Public Announcement! President Obama Declares National State Of Emergency: Masturbation Implicating Serious Physical Harm -- America Goes To War With The Rest Of The World

[theMuzzl3]

I want to start off by apologizing to the few people on here that I was a prick to. I think I was in a bad state of mind back then, and am hoping for your forgiveness. I haven't written anything mentionable in over a year, and I finally got passed the writers block and discouragement; and found myself writing this big ass thing.

Its not intended to rhyme and I may publish it on a fake news site in the near future. The article is intended to be offensive, humorous, and obscene... while also pointing out some issues that are more serious (as far as our rights being taken away).

There is a paragraph about netcees towards the end that I may either remove or just target it towards something else and reword it... but if the over-all opinion of people on here is that it is funny and not too offensive, then I will keep it. Hoping that the site owner and other admins appreciate that it meant to be humorous and won't be offended if I publish it with that paragraph in it. If its not cool, then I'll get rid of it. I figured, since I am being offensive towards so many groups of people and that its supposed to be funny, that if the story goes onto some fake news sites... it would point attention towards this site and possibly result in a few writers signing up.

Ok, here it is (if you get bored with it just skip to the paragraph about netcees). I may make some minor adjustments.

[TITLE]:
President Obama Declares National State Of Emergency: Masturbation Implicating Serious Physical Harm -- America Goes To War With The Rest Of The World

[BODY]:

As of January 22nd, 2016, masturbation has been added to the list of Schedule 1 Drugs / Substances and is not FDA approved due to prolonged pharmacokinetic studies indicating serious side-effects predominantly in male subjects, leading to chronic health conditions including but not limited to: hairy palms, going blind, lack of focus, complete loss of motivation, increased testosterone, lack of empathy, increased appetite, decreased aggression, fatigue, excessive sleepiness, permanent physical dependancies, sleep paralysis, comma, cancer of the nut sack or vah-jay-jay, absence of blue balls, voting for Democrats, and death. It is suggested by top doctors that instead of 'Checking For Testicular Cancer', it is much more healthy to 'Play Doctor' and practice 'Undressing The Wound'; so next time you think 'Playing It Safe' is safe, think again!

Due to world-wide studies done by top US scientists, it has been reported by the CIA that strong evidence indicates that babies born in France, Iran, and North Korea have a 100% chance of being born with hairy palm syndrome and blindness, which is suggested to be linked to the parents' continued lack of ceasing of continuous mutual masturbation. It is stressed by top US scientists that births outside of the US have a higher rate of being stillborns, and the claims are upheld by well documented data which also indicates that this is due to non-USA women 'Saucing The Taco' more often than females that reside in the USA. America's top researchers suggest that this is because American women have proven to 'Go All The Way', 'Get Nailed', ‘Bury The Bone' or 'Get Stuffed' more frequently than women from other countries will. It is suggested that the main reason for this is due to American males being more willing and able to 'Feed Bologna To The Smurfs', 'Hit A Home Run', or even 'Hit A Grand Slam', which causes women in the USA to require less frequent and smaller doses 'Finger Blasting' or 'Petting The Pussy Cat'. In relation to the the aforesaid, similar studies show that males that reside in the United States of America have a lower chance of suffering from chronic symptoms caused by excessive 'Fastening The Chin Strap On The Helmet Of Love', as compared to males that reside outside of the USA. An example of evidence supporting this theory is that the USA has never won a medal in the 'Five Knuckle Olympics', while France has won the gold medal several years in a row. Scientists suggest that this is directly related to evidence showing that US males are more likely to "Get Lucky' or 'Score' than males living outside of the USA. However, research shows that the serious problem of the increasingly high levels of human beings in the United States 'Discovering Their Own Potential' and 'Taking Matters Into Their Own Hands' too often has become an unsettling statistic that can no longer be ignored. Furthermore, some US scientists swear that "Making It Snow' too often is contributing to global cooling, which could wipe out the human race all together.

Another notable scientific discovery that the CIA announced is that typically men from Iran suffer from the highest abuse levels of chronic masturbation. This is known to be due to their lack of self-respect and self-confidence which in turn causes them to display lack of respect for women as their equals, causing them to force women to cover their skin. It is also suggested by researchers at Berkeley, Harvard and Stanford Universities that another contributing factor causing 99.9% of Iranian men to display the inability to see women as their true equals is their own psychological issues caused by frequently administering of high doses of self-masturbation. This also leads to an extremely high probability of being rapists, murderers, and terrorists.

On January 23rd, 2016, President Obama announced publicly that he stands behind statements made by the CIA and the FDA's rejection of 'The Imaginary Ms. Lewinsky'; and declared a national state of emergency to combat the abuse of 'Electing The President'; and pronounced that he will soon bring a new Bill Of No Rights to the US Senate, which will outlaw the immigration of Muslims that have been accused by American police officers of 'Polishing Their Rockets' or 'Slapping Their Donkeys'. The Bill will be sent to the Senate as soon as humanly possible… so that the US Senators can wait forever to pass the Bill because they are too busy 'Spending Their Christmas Bonuses' and 'Getting It Done'. Barack Hussein Obama went on to maintain that, despite lack of evidence, he was in fact born in the US; and that he has never 'Shaken Hands With His Wife's Best Friend.'

Obama stated "I would much rather 'Bone Down Wiff A Hottie' and 'Tap Dat Ass.' My wife has never 'Beat Around The Bush.' Mrs. Obama and I have always been strongly against 'Impeaching Bush' and 'Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln.' Of course I 'Hit Dat Bitch', as should every American male. She likes it when I 'Slap Dat Ass'. When it comes to Michelle, I always 'Smash Dat Shit'. I 'Bang Dat Ass', if she talks back to me. After I 'Pin Dat Ass', she ain't be walkin' fo' days."

He then insisted that Muslims are more inclined to 'Slap Their Donkeys' instead of 'Riding Their Donkeys', and that he'll be 'Calling In The Secret Service' in order to prevent terrorists from 'Cleaning Their Rifles'. He also declared that he is strongly against any US citizens performing 'Manual Labor', 'Pulling Their Own Weight', or 'Getting Their Fingers Wet'; and that the American government should "Give Hand Outs' to every one... and that he'd be 'Taxin Dat Ass.' While recommending against 'Making A Cash Withdrawal' or 'Cleaning Out Your Account', his 'Argument Ender' was that he would make 'A Donation to the Clinton Library', to lead the country by example.

It has been shown in scientific and medical laboratory tests that subjects who have dosed high amounts of 'Doing It Your Way' in short periods of time may have a high risk of 'Flick Your Bick' or 'Tiptoe Through The TwoLips' hangovers, which can lead to seizures, cardiac arrest, and even death. If you feel you are suffering from a 'Five Knuckle Shuffle' or 'Pussy Soccer' hangover, call 911 immediately. If you are experiencing a "come down" effect from previously 'Feeding The Ducks', then call your doctor, go to the nearest urgent care clinic, or 'Get A Piece' immediately. If you have previously applied or are currently dosing 'Baiting Your Hook' or 'Diddling Your Skittle'; or if you have plans of self-administering any dosage of 'Getting Schwifty', it is strongly advised that you discontinue 'Beating The Dummy' or 'Flicking The Bean' immediately and seek help from a professional health care specialist. Studies also indicate that 'Twerking' is generally bad for your health and therefore suggestions by top US doctors and scientists indicate that 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' may cause severe medical conditions.

Studies done by leading US scientists and doctors have suggested that 'Slamming Your Spam' and 'Spearing The Bearded Clam' directly result in weight gain, but additional studies of varying trials of 'Buffing The Wood' and 'Battery Testing' need to be pursued.

Top US laboratories have done tests on chimpanzees, in which scientists manually applied varying doses of 'Punishing The Primate' to lab subjects, provided results which strongly indicate that applying 'Spanking Of The Monkeys' to the apes did not prevent the primate subjects from 'Doin The Monkey Boy'. In fact, the direct results of scientists applying 'Social Grooming' to the primate subjects directly increased the subjects' self induced 'Peeling Of The Banana'. The scientists asserted that if the subjects of the tests would have stuck to frequent 'Monkey Business', none of this 'Looking For Ticks' would have been necessary.

Extensive research indicates that regular use of crack cocaine (freebase form of cocaine, also termed rock, work, hard, iron, cave, and base) significantly reduces chronic 'Bleeding The Weed' syndrome and can reduce dependencies for 'Rolling Your Own' and 'Digging Your Own Hole'. Regular inhalation of crack rock can supplement the use of 'Buffing The Muff' or 'Bleeding The Weed', and can also assist in tapering off the daily dosage of 'Tweaking The Twinkie' and 'Nulling The Void'. It has been reported that death occurs in 100% of subjects, in a study that included all American citizens that have reportedly 'Shot Themselves In The Foot' or 'Bruised The Beaver'.

In addition to treatment via crack cocaine, it is said that rectal administration of masturbation which lacks any and all physical contact with the genitals will remain legal in the USA; and it is suggested as an alternative treatment for addiction to ‘Whacking It’, and is best used in combination with smoking crack. This treatment will diminish your habit of 'Changing The Oil' or 'Beating The Beaver'. It is suggested that in order to avoid health complications or legal risks, you must take action as soon as possible; and see a doctor, who will either prescribe you crack cocaine and administer regular treatments of anal penetration… or will put you on a solid treatment plan of exercises which will include fingering your rectum and using medical devices such as anal beads and anal dildos. It is recommended that you do use doses of anal penetration with the medical devices for administering your anal treatments, as it is known to have higher bioavailability as compared to administration with the finger. In extreme cases, your doctor may assign you a professional physical sex therapist of the opposite sex... which vary in cost, depending on the quality of services rendered; but are highly effective in treating your drug dependency for 'Tickling Ther Taco' or 'Pricking The Pickle'. If you are Muslim, the doctor may assign a parol officer to your case.

Research also indicates that African American subjects are less prone to 'Sampling The Mayonnaise Seas' or 'Pampering The Pussy', because black males have been shown to possess larger than average 'Dongs'; and African American females are known to have high tolerance levels and sweet toothes for 'Nasal Drippings', 'Albino Lipstick', 'Protein Injections', 'Baby Batter', 'Toss Sauce', 'Pecker Snot, and 'Demon Juice'. It is mostly due to the average African American woman's high levels of dedication of conserving every last drop of 'Population Paste', also known as 'Liquid Kids', 'Baby Gravy', and 'Man Seed', that the black community in the USA have the highest rate of successful pregnancies and population growth rates. Additionally, African Americans are more likely to have previously established regular administration of crack in order to combat cravings for 'Burping The Baby' and 'Playing Couch Hockey For One'. The results of African Americans having larger penises than average Caucasians and other nationalities (and regularly applying crack smoke or vapor to the lungs) is a higher probability of 'Tapping That Ass' more often than the average human man, as well as lower levels of obsession with 'Taking Care Of Their Business' or 'Washing Their Fingers'. It is also true that Caucasian males have the highest likelihood of 'Calling Down For More Mayo' resulting in the lowest frequency of 'Rocking The Trailor' of any racial background. However, results of this is massive amount of 'Playing It Safe' is strictly limited to white males, causing increased frequency of 'Abusing The Wicked Stick'. This is also because they are 'Wankers' that love the 'Hockey Cocky'. It is said that the main reason that white females don't show increased risk of 'Pearl Fishing' and maintain a healthy level of 'Getting Busy' is that they have extreme fixations on 'Man-Naise'. Other reasons that Caucasian women have been shown to have increasingly higher rates of desiring 'Big Black Cocks' is that they have easy access to 'Twinkie Filling', 'Facial Creams', 'Liquid Pearls', and 'Pearl Necklaces'. Studies indicate that Asian males have the second highest potential for becoming addicted to 'Turning Japanese', due to their smaller 'Shlittles'. It is said that Asian women do 'Wax On, Wax Off' at extremely high rates but will also 'Love You Lon Time' because 'Me So Horney' and they can't resist 'Bukakke' cravings. Similar to white women, asian women experience severe cravings for the 'Mississippi Black Snake'. It is said that over-all, Hispanic people are the most averaged out in levels of 'Custer's Last Stand' and doing the 'Two Finger Taco Tango', but that they do run higher risk of frequently performing a 'Dirty Sanchez', which also has potential for serious health risks.

The American government is making a strong effort and spending billions of dollars to work with research chemical development in Chinese laboratories in order to formulate an synthetic analog of crack cocaine with the goal of obtaining a similar substance that is more addicting for Caucasian males and less addicting for African American males. Then, forcing the American citizens to ingest prescribed amounts of the new designer drug and eliminating the availability of crack is suggested to result in a reduction of dependence on 'Doing The Dew' in white populations while increasing the potential for 'Clamping The Pipe' abuse in black populations. The result will theoretically cause white males to 'Bump Fuzzies' more often and also result black males 'Getting Some Booty' less often; which is expected to reduce the birth rates and average life-span of African American males due to raising their potential for 'Five Against One'… and to increase the birth rates of the honkeys, because instead of 'Galloping The Maggot', they'll be 'Shagging' at higher rates. It is suggested that the American government will keep paying the Chinese government to formulate research chemical analogs of crack and test them on starving people in third world countries in Africa until they discover the right chemical combination. Similar methods have been implemented by the American government in the past (for example, as suggested with targeting blacks with the biological warfare introduction of AIDS, chemical substances known to lower sexual libido which are hidden in KFC chicken wings, Church's Chicken, several brands of hot sauce, and malt liquor beverages approved by the FDA… as well as the secret health benefits of eating massive amounts of mayonnaise for the whiteys), in order to chase their "American" dream of the Man "keeping' a Brotha' down" (and by down, we mean penile dysfunction). If these conspiracies hold true, the American and Chinese governments may find a 'Surprise Cumshot In Their Asses' when the rest of the world takes notice to their corrupt objectives.

Female subjects of the studies done at Harvard and Stanford Universities were shown to have a higher rate of becoming fat, 'Carpet Munching Dykes', the more often they are 'Raiding The Fridge'. The study went on to prove that homosexual women who regularly do "Bumper To Bumper' are more prone to 'Embracing Feminism' than heterosexual women who alternatively practice 'Burying The Bone'.

Rosie O'Donnell even appeared on the Ellen DeGeners Show to speak on this subject, saying that "straight women who 'Roast The Broomstick' are witches and should be subjected to 'Dishonorable Discharge', be forced into becoming 'Muffers', and bathed in 'Luke' in order to purify their sins." The audience full of 'Kissing Fishes' applauded enormously as they 'Made Scissors Of Someone' with other audience members.

Comedian Jimmy Kimmel responded on his late night show on ABC, exclaiming, "Rosey O'Donnell is a 'Butch' and a 'Bulldagger'; and she just needs to be in a 'Bedroom Rodeo,' 'Rocking The Trailer.' Ellen DeGeners is such a 'Bulldyke' that even a 'Pillow Queen' would not let her 'Daddle' them into a 'Desperation Number'. She thinks that all women are men are 'Cliterfearance', because she never gets any 'Janey'. They both just need a good 'Dicking Down'. I'd 'Get Nasty' with both of them just to repair the long term psychological damage they contain from not being 'Pounded' for such a long time. I'd be 'Winding Their Clocks' so good that they wouldn't know what 'Whammed' them. I'd do some 'Missionary Work' and turn them into 'Hasbians'. They'd have a 'Full House' after I was done 'Hittin It' with them." The owners of the ABC network responded by giving Jimmy Kimmel a two million dollar per year raise!

Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, John G. Roberts Jr., followed Obama's public announcement by proclaiming that there will be no tolerance of 'Badgering Of The Witness' in criminal cases in which the defendant has been accused of 'Unloading The Gun', and they will be sentenced to "Walking The Plank'. Also, the US Secretary Of Defense, Ashton B. Carter, has exclaimed that he is against "Saluting The General' and 'Digging A Trench'. Commissioner of Police of New York City declared that he would 'Cop A Hammering' to anyone accused by police men of 'Hitchhiking South' or 'Roughing The Muff'.

To top off public declarations from the world of politics, US Republican nominee, Donald Trump, expressed that American citizens should be 'Getting Busy', 'Going To Work', 'Putting In Work', 'Laying Pipe', and 'Plowing The Fields'. He concluded his statement by saying that he was never really into women who are 'Rolling The Dough', that 'Making The World Safe For Democracy' is a horrible thing, and that 'Waking The Dead' too frequently will surely cause a zombie apocalypse… and Fox News analyst Bill O'Reilly has spoken in support of Trump's comments, so it must be true because Bill O'Reilly never 'Stretches The Truth'.

Pope Francis has sworn that he would never 'Rope The Pope', 'Sacrifice Sperm To The God Of Lonely Nights', or 'Shake The Devil's Hand'; and that the Catholic church forbids 'Rubbing Buddha's Tummy', 'Flogging The Bishop', or 'Decking The Nun'. He also reminded the public that Moses never 'Parted The Pink Sea', that Jesus never 'Squeezed Mary', vowing that 'Praising The Kooter' would be sacrilegious. Being an animal rights activist, he urged the public that 'Teasing The Kitty', 'Bruising The Beaver', 'Screwing The Pooch', 'Choking The Chicken', and 'Pussy Soccer' are purely evil and that 'Feeding The Kitty' is the only sure way to make it to the gates of heaven. The Pope confessed that, as a devout Catholic Priest, he does not partake in 'Hiding The Bishop', but that confessing ones sins, including 'Making Love', to a Catholic priest and to God will ensure that you will reach the gateway of heaven and get to kick it with Jesus.

Leading republican candidate, Donald Trump, argued with the Pope just because he can afford to get sued for saying, "animals are anti-American and all of them masturbate. No animals should be allowed to legally immigrate to America." During his public statement, he was hiding his toupee under the palm of his right hand. Fox News was completely baffled by the argument between their supported candidate and the Pope, due to conflicting agendas, supporting anti-abortion stances held by the Catholic Church while also supporting the bigotry of the right wing Republicans. Fox News completely dodged the subject, while CNN aired it 24/7 for 27 days straight due to their agenda for pro-baby-killing and anti-religious views of the left wing Democrats. However, within the US Senate and House Of Representatives, the two parties have united against the terrorist threat of 'Whacking Off'… in their attempt to destroy the Muslims and animals on a global scale. Trump is the only political figure that has enough money to afford being sued in a court of law for large sums of cash, due to publicly stating anything that he wishes. It is noted that, opposing the stance of the House and Senate, ‘poles’ taken from a large percentage of non-politician, US citizens indicate 56% of them support human and animal rights… and would rather allow people to 'have sex with themselves' than murder innocent people and animals. Only 27% of the American people stated that they support the new war, and 17% were undecided or had no opinion on the subject.

Actress Judy Garland, who played Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz, professed that she never has 'Punched The Wizard's Munchkin', nor has she 'Auditioned The Finger Puppets'. NBA star Lebron James protested that he would stop going for 'Three Point Shots' and he was sick of opposing NBA teams 'Playing A Little Five-On-One' with him while the referees 'Ganged Up' on him. He told the press that if he didn't have to 'Score The Hoop' every time, that his team would be a 'Clusterfuck' for the other teams to handle; and they would 'Finish' with an NBA championship trophy this season by 'Shooting' better than the Golden State Warriors and 'Busting' them up. Singer Alanis Morissette said she's writing a themed album that speaks out against 'Playing A One-Stringed Guitar' and that she'll try to stop 'Playing The Clitar' and 'Strumming The Banjo'. Actor Ben Affleck promised that he would stop 'Playing Poker' and 'Poke Her Face' instead; and his brother, Casey Affleck, boasted that he would stop 'Oiling The Glove'. Host of TV cooking show Rachel Ray voiced her opinion against 'Tickling Tacos' and 'Beating Meat' and stated that her show will focus more in 'Meat Injections'. She assured her audience that 'Making Soup' was something that she'd never do again, and that she would stop 'Buttering The Corn' for her husband. She went on and on about how her husband loves to 'Pork', 'Make Banana Pudding', 'Pound The Fruit', 'Stir Up The Yogurt', 'Slam The Ham', 'Sink The Sausage', and 'Stuff The Turkey' for her... and how he never 'Makes Instant Pudding', 'Whips Up Some Sour Cream', 'Frosts The Pastries', 'Fries Up A Corndog', 'Flipping His Omelete, 'Relishes His Hot Dog', 'Samples The Secret Sauce', or 'Meats With Mother Thumb And Her Four Daughters'.

The world's scientists and doctors from countries outside of the US have not confirmed such data as the aforementioned studies suggest, and 'Scratching The Itch' remains legal in countries that are outside of the USA. In fact, some countries such as France, Germany, Russia, Iran, and North Korea, support 'Working Things Out', which may cause the USA to 'Take Part In Population Control' by 'Taking Matters Into Their Own Hands', 'Dropping Loads Of Bombs' and 'Drilling For Oil'. Third world countries won't even be able to perform 'One Gun Salutes' because America will stop supplying them guns and ammunition.

Reports indicate that many frequent male writers and rappers of netcees(dot)org protested, stating that they would not cease with continuous 'Trolling The Bermuda Triangle' and 'Crowning The King' for their 'Daisy Chaining' of competitions involving 'Doing Their Homework', 'Digital Penile Oscillation', and 'Brushing Up Their Typing Skills'. However, documentation shows that habitual 'Mattress Munching', 'Pillow Biting', and naturally being 'Lacy' 'Iron Closets' is a precursor to 'Coming Out Of The Closet' while becoming 'Miss Congenialities' and 'Nine-Dollar Bills'... all the while maintaining a 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. They are predicted to continue low levels of writing while practicing the 'Rumpy-Rumpy' with each other and continuing currently known behaviors of acting like 'Smurfs'. After establishing 'Twink' status, male regulars of netcees(dot)org will eventually fade from writing lyrical structures online and become 'Wolves', then 'Bears'. Eventually they will turn into 'Vampires' and 'AIDS Terrorists'. Research shows that many male net'cees have already attended 'Zipper Clubs' intended for an open invite for any net'cee and also the general public. Currently, the owner of netcees(dot)org only tells his closest closet 'Bone Smuggler' friends that he wasn't faithful to his boyfriend while he was in prison. Many net'cee administrators have come to personally know the owner to be a 'Feltcher' and a 'Catcher'. It is well known amongst many net'cees that the term "Faggot' is used as code when complementing each other. Typically, the male rapper of netcees(dot)org can be quoted as previously saying, in real life, "Hey! Rap, Rap. Hurry Up! Rap, rap. Look, there are people out here who actually want to use the toilet! Rap, rap, rap, rap." Unfortunately, the overwhelming amount of 'Shit Stabbers' and 'Peter Puffers' that frequent netcees(dot)org cause the female net'cees to experience 'The Dildo Sweats' and an unsafe level of being 'Cock Hungry', as they often whisper to male net'cees that 'The Kids Are Asleep'… but ultimately end up being ignored by the 'Sausage Jockeys' that frequent the site. They become increasingly deprived of good 'Slippering Of The Cripller'. Currently, most male net'cees are also overly 'Randy' and 'Happy To See Each other', since they are mostly 'Closet Cases'. Due to this fact, many of the female net'cees administer high doses of 'Tickling The Twat' and frequently experience many chronic health conditions (as listed above). In addition, the female members of netcees(dot)org often overdose from 'Clicking The Mouse', and in many cases chronic cases, conditions tend to cause miscarriages due to being 'Violiently Gang Banged' by random white pimps and paying clients. While the the typical net'cee frequenter (which is surely classified as one or more of the following: 'Butt Hugger', 'Pole Smoker', 'Barbie', and/or 'Saturday Night Lesbian') will undoubtedly deny any of the aforesaid documentation, studies from many top institutions of education across the world conclude that everything mentioned here about regular members of netcees(dot)org is proven to be scientific fact.

In conclusion, if you do not take action in immediately signing up for Obamacare and seeing a health care provider, it is extremely likely that you will be detained at Guantanamo Bay indefinitely as a terrorist masturbator; and you will receive no fair trial under the Patriot Act, National Defense Authorization Act, and Defense Authorization Bill). Thus, your civil rights under the First and Fifth Amendments of the Constitution of The United States of America will be violated. If you are detained indefinitely without a trial for being accused of 'Hand To Gland Combat', you will be forced to receive anal treatments, but will not have the right to smoke crack or see a physical sexual therapist of the opposite sex. Just remember, the American government is in your back yard, under your bed, and in your closet. They know your deepest secrets, and you can hide nothing from them. So, sign up for that Obamacare or suffer the consequences! I hope that you find this information to be useful, stop 'Playing With Ding-A-Lings' and 'Finger-Bangin', and I wish you good luck -- you're gonna need it!


Copywrite is not Copyright blah blah blah you suck at naming dates and times
~theMuzzl3


Sources:
ABC.com
Foxnews.com
CNN.com
Berkeley University
Harvard University
Stanford University

[Pharaohs Army]

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[theMuzzl3]

lol -- love your response. I wondered if you actually read the whole thing, but then you pointed out a spelling mistake which actually contributes to the article... just gotta put 'poles' instead of poles.

At least I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!!

I'm glad to see you took the time to read it and post a funny response.

I'd rather take drugs in the mail if they were ones that get you high, because I am always high... thats why I can't write right.

Shit, the people from the silk roads have been mailing high end coke and 83% MDMA for years now... I'm sure a couple of your spare viagra pills couldn't hurt anything. For depression, I take high doses of ketamine, methoxetamine, aerosol, alcohol, some crack now and again, and nitrous oxide. It works wonders. A little bit of heroin and DMT in the mix makes for wonderful days.

[sral]

lmao this faggot again?

[theMuzzl3]

Originally Posted by sraL

lmao this faggot again?

Probly not for long since I always feel suicidal and get writers block whenever you guys pick on me. I may be a faggot, but you're an AIDS terrorist :P

I probly won't write anything thats in my prose, since I am so legendary... Especially when attempting to write with structure.

I don't really care that much, tbh. But, reading shit here is definitely inspiring... just time consuming.

I'd wreck you in a "who's whiter" rap competition, so don't even attempt to challenge the undisputed champ. I know you try, though. I can be your mentor, if you like.

[sral]

LMAO MENTOR THESE NUTS FAGGOT

[theMuzzl3]

*insert supposedly offensive statement here*

lafs

[Aero]

1st of all the premise is too dumb to warrant reading the whole thing. Not even slightly amusing but moreso nowhere near believable. Anyone who reads it in its entirety will be dumber.