Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Vault > Archives > The Netcees archive > AOWL Season 5 Archive

User Tag List

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-07-2015, 06:52 PM   #1
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946445
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default UnbornBuddha 1-2 vs. Zinaii 0-0 [UNBORNBUDDHA VIA NS]

AOWL Season V, Week 2


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Monday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Tuesday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK

There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Thursday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Friday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Full rules Here

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=119848

TOPIC:


Vertigo

Movie Quote: Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice.





G/Luck @UnbornBuddha @Zinaii
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR

Last edited by Adonis; 08-12-2015 at 07:31 PM.
Adonis is offline  
Old 08-10-2015, 01:46 PM   #2
UnbornBuddha
Senior Member
 
UnbornBuddha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 5

Rep Power: 23856375
UnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant future
Default

Check...
UnbornBuddha is offline  
Old 08-10-2015, 08:19 PM   #3
UnbornBuddha
Senior Member
 
UnbornBuddha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 5

Rep Power: 23856375
UnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant future
Default

Hey, Zinaii you showing?
UnbornBuddha is offline  
Old 08-10-2015, 08:45 PM   #4
Adonis
Tsk Tsk
 
Adonis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
Posts: 4,834
Battle Record: 36-34


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- NFL Pick'em 2016-17

Rep Power: 9946445
Adonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant futureAdonis has a brilliant future
Default

Zinaii No shows with no check in

@Rakontur

go

To be fair I see no check in rules. So if zinaii posts tonight or checks in tonight sweet. If not, Rak will have a verse tomorrow
@Zinaii
__________________
I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is

TUPAC SHAKUR
Adonis is offline  
Old 08-10-2015, 08:46 PM   #5
Zinaii
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 16
Battle Record: 0-1



Rep Power: 0
Zinaii is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Check....didn't realize I was supposed to check my bad I will drop my votes and drop by tommorrow
Zinaii is offline  
Old 08-12-2015, 12:57 AM   #6
UnbornBuddha
Senior Member
 
UnbornBuddha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 5

Rep Power: 23856375
UnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant future
Default

"Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice."

Finale
Here I am, on the floor as all my orifice bleed,
The kind of dark blood that contains horrific grief.
Hemorrhaging, I get the flashbacks oracles see;
Past and present take on the forms of my dreams,
Bizarre images that have their purposeful means.
I get warped into a scene, where I’m a corpse in a tree
Hanging motionless, trying to unconsciously sort out things.
In the end, all I learned was that something lurked within
That could potentially change my search for that person I seek.
In another scene, I’m tortured routinely, in order to believe—
That I can forgive myself for not finding my purposeful means.
The clowns gather around, like an alchemical circle of creeps,
Absurd in their physique, but learned in the mystique.
Maybe, if I had the eyes to see the worth of old antiques
I’ll be able to discern better the critique, & relish my uniqueness.
In my showbiz, all matters of hell and heaven are facetious.

Beginning
Barely out the womb, I was classified hardly a being
My caudal appendage was seen as a mark of the beast
Growing up, nuns rejected me of an orphanage seat.
I had no home to harbor & sleep, my heart yearned for peace
Eventually, the scorn for me grew so large I took leave.
Found myself in the wild, where I met this order of thieves
Who travel city to city, swindling dollars off workers in heaps.
Their leader, Gust, offered me a feast,
—Only to then cage me, with all the other carnival freaks
Our job was to impress others with our farcical deeds!
….Have you ever felt like you couldn’t speak?
Because you have worms gnawing at your throat
Clotting up your nodes; parched cottonmouth souls
Who know it is all one big joke!!!
But it’s hard to see the hoax, while suffering the cold.

MIDDLE
In my stay here,
I found out I had a knack for acrobatics, automatically
My motor neurons and muscle memory fired anabolically.
—But, alas at the height of my fame
I developed vertigo, a spinning divide of my brain.
Even Shakespeare couldn’t recite to you my pain,
Temporal disorientation is a sign that correlates.
Just when I had found my cardinal direction
I fade into obscurity, like Darwin’s true intention.
But, I won’t let Vertigo keep me from my vertical leaps
Even if the Milky way was spinning, I’ll hurl off this beam
But, in my proprioceptor despair, I couldn’t sense anything there
All spatial dimensions were impaired, and death is certain if you’re off by a hair!
So, I fell and miss… Those close enough could hear my cervical snap
Talk about a terminal dance, huh? Go ahead, at my expense, have a personal laugh.

Last edited by UnbornBuddha; 08-12-2015 at 02:41 AM.
UnbornBuddha is offline  
Old 08-12-2015, 10:48 AM   #7
Mr. J
The Clown Prince
 
Mr. J's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,016
Battle Record: 35-45


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 59349678
Mr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant futureMr. J has a brilliant future
Default

This was pretty dope Unborn, I really enjoy your style
it feels like a mixture of Pent Up & Vulgar this time around
I always enjoy when you drop something new. would have loved to see the competition drop though
other than that I really enjoy how you opened the piece & progressed steadily
really Pulp Fiction esque...I always liked using the ending as the beginning
people always seem to overlook the whole process but you execute it nicely here
you really had a smooth flow for this piece and it made the whole thing enjoyable
nice work brah

v/Unborn
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you
Mr. J is offline  
Old 08-12-2015, 04:45 PM   #8
Razah
rockkFresh
 
Razah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 1,088
Battle Record: 8-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 11328542
Razah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant future
Default

I'm going to have to disagree with Mr. J.

I feel like Zinaii had a real sick verse this time around.

vZinaii
Razah is offline  
Old 08-13-2015, 12:14 AM   #9
Woke
Senior Member
 
Woke's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 183
Battle Record: 6-4



Rep Power: 553414
Woke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant future
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Razah View Post
I'm going to have to disagree with Mr. J.

I feel like Zinaii had a real sick verse this time around.

vZinaii



What?

did the name change throw you off or something?

Will try and drop feed on this, got a very busy week man, but I know I'll enjoy the read. Maybe at lunch tomorrow.
Woke is offline  
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+