Tesla's Rhyme Book

Marc_Tesla · 02-14-2013, 09:34 PM

Starting off a series of one-sitting stream of conscious verses. I try to do one a day ranging from topical to flow driven to spazzing out. Criticism welcome. Just trying to find a balance.
__________________________________________________ __________________________

Day 1: Carlos Gracie

Instrumental: http://www.datpiff.com/pop-mixtape-p...m7f3c1ab&tid=8

Packin' the heat like the passenger seat
Shotgunnin' a beer; put one in the air? Pass it to me, uh...
This hood ain't Tray Martin's; I'll his pull trainers off him
You'll get a wood grain coffin if that flame is sparkin'
I stay retarded like Algernon off flower pots...
Where every mouse'll drop dimes for them county cops...
So corner Dorner for sure you're a goner
From court informers to more reporters than a crowded dock...
I'm down to box for a pound of rocks like an inmate
Towers watch with a clip aimed; I'm out ta block like I'm Dikembe...
Pull out an ox? Better sound the horn or I just may
Slip a shiv made from a switch blade length ways inside his rib cage...
Bow to your sensai; with all students against meh
I twist wrists like Frisbees till disks slip and they're in pain...
Submit a bar and I'ma break your arm...
Get on a feat and it's a figure four... I'm Carlos Gracie dog

Inspiration:

Frank · 02-14-2013, 11:50 PM

cool schemes. I fucked with the Mutombo line lol Even though shit is stupid old.

Definately free willy schemes - keep at it

Geno · 02-15-2013, 06:52 AM

This flowed dope.b couple missplaced words you should edit. Re-read and you'll see what I mean.

Ill post though. Neighbor-esk flow/content. Hmmm

Marc_Tesla · 02-15-2013, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank

cool schemes. I fucked with the Mutombo line lol Even though shit is stupid old.

Definately free willy schemes - keep at it

Yeah this was mainly made to sound good. Thanks for peeping it brother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genocide

This flowed dope.b couple missplaced words you should edit. Re-read and you'll see what I mean.

Ill post though. Neighbor-esk flow/content. Hmmm

I actually think the flow is fine but you can't see some of the nuances through my writing. Regardless thanks for the feedback.

Fig · 02-15-2013, 02:11 PM

At first read this seemed flat but then i remembered you write to spit, and the flow of this aloud was very impressive. That inspirational track was tight as well. You'll get mixed reviews from textcees because they don't take that into consideration, but in their defence, it is a text based medium. Anyways, i thought this was dope. Keep doing your thing

Marc_Tesla · 02-15-2013, 07:26 PM

Day 2: Mr. Nobody

Instrumental:

She was the bomb until we fell out...
I was her shelter, but just a shell now; I let her pick a pen pal....
She plucks another feather from her wings...
And dips it in her muddy makeup just so we may catch up on things
It's just unbearable, the heaviness I carry through
You're so fragile... I don't know who I trust to care for you...
It's no dice if they're pro-life and I done thrown twice
Two snake eyes, like I won; it's my sun that broke ice...
I'm runnin' low on life and shouldering these snowy skies...
She's cookin' up with her silver spoon and it's no surprise...
My line ripped from the horizon for that smoker's high...
It's no doubt we broke out after that lotion dried....
She blows goodbyes just like they're daddy's wallet...
She'd sniff the kisses that I blew to get her through if she was barely conscious
Flippin' the script like a pharmacist, karma is
Addicted to everything but me (I'm Mr. Nobody) [x4]

Geno · 02-15-2013, 07:32 PM

Wasn't. Downing your flow, was comparing it to a dope writer who I thought for a second you might be an alias of. Obviously I was wrong is obv.

Marc_Tesla · 02-16-2013, 05:29 PM

Day 3: There Will Be Blood

Instrumental:

I'm like Lamont got signed by the Rocafella
The rise of Pac; so like it or not.. I'll rock Coachella
Not a doctor, I'm an author.. rockin' a Cosby sweater
Shootin' up embalmin' fluid like coolant; got it from Ledger...
They set on asses; I settle matches with sets of matches
Some people watch the world burn.. I'm just sellin' ashes...
Dispellin' magic with a sword drawn; my pen in my forearm
Stop poppin' collars like Warhol, cause you're a cornball
A tour de force, but of course I'm tourin' France with Lance..
I'm B-Rabbit and Cheddar Bob taught me to hammer dance
Command the camps, and everybody's gonna stand for this
So let me cap it off like I'm the Star Bangled Banner bitch
I'll land a fist and throw a tantrum with both of these hulk hands
My King Mitus choke slam'll turn you into gold sand
Oh lord... I'm the man who made you
Go tell these pin heads that I'm Daniel Plainview
See I gotta shottie filled with slugs... so there will be blood
And all these new jacks'll shit they scrubs
This ain't no blues rap... it's just a field day chump
Still drank up 'fore anybody filled they cup
I'll crush your buzz like a pestle for any crazy pill head
Thinkin' they can get reps stackin' plates with Em's cred..
You're getting' misled (but this ain't Sadie Hawkins G)
(It's prom...) and I stood up Carrie to lay the queen

sral · 10-21-2015, 08:37 AM

This was dope as fuck.

Randomly came across it, never peeped you before.

Stay up @Marc_Tesla

Wise Wiggles · 10-21-2015, 07:06 PM

Dope stuff

02-14-2013, 11:50 PM	#2
Frank Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,228 Champed - NWL Season 2 - Art of Writing League (5x) - Lime Green Poetry Association - AOWL Season 6 - AOWL Season 10 Rep Power: 3853344	cool schemes. I fucked with the Mutombo line lol Even though shit is stupid old. Definately free willy schemes - keep at it __________________ *VETWORK*

02-15-2013, 06:52 AM	#3
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	This flowed dope.b couple missplaced words you should edit. Re-read and you'll see what I mean. Ill post though. Neighbor-esk flow/content. Hmmm __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

02-15-2013, 02:11 PM	#5
Fig Om Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 6,473 Battle Record: 8-16 Rep Power: 84181559	At first read this seemed flat but then i remembered you write to spit, and the flow of this aloud was very impressive. That inspirational track was tight as well. You'll get mixed reviews from textcees because they don't take that into consideration, but in their defence, it is a text based medium. Anyways, i thought this was dope. Keep doing your thing __________________ BIRDHORSE 8-15

02-15-2013, 07:32 PM	#7
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,330 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Wasn't. Downing your flow, was comparing it to a dope writer who I thought for a second you might be an alias of. Obviously I was wrong is obv. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

10-21-2015, 08:37 AM	#9
sral Shrewd as evearthed Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 8,270 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899392	This was dope as fuck. Randomly came across it, never peeped you before. Stay up @Marc_Tesla __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

10-21-2015, 07:06 PM	#10
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	Dope stuff __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"