I don't see a way out...

[Amen]

Originally Posted by Inno

Fucks these nigga finny

When I’m feeling down I smoke real rocks,M

What’s good, bro?

[Victor.]

Originally Posted by PancakeBrah

Sorry to hear about your plight, Finnydot.

Typically what helps me during times of feeling blue is having online avatars say 'Keep your head up, man' or 'Be grateful for what you have', and reading petty online arguments about Discord chats. Try doing that.

Lol



Best wishes finnski

[Objective]

In case you need it, here's a toll free US hotline for people in distress: 1-800-273-8255

Not sure how serious you are but just in case: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Life is limited, eternity is endless. You will be missed by your family and especially your son that will grow up without a father, and may even start developing issues of his own. I'm not trying to guilt trip you or anything, I know how it is to be where you're at right now but that's the reality of it. And I know you don't want to pass that on, and I know you want to be there for him if he should find himself in the same place when he's your age. If you can't live for yourself at the moment (cus this is temporary too), maybe you can find motivation to do it for him?

Housing, your relation with your son, debt to your brothers/family are all things that can be fixed. Also remember that it takes time to get out of the rut, about the same time it took for you to get to where you are now, sometimes shorter, or longer, life just sucks sometimes but the key here is that you'll get out of it.
It ain't all negative tho, it's not always going to be like this, and in a year or two (or shorter), when this has passed, your economy is back on track and the heartache regarding your sons mother has calmed down you will most likely look back on this with a completely different mindset. You just got to allow yourself time to get back on track. And stop being so hard on yourself bruh, you're only a human, humans makes mistakes and unforeseen shit happens like getting fired. The good thing is that all of these issues are things that can be dealt with and most people here on NC got your back on this shit if you need someone to talk to.

We fuck around a lot but when it comes down to it we got you. Plenty of people have offered to let you PM them, me included although I'm not around as much anymore. Just don't give up, keep fighting and you'll get there with the proper mindset and the right people to help you out.

[Pakistani Hand Cannon]

Originally Posted by PancakeBrah

Sorry to hear about your plight, Finnydot.

Typically what helps me during times of feeling blue is having online avatars say 'Keep your head up, man' or 'Be grateful for what you have', and reading petty online arguments about Discord chats. Try doing that.

A wise-man can learn from a fool.

Or you know...

Just hide behind a veil of sarcasm all the time.

That'll do it.

[Bodey]

@Finnydot it took years for doctors to find the right combination and milligrams of meds to fit my needs, and it was an emotionally trying process. Unfortunately it’s not exactly a science. But once I landed, the first thing I thought about was “holy shit this must be how normal people feel.” Balance. Not crying over everything and being unable to stop. Way less anxiety attacks and not so deep of a depression spell. Pride has hit now and again and I tried weaning myself off, which was a terrible idea. Over the years I learned this is what I needed to do to stay right.

But it’s not just that, life requires coping skills. Situational depression and anxiety will obviously still occur. I’ve put holes in walls before despite being properly medicated. I go to the gym 3 tines a week to keep that kinda shit at bay. I work 40 hours a week and going to school for something I love. And I keep 2 good friends close for when I’m going through it and need to vent out morbid humor with someone who understands. Joking about your own trauma may not be healthy in the eyes of “normal” people but I can say it’s helped me not take myself so seriously. Attitude matters. I’ve been in some pretty dark places in my life and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back (after getting to the light at the end of the tunnel) and thinking man, I’m so glad I didn’t sabotage the fuck out of everything when I was goin through it.

Sorry to ramble. I’m in my phone so it’s hard to write. I got a dinky little iPhone 5SE over here. Vintage

[Ouch]

Originally Posted by Bodey

@Finnydot it took years for doctors to find the right combination and milligrams of meds to fit my needs, and it was an emotionally trying process. Unfortunately it’s not exactly a science. But once I landed, the first thing I thought about was “holy shit this must be how normal people feel.” Balance. Not crying over everything and being unable to stop. Way less anxiety attacks and not so deep of a depression spell. Pride has hit now and again and I tried weaning myself off, which was a terrible idea. Over the years I learned this is what I needed to do to stay right.

But it’s not just that, life requires coping skills. Situational depression and anxiety will obviously still occur. I’ve put holes in walls before despite being properly medicated. I go to the gym 3 tines a week to keep that kinda shit at bay. I work 40 hours a week and going to school for something I love. And I keep 2 good friends close for when I’m going through it and need to vent out morbid humor with someone who understands. Joking about your own trauma may not be healthy in the eyes of “normal” people but I can say it’s helped me not take myself so seriously. Attitude matters. I’ve been in some pretty dark places in my life and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked back (after getting to the light at the end of the tunnel) and thinking man, I’m so glad I didn’t sabotage the fuck out of everything when I was goin through it.

Sorry to ramble. I’m in my phone so it’s hard to write. I got a dinky little iPhone 5SE over here. Vintage

Thats no ramble thats a real life experience. With me I know what the answer is i'm depressed and always have been depressed, I have a ton of anxiety now but before this I never did.

I got addicted to drugs, pills... oxycontin at first, then all opiate pills and heroin for years. I quit that, I think its been like 9 years, but once I quit that I started drinking which prior I never drank except maybe like once a month if my girlfriend dragged me to a party or a bar. Maybe even less than once a month. But now I drink every single day and I've been to multiple different rehabs.. and talked to multiple different levels of shrinks and therapists. Doesn't work.

But my point is they diagnosed me with long term depression... gave me prozac.. and also a ton of other meds gabapentin was one i think, like 3 or so others, none of them being abuseable meds... and none of them worked but like I said I was never stone cold sober when I took them.

To me though drugs aren't the answer I'm not saying it can't help some people and when I've tried them I was fucked up anyway so I wasn't dealing with a clean slate... but I don't think its the answer

[Ouch]

keeping physically active and keeping a sleep/wake up regime to me is much more important and will go a long way.... jog, go to work, wake up at a certain time, go to sleep at a certain time... it'll do a lot for your mental health

[Ouch]

and i'm talking to myself as much as anyone else, for perspective... imgaine the last time you got really drunk, felt like an asshole and hardly remembered what you said, woke up with a hang over... now imagine doing that every single day... thats what I do... every day for years

and @Bodey one thing you might be missing is though, that even if someone wanted to get on depression meds or whatever... here in MURICA you can't do it unless you have money

[Ouch]

@Finnydot --- if you don't have a physical dependence on drugs or alcohol, you're way ahead of the game... ahead of the game i'm playing.

So it's just routine is key man jog everyday at a certain time and try to go to sleep at a certain time even if you aren't working. Me personally i'm all over the place based on work, and if i'm not working I might go to sleep at 5am and wake up at 1pm.. whatever the case may be and its not good... easier said than done but if you don't have a substance abuse issue then would be way easy to get ya shit straight, for me at least

[Geno]

Nigga. Get a good job that pays ur support and still allows you to pay rent. Once u find that u will be surprised how hard it is to fuck that up. Eapecially if its a cake ass job like i found. I got lucky. But still. I used to be exactly like you. Probably worse dude. Cause i was out breaking law like a mother fucker to support my habits and wilding out. But it all balanced out to have a bad job man. Not being able to provide for yourself even though you work a 9-5 takes a heavier toll mentally then you even realize. And once you find better. Something that actually allows you to pay rent and feed yourself even after child support. Well. Thats when u man the fuck up cause its either man up or go right back where u were. Shit. Idk. Folks may dissagree. But you need a better job dude.

[Ouch]

Originally Posted by Genocide

Nigga. Get a good job that pays ur support and still allows you to pay rent. Once u find that u will be surprised how hard it is to fuck that up. Eapecially if its a cake ass job like i found. I got lucky. But still. I used to be exactly like you. Probably worse dude. Cause i was out breaking law like a mother fucker to support my habits and wilding out. But it all balanced out to have a bad job man. Not being able to provide for yourself even though you work a 9-5 takes a heavier toll mentally then you even realize. And once you find better. Something that actually allows you to pay rent and feed yourself even after child support. Well. Thats when u man the fuck up cause its either man up or go right back where u were. Shit. Idk. Folks may dissagree. But you need a better job dude.

I agree with him... in my personal circumstance and I bet its worse than your is I run a whole entire househould. I haven't lived with my parents since I was 14 years old. And they've given me stuff, but we're talking 100$ in a mail some years for a birthday. Nothing.

My job that I have here, as a convicted felon is pretty good.. but it basically can't be done when the ground is frozen. And its frozen a lot, and so I supplment my income with doing some illegal things.... but the bottom line is theres no public housing here... I support my daughter and girlfriend on what I do, no government assistance. Am I happy no, am I depressed a lot of the time yes... I hate everyone including myself. But still its possible to move around and do things.

[Diablo]

Originally Posted by Genocide

Nigga. Get a good job that pays ur support and still allows you to pay rent. Once u find that u will be surprised how hard it is to fuck that up. Eapecially if its a cake ass job like i found. I got lucky. But still. I used to be exactly like you. Probably worse dude. Cause i was out breaking law like a mother fucker to support my habits and wilding out. But it all balanced out to have a bad job man. Not being able to provide for yourself even though you work a 9-5 takes a heavier toll mentally then you even realize. And once you find better. Something that actually allows you to pay rent and feed yourself even after child support. Well. Thats when u man the fuck up cause its either man up or go right back where u were. Shit. Idk. Folks may dissagree. But you need a better job dude.

weren’t you abusing dick pills and not heroin tho?

[Ouch]

lol if you're serious wow.. I was always afraid of taking viagra... like im not young, but i'm not old... and I have no dick problems, I always thought that if I took a vigara my shit would be hard for like 2 days and I couldn't go to work or wahtever

[Ouch]

weird that viagra scares me more than actual drugs

[Geno]

Not viagra..
A dick pill/energy supplement called libido max. I still take them from time to time for that extra rush of energy and shit. Shit gets you pumped. And you tear pussy walls down extra on them shits. Real talk.

Lmmfao @sraL. U got a good memmory fool lmao

Nah i had a heroin habit..opiod in general habit, basically. But heroin was easoest to get. So ya

[Victor.]

Wish death on ppl sure that karma won’t hit your children

[Amen]

Oh ok.

[~RustyGunZ~]

What happened to you having a kid hush? Karma kill it for telling people on rap forums you’d fuck their toddlers?

[uh-oh]

I'm working but I seen dick pills mentioned

Bluechew da god

[Ouch]

haha.. yup this thread went from infinity being depressed and talking about suicide to dick pills... thats what I like to see

nigga I go 0 to talkin bout dick pills, real quick, nigga real quick 0 to dick pills real quick (drake voice)

thats a banger