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#1 |
loose leaf bruce lee
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,077
Battle Record: 7-6
Rep Power: 1853216 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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@Flo Real I guess where I felt this identity disolve was in the last few bars where you changed the grammatical perspective from "He" to "they"
it through me off.. but Im kinda nit picking a little.
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#2 |
Upset Champion
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Mids
Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49
Accomplishments - 50 Wins
Champed - BA Rookie Tourney
- 1-2 Punch League (x2)
- Pandemonium Cypher
- 1-2 Punch league Season 9
Rep Power: 24894581 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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@nO gOoD!
The verse is about one... hence I use "he" Then after this line- The others can see, the momentum builds and more ones start to believe, then one becomes three I go to they ;) |
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#3 |
Upset Champion
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: West Mids
Posts: 3,861
Battle Record: 57-49
Accomplishments - 50 Wins
Champed - BA Rookie Tourney
- 1-2 Punch League (x2)
- Pandemonium Cypher
- 1-2 Punch league Season 9
Rep Power: 24894581 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Thanks for feed fam Let me know if there's anything you need feeding back
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