08-08-2015, 06:30 AM | #1 |
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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fortune cookie
radiant royal rose cardinal appearance emergence
of the oversoul no longer burdened by spirits my parents couldn't control karmic equations get solved in astral stations my heart pumps gold no more palpitations from eating cargo shipped parts starved goats and lamb legs as a man begs another grams weighed hand to hand played fast cash in the fast lane your judgements are your own catch me catchin tantrums over a cordless phone your currency is land based you spam ham shaped sweet as a flan cake my fortune cookie read cut the damn breaks and hit the pedal to the floor instagram thugs get depressed the material world isnt excessive anymore and rub it in my face i hope you get a taste of all that rots so you dont quit it late it's basic and my predatory instinct is jason chasin you threw crystal lake set my mission straight the nightmare that keeps your kids awake is a fairytale fear fails to set the wick a blaze kundalini raise like smoke when a dope spoon hits the flames wearing a coyote skin huntin by moonlight ninja shoes the type shinobis in...my only friend a mescaline ***tus that shows me djinns comedy is humor thats human laughter is great but now your the punchline assuming i cant master my faith divine union disaster im just a master that baits ejaculating reality all over your lifes a bitch face..... Last edited by brokenhal0; 08-25-2015 at 06:00 AM. |
08-11-2015, 01:15 AM | #2 |
The COAT...
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
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The first line didnt really mean anything. Was like you wrote it to sound cool but showed little attention to the meaning behind it. Next couple lines to me seemed a bit disjointed. You have some storytelling going on but its interrupted by random bits of info. Some of the references were neat but you need to do a better job relating them to where you want to go with the story. You worded some lines very nicely, for instance the instagram thug line. Others not so much though. Thought the Kundalini line onwards was dope, one of my fav sections.
Overall, had some strong sections but was overall very inconsistent. Got the building blocks, just have to arrange them properly.
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08-25-2015, 05:51 AM | #3 | |
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 490
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Quote:
i see its a bit allegorical and symbolic def more personal then anything... radiant royal rose cardinal appearance ? a Rosicrucian symbol a rose blossoms in a distinct special way ...also compass rose as a navigation of my souls cardinal directions....i become radiant ... emergence of the oversoul no longer burdened by spirits? i stop letting illusory thoughts control me and stand over my self seeing threw my higher mind not ego...well im working on it lol.... that my parents couldn't control ? this is to say to make right the wrongs problems that my parents couldn't correct and created onto me.... Last edited by brokenhal0; 08-25-2015 at 06:03 AM. |
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08-26-2015, 02:58 PM | #4 |
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 12
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This is dope... love the wordplay just seemed unfocused but most freewrites/braggadocio scripts are so I'll take it how it is..
yo that last part was redicc.. so was this just to randomly quote sumthin "my heart pumps gold no more palpitations from eating cargo shipped parts" |
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