04-22-2015, 11:34 PM | #1 | |||||
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
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Rep Power: 12601535 |
Week 3 Mag
Netcees Battle League Week 3 State of the Text Address [Introduction] ...this is text? Yes, my NCG's, you are not mistaken. Standing tall in it's 7th season, the Netcees Battle League has hit seemingly hit every high and low on it's tumultuous journey to the present day. How and why has it lasted so long? Well, if you're with us today, like it or not text battling is one of your most persistent hobbies...a quick three year hiatus here, a new girlfriend there, dodging a bet made to another member whilst still actively participating in fantasy football for old times sake, the small stretches where work takes over and you forget all about this corner of the internet- you always seem to find your way back to the Great Lime Green in the Sky. Netcees remains one of the most competitive writing sites on the net, bar none. Whether the site's longevity is due to its tight knit community, the addictive personalities of its members, the draw of the elite tier talent that always gathers here- or all of these in combination: the NBL is in it for the long haul. So these magazines are designed to give you a chance to reflect on the past, to feel inspired to compete again, to skip everything in the magazine except the parts where your name is so you can read about yourself. And that's exactly the point- we do it for you guys goddamnit. If you build it, they will come. And we're building it back up bitches. [Reviews] Mutilate vs Allen Knight Allen Knight wins 4-0 Cool battle but Mutilate just did not have consistency for 16 lines here. He started off alright but used 3 straight knight nameflips which took a lot away from his verse. His flips also had some mad iffy moments but wasn't awful. Allen didn't bring anything amazing but had consistency. Some good generic flips like his Dollhouse line were about all he needed to take it. Mutilate did alright and has workable wording, but needs to come up with fresher flips if he wants to compete on a higher level. Allen isn't really lacking in anything but motivation, he needs either a beef he's invested in or a title/champed to push him into his best quality drops. Greed vs Defiant Defiant wins by Noshow @Greed surprised me with a noshow here. It looked and felt like Defiant knew he wasn't showing up cause his verse felt like more of a warmup for a real battle. He had the personal angles but no really refined execution. If Greed were actually around we probably woulda seen some everything come together nicely but this is the unfortunate reality of text. jilti vs Shank jilti wins by Noshow After being caught biting in 2 consecutive battles on RB, Shank decided to just go awol from text. Rest assured if he ever does show back up I'll remind everyone. Jilti used the potential for personals pretty well, his SOS concept was slick and the saving the planet idea was worded well. On top of that his generic bars stung and it's safe to say this woulda been a lot for Shank to handle. For the 16 lines that went unmatched, jilti gets this week's noshow shine. Dr Dog vs Knucklehead Dr Dog wins by Noshow tbh I'm glad split showed. I hate to say it but at this point @Knucklehead is a given noshow, which is a shame cause he dropped some dope verses in the heyday of 2.0 and seems to want to do more. But we got Dr Dog aka Split Eight aka Sharp Nine jr to show up with a solid keystyle that had some of the humor I remember him bring. The nameflip was a good hit and nothing really missed. He looks like he'll be actual competition for this league. [No-Show Shine] -jilti vs Shank Sinatra (NS)- Shank pay Sharp for that dope bar or get held ransom for a fair amount cuz SOS for borrowing fire, while smoke signals needed to find ur whereabouts got aired out, how u also stole from hush & calefaction. nigga who next? dont care if u take from metasin Orbital Fracture lines when i leave ur eye a huge mess heard u and that tomato can @Allen Knight were in a super crew like team guess white boarders combined forces in order to save the planet by recycling habit of biting just to bark dawg, imagine this snitch if police ever question he'd prolly sing like Acquire, til all information is released to their possession named after a weapon inmates make from utensils found in the kitchen ironic cuz if he ever did a bid, we'd see Shank getting passed around in prison knock everything down at ur crib kid, while poundin the hell out ya whore u'll come home wondering Wire Rack out, and all the shelving on the floor lost count of ur girls sex partners at a hundred thousand customers cuz if i Adjusters up, we'll have to hire one just to figure out the numbers was deep in the guts throbbing, ultrasound looked like dick w/ a heart Torso far up her stomach u could C-Sections of it getting ripped apart [Top Punches] Allen Knight vs Mutilate ur sluts a fat piece of shit & eatin's wreckin her bones Cuz your Dollhouse cheeseburgers the size of fuckin replica homes Shank vs.jilti lost count of ur girls sex partners at a hundred thousand customers cuz if i Adjusters up, we'll have to hire one just to figure out the numbers Knucklehead vs.Dr Dog speaking sincerely, your success- I mean it really just Varys, cuz the last time the spotlight shined on Eunuch... season THREE of G.O.T. was still airing, Defiant vs Greed When I text im thinking punches, wording and if my flows shoddy Your thought process in battle goes, 'oh please dont let me lose to another nobody' Allen Knight vs. Mutilate u suck wit bitches - awkward when it comes to bone So if Allen taking a girl out.. It's her comfort zone [Interview with Jilti] Alright I'm here with one of this week's two contenders, jilti. Sup bro? Everything is good Sharp, just all the media coverage from this contender match is crazy! Getting calls from all over the country and locally. Wait.. those are telemarketers, nevermind What's your text history? Like, when did you get started and what brought you to here now? got my start here. was a guest on this site for a couple of weeks and liked what i saw so became a member of DX. now i tell everyone to "suck it". What do you do with yourself when you're not texting? Or are you just perpetually crafting dope barzzzz as you devote your life to being king of text? I sit in my room all day long following around netcee newbies so i can relive my past through them. Oh wait.. thats @Allen Knight, my bad. What do you think of your opponent? How do you think you'll do? We battled before, have nothing but respect for him. ima knock him over the head with these bars then drag his bitch ass to the title match and throw his carcass in the middle as a peace offering How do you think you'd fare against the reigning champ, @Cashius if you win this week? the same way i fared in the BA championship What do you think would help improve this league and/or battling in general at Netcees.org? Cash prizes. Who do you wanna see signed into the league? Anyone you'd rather not see? I wanna see @SpookyDeep, @theMuzzl3, and..... jk I wanne see @BROKE LESNAR, @King Karaoke, and @kami sign up Thanks for doing this interview! As always I'll leave you the last word for any callouts/shoutouts/diatribes/monologues/limericks/epilogues/interpretive dances/bird calls/whatever. Shouts to Sharp for always doing an excellent job. Shouts to @Blanco Bishop, @Camp Bell, and other cool dudes that aint here. Also im looking forward to May 1st when Thanos suplexes the hell outta Hulk and says "puny god". OUT. NBL Season VI Spotlight: Aero vs. G0W [Throwback Battle] Quote:
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[Interview with Defiant] Alright I'm here with the other of this week's two contenders, Defiant. Sup bro? Im good man, just trying to get nc active again. First time In ages I feel like battling and got some time and no ones here. Text died when llama left and gow put the final nail in the coffin. We finally got stability for the time in ages and its probably 2 late. What's your text history? Like, when did you get started and what brought you to here now? Started around 10 years ago on a site called shady soldiers, been on and off on all the big sites just got to nc when it more or less first started been active on and off throughout the years. I only really battle here so if I get bored of it I leave for 6 months plus or whatever What do you do with yourself when you're not texting? Or are you just perpetually crafting dope barzzzz as you devote your life to being king of text? im a carpenter, im living in australia at the moment going new zealand for a while in 2 weeks. It takes awhile to get to work now so I just mainly visiting the site when im travelling What do you think of your opponent? How do you think you'll do? he wants to go 30 bars so Ive already lost a bit of momentum to be honest. Il drop tho i dunno sometimes hes nice but he comes with alot of old shit that he doesnt get called on. It depends on who votes How do you think you'd fare against the reigning champ, Cashius if you win this week? one of the only dudes here I dont think ive battled, I might be wrong I dunno. Hes good and doesnt give off alot of personals so I usually struggle more against these kinda dudes but ill be motivated for sure when I beat @jilti What do you think would help improve this league and/or battling in general at Netcees.org? Tbh theres not alot more u guys can do, just gotta hope some of the older dudes help out and sign in, hopefully everyone else finds out about the site and signs in, its slowly getting better. Maybe it just needs us guys to just start some shit so people sign in For anyone that doesn't know you, Defiant is the BA mod. Anything cooking for the BA in the near future to follow up that survivor tourney? I pmed @Muff asking if wanted a ba title shot and he ignored me and made a thread for the pic title. No one seems to interested, I think it all starts with the nbl once this gets active everything else will Who do you wanna see signed into the league? Anyone you'd rather not see? anyone whos good and anyone who wants to improve really. That @mulitate guy isnt great but he drops and wants to improve. We need more people like that. I wanna face anyone ive never battled before or someone I havent beaten Thanks for doing this interview! As always I'll leave you the last word for any callouts/shoutouts/whatever. props to sharp and allen for keeping this going and the others still dropping jilti mulitate etc [Around the Site] Asides from yours truly getting back into modship, here's just a quick snapshot of what is going on in the other corners of the site: Open Mic Magazine Slated for Upcoming Weekend Due to be published some time later this week, the OM section will be getting a shot in the arm in the form of a cumulative magazine, making up for several months without a publication. It will be a joint production between several mods & members, including myself. Look out for exclusive writer interviews, opinion pieces, manpoetry, oodles of verse features, some prominent writer profiles & of course some throwbacks. AOWL Playoffs Enters the Semifinals The final four, competing after a brief leave due to an extended G0Wer outage, are- dead man, NYCSPITZ, UnbornBuddha, and Certain! Be sure to check out the battles, as this is still a seriously talent-packed bracket. 1-2 Punch League Starts Up Again Moderated by Spoken and Destroyer, the NBL's Younger Brother continues its 2nd season. Genocide is a Piss-Poor Father Self-explanatory. [Weekly Disc Beatdown] Dancake off that Canadian Club & deli ham runoff simply gives our boy Geno that work. Quote:
[Predictions] Amen 1-0 vs Muff 0-0 [Sharp] Muff's battled the real Amen before but this is probably nothing he's ever experienced before. This Amen is definitely on the path to being one of my favorite joke NBL entrances and if he keeps it up I'm seeing the potential to champ... maybe... probably not tbh but I can believe. Muff is a definite vet presence in the league who suffers from the occasional rust issues, but definitely has bars and his own style. I think this could come down to being a comical battle but the question is will 'Amen' bring punches? If not Muff takes this one even with jabs. This battle has potential to be lolz though. Muff: 65/35 [Split] Despite the fact that Amen's entire verse was attacking the other Amen rather than his opponent, it was one of the more memorable verses I've read in a while. There's a lot to be said for satire- you can't really fight someone that isn't taking you seriously. Amen's bars (not Mutilate) have a lot of energy and style to them. As we all know, there's a lot more to battling than just calling the other dude a faggot x9. In the other corner, Muff is creative and has carved out a style that is historically unlike most others on the site. Muff is semi-accomplished on this site, but hasn't gained the recognition that other writers of similar eras possess. This could be due to lack of resolve, but I doubt it's due to lack of potential. Muff: 65/35 illergicreaxion 0-0 vs makajibbz 0-0 [Sharp] I have no words here. I know nothing about either one except that makajibbz has posted most recently and tbh I'm not sure he'll be able to find the site again. Based on his bars in discussion, if illergic shows up he just has to drop competent punches and he's the favorite. But if I see two names I don't recognize with 0-0 records battling each other I'm just conditioned to expect at least one no-show. If this one goes down I'll be surprised but tbh I don't see it. But yeah illergic has the edge for speaking English. Illergicreaxion: 55/45 [Split] That name sounds familiar. A quick search of the Netcees Archives reveals that illergic dropped most recently in 2014 against Swerve, taking a loss in a decent showing. Makajibbz sounds like someone from Narnialand or a spambot, it's safe to say that barring a double-NS that illergic will take this handily. Illergicreaxion: 95/5 Mutilate 0-1 vs Witty 0-1 [Sharp] This one has potential – both of these guys have relatively high ceilings if they show up with their best but that's a question mark. Mutilate aka Clayton has rust and played ideas to deal with while Witty usually tries to do everything last second if at all but when he puts out a good verse its fucking funny. My expectation is for Witty to noshow but if both show up it could be dope, in which case I'd predict Witty edges it. But for now, I know Clayton will show and can't say the same for Witness da gawd. Would love to be proven wrong though. Clayton: 60/40 [Split] Damn. I could've sworn that Mutilate was Glossy Finish Dick Lips under alias. Anyways, Witty needs to show the fuck up for his battles. He has had brief stints in the NBL before, but now that there is whisky on the line I am hoping that he steps up to the plate. He's quite accomplished as a topical writer, and so his verses generally flow and rhyme very smoothly. From what I can recall, his concepts are not bad and he has held his own against battlers who solely compete in text. Clayton has been ran off the site multiple times. This has no bearing in a text league, other than that his entire stay here is basically cannon fodder in the hands of a competent opponent. Witty is a competent opponent. Clayton's wording and concepts need tweaking, as do his angles. One of his biggest detriments is his tendency to force wordplay/ tend towards longbar, essentially giving him a disadvantage against every opponent if site regulars vote. However, with the pool of opponents as small as it currently is, I could see it not playing that big a role for a week or two. Between the two, I see Witty capitalizing on a gold mine of personals for a victory in a closer battle than you would expect. Witty: 55/45 Dr Dog 1-0 vs Sharp 1-0 [Sharp] Not gonna try to predict my own battle but I won last time :). Gl split. [Split] fuck u faggot Split:9040152-0 Contender Match: Defiant 2-0 vs jilti 2-0 Sharp Honestly this one could go either way for me. Both are solidly middle-tier ad have something going for them - Defiant's been around for awhile and jilti's been active lately. The question is really Defiant, cause I haven't seen him drop at full force in awhile but I know he's looking to champ and jilti is his first real competition. If Def has the level of heat he's brought in the past he could definitely take it, but I haven't seen that in a little while. Jilti hasn't had any mad competition this season, but he's made his way to a champ match before. If I have to take an honest guess, my gut says jilti but my head is telling me there's no clear winner. If I have to pick it's jilti on consistency. Could go either way though. Willing to bet this will be good though. Jilti: 55/45 [Split] This is likely going to be battle of the week. Both have come nice before, Jilti is consistent & less rusty. Defiant's wording can sometimes leave me scratching my head, but I also get the vibe that he doesn't come anywhere near full force when he doesn't have to. Though early in the season, I wouldn't be surprised at all if either of these guys got playoff bids. I'd look for slick wording and technicality from Jilti who seems to have a bit more momentum, but keep an eye out for a haymaker or two from Defiant. In fact I'd say that Defiant is in a more favorable position, being (what I would consider) the slight underdog in a relatively highly anticipated clash. At least, this is the kind of matchup I look forward to- battlers with something to prove, and the first (right?) contender match of the season. Defiant: 60/40 [Where are They Now?] Take one look at our ranks and it's clear we have some lost brothers... we can only hope they manage to find their way back to us. @Joe Metts- busy collecting copper shavings for his magnetic pube beard @Beyond- in a constant state of ghosting, filling his data banks with all of netcees going-ons to be properly equipped with personals in preparation for his second coming @Bagsworth Bentley- coworkers banded together to seal him in the Chamber of Feces during one of his famous 19 hour bowel movements/ boarding sprees in the handicap stall @Neighbor- text is on hold at the moment while Neigh lives out his dream of managing a pub/shooting range, lovingly named 'Neigh's Gun Bar' @Vulgar- on a 24 moon sabbatical to find the Caliphate of Agryzenha & get tutored in the ancient art of one letter wordplay @Destroyer- got a full back tat of Bagatron on a discount since the artist used Lithium Ion ink substitute also lives in Des's LargePrint Rolodex at the call center @Genocide- Busy recording a mega 10-disc album with Phil, 4 cases of bud light, half of uh-ohs beat tapes recorded with his phone's microphone and a high quality 4-track tape recorder. Should drop just in time for Christmas @Wise Wiggles his new home (a houseboat made entirely of ketamine and sub wrappers) only gets Internet when he moors outside in the Starbucks storm sewer @ill nik-A is still nursing the wound of failing to get a battle league started on bragginwrites. I feel for you bro. We all died a little inside when that one went down. @Seadad has fallen on hard times, seeing as its always cocked o'clock on Geno's wicker basement futon @Badi Alii fell back in love with @Meth @Allen Knight recently discovered that the 7,234 Quizilla quizzes he took are in fact, not for compensation, and is desperately searching craigslist for a bubble shifter and aluminum ashtrays before the next Infiniti meet at the Home Depot concourse @Dominate- traveling the world to live out his dream of having platonic relationships with 1000 women @Hush reevaluating purpose in life after being excommunicated from the Garcia lineage for having a jelly-bean shaped head & not having a Mexico flag obnoxiously draped across his sUber-u @Swerve commissioned @Rawn MD to perform the world's first ever synthetic spine transplant using only Popsicle sticks and denatured eraser shavings @theMuzzl3 after discovering his wife had a sperm count much higher than his he promptly stopped doing the dishes unless asked or it was implied that it was nice @Sho Money EMG literally dead after he confronted Michael Kay about their affair & was immediately vaporized from coming within 60 furlongs of someone who had made their parents proud @Giant Hand Jones [WTF] WTF @Split showing up with the magical formatting of topicalists to make the nbl interesting again WTF @waka flocka flame for president and his godly platform WTF @Amen being whored off the site by none other than @Amen WTF @Giant Hand Jones. Damn. @pretzel knees @nigga jeffery @cunning richard WTF @makajibbz aka 'is that Eddie' aka Roro's Brobro and the rise of the Nigerian textcee WTF @Sn00p 's great uncle on trial for nazi war crimes WTF @those kylie jenner lips WTF @a full house spinoff... there's literally no point to that WTF @North Korean solar panels... they'll be on the moon in no time [Outrospection] [Sharp] All I can say is thanks to Split and everyone battling and VOTING. Looking at this mag is just making me think of all we could do with more people signed in and more battles going down. Everyone who's showing routinely keep it up. [Split] Shout out to those consistently active in the league. You tha real MVPs. This is text. |
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04-22-2015, 11:40 PM | #2 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
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04-22-2015, 11:40 PM | #3 |
Chillin' like FUCK!!!
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2,855
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 0 |
Seadad gets tagged in a text battle magazine....
Makes sense
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Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore. |
04-22-2015, 11:47 PM | #5 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,693
Battle Record: 43-24
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Rep Power: 34230532 |
Well didn't this well written gem come out of nowhere
Oddly, some of you guys' best work yet
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It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople Last edited by El Muffin; 04-22-2015 at 11:50 PM. |
04-23-2015, 12:08 AM | #6 |
Detained
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 234
Battle Record: 2-3
Rep Power: 0 |
I agree wth Muff this was the best mag I've seen from u guys personally.
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04-23-2015, 12:53 AM | #7 |
neckties
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,629
Battle Record: 43-19
Champed - BA Cypher
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Rep Power: 20816225 |
Dope mag. Sharp & Split, good combo
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04-23-2015, 10:28 AM | #8 |
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 27
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 4080144 |
post verse now wut?
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04-23-2015, 02:22 PM | #9 |
DOHpe since 02'
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,693
Battle Record: 43-24
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast
Rep Power: 34230532 |
Nonono
In the battle thread. If I'm not mistaken u already did
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It’s like weed in Highschool- w/ the cans I’ll smoke you
Bitch I floss . I Got the chain out to see like Constantinople |
04-23-2015, 04:47 PM | #10 |
Certified Mother’s Boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5,165
Battle Record: 5-1
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
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Rep Power: 85899390 |
Aero definitely won that battle ha
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04-24-2015, 08:13 PM | #11 |
baz∞ka
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,628
Battle Record: 38-35
Champed - Fight Night 7
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Rep Power: 36460385 |
Dope mag here.
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WICKeD |
04-24-2015, 08:27 PM | #12 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
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Rep Power: 12601535 |
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04-24-2015, 09:16 PM | #13 |
baz∞ka
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,628
Battle Record: 38-35
Champed - Fight Night 7
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Rep Power: 36460385 |
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WICKeD |
04-24-2015, 09:40 PM | #14 |
Tread Lightly.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,312
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Rep Power: 18197456 |
dope mag, good job
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The Bad Guys |
04-25-2015, 06:22 AM | #15 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
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Rep Power: 12601535 |
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04-25-2015, 09:24 AM | #16 |
Razor-thin derision
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Nice bro's
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