WEEK 11: Scar (4-2) vs Artifice (2-2) ART WINS

[Inno]

GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE

@MMLP @Johnny 6 feet


Max line: 30

Min: 10

Check in: 48 hours after thread post

DUE DATE: JUNE 24TH @ 11:59PM EST


Topic:

“The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

GOOD LUCK

[Artifice]

check

[Scar]

check

[Artifice]

from “God is Dead” such oddness led careful consideration
then “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” published for further elucidation
his philosophical view approached a near-impossible nexus
with his genius script for an ironic twist on theological ethics
this prose composed of parables all spoken through a deity
attempting to inform those born in normalcy and laity
an analysis of antics caused by current ape-descendants
an attempt to vanish all the rules of our current shaped acceptance
the either/or that isn't even born fuses fools to fallacy
while visions of knowledge pass paradoxes of its untrue duality
one must learn that bright ideas illuminate the darkness
& easiness enters only after it's hurdled through the hardness
a treatise of biblical treachery, a peace born out of violence
full of hard to acquire lessons learned from listened sounds of silence
so learn to love your enemies & to even hate your friends
& transform into an ubermensch... reaching Nietzsche's fateful end

[Scar]

"Sonnet and Limerick"

The window appeared cracked last night
Smiling a crooked grin, hiding in the shade
Visible only as the moon hit it’s frame
Shimmering like an ocean in the light
The street lamp looked crooked this evening
Bent out of shape, reaching for something
It’s slender neck stretching for nothing
Metal embraced wood, a mixture of meaning
The dance. The walts. The winding ways
The dead end road continues for miles
Until the path is beaten to the brink
The garden was ravaged today
The park was absent of smiles
Today the well was not well enough to drink

She was picture perfect in her frame
Sequin stem and petal, a rose by any name
But she came with thorns
Her eyes forlorn
Though our stories were plotted the same

[Universe]

Artifice:

This is probably your most technically sound piece yet. Flow was great, multi's were impressive - everything worked. I liked how you built the verse around theories of Nietzsche as well, ending with "the overman" reference. It's a clever way to attack a topic that is just a quote - write loosely about the person who was actually quoted. I liked it.

Highlights:

"his philosophical view approached a near-impossible nexus
with his genius script for an ironic twist on theological ethics"

- dope.

"the either/or that isn't even born fuses fools to fallacy
while visions of knowledge pass paradoxes of its untrue duality"

"a treatise of biblical treachery, a peace born out of violence
full of hard to acquire lessons learned from listened sounds of silence"

Great job on this topic, Artifice.


Scar:

Okay... this was more of a poetic view from you than what I'm used to seeing. Reminds me if an Inno verse a little. Scattered rhyme schemes that connect loosely in different lines - It works but to me this was a fairly jarring drop off from what I expect from you usually.

What happened to the Scar that came in and wrecked shop all the way to the title? Where is that guy? It just doesnt seem like you're really trying - you used to have so much depth and thought in each verse, I literally thought "this guy is going to run the table and never lose..." but I'm not sure what happened after our battle my man. It's not the same Scar. It's been a steady drop off unfortunately. If I'm being harsh its because I love ya man, I want the killer back that destroyed everybody.

Give me, US, that guy come playoffs please. Leave THIS guy where you found him. This isnt a "bad" verse by any means, it's just you're so so so much better...

Vote - Artifice

[Johnny 6 feet]

Artifice- A flex indeed. This piece was a tribute to high thinking musings which you brought to life with complex vocab and a strong rhyme scheme which helped the flow along nicely. Would've been nice to see this go a little longer but the said a lot within the short piece:

'one must learn that bright ideas illuminate the darkness'

My favourite line of the verse. A simple statement, but loaded with truth. You brought the whole thing around to the quote at the end neatly to finish the piece. No wasted effort here. Good stuff.

Scar- A sonnet and a limerick, like ronseal, it did what it says on the tin. While the imagery you used was polished and easy to visualise and conveyed a deeper meaning that had me re-read the piece a few times to search for; it didn't connect much to the quote for me. As a stand alone poetry piece this was really nice. In the context of the battle I felt this fell a little short. Rhyme wise it was original (or rather, so old school it comes back around new) but it hiccuped the flow in places. You definitely got a lot of skill as a writer.

Vote- Artifice, better tech and more on topic.

[symetrik]

Artifice - hard for my read-through to stay on a flow, which I am heavily biased towards :P some janky vocab intermixed within an otherwise solid lexicon, so that threw me as well. I think it did a good job tying to the topic, albeit a bit too abstractly. decent piece.

Scar - didn't connect to the topic. loved the first piece ("sonnet"), it was simple, elegant, and set an absolutely great scene, couldn't stay on the "limerick" due to the falling off of anapest. wish they connected better, or that the simplicity and flow of the first half was kept for the second.

scar's first half elicited far greater emotional connectivity, but I'm not seeing a connection to the topic, so that edges it to Artifice for me. if the limerick had connected to the first half and been on flow's point, it wouldn't have had to connect to the topic to edge this back to scar.

mvgt - Artifice

[Adverse]

Art - Seems like you've finally shaken your rust off and have returned to form. I liked the direction you took it, a super technical approach and tied it to the topic. Was a nice verse and I liked the idea of the "darkest ideas illuminating the darkness" that's just poetry in motion.

Scar - I liked your verse man and I loved the imagery throughout, you painted a marvelous scene and it was like art jumping off of the canvas. It popped! But i think you lost direction storywise? You definitely caught my attention much more than your opponent's verse but I was just lost at the subject matter. Good verse man but I agree we've seen you do much better!

V - Artifice I think he had a better grasp on the topic and was super efficient from a technical standpoint, twas enough to earn him the W

[Adverse]

ART WINS 4-0