WEEK EIGHT: MIKE WRECKA (0-1) vs CANDY (2-5) MIKE WINS 4-0

[Adverse]

AOWL Season X WEEK EIGHT


@Mike Wrecka @Candy

Verse Due: FRIDAY MAY 27TH @ 11:59PM

Line min: 10

Max: 40


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

Topic:






GOOD LUCK

[Candy]

check g/l

[Candy]

To Live And Die In Reach of Gold
..

A journal unfolds murmurs to mumbles
Soft like the fur from a bumble bee's flutters
A butterfly effect of born character
From a Prince as he towers the chapter
He blinks in rapid R.E.M stasis
Turn page after page churning crayon's faceless
Plotting and blotting shards of shades
In waves of forgotten memories of change
He ponders on a young Princess bride
Her pastel smell that fills the room she supplies
He puts his nose in the pages breathes death
Projects every step like a new born blessed
He crawls in catacombs, calls in seashells
Bewitches mermaids, slaves the beat well
Unmounting each paper plane like a bird
Channeling through planets like his mecury turned
..
An mc of the forgotten era - bound
To what was once his childhouse of lost sounds
A playground of stunts when he was just a runt
Even uneven grunts of his not much, gather as such

Who was to know one day he would be heard
From gods and back all the peoples "words"
They listened for what was never more
What's sure shakespearen in galore
The raw emotions from his barbershop blues
To his faded hues on his swayed shoes
To the dusty old paper its printed on..

to his final word after each sentence "PEROID"
but what if there was one more drip in his tipped crayon
what if there was wit at the end of his passion
through babylon and beyond babble he passes on..

the story of a lifetime sung in an orchestra of love

so......
now the days have past and his book of rhymes still sits on the shelf

i wonder - as a princess
did anyone ever look at the negatives of such a world..

as i slowly sniff the decay spreading where it was hurled...

hmm yum it taste like a peach..

[Mike Wrecka]

alone in the universe, surrounded by things,
enveloped by silence, and the sound that it brings ,
created my own galaxy, crowned as a king,
but my pattern is like Saturn, bound by a ring
loneliness is the only emotion I feel ,
as I support this orbit, like the spokes on a wheel,
in the vacuum of space, it’s harder to breath,
a house devoid of life, makes me farther retreat,
into this suit , all my senses are numb,
to some, I might seem defenseless and dumb ,
but im the inventor, and at the centers my son,
So I can never leave , or potentially run,
the lunar cycle is hard, harder than it seems,
at night no wife, just me and the stars on a screen ,
this is my partners routine , I’m coming apart at the seams ,
everything that would be is broken, a carpenters dream,
but the fabric of my reality is beyond repair,
no gravitational pull , no bond is there,
and I’m far from scared , for it all to end,
life like this doesn’t exist, so why pretend,
but like I said I’m stuck, even if I sprouted some wings,
I’d still be alone in the universe, surrounded by things

[NYCSPITZ]

Candy I liked your verse at times despite the convoluted grammatical compositions but here we go with some weird abstract coming of age sexuality piece again. It gets old quick. Crayons are dicks, girls having more periods, woah I’m brand new to eating chicks out and her pussy tastes like a peach!! That’s like, some strange obsession you have, dawg. Seems unhealthy to be honest. can you write about something else please…

Mike wrecka piece was dope strong close but the quartet of bars after the carpenter line fell off a bit for me. Everything before that was dope. Opening section was the strongest part imo, and I liked how u brought it full circle from first line to last line like that. Looking forward to battling u later on this seaz bro…

V/ mike wrecka

[timeless]

Candy,

I read this 3 times. I just don't know anymore man. You need to read more, develop a style of your own but that starts at actually realising that you need to stick to a subject. Its like any type of sports theres a gameplan and you go for it. Find your playbook. You shouldve wrote about james and the giant peach.

Mike wrecka,

I thought for sure candy might upend you here with a potential of rust shining through on your end. Tbh i loved how simple it was and it just read so clean. The rhymes were on par with mr. Rust but its all good, you made up for it in more than enough ways. "Everything that would be is broken, a carpenters dream." Solid execution sir. Short and sweet a sort of cimmerian style.

V. M.W.

[brokenhal0]

candy - just keep writing this shit is that surreal real unreal reel reeling you in
like fucking sweet tarts dipped in acid makes sense to me? sure it does ..is it cool i think so

mike wrecka - perfectly executed smooth cypher verse obvious veteran skill on display like break dancing on the beat as tight and sleek as it was i felt like u held back a bit still a work of excellent execution

vote - candy - why you ask cause the shits weird and allegorically the fall or some shit

[Adverse]

Candy - kind of the same song and dance this week from you family. At times I thought you were starting to break through and develop a dope concept, just like NYC was saying it kind of devolves into more of the same, exactly what we expect to see from you. I’d like to see some variety man, like you started with this week but then an actual commitment to a change of narrative

Wrecka - this was super simple IMO nothing really stood out but it was all coherent and was a smooth ride through and through. Read more like a poem here that may have been because of the shorter bars and straight to the facts context. Still thought this was ambiguous enough to satisfy readers but still safe enough to not travel too far from your comfort zone. Good work

Vote - Mike more consistent and just a better piece in general