THE ROAST OF KOTIKO - Page 5

Allen Knight · 11-02-2015, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batty

Thought he could lose his virginity if he could just make it to the semi-finals of Ecuador's equivalent of slumdog millionaire.

lookin like Sully from Monster's Inc with Bells Palsy

Had to file a claim to get his money back from eBay when the John Travolta scented buttplug he used BUY-IT-NOW on never showed up.

Actually started doing the Moonwalk when he heard about McDonald's all-day-breakfast announcement.

looking like a secret agent for 5 Guys Burgers

He keeps Ziploc bags full of mongoose turds to do Warlock rituals with on any given sunday.

Had his beard lined-up with Xena's flying disc

Went to a Halloween party as Pablo Escobar w/ type 2 diabetes. He was the only one there.

Jacks off in the shower so much that he gets pre-cum watching Waterworld.

Prints out pics of anime girls and skeets onto them on a vlog he created called: MANLY MANATEE'S DESPERATION HAPPY FUNTIME VIDEO HOUR.

Could not grow a natural beard, so he sent a money order in the amount of $17.95 for panther pubes he could spirit glue to his face.

lookin like a retired eskimo and shit

lookin like a native American gargoyle house sitter

lookin like Baloo from Jungle Book with epilepsy

done at the water world line lmaooooo.

Saint · 11-02-2015, 05:43 PM

Editttttt by kotiko

Batty · 11-02-2015, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Infiltration

looks like he registered here after striks pizza puff thread from a google search

Yo, that is probably true af !

This nigga lookin like the dad from Good Luck Charlie with Vote for Pedro's wig on.

Saint · 11-02-2015, 06:14 PM

Nigga looks like a retired dog bather

Looks like he hangs out at social centers for the mentally disabled for the cafeteria food

Oblivious to others, nigga looks 100% content and smug living a complete dirt life

He washes his clothes in pig fat grease and horse semen and lets them drip dry

Allen Knight · 11-02-2015, 06:26 PM

lookin like big boss mans kid workin over nights as a college campus security guard.

Batty · 11-02-2015, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Allen Knight

lookin like big boss mans kid workin over nights as a college campus security guard.

Gone gone gone

This nigga lookin like Nick Nolte at a Gary Busey as Luis Guzman lookalike contest

This nigga lookin like one of Jabba the Hutt's security guard pigs

Nigga looking Dusty Rhode's illigitimate Puerto Rican son: STARDIRT

this nigga lookin like a retired Hebrew goat wrangler on social security from birth defects

Nigga living on an emu ranch milking egrets with no regrets

This nigga smelling like a jack o'lantern your forgot you had until around late March

This nigga look like the warthog from Lion King with a lesbian truck driver's wig on.

This nigga drinks pudding.

Vulgar · 11-02-2015, 08:53 PM

Looking like he sells fake mustaches and Police Academy 8 memorabilia on Craigslist.

Looking like he eats Rorschach test ink blots.

Looking like a crossdresser from Pinochet's Chile during the Easter Island Plague.

Looking like a muckraker who eats shit.

Looking like a failed comic from Azerbaijan.

El Muffin · 11-02-2015, 08:56 PM

don't ever ask this nigga to get you a flathead screwdriver

lookin like he intentionally throws his Frisbee towards beachside volleyball games just to break the ice

this is why most corona commercials are filmed from behind

dagel in a fedora looking ass nigga

lookin like a backyard wrestler named luke warm Steve Bostic

looking like fedor emelianko moonlighting as a Moroccan freedom fighter

El Muffin · 11-02-2015, 09:08 PM

that shirt u wearin is trife, hoss
that's a tank top not even the sniper from saving private ryan would set his sights on

Batty · 11-02-2015, 09:15 PM

This nigga makes mixed drinks with the juice from Smithfield Hams

Lookin like a Brazilian reindeer farmer

This nigga uses ranch dressing as lotion

Lookin like Paul Heyman disguised as Vicki Guerrero

This nigga lookin like Akeem the African Dream as a meerkat vetenarian's assistant

Lookin like a male nurse at a gay porn star refugee camp

This nigga snorkeling in melted butter with skillets for flippers

El Muffin · 11-02-2015, 09:19 PM

just noticed person in the background haulin ass tho

lmao

veritas · 11-02-2015, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batty

This nigga lookin like Akeem the African Dream as a meerkat vetenarian's assistant

There is no coming back from this. Yet another newb ethered by the wolfdick.

Vulgar · 11-02-2015, 10:33 PM

Lookin like John Goodman had a baby with a Survivor contestant.

Allen Knight · 11-02-2015, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Batty

This nigga makes mixed drinks with the juice from Smithfield Hams

Lookin like a Brazilian reindeer farmer

This nigga uses ranch dressing as lotion

Lookin like Paul Heyman disguised as Vicki Guerrero

This nigga lookin like Akeem the African Dream as a meerkat vetenarian's assistant

Lookin like a male nurse at a gay porn star refugee camp

This nigga snorkeling in melted butter with skillets for flippers

lmaoooo hurttinnnn hahahaha.

batty bodied this roast.

he deserves an accomp, nigga the roast master tbh.

Vulgar · 11-02-2015, 11:46 PM

He looks like he writes diary entries from the perspective of a radioactive mushroom.

He looks like he rubs sushi on his armpits and worships a statue of Arthur C. Clarke.

He looks like a janitor from Gattaca got seduced by a turnip from the Love Machine.

He looks like a Sims custom character: Gary Snuggleshoes III.

He looks like the mascot for Charmin Ultra-absorbent Football Helmets.

He looks like he owns a hydrophonics music studio.

He looks like he jumped off a mothership and ended up in the fatherhood. He is the daddy to three Coneheads and Crash Bandicoot.

He looks like a troll that personifies AOL Mail customer service.

He looks like a Legomania enthusiast.

He looks like he can palm a trash can lid but when he does, he shits golden bricks and pees Andrea Bocelli's tears.

He looks like a diamond in the ruff if the diamond was a degenerate East-European trash bag.

He looks like he cauterizes bad relationships.

He looks like a feminized repoman from the Czech Republic got a cell phone distribution deal.

He looks like a koala bear trainer who names everything "Claustrofreude!"

He looks like his jaw is made out of jumbo shrimp.

He looks like he can craft skull fragment sentences.

He has a Cheerios bracelet collection yet claims his loyalty lies with the Cheetos panther.

He looks like Ruben from American Idol covered in custard, Tapout energy drinks, and stale cigarette juice.

He looks like a customer service agent at the Reno911 Parody Call Center.

He looks like a bad dream's bad dream.

He looks like the solution to an argument about torpedo guns as an agricultural tool.

He looks like a Definitive Jux reject started a fan club for Stanley Kubrick's zucchini.

He looks like his alarm clock has the words 'Lesbian Garrison Troops' on it.

He looks like he has a pet marmaduke.

He looks like Jimmy Ambriz melded with the gay mobster from Cowboy Bebop.

Vulgar · 11-03-2015, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knucklehead

Lookin like his wallet got nothing in it but hand drawn yugioh cards and wet wipes

lol

too many you guys kild it

lovDicKO · 11-03-2015, 12:56 AM

After reading some of yalls bullshit.

I do have have to say I liked some of them. Shout out to vulgar and batty.

@Knucklehead you suck

11-02-2015, 05:43 PM	#82
Saint Scream Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 3,251 Battle Record: 63-35 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Picture Roast - Battle Royale Tournament - NBL Pic Roast - Netcees Battle League - NBL Season 11 - HoT Roast - BAL Roast - Tag Team Tourney - NBL Barcotic Cypher - SOL Pic Roast - BA Tag - XXXtentacion Roast - 1-2 LR Champ Rep Power: 22535868	Editttttt by kotiko __________________ Last edited by Saint; 07-26-2021 at 04:58 AM.

11-02-2015, 06:14 PM	#84
Saint Scream Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 3,251 Battle Record: 63-35 Accomplishments - 50 Wins Champed - BA Picture Roast - Battle Royale Tournament - NBL Pic Roast - Netcees Battle League - NBL Season 11 - HoT Roast - BAL Roast - Tag Team Tourney - NBL Barcotic Cypher - SOL Pic Roast - BA Tag - XXXtentacion Roast - 1-2 LR Champ Rep Power: 22535868	Nigga looks like a retired dog bather Looks like he hangs out at social centers for the mentally disabled for the cafeteria food Oblivious to others, nigga looks 100% content and smug living a complete dirt life He washes his clothes in pig fat grease and horse semen and lets them drip dry __________________ Last edited by Saint; 11-02-2015 at 06:43 PM.

11-02-2015, 06:26 PM	#85
Allen Knight Foreva us, neva them. Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 9,176 Battle Record: 106-34 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Key to Greatness I - BA Cypher Tournament - Tag Team Tournament I - Fight Night LXXVI - Time to Kill V - Fight Night LXXX - 1-2 Punch League - Fight Night Cypher II - Key Grand Prix IV - NBL Cypher (7x) - Throwdown Cypher - Netcees Battle League (2x) - BA Cypher III - Fight Night 1 - Tag Team Tournament V Rep Power: 85899401	lookin like big boss mans kid workin over nights as a college campus security guard. __________________ C.O.B The Bad Guys.

11-02-2015, 08:56 PM	#88
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	don't ever ask this nigga to get you a flathead screwdriver lookin like he intentionally throws his Frisbee towards beachside volleyball games just to break the ice this is why most corona commercials are filmed from behind dagel in a fedora looking ass nigga lookin like a backyard wrestler named luke warm Steve Bostic looking like fedor emelianko moonlighting as a Moroccan freedom fighter __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople Last edited by El Muffin; 11-02-2015 at 09:05 PM.

11-02-2015, 09:08 PM	#89
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	that shirt u wearin is trife, hoss that's a tank top not even the sniper from saving private ryan would set his sights on __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople

11-02-2015, 08:53 PM	#87
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Looking like he sells fake mustaches and Police Academy 8 memorabilia on Craigslist. Looking like he eats Rorschach test ink blots. Looking like a crossdresser from Pinochet's Chile during the Easter Island Plague. Looking like a muckraker who eats shit. Looking like a failed comic from Azerbaijan.

11-02-2015, 09:15 PM	#90
Batty that nigga Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: trailer house Posts: 2,739 Rep Power: 85899385	This nigga makes mixed drinks with the juice from Smithfield Hams Lookin like a Brazilian reindeer farmer This nigga uses ranch dressing as lotion Lookin like Paul Heyman disguised as Vicki Guerrero This nigga lookin like Akeem the African Dream as a meerkat vetenarian's assistant Lookin like a male nurse at a gay porn star refugee camp This nigga snorkeling in melted butter with skillets for flippers

11-02-2015, 09:19 PM	#91
El Muffin DOHpe since 02' Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Surrounded by white ppl Posts: 14,690 Battle Record: 43-24 Champed - Netcees Battle League - 1-2 Punch Onslaught - 1-2 Punch League - Hot or Thot Roast - Hot or Thot 2018 - Fight Night 11 - NPL Roast Rep Power: 34230535	just noticed person in the background haulin ass tho lmao __________________ It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople

11-02-2015, 10:33 PM	#93
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Lookin like John Goodman had a baby with a Survivor contestant. Last edited by Vulgar; 11-02-2015 at 11:02 PM.

11-02-2015, 11:46 PM	#95
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	He looks like he writes diary entries from the perspective of a radioactive mushroom. He looks like he rubs sushi on his armpits and worships a statue of Arthur C. Clarke. He looks like a janitor from Gattaca got seduced by a turnip from the Love Machine. He looks like a Sims custom character: Gary Snuggleshoes III. He looks like the mascot for Charmin Ultra-absorbent Football Helmets. He looks like he owns a hydrophonics music studio. He looks like he jumped off a mothership and ended up in the fatherhood. He is the daddy to three Coneheads and Crash Bandicoot. He looks like a troll that personifies AOL Mail customer service. He looks like a Legomania enthusiast. He looks like he can palm a trash can lid but when he does, he shits golden bricks and pees Andrea Bocelli's tears. He looks like a diamond in the ruff if the diamond was a degenerate East-European trash bag. He looks like he cauterizes bad relationships. He looks like a feminized repoman from the Czech Republic got a cell phone distribution deal. He looks like a koala bear trainer who names everything "Claustrofreude!" He looks like his jaw is made out of jumbo shrimp. He looks like he can craft skull fragment sentences. He has a Cheerios bracelet collection yet claims his loyalty lies with the Cheetos panther. He looks like Ruben from American Idol covered in custard, Tapout energy drinks, and stale cigarette juice. He looks like a customer service agent at the Reno911 Parody Call Center. He looks like a bad dream's bad dream. He looks like the solution to an argument about torpedo guns as an agricultural tool. He looks like a Definitive Jux reject started a fan club for Stanley Kubrick's zucchini. He looks like his alarm clock has the words 'Lesbian Garrison Troops' on it. He looks like he has a pet marmaduke. He looks like Jimmy Ambriz melded with the gay mobster from Cowboy Bebop. Last edited by Vulgar; 11-03-2015 at 12:56 AM.

11-03-2015, 12:56 AM	#97
lovDicKO Capt'n Innapropriate Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Costa Rica... muda Fucka!!!! Posts: 18 Rep Power: 0	After reading some of yalls bullshit. I do have have to say I liked some of them. Shout out to vulgar and batty. @Knucklehead you suck