05-10-2016, 10:43 PM | #1 | ||||||||||
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
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Week 18 Mag (featuring BAGS video and AERO $10 Verse Reveal)
Introduction
Welcome to week 18. The powers that be (jaded mods) have decided this league is going to week 20 then hitting the playoffs. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER cause that leaves two weeks after this one before we're being seeded. AND so we get a really personal, Sharp Nine touch, say hello to: New Rules: Voting My life's work up to this point appears to be getting you Cockpipe Cosmonauts to vote on shit ON TIME. So rather than make that an issue, I'ma institute my favorite kinda thread..... VOTING LNKS THREAD If you dont vote on AT LEAST 4 BATTLES I will withhold any wins from that week. If you lose, extra L until votes are made up. And you must make up any missed weeks of voting if you wanna get in the playoffs... so don't let slacking now fuck it up for you. Without further ado: [Flash Reviews] Champ Match: Cashius 6-0 vs Schadenfreude 10-6 This shit was tight to say the least. The two showed up pretty big here and I was pretty impressed. Cashius had a quality bar about Schad's name that was universally quoted (among others) and Schadenfreude had a Rufio bar that was outright dirty. The voters gave it to Cash in a KO though, feeling that he had a stronger verse as a whole with more standouts. Contender Match: Kenny the OG 3-2 vs Bags 3-0 This was... Odd. Respect to both guys in a high profile match, they kept it civil. I think Destroyer tried to Bags this battle thread but it came off as a little weird. Kenny's delivery was a little iffy to some voters where Bags was generally well received. That said, Kenny's cloud line was clean as hell. Voters split, giving it to Bags on consistency. Infiltration 10-5 vs Destroyer 9-6 Des prefaced his verse saying he didn't have time or something, which makes everything OK. Infiltration has been hot lately, and he kept going, Des didnt really match it. Coat of arms was the most well received bar of the battle but Inf was solid throughout. Personally dug his Aero line. Toil 4-1 vs Barcotic 3-1 (Roast Battle) Short but cool. Both had some clever takes but Toil's 5-0 bar was fire. Cred 8-6 vs jilti 6-3 Gunbar city over here. This was really a mater of preference but voters split it just barely in Cred's favor. Personally I thought jilti had some cool bars but started a little weak, while Cred was a litle more consistent. Lotto Smirk 6-8 vs Wanderer 5-7 This was weird. Lotto usually has a rushed verse, Wanderer also had one. Most liked Wanderer more. Junto 3-2 vs Adverse 3-1 Adverse went for something here... not sure what, but respect him for flipping up what he's doing. Jun was da goon, did his thing and took a dub. Wear Shhh 3-5 vs MFTastik 2-0 Zelph bit. Badly. Had to close the thread to prevent editing but MF had a solid drop. The N64 controller line was nice. CBA 1-2 vs Chyeahhh!!! 0-1 CBA was pretty off and Chyeahhh is usually good for alright punches. He had them and CBA didn't. Reza 0-0 vs Joe Boston 0-4 You two are banned from going more than 12 lines. [Lime News Network Bulletin] Good Evening. This is Brian Trilliams, Text's most trusted news source. In our top story tonight, known faggot Zelph has been caught biting... A line from the week before. The line in question was a universally noticed Destroyer line. Zelph has since been banned by NBL and is wanted by the NCPD for questioning. If caught, his case is expected to go before the Netcitizen's Court. If anyone has information regarding his whereabouts, please contact Detective Mike Hunt, NCPD at 1-555-GAMBLELIVES. Last known photograph of offender In HolyshitIcan'tbelievethisqualifiesasSport: RMBVA has announced the introduction of the CannabisOwl 2v2 tourney. Following our site battle, this has extreme potential to impress. Signups can be found here: http://rmbva.com/showthread.php?p=659587 In Sub-Human Interest: Local sleuth Knucklehead has dug up a photograph and profile of Barcotic's Mom's friend that he has an ongoing Words With Friends game with. At this time it is speculated that Barcotic would have deleted the app years ago but feels too guilty and every Canadian bone in his body tells him this is the best way to avoid an uncomfortable moment. Finally, Aero, our resident moneybags, has been laying low with his promise to pay $10 to what he deemed to be the top verse of last week... UNTIL NOW. In an LNN exclusive, the nonspecific-unverified-pan-ethnic mogul reveals his decision for top verse in a guest verse of the Week: [Verse of the Week: Money Verse Edition] [Aero] There were three verses this week I was impressed with. Cashius, Bags & Jilti. Quote:
I removed Jilti from contention Bc though it was good most of the nameplays were about Cred's alias School which I'd never heard of. Both Cashius & Bags had a haymaker. Cashius had the "I don't know how to say this". Bags had "watch you OD on the needle" which was probably the most creative & well put together bar of the week. Then Cashius had itunes rating, Bags had driving range. Cashius had Independence Day, Bags had Bottle of Lotion. This came down to misses for me... Quote:
Quote:
I rated each bar from Bags and Cashius and totaled them. Cashius came out ahead by a razor thin margin. Cash I'll PM you. [No-Show Shine] MFTastick vs Zelph (DQ'd for biting) Fuck this guy. Off the rip. You want bars then I got y'all/ Or square up. Bomb right in his chest like Alahu akhbar/ One jab givem lock jaw. Or it's gats drawn. Lift the bird up./ Then Z gettin a shell to his chest. That's Surfs up/ Right hand give him one big hit like a sisqo tune/ Then the deuce go accross his face like disco moves./ Dog You drew the wrong card starting with me/ Penis emoji. Wtf bro. Guess you are what you eat./ Pull up. Lead gripped. Full clip. Dead shit./ Give ya soul wings like Crash Bandicoot when he gets hit./ head split. If this shit had a flyer. Zelph wouldn't be on the poster/ Z would be on the back like n64 controllers/ Habitat vs Artifice I'm done bluffin, leave son busted w/ a nasty concussion the homies better come save artery gonna have his blood gushin bone crushin, glass shattered on ur jaw bone, I'm stunning in a pub brawl Or I could have u runnin, son I'm gunnin... have arms at ya back like a trust fall After this battle they'll say ur a cut above, top notch.. BUT doesn't everyone's kill count come from the bottom up? You ain't on my level, think u'll catch me slipping? Hardly dude I'm bringin fire, Art... while ur attempts resemble Homer tryna build a BBQ Run up to his crib, start fuckin his bitch and he won't do a single thing Cause he knows the cans'll start poppin off like the beginning of a Pringles binge Blam Newtown vs King You suck at this text shit, your verses aren't even half tight. The shotty will leave half your torso missing like Ezekiel Elliot on draft night. I've already given u an L this season, so it's not a problem hand u another, lame. I'll throw a bow that's so out of bounds, u'd think it's the end of that thunder game. His girlfriend hates his guts and secretly hopes that he drops dead. Can't even get the last word in his own house, the arguments are like that Lars thread. And speaking of your girl, the pussy was decent even though she's not a hottie. That's y I spent the whole weekend in it then gave it back on Monday like Hush's Maserati. Listening to him spit a verse will literally make you sick. Rather put a Tech N9ne or a Kaliko to my ear than listen to Strange music. [Verse Superlatives] Where Was the Punch? Verse Quote:
The Oh my Lord You're about to get KO'd by Chyeahhh Verse Quote:
The 'First Two Bars are good enough So I'ma phone the rest in' Verse Quote:
The Bang Bang Verse Quote:
[Previews/Shot of Bags' Home for future Veritas Paintings] [Bags] WTF'S WTF @ FAGGOT BAGS BEING IN THE TITLE MATCH. WTF @ FAGGOT BAGS VIDEO MAG NOT BEING RETARDED & HAVING SOME GOOD POINTS FOREAL, FUCK U THO. WTF @ THE NBA PLAYOFFS BEING DOPE AS FUCK THIS SEASON. WTF @ ORC COMING BACK OUTTA NO WHERE FROM HIS DRUNK SLUT RAPPING RAGE BINGE HES BEING ON. WTF @ ZELPH BITTING DESTROYER. WTF @ THE LEAGUE BEING SO POPPIN. WTF @ ME DOIN A WTF SECTION. Sexy Chicks [Outro] Well, if @Allen Knight @Adverse and @Infiltration wanna put something in the mag like they said they would, they can PM it to me Outside of that keep on truckin and fuckin VOTE. I'm out Last edited by Allen Knight; 05-11-2016 at 11:48 AM. |
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05-10-2016, 11:07 PM | #2 |
neckties
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,629
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Lol dope shit! That bitch at the end got me.
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05-10-2016, 11:57 PM | #4 |
Senior Member
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Dope mag positive video review enjoying this i admit slacking on the voting dept. I will get em in.
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05-11-2016, 12:56 AM | #5 |
Banned
Join Date: May 2016
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Rep Power: 0 |
Checking in
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05-11-2016, 01:03 AM | #6 |
tutankhamen
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 363
Battle Record: 6-5
Rep Power: 16107555 |
Ha solid mag. Good shit yall. Dope video too bags, real shit. Lets keep it goin y'all
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Wordplay? My words ain't meant to be played with. |
05-11-2016, 03:10 AM | #8 |
Dynomite.. DYNOMITE!!
Join Date: Sep 2015
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"Last known photo of offender" made me spit out my drank..lmao.
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05-11-2016, 06:26 AM | #10 |
Senior Member
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05-11-2016, 07:22 AM | #11 |
The Biggest
Join Date: Jan 2015
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Accomplishments - Gun Bar King
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All gunbars, no personals, cus idk these niggas!!
Lol but good shit on the mag y'all. Props for gettin this in. Definitely entertaining. |
05-11-2016, 08:25 AM | #12 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
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Rep Power: 12601535 |
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05-11-2016, 11:04 AM | #13 |
The Bad Guys.
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Rep Power: 85899398 |
LMAOO at incense that smell like rice & beans.
fuck u bags, get this rep. |
05-11-2016, 12:11 PM | #14 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
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Dope fuckin mag.
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05-11-2016, 01:34 PM | #15 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26,349
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Lol fuck u forever ak
Also dead at hot bitches being added into the mag an me thinking I left sum porn open on my phone lime wtffff |
05-11-2016, 02:28 PM | #16 |
As-salamu alaykum!
Join Date: May 2016
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lol this nigga bags forever fat loser.
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05-11-2016, 02:52 PM | #17 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
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lmao solid first post after your self imposed exile
sup Amen?
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05-11-2016, 03:55 PM | #19 |
Senior Member
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Id get the sand out the crevis of that bitches asscheeks
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05-11-2016, 04:47 PM | #20 |
(ง'̀-'́)ง
Join Date: Nov 2015
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Fuck bags
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