01-05-2018, 12:05 AM | #1 |
rhyme capsule.
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happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing i know
write sober, edit drunk;
yet why even distinguish between the two states of mind when they combine? purported sobriety is merely intoxication with the oscillating false paradigm of reality thus if three addicts see each other simultaneously in the eye is it pineal? it's real if you know yourself; such is the law of solipsism but knowing what it isn't is not mutually exclusive to knowing what is, true. i've got issues you can't picture, trust. find scar tissue that i wish to cut. in the windiest gust my sword-arm stiffens up and i can't piss enough. i'm lit. i'm love. i'm it, i'm drugs; salvador's matador pushing the crimson lips apart for art imitates life limitates heart in the indifferent quasar of your strained insistent existence. talk. i'll fain to listen. feign fibbing angel inveigle whispers but mere mellifluous honeyed words coaxing your coquettish tongue to twist 'til it's lost its flavour spun around your cerebrum waiting for occam's razor to undo the occult favour. but you give yourself. you do. every spent soul imbued with self-loathing, sense soaked in dew from the previous evening's aqueous breathing. i’m actually leaving: in your hands, take my whole life, blow thrice for luck and throw dice – i’m fucked... but i’m alright. just tryna find a raison d’etre, or reason to better… myself or simply reason! unfetter the chains of thought and ease all the pressure obsessed with constancy in transient, seasonal weather. the air’s winter, my hair’s thinner, stare mirrors out as crisp breath blasts obscure intent glass. yet i’ve a cold dram of oban – word to an old man’s brandy rubbing gums on another son he wouldn’t love but his old hands did marry. writing’s cathartic as cliche as night is to darkness. my life’s in a harness: wife’s trying to harvest a slice of what’s most ripe in my garden but ardently i can’t let crackling carnal energy discharge anywhere else when my eyes start to target thus the primacy of lust must exhibit sovereignty over my armoury’s lot - would i rather be unarmed? probably not. honestly? i’m not honest. i’m not. refuse to acknowledge a sneeze if my sinuses popped. deceive myself with half-truths that i’ve tied into knots weaving a cryptic triptych till the tripartite decides the time is to rot. the only chime of the clock to adhere to is your own defining tick-tock, here… right in this spot, yea - and i’m bundling all mine into five-minute slots. but i ain’t tryna sign right on the dot with the same pen that wrote these letters. i am the ebb and the flow together, the cleft and the whole letting the world know that you are a part of all that you have met, all that you are yet to see. just let it breathe. |
01-05-2018, 05:58 PM | #2 |
White Earl
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Fuckin solid man. You have areally "mattar of fact" style of writing that i find unique to itself. Your shit flows but it doesnt. Idk. If i had to relate it with an artist. And i ate the person im gonna name but thats neither here nor there and take any offense to that. This is the onoy person atm i can think of whos audio reminds me of ur text when i read it.
But ya.. It reminds me of tyler the creator for some reason. The way he sounds is how i read your shit lmao. Anyway i thought this was dope. Pretty raw vocab and vicious syllable play. Good stuff
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01-05-2018, 07:00 PM | #3 |
obsessed
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Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
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wow that sucks that u 8 the person u almost never named fucka idiyote
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01-05-2018, 07:39 PM | #4 | |
GOAT
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Quote:
@enj I'll reply to this I just had to ask.
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Too Rich IRL to Be Here. I'm Out.
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01-05-2018, 08:34 PM | #5 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599679 |
shut up nyc
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01-05-2018, 10:52 PM | #6 |
SYRACUSE
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i'm not aero bb i just posted like him writing wise on facebook a couple times which caused u to think im him
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01-05-2018, 10:53 PM | #7 | |
SYRACUSE
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Quote:
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01-06-2018, 12:11 AM | #8 |
consults Lloyd
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01-08-2018, 11:51 PM | #9 |
rhyme capsule.
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thanks, guys.
the flow of the last seven comments was entertaining. |
01-09-2018, 03:59 PM | #10 |
White Earl
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aero - def not nyc
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01-27-2018, 03:08 PM | #11 |
rhyme capsule.
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01-27-2018, 06:15 PM | #12 |
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yeah this was def a solid piece, creativity off the charts! well done
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01-30-2018, 09:48 AM | #13 |
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This is raw compare to your other verses
There's dope vocabularies When I read this blow my mind because them bars spectacular Keep doing ya thing! |
02-12-2018, 01:50 PM | #14 |
rhyme capsule.
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one more time.
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03-04-2018, 10:19 PM | #15 |
rhyme capsule.
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i won't up this again.
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03-04-2018, 11:04 PM | #16 | |||||||
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Quote:
Quote:
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But. Hmmmm. Idk. In any case, I'm digging how you're bending the words and their syllables to your will. The vocabulary, although dense, adds an extra level of enjoyment to the read as well. Quote:
Quote:
Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 03-05-2018 at 08:39 AM. |
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03-09-2018, 10:13 AM | #17 |
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Enjoyed this, perhaps a lil lengthy given it's rather dense material. Basically every bar invites to contemplation. Still, I found the untraditional phrasing quite refreshing.
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03-18-2018, 07:09 PM | #18 |
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Finally got to read this more thoroughly. The title alone is already quite intriguing, and I appreciate the layered, overarching themes and tone of a certain, almost tangible voidness and rumination here. At least that's how I read it to a certain degree. As Self already stated, your lines usually carry a fascinating level of depth beyond the mere metaphorical value. The direct language you employ aids in creating a balance between the lines. I also enjoyed the recurring 'anatomy' references, to put it bluntly. The pineal reference was highly original and interesting in that aspect as well. 'Sense soaked in dew' and 'writing's cathartic' were one of my favourite parts. There was a subtle equilibrium of very powerful moments, such as the 'i'm actually leaving: in your hands, take my whole life' segment and some more prosaic tendencies, like the 'refuse to acknowledge' segment towards the end, which ultimately created the feeling and reality of depth. Schemes were unconventional. I enjoyed this.
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04-09-2018, 08:29 PM | #19 |
rhyme capsule.
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@ACTIVATE SELF thanks for the feed of late.
@Concrete it's long for me, too. i tend to write in shorter bursts. @Alice appreciate your close reading. i wrote this with a weird mix of florid and blunt - i'm not sure where i was at the time. Last edited by Eŋg; 04-09-2018 at 08:31 PM. |
04-16-2018, 10:11 AM | #20 |
............
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You've always been one of my favorite rhymers here, you know this...this was nice...vocabulary was good & your flow really kicks faces in where SELF quoted, I dug it man.
Stay dope my friend. |
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