04-10-2019, 07:12 PM | #1 | ||
Upset Champion
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Mids
Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49
Accomplishments - 50 Wins
Champed - BA Rookie Tourney
- 1-2 Punch League (x2)
- Pandemonium Cypher
- 1-2 Punch league Season 9
Rep Power: 24894578 |
Week 4 Mag: Champ Edition
Flow Mags Presents…. The Champions Edition Well, that was an entertaining week lmao. Few implosions, may I remind you all this isnt just text but a fucking 1-2 league, the amount of upset and hurt this week was fucking LOLZ. Anyway, CHAMP WEEK, we have our first champ incoming and its between myself and King, kudos to you sir and good luck this week. We didnt get a contenders match in LR last week as there were too many tied, hopefully Spree will be setting those up though as we speak. On that note there will be a job going for anyone who would like to take over Spree due to his work commitments coming up, please let me know if you are interested. Anyway, on with the show. The 1-2 League Table - TOP 30 Power Rankings This week I have added colour coding to show when people have moved up or down in rankings. @King Battles: 3 Won: 3 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: +34 Rank: 1 @Flow Battles: 3 Won: 3 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: +24 Rank: 2 @Allen Knight Battles: 3 Won: 3 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: +16 Rank: 3 @Resin M-I-C Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 1 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: +9 Rank: 4 @Jabari Black Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +18 Rank: 5 @Blue Bayou Battles: 2 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: +9 Rank: 6 @Real Spit Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +8 Rank: 7 @Snitching is Gangsta Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +8 Rank: 8 @Dynamicz Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +7 Rank: 9 @Seth Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +7 Rank: 10 @Superboy Estar Legend Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +5 Rank: 11 @Ryno Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +3 Rank: 12 @Plot Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +2 Rank: 13 @Incredible Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: 0 Rank: 14 @Chyeahhh!!! Battles: 3 Won: 2 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: -4 Rank: 15 @Sharp Battles: 2 Won: 1 Won by NS: 1 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: +7 Rank: 16 @Ghost1 Battles: 3 Won: 0 Won by NS: 2 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: -3 Rank: 17 @Cred Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: +8 Rank: 18 @Blas Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: +7 Rank: 19 @zelti Battles: 2 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: +5 Rank: 20 @suthaveli Battles: 1 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 0 Votes Difference: 0 Rank: 21 @dominate Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -1 Rank: 22 [b @Killing Spree [/b] Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -3 Rank: 23 @MMLP Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -4 Rank: 24 @Barcotic Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -8 Rank: 25 @Maximus Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -9 Rank: 26 @Destroyer Battles: 3 Won: 1 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -9 Rank: 27 @Infiltrate Battles: 3 Won: 0 Won by NS: 1 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -5 Rank: 28 @BodySnatcher Battles: 3 Won: 0 Won by NS: 1 Lost: 2 Votes Difference: -11 Rank: 29 @Bleak Battles: 1 Won: 0 Won by NS: 0 Lost: 1 Votes Difference: 0 Rank: 30 Previews King vs Flow (CHAMP) I cant really write my own here, I do tend to like a personal angle, so depends if i can dig anything up. Ill have my little birds go out an listen to the whispers. Good luck King Allen Knight vs Resin M-I-C (c) This will surely be one of the dopest battles this week, hard to call who will win this as both are very consistent but I have to say AK has been really throwing some heat in this league so far so I am going to edge him this slightly. Barcotic vs Killing Spree Its like two of the same person, both have some crazy creativity, as I said last week Barcs can sometimes get the better of him but Spree is the same, i expect this to be most googled battle this week, just depends on spree showing and barcotic not doing something souper stupid. Jabari Black vs Blue Bayou These guys faced each other alot recently, I aint kept tabs but I imagine they are potentially both out for revenge for something or other, probably two of the best hitters here so they are likely to face each other again in a champ match soon. Be a dope match, interested to see where it goes. Real Spit vs Snitching is Gangster Real spit took one loss so far and then dropped in the rankings by about 7 places or something, tbh its all so close right now thats to be expected, i dont see him losing again here though with snit scraping by last week. Dynamicz vs Seth Really interested to see how this pans out, dyna one of the new school and definitely wins more then he loses, however seth is a vet who can still come fresh and most of all he has that personal touch, i think he might be abit too much for dyna this week, depends if dyna sticks with his gun bars or reaches for something a bit different. Superboy Estar Legend vs Ryno RYNO dropped like 5 minutes after i set the battle, props for speed man. This could go either way but ryno has beens steadily and subtley progressing an will be full of beans after last week, i see ryno taking this. Plot vs Chyeahhh!!! Two people who were rated low at the start and are now just taking upsets all over the shop, plots got black under his belt, chyeahhh has taken a few big names now. Hard to call where this one will go, im edging it netcees favourite conspirisist this week Sharp vs Ghost1 Actually really excited to see how this match up pans out, bags still hasnt had the chance to take a straight up win yet which is hurting his standing in the rankings, sharp is 2 to 0 and had a body for body last week… going to be interesting, no idea how this will end. Cred vs Blas Cred dropped absolute fire against probably one of the easiest people on here to beat, it was utter madness, total savagery. Blas is decent an was unlucky to have taken a L last week, but I dont see him beating Cred while he is throwing away fire for fun, Zelti vs Dregs Old adverseries who share a secret bromance so my birdies tell me, Z been busy busting parking fines out and Dregs AKA Inf is on a bit of a slump I am sure he is keen to rectify, i expect this to be a dope battle an edge it slightly to Dregs, think he be more hungry for it. MMLP vs Maximus MMLP got unlucky this week, an needs to make up for not voting by voting on every fucking battle or im heading up to wolves on train. Anyway, max is pretty decent actually, this is going to be a close battle but my gut edges it to max despite my bromance with MMLP. Sorry bro. Miss Netcees vs Pharaohs Army PA could actually take his first WIN an im sorry Miss Netcees but I am keen to see him get that confident boost, best of luck to both of yall Destroyer vs Joog Subtle fire battle here, joog signed out an back in again which I was glad to see, Destroyer had some unlucky losses recently, but was outclassed last week, think it was 7 to 0 or something, can see him wanting to make up for that this week and joog may still be rusty, edging it to des. BodySnatcher vs PunchHeavy No idea who punch is and body will be biting at the bit to get a body in, see brodie taking this unless punch catches him sleeping cus he some beasty vet on a alias trip. Flows UK Education Segment Now you are all fluent in cockney maybe you will appreciate this clip from austin powers a bit more… but probably now. UK SEGMENT QUIZ Blue Ryno and Sharp have been given a list of commonly used words from the UK, all they had to do was guess what they meant. Cracking Blue: Hitting on chicks Sharp: I'm gonna go with goofy/mad Ryno: On drugs? Lol thats good, very popular use in wales due to james cordens breakout show Gavin and Stacey Narky Blue: Someone who rats on ppl Sharp: I feel like 'narc' is too easy a connection so I'm gonna go for associative rhymes... car keys... which get lost.... so something easy to misplace? Ryno: means cool??? in a bad mood Gagging Blue: Hmm like a gagging order (shout-out Radiohead).. to give an order Sharp: I feel like this is like 'having a laugh'. screwing around? Ryno: joking around choking, like, she was gagging on my fat dick Trollied Blue: Gang bang Sharp: my first instinct is to say traveled to.. because trolleys do that... but then I realize that trolleys have tracks... albums have tracks.... I'll bum a smoke off of you mate... final answer Ryno: running being too drunk, eg... flow was trollied last night Gutted Blue: Heartbroken Sharp: I know this, when something's gutted it's all gone to bollocks, roight? Ryno: cut open feeling bad about something Ledge Blue: A wild man Sharp: rhymes with hedge.... these are bushes... unkept pubes... pelvic lice... tell you twice... two blind mice.... one got got... crock pot... oven mitt. final answer Ryno: of a window? Lol short for legend eg.. flow is a fucking ledge Bants Blue: Chit chat Sharp: gtfoh you're just making sound effects right now Ryno: ? chatting, usually where your teasing or insulting or roasting one another Bellend Sharp: I've heard this one before. Idiot? Blue: A dick head / loser / mug Ryno: ? the tip of your cock and usually used as an insult Plonker Blue: Dimwit / idiot Sharp: Penis Ryno: ? An idiot Manky Sharp: Also Penis Blue: Ugly Ryno: ? Disgusting Thingamajig Blue: A Doo dad Sharp: Lot of words for penis here Ryno: object that has a name that escapes me Anything you cant recall the name for Thats Pants Sharp: literally had this conversation during the short league and I'm stuck on 'bar was pants'... outlandishly silly Blue: Shitty news Ryno: Sinning life Kid term, for somethings not good Bog roll Blue: A cock Sharp: gonna go with 1. the most british snack there is 2. the most british sex position there is or 3. checking account. If any are correct I will take 1/3 of a point Ryno: stack of 100’s Toilet paper for wiping your ass Bollocks Blue: That's shit / complete crap Sharp: roight ya fukin cunts thats when its all shit now innit? Ryno: Sandra Your pride and joy, your balls an all that, anyway yeah its used for alot of things where you could use the word Shit. I think Blue edged the win here, sharp was close though, i enjoyed his cockney attempts. kudos. THE EDUCATION STATION Jabari Blacks Segment Last week, I focused on entendres, which is fitting because these week I’m going to focus on one that was done very well, and mainly highlight what was done right. I’ll also briefly touch on some slight wording issues that can be improved. To do this, I’m using bleak’s bar from the Lightning Round - which was one of my favorite bars this week. So here’s the bar.... Quote:
Once again, the goal here was to weave to separate concepts in a way that gives a certain word two different meanings. In this bar, bleak has 2 concepts/flips going on: The obvious one... 1. A mailman flip - mailman/open metal on top of the post (referencing a metal mailbox) And the one I think went over everybody’s head... 2. Karl Malone basketball flip - The Mailman (Karl Malone’s nickname)/Put a body on (referring to playing D in basketball)/Top of the post (spot on the court Malone dominated in) You also have this base meaning of bleak shooting the other guy but i didn’t include that because it’s technically not part of the entendre. Because bleak’s not a stranger to entendres and executed this one well, it’s pretty obvious by now that the entendre here is on the phrase “mailman” or “like the mailman”. So here’s what bleak did right... First, he set up his punch really well. If you’re going to use a complex punch, it needs to be crystal clear wtf you’re actually saying. Bleak uses entendres and a simile here, but it’s pretty clear that at the end of the day he’s saying he’s going to shoot Barcotic. Bleak keeps it simple and just paraphrases his punch my saying “I’ll let more spark on this frail fan”. Not only that, but he also sets up the sports reference. By saying “fuck ya sports bars” and “frail fan”, he’s pretty much letting readers know that a sports bar is coming. This is extremely helpful in this case because the sports bar theme is more subtle than the mailman theme in this bar, so this is needed so the Karl Malone flip doesn’t come out of the blue. Next, he ended the punch with the entendre. In this bar “like the mailman” has the double meaning so rule of thumb, you end the punch with the entendre itself. I touched on this last week, but the reason being is readers pay more and more attention as the bar progresses. Lastly, the punch itself (second line) was a executed well. Bleak has two separate phrases that he directly flip: “think u got a body on me” (playing into the basketball theme) and “Ill open metal from the Top of the Post”. Think you gotta body on me has he double meaning of “think you bout to beat/kill me” and getting physical with someone in the post position in basketball. The open metal from the top of the post with the double mailman meaning (it’s obv so I won’t explain again). Then to throw a cherry on top, “top of the post” also plays back into the b-ball flip. Critique wise, the punch was nice overall but could have benefited from some slight adjustments. First ‘top of the post’ somewhat has a double meaning, but you need to develop/set up the literal meaning more. Ie if you had mentioned being camped out, or shooting him from somewhere, i woulda better understood what you “from the top of the post meant”. Second, this is nitpicking and I prob would let it slide if this were a vote, but it bothers me personally lol: “open metal” not really a phrase you would normally say. Typically it’s the metal (or whatever gun) opens/open up. It’s clear what you mean but that’s prob just a personal preference. Lastly, “open the metal” works very well for the mailman meaning, but doesn’t tie into the b-ball reference. If you were able to modify this with something that works well for all 2(really 3) meanings, this woulda been even more deadly. Overall, this is some dope stuff from bleak. Really enjoyed breaking this bar down. Keep it up my nigga. Incredible - The man, The Legend So recently Incredible became incredibly hurt that he didnt have the write up he deserved in the PPV by Sharp. He spoke in detail about his incredible battling career, which has spanned 25 years (he is 30). For those not great at math that means he was battling when he was 5. He admitted to all of this before having a total mental breakdown because I have made his soul cry with my personals. It was entertaining. He does not do a good british accent. Hes also scared of black new yorkers it would seem. He also has a 145 wins to 49 loss record according to him, apparently he has kept count since he started at 5. He is also a previous champ at HF. There you go faggot, you have a write up. Final Thoughts I need a new mod for LR after this week, PM if your interested. I also am too busy today (hungover) to do reviews so if anyone wants too, pm me. I will do more in depth ones next week otherwise. Short mag this week by my standards but been mad busy an had no guest host, will sort a good one for next week. @Killing Spree feel free to edit in a LR section when free.
__________________
Last edited by Flow; 04-10-2019 at 07:14 PM. |
||
04-10-2019, 07:25 PM | #2 | |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624433 |
That bar was for you JB good shit
@Flow I'll send u a LR piece tonight
__________________
Quote:
like a woolah what it do to one’s medulla oblongata- revenge of Montezuma on a blotter
Last edited by bleak; 04-10-2019 at 07:46 PM. |
|
04-10-2019, 07:36 PM | #3 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 253
Battle Record: 6-10
Rep Power: 1112902 |
dope mag
good shit |
04-10-2019, 07:47 PM | #4 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,091
Battle Record: 41-24
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 3
- Alias Tournament II
- Fight Night XLVIII
- Fight Night XXV
- Fight Night XV
- Fight Night (3x)
- Netcees Battle League (4x)
- NBL Tag Team Season 3
- Lyric Olympics
- 1-2 Punch League (3x)
- Battle Arena League (2x)
- Key Grand Prix 2018 1/2
- BA Tag
- NPL Roast
- Netcees Pic League
Rep Power: 17502332 |
Close? I bodied that challenge I only got like 2 wrong
thanks Love Island good stuff Flow and JB
__________________
"I shit myself
I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback Uve won" -kungfugrip |
04-10-2019, 09:39 PM | #5 |
ZAAAAM
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,623
Battle Record: 6-10
Champed - What's That?! A Cypher!
Rep Power: 9877042 |
Props on mag
|
04-10-2019, 09:43 PM | #6 |
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 84
Rep Power: 608130 |
Good shit. Enjoyed the read
|
04-11-2019, 09:42 AM | #7 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26,349
Battle Record: 0-1
Rep Power: 84181442 |
ah shit I forgot to send british challenge thing lol
my bad dope mag props |
04-11-2019, 11:30 AM | #8 | |
Upset Champion
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Mids
Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49
Accomplishments - 50 Wins
Champed - BA Rookie Tourney
- 1-2 Punch League (x2)
- Pandemonium Cypher
- 1-2 Punch league Season 9
Rep Power: 24894578 |
Quote:
|
|
04-11-2019, 06:53 PM | #9 |
Tread Lightly.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,313
Battle Record: 26-9
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- Battle Arena
- Tag Team Tournament III
- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"
Rep Power: 18197456 |
LMAO @ the UK quiz.
These mags are dope, Flow.
__________________
The Bad Guys |
04-11-2019, 08:22 PM | #11 | |
yeet
Join Date: Mar 1993
Posts: 3,956
Battle Record: 20-34
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 17624433 |
Yeah @Innovator I was going to but probably not now, you can send him something
__________________
Quote:
like a woolah what it do to one’s medulla oblongata- revenge of Montezuma on a blotter
Last edited by bleak; 04-11-2019 at 08:25 PM. |
|
04-11-2019, 11:13 PM | #12 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,482
Battle Record: 6-15
Rep Power: 25972892 |
You forgot about the W over po*tense and the picture of a pterodactyl. But yeah cool mag, and another dope ass critique by JB. Props.
|
04-12-2019, 06:30 AM | #13 |
Upset Champion
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Mids
Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49
Accomplishments - 50 Wins
Champed - BA Rookie Tourney
- 1-2 Punch League (x2)
- Pandemonium Cypher
- 1-2 Punch league Season 9
Rep Power: 24894578 |
|
04-12-2019, 06:52 AM | #14 |
Tread Lightly.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,313
Battle Record: 26-9
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- Battle Arena
- Tag Team Tournament III
- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"
Rep Power: 18197456 |
What was your name on HF?
__________________
The Bad Guys |
04-12-2019, 06:55 PM | #15 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,482
Battle Record: 6-15
Rep Power: 25972892 |
|
04-12-2019, 07:38 PM | #16 |
ZAAAAM
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,623
Battle Record: 6-10
Champed - What's That?! A Cypher!
Rep Power: 9877042 |
|
|
|