NBL S17 PRESENTS: THE HELMET BOWL 2023 - Pharaohs Army vs. Master Rock - MR WINS

[Zuo]

Rules

THIS WEEKS MOST EXCLUSIVE BATTLE, WINNER WILL BE CROWNED THE HELMET TITLE AND DEFEND THAT TITLE IN FUTURE HELMET BOWL BATTLES!

Let’s see who has what it takes to take the crown and make it into their own! Good luck to all competitors who have been selected for this years Helmet Bowl, let’s get this show on!!!

Due Dates:
Verses this week are due Thursday and will be open until Sunday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours


Line Limit:
Minimum of 8, maximum of 16
If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first.

Check ins are encouraged but not mandatory. Also, swaying/biting/recycling is a DQ



@Pharaohs Army @Master Rock @Cereal @Dope girl

[Pharaohs Army]

Originally Posted by Zuo

Rules

THIS WEEKS MOST EXCLUSIVE BATTLE, WINNER WILL BE CROWNED THE HELMET TITLE AND DEFEND THAT TITLE IN FUTURE HELMET BOWL BATTLES!

- Thx for the Inclusion and fun/ delicious matchups and encouragement.

- That said, YOU FORGOT TO INCLUDE UR LAME ASS SELF IN THIS MATCHUP AND WOULDA BEEN EVEN BETTER W/ THE ADDITIONAL LOSER.

- BETTER PAY REAL ATTENTION VOTERS ON THIS Cuz Even if Zelph don't expect much out of the top 2 Helmet Heads....They can Rock his world....
Amirite

CHECK

[Pharaohs Army]

@Dope girl
No Thanx on your Quick Collab Track when u whined bout-a no-show on the OM for a friendly hashtag?...
[Lol,]Dat's Ok hun., Whack. Bad.. ?Can write a 9line repet. poem but likely can't rap.
Love letter to ur mom; or reminisce 'bout yor hood gurls doin' braids & handstands [in your youth] (bad grammar)
Yea:: hopscotch for me az a lad, was bball w/ tha boyz
Was prolly better thn ur (likely) deceased brother...n giv u more love, and conceptual "toys....emcee is my roy. \Ur a littl chunky &look like a dyke.
I'll still h.y,u., - ur love letterz - they not bad hun; just'a Battle.......SIKE!~

@Cereal
Stupid Wizord of OZ: 2ID/2Site Troll dropping effort only 35%, of the time.
Your topicals are nothing to speak of, other than the occasional rhyme.
Stop wasting my time!!...lol..."Ego-less" Hall 'a Leaves in ur PMs give(s) you props for a verse on Zelf?
Forget it. This 15 will TEACH U BATTLE..IF I HAVE TO MYSELF (like i did in the topical realm)..w/ my various spells which r better than ur !corny phonetic excersize belts.
I exorcise quick Pelts. Winning helmets w/ shell clips
U fell quick when I critiqued ur last vomit atrocious made me wanna sign outta the contest [again]~

@Master Rock
Got nothin' but a 1-line (open) for you. You want me to shuttup & stop droppin' fire remember. Keep tryin'. Ur average enuf to matter.~

Originally Posted by Zuo

RulesOne sided battles may get closed early. Extensions are 24 hours (Rock).

Exact 31 Mins on the KeyEdit @HOL.
<3
Cya Saturday for votes "Real Battlers".~

[Cereal]

yo dude like canibus vs sling.. i got to bow out cause i punched the shit outta my laptop and it bust so i gotta buy a new one and they 5k so its most of my savings so it might take a few weeks months be4 i do do again peace yall gl

[Master Rock]

I chopped it up in Egypt's kitchen clothed as a jackal sacrificing lambs
popped open a can whupping ass on this supposed Pharaoh, frying up his spam
You can't run with me on land or the through sand,
I'm beyond your distance of what your mind can even span
my Exodus plan is parting the sea, across we band,
while your armies swallowed before the strand
I heard your audios..." I'm begging, someone please block this man!"...that's all I can stand
and I can't stands no more...
This must be the same kid who's been licking on doorknobs and humping the floor
this emcee's squared, with personality disorder galore, while Zuck is sucking his teets suckling for more
this kid is everywhere and the reason why the pansies on Netcee's ass is sore
Stop Spamming the board your deteriorating in the present and past tense
All you bring is pathetic verses, I googled you and you're struggling to make AD sense
pocket change, the channel,
the only way you'll be dope girl if you sniff my lines and od cause you can't handle
Robronda the get jacked, I am the vandal, while you seem to be the bust down on the panel,
Cereal you're my brother, and I say this because I care,
can you please scrub the putrid crust stain out of your underwear

[Zuo]

No Thanx on your Quick Collab Track when u whined bout-a no-show on the OM for a friendly hashtag?...
[Lol,]Dat's Ok hun., Whack. Bad.. ?Can write a 9line repet. poem but likely can't rap.
I guess the punch is that she wrote 9 lines instead of 10?
Love letter to ur mom; or reminisce 'bout yor hood gurls doin' braids & handstands [in your youth] (bad grammar)
Yea:: hopscotch for me az a lad, was bball w/ tha boyz
Was prolly better thn ur (likely) deceased brother...n giv u more love, and conceptual "toys....emcee is my roy. \Ur a littl chunky &look like a dyke.
I'll still h.y,u., - ur love letterz - they not bad hun; just'a Battle.......SIKE!~
not sure wtf is happening
@Cereal
Stupid Wizord of OZ: 2ID/2Site Troll dropping effort only 35%, of the time.
Your topicals are nothing to speak of, other than the occasional rhyme.
ok this was decent, has truth in it
Stop wasting my time!!...lol..."Ego-less" Hall 'a Leaves in ur PMs give(s) you props for a verse on Zelf?
Forget it. This 15 will TEACH U BATTLE..IF I HAVE TO MYSELF (like i did in the topical realm)..w/ my various spells which r better than ur !corny phonetic excersize belts.
nah smh
I exorcise quick Pelts. Winning helmets w/ shell clips
U fell quick when I critiqued ur last vomit atrocious made me wanna sign outta the contest [again]~
im not sure you know how to form a bar


Vs


I chopped it up in Egypt's kitchen clothed as a jackal sacrificing lambs
popped open a can whupping ass on this supposed Pharaoh, frying up his spam
at least it’s an attempt
You can't run with me on land or the through sand,
I'm beyond your distance of what your mind can even span
nah
my Exodus plan is parting the sea, across we band,
while your armies swallowed before the strand
I heard your audios..." I'm begging, someone please block this man!"...that's all I can stand
wasn’t sure where the bar ended for a min, this is ok I wish it would end too
and I can't stands no more...
This must be the same kid who's been licking on doorknobs and humping the floor
this emcee's squared, with personality disorder galore, while Zuck is sucking his teets suckling for more
what lol helmet bar
this kid is everywhere and the reason why the pansies on Netcee's ass is sore
Stop Spamming the board your deteriorating in the present and past tense
All you bring is pathetic verses, I googled you and you're struggling to make AD sense
long as fuck but this is actually a decent bar
pocket change, the channel,
the only way you'll be dope girl if you sniff my lines and od cause you can't handle
Robronda the get jacked, I am the vandal, while you seem to be the bust down on the panel,
nah
Cereal you're my brother, and I say this because I care,
can you please scrub the putrid crust stain out of your underwear
lmao so stupid but funny


Pharaoh is for sure Top Helmet because he’s retarded as fuck and a living joke to society. Master Rock had some decent stuff and attempts so he gets the W here.

Vote Master Rock

Pharaohs Army as Top Helmet

[Diablo]

First off, Cereal gets zero respect for his blatant lies about the laptop. It’s completely fictional. And even if it wasn’t, he could have typed up a quick something in here while he was here regardless… he clearly logged in, somehow, and had a chance to make a post. He chose not to. That was his choice. No excuses needed.

PA: You did your research on Robranda, which isn’t a surprise as you read a lot of Open Mic threads. I felt like she was the lowest hanging fruit here yet also the easiest to come at, I thought the random bringing up about her dead brother was a bit harsh as she seems a lovely person (if retarded) but you started talking a lot spicier when it came to Cereal I noticed. You went for him, nothing nice to say, kept it factual and to the point. The directness was an improvement from your love letter in week one here, but you will want something more creative and out-of-box conceptually to really appeal to the text battler heads if you’re going to succeed in the NBL. You’ll note even Zelph said up top that the line was “alright, had some truth to it,” and that’s exactly how I felt with your opening few lines - they were directed specifically at your opponent, but we’re waiting for some sort of misdirection or zinger at the end of the punchline to either make it harsh sounding or comedic for some reason. Use some wordplay if you have to, flip his name into a punchline or a joke, make a mockery of him, clown him so the voters can laugh with you at him. Use the direct observations and then sit on those a short while and try to come up with some concepts for punchlines that apply directly to that opponent. He’s a cereal, he’s a flake, you’ll eat him for breakfast… it’s quite simple to use some sort of word association to link two things like that and formulate the basis for a punchline idea. You need work in this format, for sure, but I think if you apply yourself you’ll get it eventually.


Master Rock: You have a lot of the same things as mentioned above, I think the difficulty you’re both experiencing somewhat is you’re used to the rhyme-dense topical league verse type scenario with a heavier tendency towards flow and rhyme scheme, where over here they want you to be attacking the opposition creatively and rhyme scheme / flow are almost like a secondary thought. They don’t want your lines to be crazily long, but it’s not so big an issue so long as you’re punching consistently and clowning your opponent. This was one was quite tough to vote on, I can’t lie, not a lot in it for me basically and both seemed to be quite evenly matched here but I had Master Rock with the slight edge as he seemed to improve from around the middle through his final third.

[Zuo]

NEEDS VOTES!

@Diablo @Saint @Aero @Barcotic @Wordz AhGod @Defiant @Sinacog @Cereal @Fracture @White LGI @Mac @R!canTheoryz @Unfukwitable @Master Rock @Pepino @MV The Demon @Kill Spree @Cred @DynamiCz @Blue Bayou

[Mac]

I got Master Rock with the better attempts. Looks like he actually tried to form punchlines. although both come from a similar background rock had the better attempts

got rock lee

[Ryno]

Master Rock has the best chance at crossing over to text
PA disses can be so bizarre at times
Like the side bar comments in parenthesis
Rock had better attempts here though

V. Master Rock

[Zuo]

Master Rock Wins 4-0, and is crowned Top Helmet