Vocabulus

UnoQuattroThres · 05-20-2013, 09:10 AM

The Vocabulus Emeritus, cerebral continuum
With sinister synonyns rolling off the mentum
Venting, serving a chalice of sullen ballads
Futures pallid, edges dipped in acetone, flaccid
My vocab is captive, reactions to it, passive
Graphic as a massively morphing passage
Smash it as if I manage to dishonor my adage
Rebuking the civility, abilities become savage
I bear no compassion to cranial processes
Barrage abcesses with complex nonsense
Dictionaries fortell this linguistic savior
You see question marks, me, simplistic nature
Still those bating the creator to dispatch your comprehension
With a reanimated dictative suspension invention
Depiction retention diction lengthen.....
Fictional maidens bitchin', twistin' tongue flicked smitten
Criminally gifted, I'll rob you of your common sense
Decrypting the written will leave you throbbing tense
Mark the earth with these numbers, mark of the beast
Sparring your life from offerings and depart from peace.....

Vocabulus Emeritus is here......Signed with a smile.....

IamBenT · 05-20-2013, 12:06 PM

wow dope diction friend, love the interesting choices, only wished some of it was grounded more in the concrete, but the swag is strong, really liked the end here

Criminally gifted, I'll rob you of your common sense
Decrypting the written will leave you throbbing tense
Mark the earth with these numbers, mark of the beast
Sparring your life from offerings and depart from peace.....

I feel you ended when you were about to spark even harder shit, i also love that image of a chalice of sullen ballads, great natural rhymes with very little forcing.

Zen · 05-20-2013, 12:10 PM

This is pretty nice. Poetic. As Bent pointed out your word choice is your strong point in this but I think you need to edit your last line because you misspelled "Sparing". Unless you meant Sparring and then I have no idea what the last line is saying. But on that note this piece is very abstract which I can enjoy from time to time and I enjoyed this piece. Keep droppin and make sure to drop feed on other posts man.

UnoQuattroThres · 05-20-2013, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zenland

This is pretty nice. Poetic. As Bent pointed out your word choice is your strong point in this but I think you need to edit your last line because you misspelled "Sparing". Unless you meant Sparring and then I have no idea what the last line is saying. But on that note this piece is very abstract which I can enjoy from time to time and I enjoyed this piece. Keep droppin and make sure to drop feed on other posts man.

the last line is sparing as in saving lives from being offerings and subjects of war....Thanks for the feed

PancakeBrah · 05-20-2013, 11:41 PM

i didnt like this

UnoQuattroThres · 05-21-2013, 08:55 PM

Thanks Cake...that was what I was going for....

05-20-2013, 09:10 AM	#1
UnoQuattroThres 143 is here.... Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 31 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 34	Vocabulus The Vocabulus Emeritus, cerebral continuum With sinister synonyns rolling off the mentum Venting, serving a chalice of sullen ballads Futures pallid, edges dipped in acetone, flaccid My vocab is captive, reactions to it, passive Graphic as a massively morphing passage Smash it as if I manage to dishonor my adage Rebuking the civility, abilities become savage I bear no compassion to cranial processes Barrage abcesses with complex nonsense Dictionaries fortell this linguistic savior You see question marks, me, simplistic nature Still those bating the creator to dispatch your comprehension With a reanimated dictative suspension invention Depiction retention diction lengthen..... Fictional maidens bitchin', twistin' tongue flicked smitten Criminally gifted, I'll rob you of your common sense Decrypting the written will leave you throbbing tense Mark the earth with these numbers, mark of the beast Sparring your life from offerings and depart from peace..... Vocabulus Emeritus is here......Signed with a smile..... __________________ I stay an Infeckted Pen....

05-20-2013, 12:06 PM	#2
IamBenT SuPreaM Lyricyst Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 704 Battle Record: 9-6 Rep Power: 412355	wow dope diction friend, love the interesting choices, only wished some of it was grounded more in the concrete, but the swag is strong, really liked the end here Criminally gifted, I'll rob you of your common sense Decrypting the written will leave you throbbing tense Mark the earth with these numbers, mark of the beast Sparring your life from offerings and depart from peace..... I feel you ended when you were about to spark even harder shit, i also love that image of a chalice of sullen ballads, great natural rhymes with very little forcing. __________________ *A.bove T.he R.est* IamBenT\|Genocide\|MikeWrecka\|Objective\|Vulgar\|Witty \|Rawn MacDon

05-20-2013, 11:41 PM	#5
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 13,052 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899406	i didnt like this __________________ If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me?

05-21-2013, 08:55 PM	#6
UnoQuattroThres 143 is here.... Join Date: May 2013 Posts: 31 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 34	Thanks Cake...that was what I was going for.... __________________ I stay an Infeckted Pen....

05-20-2013, 12:10 PM	#3
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,104 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079719	This is pretty nice. Poetic. As Bent pointed out your word choice is your strong point in this but I think you need to edit your last line because you misspelled "Sparing". Unless you meant Sparring and then I have no idea what the last line is saying. But on that note this piece is very abstract which I can enjoy from time to time and I enjoyed this piece. Keep droppin and make sure to drop feed on other posts man.