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Old 08-08-2015, 06:30 AM   #1
brokenhal0
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radiant royal rose cardinal appearance emergence
of the oversoul no longer burdened by spirits
my parents couldn't control
karmic equations get solved in astral stations
my heart pumps gold
no more palpitations from eating cargo shipped parts
starved goats and lamb legs as a man begs
another grams weighed
hand to hand played fast cash in the fast lane
your judgements are your own
catch me catchin tantrums over a cordless phone
your currency is land based you spam ham shaped
sweet as a flan cake
my fortune cookie read cut the damn breaks
and hit the pedal to the floor
instagram thugs get depressed the material world isnt excessive anymore
and rub it in my face i hope you get a taste of all that rots so you dont quit it late
it's basic and my predatory instinct is jason chasin you threw crystal lake
set my mission straight the nightmare that keeps your kids awake is a fairytale
fear fails to set the wick a blaze kundalini raise
like smoke when a dope spoon hits the flames
wearing a coyote skin huntin by moonlight
ninja shoes the type shinobis in...my only friend
a mescaline ***tus that shows me djinns


comedy is humor thats human laughter is great
but now your the punchline assuming i cant master my faith
divine union disaster im just a master that baits ejaculating
reality all over your lifes a bitch face.....

Last edited by brokenhal0; 08-25-2015 at 06:00 AM.
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Old 08-11-2015, 01:15 AM   #2
Nigma
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The first line didnt really mean anything. Was like you wrote it to sound cool but showed little attention to the meaning behind it. Next couple lines to me seemed a bit disjointed. You have some storytelling going on but its interrupted by random bits of info. Some of the references were neat but you need to do a better job relating them to where you want to go with the story. You worded some lines very nicely, for instance the instagram thug line. Others not so much though. Thought the Kundalini line onwards was dope, one of my fav sections.

Overall, had some strong sections but was overall very inconsistent. Got the building blocks, just have to arrange them properly.
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Old 08-25-2015, 05:51 AM   #3
brokenhal0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nigma View Post
The first line didnt really mean anything. Was like you wrote it to sound cool but showed little attention to the meaning behind it..

i see its a bit allegorical and symbolic def more personal then anything...



radiant royal rose cardinal appearance ? a Rosicrucian symbol a rose blossoms in a distinct special way ...also compass rose as a navigation of my souls cardinal directions....i become radiant ...

emergence of the oversoul no longer burdened by spirits?
i stop letting illusory thoughts control me and stand over my self seeing threw my higher mind not ego...well im working on it lol....


that my parents couldn't control ?

this is to say to make right the wrongs problems that my parents couldn't correct and created onto me....

Last edited by brokenhal0; 08-25-2015 at 06:03 AM.
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Old 08-26-2015, 02:58 PM   #4
Blaccalicious
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This is dope... love the wordplay just seemed unfocused but most freewrites/braggadocio scripts are so I'll take it how it is..

yo that last part was redicc..

so was this just to randomly quote sumthin

"my heart pumps gold
no more palpitations from eating cargo shipped parts"
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