05-13-2023, 01:58 AM | #1 |
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XI WK VIII: Dope girl (3-3) vs. Sinacog (2-3) [DOPE GIRL WINS VIA K.O]
Season 11 XI VERSES DUE BY: Saturday, May, 20th, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 24 Hour Ext: Mod/Opponent Discretion VOTES: Monday, May, 22nd, 11:59 P.M. Western / 2:59 A.M. Eastern / 7:59 A.M. UK. 3 Vote Requirement Enforced/Penalty MAXIMUM: 48 Lines: 64 IF AGREED UPON! TOPIC:
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05-15-2023, 12:52 AM | #2 |
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I just seen it check
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05-15-2023, 11:29 AM | #3 |
Sini
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A CAT AND MOUSe in a hungry house =- bludgeoned south for the winter
BLAZING blasting sun from the splinters; castrated from the soul of a spider THERE once' was a spider who loved the cat(TO DEATH) -- without a single breath THE CAT DIDN't min(D) -- the spider touched his heart -- his heart turned to a black spider.. REACTER WILD; intact vile -- the cat hated the spider; created a cypher HE STRUCK like a viper; VILE DEMONS SLAUGHTERED by the hand of a writer THE CAT HATES THE SPIDER: wished it would go away..far away THE cat slashed the spider in half.. the spider came back as a TARANTULA THE TARANTULA started saying curses to THE CAT.. why are you alive..react THE CAT SLASHED the tarnatula in half.. the CAT WAS CURSED..NO MORE |
05-20-2023, 08:08 PM | #4 |
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My Cat
"My Cat"
My cat look in the mirror She know that she is pretty My cat is witty She never lose her sense of humor My cat play the guitar She think she a Rockstar My cat is an Actress I watch her on TV She not only smart She is a piece of art My cat all that Looking fly in a hat I love her cause she is amazing My cat can dance She keeps it blazing She makes the other cats fall in love She got their heart beat racing Last edited by Dope girl; 05-20-2023 at 09:33 PM. |
05-21-2023, 09:57 AM | #5 |
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Sinacog - first, are you civil rawr?
there are a lot of rhymes in here that are just there to rhyme and don't make cohesive sense. the only topical tie is mentioning the cat, random capitalization... this is a mess and seems like a throw-away verse if you're NOT civil - as if you either you expected your opponent to do poorly or just not show. Dope girl why do you both use the word blazing this is more on topic - the cat is having attention doled upon it, and although your grammar and whatnot are atrocious, at least you stuck to the topic a lot better than your opponent. some things were too abstract IMO for the piece (playing guitar) and some things were heavy filler ("all that", "looking fly in a hat") so again, throw-away? although I've probably always ragged on your style I've also seen you do better than this. mvgt Dope girl |
05-21-2023, 10:31 PM | #6 |
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Thank for battle
Last edited by Dope girl; 05-21-2023 at 10:33 PM. |
05-22-2023, 12:14 PM | #7 |
SYRACUSE
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Mvgt dope girl
Pretty cool story and funny Sinacog didn’t really relate to the topic! Great battle
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05-22-2023, 12:31 PM | #8 |
Badgerdick
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I find this woman’s hand weird as hell. I hate the shape, all bony, and those false nails only exemplify that horrendous trail for me. They’re completely trashy too, baby pink with some sort of leopard print like that’s ever been a great combination. Yuck. I really hate those hands. Wish I hadn’t seen them. How does the cat just sit there like that, with those hideous tendrils coming through it’s fur? Anyway, horrendous topic, let’s get that out of the way and see what we have here…
Sinacog: I tried my best to accept the whole ‘spider’ thing you had going on. I could sort of see it with those nasty ass fingers being like spindly spider legs I guess at the start, but once we get into the whole “spider was cut in half and turned into a tarantula,” thing you lost me here to be honest. I kept tarantulas as pets, they are spiders, and I’m all for a little poetic licence here and there to bend the rules in favour of the storyline somewhat but I found this plot somewhat difficult to follow in relation to the picture. I tried, I sincerely tried. Believe me. For what it’s worth this was a marked improvement on the usual semen demon religious blue dragon that rears its head frequently, I think perhaps NYC had that base covered this week so it was cool to see you experiment a little and at least introduce some more characters for us to scratch our heads over. Robranda: I like cats. I have one. It’s great to know you like them too. I find my own cat amazing also, mine is a girl. She is a tortoiseshell and has one eye a different colour to the other. Cool, eh? But enough about me. This is about CATS. I don’t think a great deal more needs to be said here, the shorter lines flowed better than your opponents, gave it more of an implied rhythm when read aloud, it was more directly relatable to the topic at hand and you also grounded it firmly in (your) reality which makes it universally accessible. I’m voting for Robranda here, short and sweet (like a kitten). |
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