LARS & COPYPAT - "WHITE BOY WASTED"

Baron Mynd · 05-02-2014, 07:26 AM

“It’s the Morgan’s Spiced connoisseurs, let us in quick!”
…we sorta might of just slurred ,while smelling of piff.
We fall inside with a burp and head for a drink
almost caused a fight with some nerd when I said to his chick:
“I bet you suck dick,” with a wink and a nod
he acts ready to flip and it’s pissing me off
so I clench up my fists - once I hit him, he drops,
Pat’s caught what’s left of my drink without spilling a drop!
…The bitch had just gone without saying good bye,
must have dipped from the spot while I weighed in her guy.
But I think with my cock, so I’m straight on my grind,
for a different body to lay with tonight.
So I’m blatantly eyeing this catch of the month
and taking my time, my glass is untouched,
Some lame comes behind me & happens to shove
- Security’s made up their mind there’s no hats in the club!
Pat saw them comin’ so then in a flash
he’s landed a punch on this member of staff.
I staggered in drunk, don’t remember the facts
but I’d bagged me that honey
& kept the bar fight record intact…

I drink honey brown lager cause I’m classy as fuck.
I’m cunning, mad proper when I crash in ya dump.
I run around talkin cause I’m hammin it up,
till my stomach growls stop it then I dash for some grub.

I walk through the Wendy’s drive-through steppin.
And talk to this testy guy who’s tendin’.
I pause at the menu. Fries? You betcha.
But this small pimply head dude decides I’m too aggressive.

Refusal of service cause I’m thoroughly sloshed.
Excuse me, I burp because of earlier shots.
Confused at this jerk, determined, I’m not
refusing to turn until this burger is bought.

So it’s a Mexican standoff till he finally he breaks.
And let’s me in, “Damn brah” I chidingly say.
I guess he was mad cause when I try to just pay,
I get arrested & handcuffed, and guided away.

The bastard’s a joke all horny for procedure.
Harassment I’m told from Tony the policeman.
I asked for my phone call, to sort out my Visa.
But that’s when I hoaxed cops and ordered a pizza.

“…quit calling me Lisa! It’s Lars, man, wassup?
We swarmed on that geezer at the bar then you cut.
I brought back the skeezer, parked up then run,
Talk up, I’ll meet ya… where are you– you WHAT!?”

@CopyPat

Zen · 05-02-2014, 06:09 PM

Lol this was lighthearted and I dig it. The flow on both first halves were great and moved from one line to the next effortlessly, but I felt that as it went on both of you rushed the endings. This was still some good writing.

I drink honey brown lager cause I’m classy as fuck.
I’m cunning, mad proper when I crash in ya dump.
^^These two lines here almost rhymed completely. Bonkers.

“I bet you suck dick,” with a wink and a nod
he acts ready to flip and it’s pissing me off
so I clench up my fists - once I hit him, he drops,
Pat’s caught what’s left of my drink without spilling a drop!
^^lol'd

Good job fellas.

Fig · 05-03-2014, 02:46 AM

Crazy white boys. Walking through the Wendy's drive through hit close to home. First verse was cleaner/more carefully laid down, but the second had more personality to it. Pretty good drop.

ill nik-A · 05-03-2014, 08:13 AM

I enjoyed it, flows kept it moving and I appreciated the humor
Both verses were pretty clean

Exis · 05-05-2014, 10:43 PM

This was nice...Y'all mesh great together but I guess back to back to back multies with meaningful content does that.Thought the middle section was the strongest section yet as a whole is slick...sorry can't quote off of the device I'm on atm, enjoyable read tho.

Rtf favor if you can on my shit with Vividlyvague...would be appreciated.

Stay upwards brethrens.

Exis · 05-05-2014, 10:43 PM

This was nice...Y'all mesh great together but I guess back to back to back multies with meaningful content does that.Thought the middle section was the strongest section yet as a whole is slick...sorry can't quote off of the device I'm on atm, enjoyable read tho.

Rtf favor if you can on my shit with Vividlyvague...would be appreciated.

Stay upwards brethrens.

05-02-2014, 07:26 AM	#1
Baron Mynd PROVEN BITER Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 285 Rep Power: 0	LARS & COPYPAT - "WHITE BOY WASTED" “It’s the Morgan’s Spiced connoisseurs, let us in quick!” …we sorta might of just slurred ,while smelling of piff. We fall inside with a burp and head for a drink almost caused a fight with some nerd when I said to his chick: “I bet you suck dick,” with a wink and a nod he acts ready to flip and it’s pissing me off so I clench up my fists - once I hit him, he drops, Pat’s caught what’s left of my drink without spilling a drop! …The bitch had just gone without saying good bye, must have dipped from the spot while I weighed in her guy. But I think with my cock, so I’m straight on my grind, for a different body to lay with tonight. So I’m blatantly eyeing this catch of the month and taking my time, my glass is untouched, Some lame comes behind me & happens to shove - Security’s made up their mind there’s no hats in the club! Pat saw them comin’ so then in a flash he’s landed a punch on this member of staff. I staggered in drunk, don’t remember the facts but I’d bagged me that honey & kept the bar fight record intact… I drink honey brown lager cause I’m classy as fuck. I’m cunning, mad proper when I crash in ya dump. I run around talkin cause I’m hammin it up, till my stomach growls stop it then I dash for some grub. I walk through the Wendy’s drive-through steppin. And talk to this testy guy who’s tendin’. I pause at the menu. Fries? You betcha. But this small pimply head dude decides I’m too aggressive. Refusal of service cause I’m thoroughly sloshed. Excuse me, I burp because of earlier shots. Confused at this jerk, determined, I’m not refusing to turn until this burger is bought. So it’s a Mexican standoff till he finally he breaks. And let’s me in, “Damn brah” I chidingly say. I guess he was mad cause when I try to just pay, I get arrested & handcuffed, and guided away. The bastard’s a joke all horny for procedure. Harassment I’m told from Tony the policeman. I asked for my phone call, to sort out my Visa. But that’s when I hoaxed cops and ordered a pizza. “…quit calling me Lisa! It’s Lars, man, wassup? We swarmed on that geezer at the bar then you cut. I brought back the skeezer, parked up then run, Talk up, I’ll meet ya… where are you– you WHAT!?” @CopyPat Last edited by Baron Mynd; 05-02-2014 at 09:44 AM.

05-03-2014, 02:46 AM	#3
Fig Om Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 6,473 Battle Record: 8-16 Rep Power: 84181559	Crazy white boys. Walking through the Wendy's drive through hit close to home. First verse was cleaner/more carefully laid down, but the second had more personality to it. Pretty good drop. __________________ BIRDHORSE 8-15

05-03-2014, 08:13 AM	#4
ill nik-A Super Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 7,411 Battle Record: 70-25 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Battle Arena - BA Picture - Picture Battle Tournament - Netcees Battle League (3x) - Netcees Writers League (2x) - Summer Classic VI - Fall Brawl III - Netcees Battle League Season X - Lyric Olympics Rep Power: 77164516	I enjoyed it, flows kept it moving and I appreciated the humor Both verses were pretty clean __________________ Grumpy old man.

05-02-2014, 06:09 PM	#2
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,104 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079719	Lol this was lighthearted and I dig it. The flow on both first halves were great and moved from one line to the next effortlessly, but I felt that as it went on both of you rushed the endings. This was still some good writing. I drink honey brown lager cause I’m classy as fuck. I’m cunning, mad proper when I crash in ya dump. ^^These two lines here almost rhymed completely. Bonkers. “I bet you suck dick,” with a wink and a nod he acts ready to flip and it’s pissing me off so I clench up my fists - once I hit him, he drops, Pat’s caught what’s left of my drink without spilling a drop! ^^lol'd Good job fellas.

05-05-2014, 10:43 PM	#5
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,938 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	This was nice...Y'all mesh great together but I guess back to back to back multies with meaningful content does that.Thought the middle section was the strongest section yet as a whole is slick...sorry can't quote off of the device I'm on atm, enjoyable read tho. Rtf favor if you can on my shit with Vividlyvague...would be appreciated. Stay upwards brethrens.