive deep within a chasm closing right behind your legs
as time begins to slow it meets the crux of spinning atoms
spirals bend in tandum helixes that flex with grinning phantoms
the flicker of a halo starts to form above the scene
vacuuming the essence it compresses to a seed
a black moth appears above it flying off to breed
off to the intended harbor of its genes
farmers market of a dream where the beast peddles its eggs
chickens hatching in quantum entanglements of legs
this centipede weaves central themes throughout spaces of time
divinely crafting ageless webs where legends age like wine
near mountain tops where Zeus still lives in anvils made of clouds
lightning strikes display his anger booming thunder raining down
Thors hammer makes this sound in the forging of four blades
meant to slaughter a foreign army that's swarming over banks
meeting the force with all his rage slicing through their ranks
a berserker wields an axe bleeding from his eyes
double edges splitting waves of men in half eating them alive
fleeing from demise past a four armed soldier standing on his ground
each hand holding kukris pointing up and pointing down
the berzerker hears a spark ignite gas rising from beneath
and he charges frothing at the mouth cracking all his teeth
in a fountain of fire two blades cross the axes shaft
as the others chop his legs off before slicing him in half
yellow eyes appear before him and rise up in looming walls
and the air around him hisses as the mutant just dissolves
turning into a cloud of smoke that reappears on a shore
filled with bloating corpses on pyres all waiting for his torch
lighting the tinder purges his brothers of their loss
before he turns into a giant raven flying further on to God
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Old 01-07-2022, 09:52 PM   #2
Pharaohs Army
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Default

Very impressive Pat.

For the record I enjoyed this much more than some of your Hell Volumes.

Reason being, I thought this displayed your technical prowess.

Beginning the next line with a rhyme from the last, impressive syllable matching and flow, quality imagery, interesting phraseology and intriguing subject matter.

Overall a very quality drop from a veteran and I knew you had it in you.
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Old 01-07-2022, 10:34 PM   #3
asylum
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thanks bro. appreciate the feed.
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Old 02-14-2023, 12:32 AM   #4
Pharaohs Army
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@asylum
NEW 2023 edit: "intriguing subject matter"* AND Good story/narrative @ the ending part..

Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 02-16-2023 at 10:53 PM.
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