March review for netcees.com OM section

[zygote]

March review for www.netcees.co Open Mic section.

Greetings all members, this is a short effort to highlight and review some of the uploads for March. Uploads were chosen for the short review by just a random cross section along with some individually chosen uploads. Again, like the last review it will follow a copy and paste template and just a sample of perhaps 20 or so will be reviewed. The format is; Username: “Title” URL – date.

Cross section of uploads for March/April:

@Nigma : “When the Grey Mist Lands” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=58718 - 03-13-2014

“Above me, my son Abe is asking, pa pa, why’d you stay? You sat and
Lasted eight years to the day, in fact, Potato Famine taints your land
What Abe don’t grasp, theres ways which we could stay, adapt
Grew a kid of labour, trained to trap. Lay them down in blades of grass”

Short review: Fucking atrocious. Worse than atrocious. Atrocious doesn’t even begin to describe this atrocity. You have orchestrated a mass writing genocide, an ethnic cleansing of language. Everyone should read about two sentences and then just press the exit button on the page.

@H4ZE : “Darkness At Noon” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=56252 - 03-01-2014

“Weeping, screaming, suicide, that's the state at the moment
The sky is grey, getting darker, and I gaze at it frozen
Every thing tried is hopeless, there's no way to escape
Noon is the time when every one is facing their fate”

Short review: Oh wow. Bad. This was not just merely bad, or slightly bad or even a little bit bad. This was worse than bad. Bad on a whole new level. Very bad, extremely bad, it was grossly bad. You make me feel nihilistic.

@Rawn MD : “Same as Before...” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=60990 - 03-23-2014

“Find me a middle man...
I got young gunners who'd kill for a little bread to get ahead
A crooked ass criminal at his pinnacle, with past acquittals in the feds
Keep my eyes low, behind those rose prada nickel plated lens”

Short review: Words cannot even fathom this. It makes a crayon finger-painting look like a renaissance work of high art and culture. Why would you even bother?

@Eŋg : “sprung” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=59702 - 03-17-2014

“numb; asleep on a sprung settee,
I pulled on a string that spun a dream,
Of white and black - but the scene
Needed apt colouring,
The pen and pad’s buggin' me,
I’m trapped under sheets, black cover-chiefs”

Short review: You are scraping the bottom of the barrel so hard that you turned it into an open cylinder. I want to know what your mental age is. Judging by this rudimentary effort, perhaps it is around 5 or 6 years old. Actually, that would be an insult to every good-natured little Billy and Jane out there who writes about their pet dog ending with ‘it was all just a dream.’ Your mental age is foetal alcohol syndrome.

@Certain : “Tomorrow is gravid.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=57469 - 03-07-2014

“So I walked into my mechanic's the other day for a token oil change,
and I said — I said, "Mike, I think I've got a broken coil spring.
Can you check the suspension?"
Now I had his attention.
"What made you think you got something like that? It could start in the engine."

Short review: The focus was on a singularly bland and forgettable main character. It was like watching paint dry on slowly growing grass - a cure for insomnia. That character was so boring, so mundane, so uninspiring, so devoid of life or any modicum of personality that it became strangely interesting. I’ll assume it was autobiographical.

@Saila : “Living The Pipe Dream” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=56646 - 03-03-2014

“The trap is set, it's time for them to lead the way with blazing guns
with Peach as bait, Luigi stayed, concealed, in wait to take the plunge
he'd raid the front.. his brother watched the rear incase the soldiers got thru
gawping at the slaughtered corpses weirdly lay near molten rock pools”

Short review: There are not enough adjectives in existence to sufficiently capture the multitude of ways that I despised reading this. Guantanamo Bay couldn’t devise a more effective form of torture.

@Zenland “umm..?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=56620 - 03-03-2014

“lazy, lackadaisical. lately im halfly capable to maintain a crafty fable. instead, insane, happily contained and actually faithful to what's happening on facebook. a savage week of master peace smoking bags of weed. hopeless. average. weak. moments flash in scenes, motions, dragging feet.”

Short review: In the words of Shakespeare - “Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Gautama would be spinning on his prayer wheel.

@Just Write : “Tommy da Gawd (pt 1)” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=42164 - 03-09-2014

“It seemed to be just another regular day at the office
Taylor clicked in on line one., "Tom, you'll be late for the conference,
Greg's impatient's is monstrous, so you'd better get going
All our asses are on the line so it's best to make a good showing.””

Short review: Why do you hate liberalist values? Liberty, fraternity and equality are all put to the sword with equal aplomb within this consumerist, communist piece of propaganda. Drivel and pure tripe. You represent the ill will associated with this so-called “Generation Next.” As long as it flashes and beeps and can fit in your pocket, you’d trade away all of Democracy for it. I’m a flag waving patriot and you make me hate freedom.

@Natural : “Mother Earth Rises” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=60796 - 03-22-2014

“Mother Earth:
I've been neglected, disrespected, used as a lucrative vessel
Polluted, congested, stripped of nutrients on a lunatics level
I've been tested by science, questioned, subjected to violence
I was hijacked by peasants who produce weapons on islands“

Short review: Congratulations for your incompetence. On a website home to the likes of d iasick and Dagel this marks a new low. That’s quite an achievement. I’m being nice here. What you’ve written is infinitely worse than this review makes it out to be.

@Vividlyvague : “Wood.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=56968 - 03-05-2014

“I've created a sentient program that mimics Inuit romance
A sensitive, sensuous Conan that, due to his physical limits, cant hold hands.
Trivial on the skin of the issue, but a limbless individual
faces a residual ridicule, this kind of torment revisits you...”

Short review: Clicking on this hyperlink was like clicking on a hyperlink for big tit amateurs, only to be redirected to a horrifying car crash in slow-motion. This amazed me. How can someone write so badly? You are either a special talent performing some kind of elaborate Kaufman-like joke or a mind-boggling type of imbecile.

@QueenHoney : “Pop champagne (Freestyle)” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=60412 – 03-20-2014

“QueenHoney in town,
what you hurd.
its going down.
A guy see a lady all he do is wanna smash,
don't know how to smash.”

Short review : An insightful and refined analysis into the decay of traditional moral values in modern Western culture. QueenHoney turns a critical gaze towards deconstructing the demonization of kinship, the evolution of classical gender roles, and the changing natures of masculinity and femininity. It was true mastery, a masterful masterclass in the ability to redefine the grotesque archetypes of our times by way of a subtle caricature.

@dead man : “dead man - DELIRIUM” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=60012 - 03-18-2014

“these walls are fluctuating at night
morning-time they wheeze through respirators for life
deerskin shaved for a kite. windswept meadowy lawn
rearranging basic structure into legible song
demonstrable horror. the last house on the left
finger pluck a vital artery straight out of your chest“

Short review: This is an examination of life and death in its most base form. You handled this topic with the grace of a rampaging water-buffalo and butchered any potential it had. It was like performing brain surgery with a hammer. A root canal with a pneumatic drill. It was telling a couple of children that their parents are dead by performing a Broadway musical about it. You managed to stumble onto a half decent idea, but you had neither the ability nor the skill to make it any good.

@oats : “Word?” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6914 - 05-28-2013

“everything is relative, perspective is cluttered
cuz even after feasting you'll be destined to hunger
plus, my resumé will never say I'm better with numbers
so I'm hiding my intentions with each letter I cover”

Short review: An overly contrived rhyme exercise. Bizarre posturing is the only way to describe it. A jumbled and incoherent mess that can’t figure out what it’s trying to do. Anyone who wrote a positive comment on this nonsensical pseudo-philosophy should be ashamed at being part of this debauched clusterfuck of self-congratulatory masturbation by proxy.

@YDK : “half the man i use to be” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=57856 - 03-09-2014

“I'm not half the man I use to be, usually;
I've been used up and stupidly; accepted what ruined me.
Tears fall fluidly when I think about the lunacy
that caused me to fragment mentally from scrutiny!“

Short review: Here you go. I’m going to let you off here, because deep down I think you mean well. This is genuine. It’s from the heart. This is written to you without any bias. Spend the time you spend on this doing something else.

@Lars : “"From Single Cell To Living Hell"” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=58002 – 03-10-2014

“Whether you argue religion conceived us the world that we have
or particle fission as heat and inertia react.
The earth was a mass of violent components
its world uninhabitable by life as we know it.”

Short review: I bet you’re an old Uncle Fergus ass looking motherfucker. Moonshine and roasted hog, pot belly, beer drinking, cousin fucking, ass motherfucker. This so-called ‘story’ just reeks of everything that is wrong with 21st Century America. White privilege and underlying racism seeps out through every hate-filled pore of this post-modern torrent of patronizing and blissful indifference. It is a condescending and ethnically-exploitative piece of xenophobia. Furthermore, it juxtaposes ignorant liberties and culturally-insensitive presumptions at every turn within a deeply prejudiced subtext.

@Le Wise Ways : “Lumber.” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=56986 - 03-05-2014

“Yo I told this cute runner to suck my huge lumber
while I banged her pussyhole with a poop covered cucumber
I'm in a band I play the nude drummer
I always chew cunt first and then swallow the spray
every whore dies inside from hollow decay”

Short review: Vulgar, disgusting, reprehensible. The written text equivalent of snuff-films and gore-porn. Congratulations, you are the Human Centipede of the online netcees community.

@ copypat : “Ether - Instant HOF” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=62262 - 03-29-2014

“I'de drink gatorade than spit on you to make you real sticky. i wouldn't even give you a towel so you would stay real sticky. i'de make you go outside in the winter without a warm coat. i'de sit by the fire and watch you get more cold. i still wouldn't even offer you a wet-nap for that gatorade either. you'de get soooo sticky cause you couldn't get cleaner.”

Short review: You write like a pussywhipped faggot. It read like a critique of heteronormativity and a championing of Queer feminism. Your writing was like a synthesis of radical conservatism mixed with a growing fascination with the LGBT subculture. You are scared of your own “fabulous” shadow. The recurring homoerotic themes in your writing reveal a kind of twisted-Freudian reverse-Oedipal complex where you want to fuck your dad.

@zyg : “SERIAL KILLER CODE AND QUESTION” http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=54498 - 02-21-2014
“See. I look, I watch patiently, I’m hiding, quiet for -
You. I love, I covet innocence, it formed whenI saw -
She. A life, a house, abundance of pretty stuff all -
New. I want a close encounter, an access point, nor –“

Short review : What a strange voting panel. This was voted in 4-1, who was on this panel? An ape, a stick, a dodo, a village idiot and a reasonable person? All I ever have are gimmicks, the level of actual skill is none.

Ending comment/Overall review.

Fuck everyone again. This so-called random cross section method is all false. I pick the best ones every time, so if you weren’t picked it is because you’re bad. Don’t feel too sad about it though, it’s nothing personal, it’s just that you’re not any good. If you didn’t agree with your fully objective and unbiased review it is because you do not understand timezones (it still works as a cross section, click the hyperlinks and see).

[PancakeBrah]

LOL

10/10

[big baby]

yooooooooo LOLOL

[Fig]

Lmfaaoebdudbdllsywcsvsjcndu shzkdkc

[Vulgar]

Repped excessively.

[oats]

Hahaha classic

[Just Write]

Lmao Zygote going in though.

You Australian fuckers got a wild side huh?


I thought you were all peaceful vegetarians.

[Fig]

Is zyg Australian?

The pressure of these mags must've gotten to him

RIP zyg

[Certain]

Originally Posted by zygote

Short review: I bet you’re an old Uncle Fergus ass looking motherfucker. Moonshine and roasted hog, pot belly, beer drinking, cousin fucking, ass motherfucker. This so-called ‘story’ just reeks of everything that is wrong with 21st Century America. White privilege and underlying racism seeps out through every hate-filled pore of this post-modern torrent of patronizing and blissful indifference. It is a condescending and ethnically-exploitative piece of xenophobia. Furthermore, it juxtaposes ignorant liberties and culturally-insensitive presumptions at every turn within a deeply prejudiced subtext.

[Certain]

Dumb @zygote can't even spell Netcees.co.

[Natural]

Fantastic writing.
To bad it is all incorrect.
Perhaps next time.

[Fig]

Way to be a fuckin buzzkill bro

[CopyPat]

Dopeness.

even more so than usual
these are awesome man, everyone loves them

[Wise Wiggles]

thanks! I agree with Zy on everything I read just now.

[e11even]

Copypat lars and certain's were the best feed. Awesome shit. I might actually try to finish a real piece this month coming up.

[Zen]

Lol'd out loud at dg's review.

[dead man]

Lol'd at queen honeys review as well.

Also agreed with some of them lowkey :/

[Baron Mynd]

ROFLZ

Good looking out, Zyg!

[big baby]

Originally Posted by Zenland

Lol'd out loud at dg's review.

you @Just Writes dumb brother lmao ass off

[Zen]

Leave me alone big baby. We're not all born smart.