Have you ever killed a man?

[Diablo]

Have you ever killed a man?
I have.
The sense of power is immense
as your fingers wrap around while compressing down on his neck.
You hear the sound of each breath being drawn as the pulsing increases
during their last struggle for freedom before the suffering eases.
For some it’s immediate.
A welcome escape from the hell that they’ve faced.
For others the realisation they aren’t ready to face death comes too late.
I see it etched in their vacant expression as numbness arrives
and the pigment runs from their eyes until they’re only coloured surprised.
The throat muscles then tighten beneath my insufferable grip
its sudden constriction startles throbbing veins under the skin.
The bulge of each ridge provides a roadmap to the targets oesophagus
as my palm applies constant pressure and starves them of oxygen.
There’s a gargle of nondescript noise beginning to surface
and eyelids flicker determinedly before a final twitch then confirms it.
I did it.
I murdered the man that I used to be.
The past me refused to believe in himself or stand up to scrutiny.
It was only after the human beings physical form
slipped from this mortal coil that I could begin living at all.
I would sit in the corners of his mind endlessly fed
by the negative energy and self-doubt that entered his head.
It kept me sequestered in secrecy while I’d eat him alive
to feed off his primal fears, consuming him one piece at a time.
He would hear me inside his head.
An eerily quiet yet notable noise
until I had grown to the point that so did my voice.
I spoke with a poison that dripped from every word I could muster
turning his vulnerability into a means to further my hunger.
I grew more assertive the longer he chose to ignore me —
My words echoed through the haunting empty void loneliness brought him.
Until I broke the subordinates resolve and forced him to answer
as in order to manifest, I had to build rapport with my captor.
The ordeal had dampened his spirits which allowed me to thrive
growing louder inside as I hounded while driving him out of his mind.
The coward had tried convincing himself he could do it alone
I knew when the moment came he wouldn’t go through with it though.
So I used his emotional frailty to help leverage the lie
that ending his life would also bring about my eventual demise.
The deafening silence spoke volumes.
I had him convinced.
It didn’t matter to him whether he died so much as the fact that I did.
I uncharacteristically amped up the pitch that I spoke with
the sudden switch in my vocalisation giving him motive.
I quickened my tone in a further attempt to hasten more urgency
playing him perfectly as he was fooled by my false state of emergency.
I wait til the murders been confirmed before I surface again
in search of my next victim, yet I exist in every person you’ve met.
If you’re on the verge of depression, then for your own mental health
don’t simply dwell on the present — Go kill yourself.



Yours sincerely,
Depression

[Objective]

Great characterization of depression and personifying it. Good shit, enjoyed the read despite being dark af, its honest and brutal depiction of what depression can do did justice to the topic you chose.

[Witty]

I predicted the 'twist', for lack of a better word, from seemingly describing the murder of someone else to a battle against mental illness. I'd like to start by saying that your description of the murder taking place was very very impressive. It was vivid, I could see it. You also only said what you needed to, a lot of writers would have continued to beat us over the head with redundant imagery for another 10 lines. I've been guilty of that. As I've aged I've started to appreciate the art of brevity.

I don't think you needed such a pronounced twist. Maybe the topical writer in you couldn't help it or you (subconsciously or otherwise) didn't trust the reader to get there through subtlety. Again, I've been guilty of both. Regardless, your description of mental illness opened up a very real side to you that we would never get from your stories. Only someone who has been fighting against themselves would have been able to write this. Only someone who has lived this, and killed who they used to be, could ever find the words you found. It would be impossible to write this without experiencing it and I'm very sorry you have but I'm very glad you created this. I loved it brother.