Un-beautiful Life

[Pharaohs Army]

Originally Posted by White Earl

Would sell his soul if he could change the past
And a few of these mistakes made over a taste of ass
Face the facts, its one of those funnier days he's had
Raised his glass, drank until the pain was trashed
A brainiac, who stays stuck in his head for days
His time bombs tickin over these beds he's made
A bitchs feminine ways creates his fetish for hate
If he'd of let'er be he'd be a lot better today
brought a baby in the world and ain't know for a year
The paternity test results what he totally fears
Choked on his tears, mixed in with so many beers
Over a daughter in his life he ain't know would appear
Coke on the mirror, tryina make his thoughts escape
Talks insane, afraid his fucking life's been tossed away
Another baby on his plate, what she cost to raise
scratchin his head, to late for that abortion rate
She tells him..

i dont fucking need you dad
i just love these needle tracks
don't know what it means to laugh
means to cry, or the reasons why people lie
my comfort is being high
this is how i equalize, this is how i equalize

But the kid ain't mean to ruin his night
All she came here to do is live her own beautiful life
She grew up despite the hate and despair
And laughs when people say her life isn't as crazy as thiers
At a young age wanted to run from the storm
And away from her parents who fought just because she was born
Looked at the pouring rain, afraid, tired of being a burden
Feeling the pain, how much could fucking be in one person!?
Her demons were perfect, the curses, and the blood in her veins
Her fathers addictions, and mothers would uncover her fate
The steps she would take to avoid the feelings she fought
The feelings of fault, that caused her world to really dissolve
building a vault, concealiing the thoughts she wouldn't share
Cause it was easier to hide, then to find people who cared
Scared, seemed like people were scarce, and nature would hit
Like a brick -she gets high, calls it the only way to exist
Shes like...

i dont fucking need you dad
i just love these needle tracks
don't know what it means to laugh
means to cry, or the reasons why people lie
my comfort is being high
this is how i equalize, this is how i equalize

Met the world at the peek of her highs, she cried
Cause a drug abusive life's one of the weakest designs
Peoples decline, the hypodermic needles, the crime
The creature inside, that let'er know'er dreams weren't alive
but she's just a product of whats broken at heart
so many scars, from battles she fought cause her folks were apart
nobodies fault but her own -right? nah, fuck that!!!
who's fault was it when she wanted to know where the loves at
s'why she found out quick where the dopes and the drugs at
learned the ropes as a rugrat cause her dad openly does that
a young waste of youth, s'what it is when you face the truth
turn the volume down, so loud she couldn't face the music
headaches, excuses, to catch cases, using, basing, boozing
brace for the news when she od's off her favorite amusement
this is just a taste of the future, can't let it advance
But she's young and loves the drugs, instead of her parents
Singing..

i dont fucking need you dad
i just love these needle tracks
don't know what it means to laugh
means to cry, or the reasons why people lie
my comfort is being high
this is how i equalize, this is how i equalize

ridiculous hook man…that’s a compliment.
Edit* and exceptionally strong ending. I think the ending before the final hook is sick: (final 2/3rds of final stanza) a strong closing which I find is rare with myself and many other writings. You saved the best for last.*

here's some ammo for battlerz i guess (or some details for discord)

Altho Geno is short for Genocide, I pronounce it twice here with a hard ‘e’ : jeeno. Just always have.
————-
yO.
I got no feed.*Got nobody ta hold me. (If-this-is-so-emotional&drugs-r-bad)why-did readingthis-make-me-want-some CODEINE?
Oh; please.
Like evry1-young my whole team used to smoke trees.
I never outgrew it. Now I'm 39 & my lungs fill with fluid.
What's another "half-cig" Geno?! Two decades of abuse, yeah - it'd add up to "Kilos".
Maybe it's part of my ego. I'm a people-person(&)don' even need drugs to deal w/ people. [but it helps]
Addictive personality, whether or not Mom or Dad are mad@me.
If I ever "shot H", it'd be a catastrophe:
Prolly dead by the second cop (I'd like it so much)...Then it's just a eulogy --no similes wordplays or analogies.
...Thus I'd love to snort it Once to try -- I wouldn't die. But my addict uncle had the discipline not-to-bring-me in his LIFE:
Said "one time" is all it takes to change your brain. (so it's never the same)
He lives a lonely life but he mitigates his pain.
I'm a motherfucking 24/7 dopamine Fiend.
In order to function I try to keep (it) to alcohol, weed,"nic", &caffeine,
Two minor shroom tripz 'dis year -- deala' threw a choc'late in-for-free, as if he had to Ask me. [woops just used that rhyme recently]
Don't forget masturbation 'n sex if I'm lucky:
Too bad it's my drunk Ex - that I'm fucking,
The same one I chose drugs over when she said that she loved me.
Decent childhood; no excuses.
Uncle Howie syndrome:.."drugs&music".
Yea "faro it's just soft drugs"....mm. don't confuse it:
'nough old vomit on my back stoop u'd think I'd stop the using.
Na, haha, empty stomach: let's grab (edibles&)that hard(er) lemonAde.
Takes wayyy too much beer for me so I do it for the taste.
Never lived up to my potential - my life's a fucking waste.
Few articles to send to "mags"? If I ever organized they might (jus',) publish w/ haste.
Too bad I'm in a (fucking) haze, browsing netcees for days, "set off" by a leg'ndary peer who put me in my place. (.said I was a disgrace.)
Sorry for the journal-Geno...
Guess it's the best compliment,that yer Words made me feel. Yo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYf6ifx7Z6w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4snEv1NwaYc