02-25-2016, 12:46 AM | #1 |
Tsk Tsk
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Congratualtions Pinot Grij: Winter Topical II Champion
@Pinot Grij
Pinot Grij had a very impressive run along the way defeating his first three opponents Broken Hal0, Soulstice and Pie a whopping 15-0 in votes. He did not have a single vote cast against him the entire tournament, and although the tourney stalled in the end, his verses were still top notch and well deserving of the wins. Other victories include against Mr. J in finals and Diode in Semi-Finals. Championship Verse Submitted By: Pinot Grij Winter Topical II: Finals 2-22-2016 Topic: The Man Who Sold The World Who is Tabitha? Read her story. Tabitha is crestfallen. She felt rotten. How could she let her defense soften and be left trodden? She could not have shown less caution. She regrets falling. She let love’s threat blossom and was infected by its death toxin. Oh, the betrayal she felt - it quickly morphed into vengeful desires To her, Robolationships was just an alias that meant Deception For Hire. With a contemptuous fire against such a wicked attack, She made a vigilant pact to stop those guilty of this villainous act. Robolationships’ CEO was Lucas Graves. A brutish knave. He was the man who sold the world the only thing it truly craves. A hardly demure entrepreneur, he was resolute in direction As he developed an android adroit in the realm of human affection. An illusion so precious - his units accepted to a booming reception. They made the woe-beset forget about the wounds they’d been dressing. But there were moralists who more or less besmirched his design They thought it a merciless crime to trick a person’s mind with circuits and wires But let the purists conspire, he thought, they all beat the same drum Cyborg or life form: if you attain love, who cares where it came from? So those who longed from being wronged when left to their own devices, Would spend their earnings on their yearning, no matter what the price is He saved the lovelorn from blunt scorn - providing hope was his art. So what if a few of his drones had gone rogue and broke a few hearts? He felt irreproachable - few had been dealt such delusions of self As he’d accumulate wealth with each Roboyfriend that flew off the shelf. Graves entered his office with a newspaper in hand. And was met by a fuming woman intent on making a stand. No stated demands - only the retribution she sought. For his fugitive fraud and its punitive abuse of her heart. He said, "I know why you're here. And I'm sorry for what you've endured. You came to vent your hate for how I’ve desecrated something so pure. But I once was in love. That sweet rush - alas, it was in vain. And I was abandoned just the same, left to grapple with the pain. That shrapnel still remains, lodged in the very meat of my being, So I built these droids to fill the void left from the grief of that feeling.” He saw the girl bow her head and the tears roll from her cheeks. Just then he struck, and he gripped her by the throat and he squeezed. But didn’t notice her breathe. And he knew he had nothing to blame. The irony struck as the android blew up and engulfed him in flames. Tabitha self-destructed her droid - she smiled as her plan took effect Then she downloaded Graves’ fingerprints from his hands on its neck She used them to gain access to the Robolationships vault. And then laid waste to their databanks with a brazen assault. Except she kept one program, and had it stored on a disk. Which she swore was for kicks, a memento from their glorious tryst. But many nights, the loneliness grips as she sips a glass of wine. And wonders if she rebuilt him, would it be different than last time.
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02-25-2016, 12:50 AM | #2 |
The Bad Guys.
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damn props to pulse, he's doing work.
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02-25-2016, 12:53 AM | #3 | |
Tsk Tsk
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Semi-Finals vs. Diode
Submitted By: Pinot Grij 2-13-2016 Topic: Quarter Finals vs. Pie Submitted By: Pinot Grij 2-1-2016 Topic: Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see Person Man was the superhero the city didn’t actually need No dastardly deeds captured the streets, things were happy indeed The criminals were minimal.. but every vigilante needs a purpose He saw evil lurk beneath the surface of the most routine occurrence He determined people’s urges for deceit could deeply worsen So any act he deemed as irksome carried steep incursions. Peep the verdict. A woman is driving. She gets a text and is minutely distracted. That’s when ya boy Person Man swoops in to action. Her larynx collapses with a quick karate chop to the throat He yells, “Bitch, you must pull off of the road when you talk on your phone!” But she ain’t talkin’ no mo’ - Person Man picks up her cell And types, “You’ll see your friend again the next time you’re visiting Hell” He sees a minivan, a soccer mom with her tot son sitting shotgun She screams, “I’m calling the cops! You better pray to a God if you’ve got one!” He tosses his Personrang, it lops off her head and blood pools in the street Then growls, “You dumb cunt, children aged 5-9 need to be in a booster seat.” With his duties complete, he sets off with the stride of a savior To stop some defiant stranger’s violent nature from putting more lives in danger The middle school cafeteria is filled with the town’s little munchkins Children crowded in bunches as they sit down for their lunches Just then Person Man rushed in, as he sees a tubby, fat kid His katana blade cuts off his hands, still holding a peanut butter sandwich He screamed, “Foods containing allergens these days aren’t an option! It seems the only thing this fat shit is allergic to is safety precautions!” The kid dismayed as he’s gawkin’ at the stumps where his hands had been And heard, “You’re a worthless match for Person Man, you little faggot bitch!” A 360 slice opened the kid’s belly, his intestines were dumped on the floor Person Man ***kled and said, “I bet that tubby dummy’s not hungry anymore! That child’s sandwich was a menace, just think what it could’ve started” That’s when a teacher screamed, “You fucking idiot, that kid was retarded!” Person Man jumped up and split her skull with a deafening strike And frowned as he said, “The R word hurts, you insensitive dyke” On his way out, he stabbed the janitor for his thoughtless crime He mopped the hallway, but neglected to put up the caution sign Person Man smiled, he was pulling this city back from the brink That’s when he stopped at the gas station for some snacks and a drink He gave the clerk a laugh and a wink then went back to the soft drink case And completely missed the masked gunman who was robbin’ the place Person Man looked at the clerk and could tell the man had been sweatin’ That’s when the robber grabbed a carton of cigarettes and ran out the exit The clerk looked confused, he said, “That woeful thief just stole from me! Holy sheesh! What kind of fucking superhero are you supposed to be?!” Person Man sighed and said, “Let me just start gettin this straight, then… Did you just dispense tobacco to that man without checking his identification?” “But that’s not the point!” The clerk had started to explain That’s when Person Man jumped on him and started carving out his brain He muttered, “Teen smoking is a problem, it’s the simplest of facts.” Then pulled out the clerk’s brain and said, “Next time you’ll THINK before you act!” Once night falls, he uses the city’s skyscrapers as his platform. His name is Person Man. The superhero that nobody really asked for. Second Round vs. Soulstice Submitted By: Pinot Grij 1/20/2016 Topic: Finding Of Soul ***pls view the video first*** Vincent Smith - A Fictional History ^ That's Vincent Smith, and that's Jadeveon Clowney laying him out But what the replays don't show is Smith's soul escape through his mouth It changed him, no doubt - before draft day, teams were staking him out But Smith fumbled and stumbled each time he played for the scouts Now Clowney, he's a Lone Star in Houston - 1st pick in the draft While every team passed on Vincent, hardly a sniff from the pack He returned to Michigan, to get his reputation on the mend But he played shitty there too - and he was stapled to the bench So he focused on academics - but he failed on every test Tried to bag chicks, but his sad dick couldn’t even stay erect Passing off as a laughingstock, he was the college’s joke Got his athletic scholarship revoked and that was all that she wrote Poor Vincent - he was dragged off campus punching and kicking His life was shit. Ever since that hit, he just knew something was missing 5 YEARS LATER Vincent is fat now. He looks like crap now. He only wears sweats and lives on a campground. Down at the trailer park, he’s always buggin’ people Tellin’ stories from his glory years like Uncle Rico He works at Wal Mart so he can never save a penny. Spending days aplenty with his neighbor Cajun Remy. Now, the pagan Cajun practiced voodoo still to this day. And told Vincent his theory that had him filled with dismay “Vince, your soul left when that man popped off your head I’m no doctor, but to the spirits, child, you’re already dead. But the soul never ceases and yours is left intact. And if you trust Remy but any then I can get it back.” See, down at the NFL Drug Center, Remy knows of a man Who hooked Remy up with a phoney custodian’s badge The Cajun was a thief and here’s a pure example He walked in and stole Jadeveon’s urine sample Back at the trailer, the Cajun insisted Vincent drink it Smith was disgusted but this sure wasn't time for thinking Vincent chugged the piss cup and his face fell flat As he saw Remy hit him in the chest with a baseball bat And Remy sang, “BANG BANG SHAROOK ALANG THE MAN CLOWNEY HIT VINCENT LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN BANG BANG SHAROOK AROLL THE MAN CLOWNEY TOOK AWAY THE MAN VINCE’S SOUL BANG BANG SHAROOK ARISK VINCE RECLAIMED HIS SPIRIT AFTER DRINKIN’ MAN’S PISS BANG BANG SHAROOK ARACK ALL SPIRITS, ALL HEAR IT - GIVE VINCE HIS SOUL BACK!” Meanwhile, at the stadium, Clowney’s vision went all blurry His body seized up and he left the game twitchin’ on a gurney 5 YEARS LATER Smith is a CEO, pockets flush, miles away from his poor conditions Smokin’ stogies on a private yacht, surrounded by gorgeous women Taut physique, built like a freak - lookin’ like a college day throwback Plus his hair’s grown back - hell yeah, Vincent Smith has got his soul back First Round vs. Broken Hal0 Submitted By: Pinot Grij 1/11/2016 Topic: I’ll take the Intercontinental Belt back. Take it back to Parts Unknown. Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel. Then load it with the Warriors.” - The Ultimate Warrior Jared loves astronomy and professional wrestling Two topics with no common ground, you’re probably guessing With his telescope, he held out hope as he checked out the moon That its celestial dunes were some kind of extraterrestrial ruins Until that one night, he glimpsed within the moonlight’s glorious bask Upon its rocky surface, there emerged the Ultimate Warrior’s mask! Once the euphoria passed, he watched with a gleam in his eyes Like a beam in the night, the mask whimsically careened through the skies It was the Warrior ship! Jared thought, “Is this really happening?” And like some astral dream, he was pulled in by its tractor beam Through sliding doors he made his way to the ship’s command center Then gasped, all the crew mates were his favorite dead wrestlers! Macho Man, Eddie Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rick Rude The British Bulldog, Mr. Perfect - now there was a slick dude! There the Warrior said, “We never died, Jared, this was our destiny. To protect Earth from subterranean aliens who are great at wrestling! That’s why I had my vessel bring our sport’s most massive fan To give you a front row seat to our huge event at Saturn Slam!” Jared couldn’t believe his eyes - he swore never to blink As he watched his former heroes all enter the ring He saw Mr. Perfect grab his alien foe around its purple neck And held it as it struggled to escape from the Perfect-plex Macho Man defeated his opponent and after he pinned him He put on his shiny cowboy hat and snapped into a Slim Jim Ravishing Rick Rude faced a truly gruesome, heinous thing But stole his girlfriend after he snapped him in the Rude Awakening Then the Warrior took the ring in a 20-Man Battle Royale And as the last man standing, he grabbed the mic with his patented growl “I may be the champion, but I couldn’t win this match myself I owe it all to Warrior Jared for reclaiming the Intergalactic Belt!” Jared’s passion swelled, he couldn’t even fathom his fame But he felt on top of the world as the superstars all chanted his name It’s all a dream. Jared is a lonely boy clutching his only toy An Ultimate Warrior action figure, his yard sale pride and joy See, his brothers would beat him while his mom was at work Those jerks took their anger from the divorce out on his self-worth It was mean, his brothers put him in the Million Dollar Dream But he wouldn’t fall asleep, they’d just hold it as he screamed He’d think, “At school, when they pick teams nobody selects me. I get beat up at every recess and nobody protects me. Most nights when I go to sleep my stomach is empty. If I died, I think everybody in the whole world would forget me.” He held his Warrior toy and cried that night with hard sobs His stupid brother had gotten angry and broke both of the arms off So he looks upwards at the sky for shooting stars, he’s never seen one And he dreams of escaping a world that will never let him be one
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02-25-2016, 12:53 AM | #4 |
Tsk Tsk
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I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR |
02-25-2016, 12:54 AM | #5 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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@Pinot Grij, when did you first start doing topical/storytelling battling?
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02-25-2016, 01:11 AM | #6 | |
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02-25-2016, 04:08 AM | #7 |
death warmed over
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Congrats to pinot
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02-25-2016, 06:37 AM | #8 |
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RL represent
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02-25-2016, 10:40 PM | #9 | |
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Topical C.R.E.A.M. |
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02-25-2016, 10:44 PM | #10 |
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I don't remember the year but I remember the events sorta
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02-26-2016, 12:00 AM | #11 | |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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02-26-2016, 12:11 AM | #12 |
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Congrats Pinot, it's unfortunate you got stood up for the finals. That person man rendition was quite entertaining reminded me of that superhero comedy "Super".
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02-26-2016, 05:08 PM | #13 |
White Earl
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big ups gawd. your a dope topicalist
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02-26-2016, 06:39 PM | #14 |
living
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Well deserved on all accounts.
I hope we can match up sometime soon.
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02-26-2016, 09:08 PM | #15 |
Lime Life
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Props bro.
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02-27-2016, 12:32 AM | #16 |
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Topicals suck.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
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