10-09-2020, 03:22 PM | #1 |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
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NBL WEEK 2 MAG: KANYE IS A GENERATIONAL TALENT
Kanye is a Generational Talent
I can see it now... INTRO What’s up guys? Week 1 was a YUGE success. 3 no-shows out of 20. Frac, Cred and Allen Knight. That’s great considering those three were going to not show up no matter what. Everyone voted early and often, taking advantage of voting bonuses. Week 2 promises to be strong. We have several notable sign-ins including Ajax and Orc, which I am looking forward too heavily. Some great matchups this week to check out which I will be previewing. This week we have Reviews, Previews, Top 10 Punches, Battler Intros for notable sign-ins, Throwback Verse, and some other notable stuff in the mag this week. We had several sign outs due to real-life obligations, but with the additions we are at over 20 current members this week. That is the magic number to be honest. Week 4 we will unveil the ACTUAL rankings. There needs to be some length before the algorithm will actually take effect. For now, I will do power rankings. Once week 4 rolls around the rankings will be set in STONE. Your rank will reflect your position in the league in regards to playoffs. Remember, EIGHT battlers make the playoffs, with a 9 and 10 seed play-in. So you’re never out of it. Stay in, vote, show-up and you will have a shot. Champ matches will also begin week 4, for those that are wondering. Let’s get to it!!! New Notables Ajax AKA Adonis AKA DUKELAW This man has been around longer than you. Face it. Ajax is a corporate lawyer, who somehow found time to write this season. Known for fantastic wording, he drips swagu in every bar. If you are retarded, some of his stuff will go over your head. That was his downfall in SC. He champed UPN’s April Isolation tournament by ousting Fracture and Blue Bayou in a 3-way champ match. The guy is a legend and one of my all-time favs. Also, a great friend to have on Facebook. Welcome back, DUKELAW. Orc AKA Hades No intro needed on Netcees. A favorite everywhere he goes. Super witty, and do not give him your picture. He will roast you. Orc has a tendency to not show-up. I’m hoping that this doesn’t happen because he’s an asset to any league. If he sticks around, he is a favorite to champ. Looking forward to laughing this week at what he puts together. Sinacog AKA THE DRAGON AKA THE DRAGON AKA DRAGON BLOOD This man will burn you. Ouch The wall-talking champion. Terribly nice guy, and when he’s sober he can actually write. He’s witty and puts together solid work. Again, only when he’s sober. His grammar has been solid lately so I’m expecting some good stuff from him upon entry. Definitely a guy you want to root for. The following are also new additions. Don’t be offended, I don’t know many names as I’ve been out of the loop for 12 years: Jaysonfresh Brokenhal0 Slecht ispaz Black mask Ynot Write well and you will get your mag recognition, no doubt. Battle Reviews Spree VS Wanderer Two of my fav participants. This battle was fairly competitive. Nobody shot off the page, but there was a lot of consistency. Wanderer’s disses were light but he had some cool concepts and his wording is getting better each battle. Just wasn’t enough here. Spree had the same idea but his punches just hit a bit harder. The Zuch legs bar made me chuckle, and he had some other slick stuff. Those exclamation points gotta go though my guy. Other than that it was a decent verse. Got the W and is on to Week 2. Barcotic VS Universe Barcotic came decent here. Love the hockey references. Kraken jerseys was nice and I laughed at the held it down bar. Sank shins is weak though and you tend to always have a couple wtf bars. Some cool hits though. Universe is getting a lot better from previous matches. He’s starting to warm up a little bit but still some work to do. Stick around brother, I’m seeing improvement and pretty soon you’ll be seeing W’s. Hush VS Ryno Hush, the totem pole bar was stupid fire. Rest of the verse was alright. Couple decent jabs. Ryno was consistent and this was close, but he just didn’t have anything that jumped out. Stick and move. 1 or 2 haymakers and he could have taken this. Ryno hasn’t battled since SC I don’t think and he’s a powerhouse at times so I expect to see him step it up in weeks to come. Cool battle. Adverse VS Blue Bayou Adverse is one of my fav people. Always going in and getting it done. This week he had a tough opponent in Blue. Blue came with some fire. Cool heads and shady McCoy made me LOL. Adverse hung in there nicely with very few misses, just didn’t have enough firepower to hang. I expect both of these guys to do well this season as it progresses, and Adverse is definitely a playoff contender. Blue will be battling for the belt at some point. Good work fellas. UserName VS INF Username had some jokes this week. Search in the woods was my fav but really the first 6 bars were all fire. Went the emo route on INF which has happened a lot. Did it well though. INF dissed User’s weight mostly. When you do that though, it’s gotta be dope. Appetite was the only haymaker worthy line. The rest was decent, but again, fat jokes are tired so it’s gotta have extra heat on it. INF came decent but he’s just warming up. Got a big dog out of the way and sky is the limit. User off to a fast start. Good battle boys. Aero VS Dave Aero set the scene again. Hilarious verse. Opener and 1% had me dying. Aero can write when he wants to, and this made me laugh. Dave came with one of his better verses. When he comes correct he’s hard to beat, and he did that here. Taken aback and Wanton abandon were the highlights. Expect Dave to be top tier this year, based on his recent pic league showing. He’s ready for the big dogs after a nice week 1 win. Sharp VS Corleone Corleone is trash. Sharp came with VOTW in my opinion. Opener was LOTW. I’ve been a Sharp supporter since I got here. Love his style and wit. It’s UPNesque. I expect Sharp to be a big dog this season and fly under the radar. I don’t know why though, I’ve liked everything this guy has put out. He is my dark horse to win the league if he stays consistent. Cancer line was just bonkers, man. No-Show Shine TOP iLL DRAGSTER VS Allen Knight NBL is crowded, and I don’t mean to be brash I saved you a seat, got it off your cousin at the scene of the crash Nobody likes your style, I can’t stress it enough Showed it to Ouch and he was like “Thsebar s are diprresing as fkk” I’m a heat maker, you’re required to tag along Because the last fire stick you put together got you fired from Amazon Im a shooter, you play games at home on the couch I roll with a NERF gun too, but mine will make you foam from the mouth Not original, you’re a carbon copy front and center Of all people you bit Barc’s style, difference is he does it better I got a dozen cookin’, fresh lines that’ll crush this woman Now let’s see how you handlebars off the dome, we know that your cousin couldn’t Destroyer VS Fracture This faggot can’t hurt me at all with a miscarriage punch. if I need to hear a baby cry I’ll just peep ur next battle w/knuck des good with the blade. Removing the heart, head & lungs cut the sure from ur name, but when I cut, I’m sure to leave frac shunned fuck zooch. I run this league. It’s time that u know this. ur style some local band shit. Long lines to the bar, yeah. but no hits classic 44 mag will keep this fag under pressure so even though this cannoli still ain’t ever leaving w/ des hurt push the barrel between his eyes while I scream at this chump bitch u gonna be a poll watcher with or without a request from Trump this dude is screaming for dick like some faggot plane in tailspin ur like the dems in this election just fucking begging to get the male in Thought u were a text god. So I looked for quotes to try and pull Bro. ur the definition of a legend. Historical, just not at all verifiable Top 10 Punches 10 . Got no one on social media. Friends disinterest must be tough to swallow For your people, that twitter’s like your punches. One look and it’s ‘I don’t follow’ - Sharp VS Corleone 9 . calm under pressure, won't lose it to a midget that’s phony trust me guys i’ma keep a cool head.. Ad’s in my fridge as trophy - Blue Bayou VS Adverse 8 . fuck zooch. I run this league. It’s time that u know this. ur style some local band shit. Long lines to the bar, yeah. but no hits - Destroyer VS Fracture 7 . He’s a fucking joke, and never been big in the hood Only parties he gets invited to, are to help search for kids in the woods - User VS INF 6 . His chick a animal wit the mouth work ... dumb but her brains great Im toting poles.. she a totem pole . Known for repeated head In the same place - Hush VS Ryno 5 . Who tf even made this battle? It aint fair Last time he held it down, he was passing a daycare - Barcotic VS Universe 4 . Most wont admit to hearding plump chicks but this fucking herb just loves it I haven’t seen such a display of wanton abandon since he dumped his girl in public - Dave VS Aero 3 . I can leave a bitch easily, I'm never lacking for sex Last time you cut ties with a bitch you helped her get back at her ex - Aero VS Dave 2 . NBL is crowded, and I don’t mean to be brash I saved you a seat, got it off your cousin at the scene of the crash TOP iLL VS Allen Knight 1 . Been a whiny bitch since ‘96. Still got the same style bro Id call you a cancer of text, but that would imply some growth - Sharp VS Corleone UPN Throwback Ajax VS Nate You formed UPN.... Congrats. That was REALLY a moment... And you still pay all the bills. Even though, for 20 years, I’ve legally owned it. So, thank you for your service, friend... This loss is your rite of passage like the easement I granted you to work for UPN. But, you don’t belong here anymore. Your wit lacks variety; You’re lost around this legend. Shit, you missed the map, entirely. You’ve been gassed up. With a massive dosage... You so ugly, you’ve been on more bad dates than the Nazis tried to poison Indiana Jones with. So, let’s get personal. Yes... I’m a lawyer and I rant politically. You’re a stand up guy in the back of taxicabs with Mini Me. Your name’s Rodriguez. But this ain’t no true essay. You can’t even write a decent line. And you’ve had a crush on Aloe for two decades. You’re a NAMBLA legend. I’m Cassius Clay — back in session... I never drop the ball. My verses get Immaculate Reception. With me. Every punch is papal; both holy AND something fatal. That’s why this melee will end with a mayday like the month of April. And, listen. I know we all gotta eat... But, when your lady sits down for dinner, there’s more mass production than the Model T. Try to talk shit. You can hardly attack. Your girls a freak of nature. TyTy and the clowns at Netcees call her Carnival Act. I don’t even need to get mad. I always drop with a hero’s force; And right now, I’m at the end of my rope playing tug of war with a philipino dwarf. This verse was more mind blowing than Hemingway’s blast to the mouth. You’ve already killed Native off....Time for Evolution to start tappin’ it out. POWER RANKINGS 1. Blue Bayou 2. UserName 3. Sharp 4. Dave 5. Destroyer 6. Barcotic 7. TOP iLL DRAGSTER. Battle Previews BATTLE OF THE WEEK Barcotic VS Hush They hate eachother. This is Battle of the Week. Both guys are HOFers. Hush has the edge since he’s been hot lately. But don sleep on Barc. He can come out of the woodwork with heat. Hush -240 Orc VS Jaysonfresh I don’t know much about Jaysonfresh. Nothing, actually. Orc is another HOFer that thrives on humor and wit. I have Orc as a heavy favorite here. Looking for Jay to prove me wrong. Orc -500 Sharp VS UserName Oh man. These guys are hot right now. Looking forward to this battle most this week. Sharp has crisp wording and smart concepts. User with flow, humor and scheme. This one could literally go either way. Can’t wait. UserName -110 Brokenhal0 VS Adverse Don’t know Brokenhal0 yet. Seen him around the board here and there. Adverse is getting better each week. I expect him to get a W here and get back to .500 in week 2. Mac VS TOP iLL DRAGSTER League’s handsomest against the league’s idiot. Mac has great concepts and is off to a hot start. Top got a no-show win in week 1 with a dope verse. Mac always shows up so we will see what happens here. I have Top iLL. TOP iLL -300 Dave VS Blue Bayou Oh yeah. Another hot battle. Dave is a huge up and comer. Blue is a cemented legend. This could go either way depending on which Dave shows up. I think he has something to prove here so I expect some heat. Gonna go Blue though based on consistency and wording. Blue -180 Destroyer VS Spree Nice one here. Des had a nice verse last week and is hungry to decimate an opponent. Spree didn’t have his best last week so he’s ready to bring heat and get to 2-0. Destroyer is going to bring it though I know. I got him based on firepower. Spree could pull the slight upset though. Destroyer -140 Ryno VS INF Two cool ass dudes. Both these guys open up 0-1 and are trying to stay above water as they face off. INF has dope concepts with wording being his Achilles heal. I really like Ryno’s stuff. He’s rusty, but I expect him to shake it off and get to 1-1 this week. Ryno -140 Wanderer VS Universe Wanderer is up and down, but known to get hot when he’s in the hole. Universe puts a lot into his verses and is trying to get it to all come together. Will be tough against a seasoned guy like Wanderer. I got Wanderer getting to 1-1 this week. Wanderer -240 ispaz VS Sinacog Don’t know ispaz. But if he shows up he wins. Sinacog is the dragon king but he’s also having a hard time on the battle scene. ispaz -800 Ouch VS Ynot Ouch is sober I think. He can write when his head is clear, which it seems like it is. Ynot is obviously an alias. Not sure who, though. I got Ouch here based on what I know. Ouch -210 Ajax VS Slecht Ajax is a legend. He’s back again and will be bringing unlimited swag. I expect him to champ at some point if he stays in. I don’t know much about Slecht. Gonna be a tough first week for him. Ajax -1,000 OUTRO Shout out to UserName for help with the memes. Great job to everyone who voted and showed up in Week 1. This week has plenty of fire battles so let’s do the thing. Good luck everybody. Hope you enjoyed the mag! Zuch
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Last edited by UPN Zuch; 10-09-2020 at 03:25 PM. |
10-09-2020, 03:44 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 480
Battle Record: 7-12
Rep Power: 1856619 |
dopeee props great work dude
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10-09-2020, 03:45 PM | #3 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,091
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Fuck me some of these memes are INCREDIBLE
very very entertaining mag Zuch... really creating a lot of buzz and positive momentum early so raspek A lot of dope bars and great showings last week by everyone...props all should be a fun season |
10-09-2020, 04:11 PM | #4 |
GOAT
Join Date: Jul 2015
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Orc vs Jayson Fresh is going to be ridiculous if both show.
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Too Rich IRL to Be Here. I'm Out.
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10-09-2020, 04:53 PM | #5 |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
Battle Record: 25-3
Champed - Now Or Never 2020
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Rep Power: 83701997 |
@JaysonFresh @Ajax @slecht @Black Mask @Sinacog @Ynot @brokenhal0 @iSpaz @Ryno @INF battle are up guys
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10-09-2020, 06:03 PM | #6 |
Gang shit on my brain
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 265
Battle Record: 10-11
Rep Power: 161231 |
Word
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But don't say I can't rap like I'm not a Rap God,
Like I won't break your fucking favorite rapper's rap jaw |
10-09-2020, 11:36 PM | #8 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
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Dope mag thanks for your great modding
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10-10-2020, 11:49 AM | #9 |
Needs no introduction
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Toronto
Posts: 4,494
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Lmao cool mag
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Dummies finna die if they coming into mine boastin Twin glocks'll spark. Waterpark; everybody running when the slides open |
10-10-2020, 12:55 PM | #10 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Great mag
Gone @ the memes |
10-10-2020, 01:03 PM | #11 |
Everything's Connected
Join Date: Nov 2017
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Great mag, Zuch. Inspiring :)
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..Passed the Present and Future.. |
10-11-2020, 09:52 AM | #12 |
Junior Member
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Dope job man
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10-11-2020, 11:01 AM | #13 |
FUCK YOU
Join Date: Feb 2015
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Great work here. Appreciate the work
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10-11-2020, 02:46 PM | #14 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Champed - The Ultimate Writer
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had no idea you were in smp too that's dope
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10-11-2020, 03:42 PM | #15 |
FUCK YOU
Join Date: Feb 2015
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Dave and I started it back in 88 on EZBoards with RZA and Pimp C
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10-12-2020, 02:57 AM | #16 |
Senior Member
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Word the two original SMP members got tattoos to prove it
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10-15-2020, 07:25 AM | #17 |
Needs no introduction
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Location: Toronto
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@Destroyer
You do like my bars, yo It just took me being Hollywood or Salamander for a few weeks You were all like 'dope, dope, dope, meh, dope...' lmao It's okay tho. I need you here, just as you are. Hate completes me
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Dummies finna die if they coming into mine boastin Twin glocks'll spark. Waterpark; everybody running when the slides open |
10-15-2020, 07:49 AM | #18 |
NJ Devil
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But he said write in the vote the bars were not good bro
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Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
10-15-2020, 08:21 AM | #20 |
Bags will be avenged
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Ohhhh, now you were Sal?
Riiiiight |
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