07-07-2014, 11:05 PM | #1 |
White Earl
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My Favorite Fucking Fling.
So this is a true story. Kind of scattered and maybe a tad repetitive. But its something I'm going through rite now and its hard to push it out exactly how I want. Been writing this the last three days. Usually don't take that long for me to write but havnt had time. So id sit and write every time I got a couple minutes. Here it is
My Favorite Fucking Fling. The typ'a day I wanna hang n trip, chillin with this bangin bitch Gave'r kiss, perfect set of angel tits, watermelon flavored lips Had to go escape her kids, came and hit the beach with me A place we ain't been recently, we both were dressed indecently Bikini string around her waist, was loose enough to come untied The type of ass you fall in love with, once you hit it from behind Dimple prints above'r hind, fuckin fine, love'r in the summer time Want her and my love was blind, with two kids that wasn't mine There's something kind of perfect bout the way we got along Got a strong sense of heaven, in her presence while i play my songs Skin was baby soft, maybe wrong, way we lost it during sex Cleanest girl I've ever met, even loved her morning breath Sounding like a sorted mess, swore we'd get together more Never met a purer person, she was certain, said that I'm forever yours Let the whores hate baby, make'm crazy, loving all the jealousy And I just wanna be the one, until you don't remember me Or ever having sex with me, its been about an hour now Since I plowed her down, dropped her off around her house Now I'm out about to pick the old lady up, bitch is just a crazy nut Debating wheather breaking up, would be the better way for us There isn't any saviour from, the outcome that's awaiting us.. Don't be stupid, play your part, better that than playing dumb This is not a stadium, this game is packed with crazy lies Sex is unprotected, if she's pregnant -is the baby mine ??? Damn.. that's a crazy thought, stop with all this baby talk Sexy clothes, takem off, her body makes my brain get lost I can not explain it dog, stuck, I fucked it, what you think Everytime I'm driving by, she sees and wants to come with me Am I in love to some degree? Or just in lust for company What it is -is what it is, ain't gotta call it nothing deep But i don't fucking need another kid, that would hit my rib Can hardly afford the two I have, what type of shit is this Ignorance, or lack of innocence, mental imprisonment the typ'a karma that's been haunting me as every minute ticks But this was imminent, and been in both our fucking dreams She told me when she wasn't single that she even wanted me But that's an equal covetry, cause i have always felt the same Aint fucked before because of mine, nd she was someone elses dame Damn, its someone else to blame like every time I wanted her And here I am with someone else, cheating cause I'm un-mature Nothing less for something more, this is where my fall has come I've Never felt as good as this, or as bad, and all at once Still, shes one of them that's worth it, but the burden has to die Should I tell her what's been going on, or keep her passified This is deeper than the mind itself can conquer all alone I need help, I need her, I'm exhausted, what a joke I'm the hopeless kind of person women feer when they're attatched Is he real, is he true, or just coming here for ass But the summers only just begun, already I'm in question By the time this autumn hits, will I have what I've been getting Never letting go is what's been going through my mind Bout to pick her up tomoro, go somewhere just to unwind We can find our favorite rendezvous, this cabin that we want Where I can tell her everything, I can tell her I'm in love I'm in trouble, I'm an idiot, a dumby, and I'm all of the above What the fuck, why not, why lie, why not keep it all alive If I open up, tell the truth, she should see the reasons why Reason I've been kind of weird about her coming home with me Cause my aunt and uncle live alone, I'm with another fling Someone that doesn't bring me all the happiness inside What she gives me and provides, is miraculous, a high I don't wanna be alone, or with someone else but you Are some things that I would say, before the things that ima do I'm unscrewed, I'm a dude, me and him, him and you All of us, let's improve, lessons died, lessons grew Who's that message to, now I'm talkin to myself This the type of thing I mean, thatts a coffin of my hell Racing thoughts and often yell, like I'm lost within a shell Its my bell that's been ringing tones, singing growth, bringing hope A shadow of yourself I've seen, its a ghost, living though In me so deep that I've realised on thing.. When its all said and done, shes my favorite fucking fling
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-A.bove T.he R.est Last edited by Geno; 07-08-2014 at 09:56 PM. |
07-11-2014, 09:34 PM | #2 |
song genius
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i thought it was a bit repetative and drawn out so got a bit boring. but i think you got something you know? like your internal rhymes are ur strong suit. the "lessons died, lessons grew" that would sound good on audio
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ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS |
07-11-2014, 09:39 PM | #3 | |
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Quote:
Shut the fuck up already. It was a decent rhyme. Plus it look like it took time. Just needed tweaked and played with. The flow was good in parts, not in others. Content was someways creative. And it was real. More than I've seen from you, you jumped up, fake-ass, commercializing faggot. |
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07-11-2014, 09:42 PM | #4 |
White Earl
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lol.
neverbes
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07-11-2014, 09:48 PM | #5 |
song genius
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whew illume put it down!
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07-11-2014, 09:59 PM | #6 |
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I thought this was pretty decent, Geno, with highlighted moments. Your style isn't a chore to read and I liked how the structure was broken up into three verses. I got to know the main character's voice well, partly because I'm already acquainted with your track personality from SoundCloud. lol @ pick the old lady up. It would have been cool to see you get into why the relationship / marriage got stale, or why the main character lost interest in his present girl. There's usually specific reasons, and you said she was crazy, but crazy about what? More info would be more engaging and provide more opportunities for humor.
Nothing less for something more, this is where my fall has come I've Never felt as good as this, or as bad, and all at once ^This is where you shine. Set ups, phrasing and rhythmic accuracy. Nice drop sir. Keep doing you |
07-12-2014, 12:58 PM | #7 |
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I like when people aren't afraid to talk for a long time in their pieces. Good one
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