AOWL SEASON 3 MAGAZINE — EDITION 6

[dyedinthewool]

That's not nice flapjack.

[PancakeBrah]

I'm a foul person.

[Frank]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion

[PancakeBrah]

Neither animal is "better" than the other. You guys are just carrying on a silly conversation for the sake of having a silly conversation. I won't stand for this, not now. Not ever. The fox is a carnivorous dog-like mammal that, if properly provoked, is harmful to human beings. The penguin has been marginalized by mainstream media. It's an animal, not some play thing, living in harsh tundra conditions. You both are simply silly. Weird for the purpose of being weird. These are affectations. If I met Witty in real life I would show him to an empty room with a starving fox. If I met DITW in real life I would assess her attractiveness. If found wanting I would show her to an empty room with a penguin. Do you know what the penguin would do? Nothing. Because it's a base animal that isn't aware of it's supposed "cuteness". This harsh reality would be a lesson learned. If Witty were to survive the fox, which I doubt because he is meek, I would sit him down with DITW and have them talk about this very conversation and how silly it was. It's rustling my jim jams that neither of you embrace the ruthless and calculating nature of nature. Enough is enough. We all have man poems to write. Please focus.

[Certain]

I'm a fowl person, in that fowls such as penguins are better than foxes.

[PancakeBrah]

"lol"
-Certain

[Certain]

Hi, El Pancake. How is your day going?

[PancakeBrah]

Good. I'm tired. I wake up at 5:50 every morning to lift. My brother has started going with me this week. Which is a positive in that I have a spotter. I enjoy people wanting to improve themselves. On the other hand, I use the gym as an escape and a release. I find that my strong anti-social tendencies are heightened and even embraced in the gym environment. When alone at the gym I blast some ignorant hip hop or rawk and get angry. It's not an overt anger, but I realize it's there. I then lift stupid heavy weights. So his going has me off-center, as I feel compelled to converse or answer any questions he may have. All in all I'll adjust. That's what always happens to everyone every time everywhere. You just adjust. Different becomes the norm, always. I also worked today. I stayed up late watching Dexter. Paired with the aforementioned waking up early, I was dragging ass today. Put off some assignments because fuck it. Conversed with some co-workers. We talked about the crazy St. Patrick's Day we all had at a bar in Minneapolis. This is fine. The fact we still talk about that night is troubling. Repetitive. Speaks to a lack of common interests, that we all have to go back to what should be a faded touchstone. They're just acquaintances so it's of no import. My boss will be getting replaced soon, which is excellent. I know it's normal to bitch about your boss but he truly is a lazy one. I won't shake his hand when he's canned. An attractive woman from a different office is at the cubicle next to me for the week, apparently. Which is nice. She has attractive breasts. Which is nice. I went home for lunch. Microwaved some chicken I had cooked previously. Ate that with some carrots. Serviceable lunch. I ate six slices of this amazing french bread, with butter, last night. Today was good, health-wise, though. Had some beef tips and broccoli for dinner. Watching Dexter now. Hoping to be asleep by nine tonight but I always get caught up with something, despite knowing I'm fucking myself in the morning.

[Witty]

@El Pancake where is your loyalty to The Fox?
@dyedinthewool knows that war with Witty is a war even a seasoned gladiator like herself can never win.

I thought we were bros :(

[Witty]

Your post was epic tho.

Even during my sadness I must pay homage to such a post.

[Witty]

Also, meek?

Lol plz pancake.

[PancakeBrah]

I once stabbed a kid in the leg with a pencil during lunch.

[dyedinthewool]

Originally Posted by El Pancake

I once stabbed a kid in the leg with a pencil during lunch.

Funny you say that. I once went through the same situation only I got him by his eye. And I was in 2nd grade. He broke my crayons and told me my mom wasn't going to pick me up from school.

[Witty]

I once threw a rock in this guy's face and got detention.

[PancakeBrah]

I once jerked off during family movie night.

[Witty]

I once licked a pile of dirt cuz my friend said it would make me magic.

[PancakeBrah]

I once correctly predicted who a girl would sleep with the next night whilst enjoying pillow talk after coitus with her, out loud.

[Witty]

Originally Posted by El Pancake

I once correctly predicted who a girl would sleep with the next night whilst enjoying pillow talk after coitus with her, out loud.

I once told a girl we couldn't date because we were cousins, even though we were not, and she believed me.

I was young and foolish, now I understand that the truth must always be told.

[PancakeBrah]

wtf you can't stab people in the eye with a....wtf.

wtf.

is he blind?

[PancakeBrah]

I once threw a steak knife at my brother fully intending to cause him bodily harm.