WEEK THREE CONTENDERS: LUCIPHER HOWLZ 2-0 vs UNIVERSE 2-0 UNI WINS VIA NS

Adverse · 11-25-2020, 03:40 AM

AOWL Season IX

@Universe @Lucipher Howlz

Verse Due: TUESDAY DECEMBER 1ST @ 11:59PM EST

Line min: 10

Max: 50

Rules:http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145451[/b]

Topic:

Good luck!

Universe · 11-25-2020, 01:41 PM

Interesting...

Check.

Lucipher Howlz · 11-25-2020, 05:29 PM

This is different. Check

Universe · 12-01-2020, 04:44 PM

Submerged

"We are all bodies of water, guarding the mystery of our depths... but some of us have more to guard than others." - Deborah Smith

......

Arthur

My home is a fishbowl, sitting alone near a window made parts of me softer
My reflection and the ocean merged to create a body of water
Every single bone keeps aching; My keepsake is a black box on my dresser
Reminding me I lost my son to a Black Man... but that's all I remember
Had years of substance abuse, now I keep Trident gum in my room
Each one's a memento informing me I can possess whatever I choose...
I want to open the floodgates, but I don't think my words are that fluid
They say water has no shape yet I always circle back to it
I don't view past articles in newsprint... all the dumb shit they wrote
I was told it's either sink or swim for me, but what if it's both?
My left hand was severed, but not showing all limbs left me stumped
Almost as much as my wife leaving with "uncloseable rifts" between us
They said I drank like a fish to cope, if so I would never be sober
If you get my drift... I keep my friends close and memories closer
A hand heats up my cold shoulder - Mareena, I knew her face in a second
But I'm missing some basic element to make the connection... (hmm)
She said, "I'm granting your death wish..." Some people are coerced to the brink
Determined to be together, but only linking below the surface of things
It hurts to keep it locked up inside, eager for water I cry
The black box at my side hides the truth I don't want her to find (yet)
I'm a product of my environment... an unheard of agreement
Cuz for me, food for thought pools atop the surface, uneaten...

Mareena

You're going off the deep end, a wave of emotion which you're entitled to
But origins don't define truth any more than diving boards define a pool
My mom was your primary caregiver, she said you were part of an elite group
And that black box under her supervision nobody would ever see through
Then mom passed away in her sleep; Soon I became your doctor and aide
I don't believe you lost your mind, Arthur... I think you locked it away
You have water on the brain, lungs riddled with cystic fibrosis
Your body's giving you an eviction notice; I delivered the diagnosis
Huntington's disease - It represents degeneration of nerve cells in the brain
Like a runaway train... even steps from heaven one's hell can remain
It’s insane to grant your death wish; I dropped to my knees and just wept
But it's not feasible to deny you something I can't seem to accept
I smuggled you to the beach, your cool facade unleashed tsunamis beneath
If I seeped an extra litre to your bloodstream you would probably leak
Reached the sea, the water broke like a pregnancy no pills could erase
Echolocation, you submerged and raised up a pillar of strength
You smiled, unlocked the black box and reached your right hand toward me
Then said, "I'm sorry for the untimely warning, but this is my life story"
I opened the box to comics and newspapers from around the world
My jaw agape, headlines proclaim, 'Aquaman Saves Drowning Girl!'
'Black Manta Kills Aquababy' – It’s not the right way to get news
Yet there's you, Trident of Neptune with a modified plated wetsuit
A note read, 'To Mareena, my daughter... you think that name was a fluke?'
'Baby even your mother knew what was in this black case was for you...'
Then you took off like a typhoon, it was like seeing an undertow lift
But what went over my head was now just water under the bridge
Thought I had a selfish father, turns out, he was just one of the fish
Coming to grips, I looked at the water and whispered...

"Son of a bitch..."

Scar · 12-06-2020, 11:54 PM

this is really good, Uni. It read like a character sketch written with philosophical musing. lots of really cool lines to be honest. it was written with strong theme. This verse seems to touch on the ramifications of trauma. Aquaman is my least favorite Justice League member so i went in not thinking i would like this but you changed my mind, my man. This was an exceptionally written piece of work. Good job, Uni. you haven't lost your stride. always a pleasure my man.

11-25-2020, 03:40 AM	#1
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,741 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446143	WEEK THREE CONTENDERS: LUCIPHER HOWLZ 2-0 vs UNIVERSE 2-0 UNI WINS VIA NS AOWL Season IX @Universe @Lucipher Howlz Verse Due: TUESDAY DECEMBER 1ST @ 11:59PM EST Line min: 10 Max: 50 Rules:http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=145451[/b] Topic: Good luck!

11-25-2020, 01:41 PM	#2
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 999 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178702	Interesting... Check. __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..

12-01-2020, 04:44 PM	#4
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 999 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178702	Submerged "We are all bodies of water, guarding the mystery of our depths... but some of us have more to guard than others." - Deborah Smith ...... Arthur My home is a fishbowl, sitting alone near a window made parts of me softer My reflection and the ocean merged to create a body of water Every single bone keeps aching; My keepsake is a black box on my dresser Reminding me I lost my son to a Black Man... but that's all I remember Had years of substance abuse, now I keep Trident gum in my room Each one's a memento informing me I can possess whatever I choose... I want to open the floodgates, but I don't think my words are that fluid They say water has no shape yet I always circle back to it I don't view past articles in newsprint... all the dumb shit they wrote I was told it's either sink or swim for me, but what if it's both? My left hand was severed, but not showing all limbs left me stumped Almost as much as my wife leaving with "uncloseable rifts" between us They said I drank like a fish to cope, if so I would never be sober If you get my drift... I keep my friends close and memories closer A hand heats up my cold shoulder - Mareena, I knew her face in a second But I'm missing some basic element to make the connection... (hmm) She said, "I'm granting your death wish..." Some people are coerced to the brink Determined to be together, but only linking below the surface of things It hurts to keep it locked up inside, eager for water I cry The black box at my side hides the truth I don't want her to find (yet) I'm a product of my environment... an unheard of agreement Cuz for me, food for thought pools atop the surface, uneaten... Mareena You're going off the deep end, a wave of emotion which you're entitled to But origins don't define truth any more than diving boards define a pool My mom was your primary caregiver, she said you were part of an elite group And that black box under her supervision nobody would ever see through Then mom passed away in her sleep; Soon I became your doctor and aide I don't believe you lost your mind, Arthur... I think you locked it away You have water on the brain, lungs riddled with cystic fibrosis Your body's giving you an eviction notice; I delivered the diagnosis Huntington's disease - It represents degeneration of nerve cells in the brain Like a runaway train... even steps from heaven one's hell can remain It’s insane to grant your death wish; I dropped to my knees and just wept But it's not feasible to deny you something I can't seem to accept I smuggled you to the beach, your cool facade unleashed tsunamis beneath If I seeped an extra litre to your bloodstream you would probably leak Reached the sea, the water broke like a pregnancy no pills could erase Echolocation, you submerged and raised up a pillar of strength You smiled, unlocked the black box and reached your right hand toward me Then said, "I'm sorry for the untimely warning, but this is my life story" I opened the box to comics and newspapers from around the world My jaw agape, headlines proclaim, 'Aquaman Saves Drowning Girl!' 'Black Manta Kills Aquababy' – It’s not the right way to get news Yet there's you, Trident of Neptune with a modified plated wetsuit A note read, 'To Mareena, my daughter... you think that name was a fluke?' 'Baby even your mother knew what was in this black case was for you...' Then you took off like a typhoon, it was like seeing an undertow lift But what went over my head was now just water under the bridge Thought I had a selfish father, turns out, he was just one of the fish Coming to grips, I looked at the water and whispered... "Son of a bitch..." __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future.. Last edited by Universe; 12-01-2020 at 04:48 PM.

12-06-2020, 11:54 PM	#5
Scar Senior Member Join Date: May 2019 Posts: 530 Battle Record: 7-5 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5689706	this is really good, Uni. It read like a character sketch written with philosophical musing. lots of really cool lines to be honest. it was written with strong theme. This verse seems to touch on the ramifications of trauma. Aquaman is my least favorite Justice League member so i went in not thinking i would like this but you changed my mind, my man. This was an exceptionally written piece of work. Good job, Uni. you haven't lost your stride. always a pleasure my man. __________________ I remember the poplar trees

11-25-2020, 05:29 PM	#3
Lucipher Howlz Member Join Date: Mar 2018 Posts: 89 Rep Power: 4050148	This is different. Check