Witnessing serpents. (By Witty and Certain) - Page 2

Pharaohs Army · 02-28-2016, 11:14 PM

08-25-2014, 11:45 PM

Lol, i did not c that this is old.. Either way yw

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eŋg

(an interesting prosopopoeia in itself)
.
sort-of-parataxis

Thanks. Not only is it good that I now know what those mean, but the techniques in and of themselves are interesting tools.
Btw I'm being deadass &not sarcastic.

Just Write · 02-29-2016, 04:56 PM

i oo'd and aww'd throughout the entirety of this piece but this part here.....

I change addictions like underwear, addicted to nothing but addiction itself
In my youth writing was my life, I felt like diction was wealth
But how can I make people like my writing when I'm sick of myself?
So I write a few lines upon the page and then it sits on the shelf
Because I can't decide who I want to be, it's ridiculous...help!

*boing*

you know just the right things to say to me to get me going <3

Mr. J · 02-29-2016, 05:53 PM

I see you @Certain the vocab is impressive as always I really enjoyed the beginning of this
the first section after I got to (break beats) I had already thought that this had some old school Nas flow
Illmatic ish...

I've read all the text of Jesus, does God possess the thesis?
Or does one hypocritical verse mean all the rest is specious?

out of this whole verse this was my favorite segment.
something about it just speaks to me on so many levels as I looked it over
I think the most impressive part of this was how you blended your verses together
I am still unsure of where Certain ends & @Witty begins.....
after scrolling back up I see how this was done now thanks to Eng...
I feel like @Witty could have built more on that opening line & brought a strong impact
@Certain has a more calculated process when it comes to how his verse builds up..
I can see how this all played out now. Really nice work from both of yall though

but this marionette remains high-strung and tightly wound.
I'm lost. I might be found. But it won't be by a righteous crowd.
It won't be by a burning bush. First we took the light from town,
then we walked along the path, jotting every sight and sound.
^^^
that portion was pretty smooth nice work fellas

02-29-2016, 05:53 PM	#23
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	I see you @Certain the vocab is impressive as always I really enjoyed the beginning of this the first section after I got to (break beats) I had already thought that this had some old school Nas flow Illmatic ish... I've read all the text of Jesus, does God possess the thesis? Or does one hypocritical verse mean all the rest is specious? out of this whole verse this was my favorite segment. something about it just speaks to me on so many levels as I looked it over I think the most impressive part of this was how you blended your verses together I am still unsure of where Certain ends & @Witty begins..... after scrolling back up I see how this was done now thanks to Eng... I feel like @Witty could have built more on that opening line & brought a strong impact @Certain has a more calculated process when it comes to how his verse builds up.. I can see how this all played out now. Really nice work from both of yall though but this marionette remains high-strung and tightly wound. I'm lost. I might be found. But it won't be by a righteous crowd. It won't be by a burning bush. First we took the light from town, then we walked along the path, jotting every sight and sound. ^^^ that portion was pretty smooth nice work fellas __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

02-29-2016, 04:56 PM	#22
Just Write Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,709 Battle Record: 9-12 Rep Power: 4997617	i oo'd and aww'd throughout the entirety of this piece but this part here..... I change addictions like underwear, addicted to nothing but addiction itself In my youth writing was my life, I felt like diction was wealth But how can I make people like my writing when I'm sick of myself? So I write a few lines upon the page and then it sits on the shelf Because I can't decide who I want to be, it's ridiculous...help! boing you know just the right things to say to me to get me going <3