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05-08-2023, 07:20 AM
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#10 | ||
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Everything's Connected
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Niagara Falls, Canada
Posts: 999
Battle Record: 19-8
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Rep Power: 10178702   |
Quote:
Apologies to everyone on here. I hope the rest of you are well. The WGA Strike has paused my screenwriting for the moment so I came back to find, well... whatever all of this is. Pipe bomb: Pharoahs Army: Flow was much better here than sym's. But you're an audio guy so that's to be expected. I appreciated the brackets as optional content too because the verse could be read both ways and when I saw one I read the line twice. I think you should've exploited this method more actually and even made it a theme for the piece... But that would be a level of creativity that you just don't possess, my friend. I thought this was stale and stagnant; a Wikipedia entry to a bombing with little to no heart and told like a robot who knows about syllable counts. There was no story here... It was a research project that you tried to dress up with Bold lettering and Italics; Even repeating your final line multiple times like it meant something. It didn't. Lars pulled this off beautifully in his piece and gave it impact... You just seemed like you copied that strategy but without any real thought as to WHY it works and HOW to execute it. I honestly felt like you Google'd some article and copied and pasted down the cool sounding lines and looked to see where the connections were in terms of rhyming, then spun it together with loose wording to make yourself sound smart. I'm not buying it, buddy. This reeked of laziness and you've gotten away with it here with these other idiots voting but guess what? Shit gets real when Uni steps in the room. So here it goes: I think you're all talk with nothing to back it up, someone who states his case somewhat intelligently but is immediately swayed by anyone else that has a difference of opinion. I think you write like this too... I think you're scared to be you and I think you want to be perceived by people in a certain way but can't ever seem to execute your intentions, because you're in way over your head yet can't admit it to yourself. You're not smart enough to know you're not smart enough. It's harsh but it's true. And you need to hear it. It's only when we shed the skin we are clinging to are we free to rebuild ourselves how we see fit. Tell us about YOU next time, using your topic as a proxy. Let us in. You will do well. You've DONE well doing this before. Stop with the excuses. No one cares. If you're here, WRITE... Otherwise just go away. We don't need your percentages on if you'll show up or not. Nobody gives a fuck about you. I'm 100% sure of that. In the end, symetrik is a better writer than you, he just needs refinement. You're more practised in your approach but you're not authentic (yet). I won't vote for your fabrication of creativity. I'll vote for the only creator in the room. Vote:*symetrik * PA please learn from this. Don't just try to defend yourself in the chat after you read this. Ignore that Instinct. Trust me... it's for the best. http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=152263
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