08-02-2013, 04:31 AM | #181 | |
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08-02-2013, 04:37 AM | #182 |
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@Gazette stop quoting or mentioning me unless you have a legitimate issue I need to deal with. It's 4:30 am.
You were in that thread, and this thread, posting with the fury of 10,000 virgins Your insight is not enlightening or well thought out. If you don't agree, fine. Just leave a note or edit it in your last post. My phone hasn't stopped vibrating from emails. Your grievances with our fatally flawed system and hierarchy will be carefully considered by the Netcees Administraton. I suggest contacting Knucklehead with your concerns. :)
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08-02-2013, 04:45 AM | #183 | |
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Oh fuck, sorry man, didn't realize my posts were somehow linked to your waking awareness. here's an idea though. stop talking to me and go away.
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08-02-2013, 04:46 AM | #184 |
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@Gazette excluding the capital remark, from a 3rd party standpoint I think it did
also I wanted to address the Line u quoted from pent up in one of ur original replies.. I don't feel it was one of those this just sounds nice without saying nothing... I don't rmbr it word for word, and I'll go look at it again after this reply to double check my accuracy, but it was about suicide... More in context not planned suicide, but suicide as a response to a response (this is the part I have to double check bc i don't rmbr the exact wording but if I don't edit or reply I rmbr correct) Last edited by Rawn M.D.; 08-02-2013 at 04:48 AM. |
08-02-2013, 04:49 AM | #185 | |
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Last edited by Gazette; 08-02-2013 at 05:00 AM. |
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08-02-2013, 04:56 AM | #186 |
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Gaz lol u can ask pent I've said the same thing u just said like word for word, multiple times even.. And If u even reread my comment/vote I kinda insinuate it in there as well... But this week I didnt find that to b the case, an if I did I Def would've said so bc although I think pent can write that is my main argument against him the majority of the time... This week I didn't feel it t was smart talk strung together with multi tho, but rather more character driven but that my opinion and I'll stop with that bc i don't feel like restating my vote
and I'm typing from my phone so excuse typos n shortness Last edited by Rawn M.D.; 08-02-2013 at 05:00 AM. |
08-02-2013, 05:15 AM | #187 |
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okay ... but if thats the case (and that WAS the case - I can pick out ten lines from his verse right now that were sensically tenuous at best) .. how did I lose to that? I'm just as capable of stringing together a tandem of flowery multies with some abstract, reader-reliant meaning, that's what most noobs do in a Topical.
But I know that, so I went for simple, concrete, accessible wording, put the complexity into developing characters and messing about with the timeline, Shit i even threw some Irony (the golden egg of all creative writing) into the mix, but what do I get? ... "the wording was off"... lol, GTFO man, there's noooo way my drop wasn't better thought out, better developed, less technically sound or less creative than that pile of generic shit. But do what ya like man, do me a favor though, re-read n pay proper attention the 'egg' lines in the first section, then the 'Blistered feet' lines in the last, think about it, then come back n tell me my 'wording was off'
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Last edited by Gazette; 08-02-2013 at 05:18 AM. |
08-02-2013, 05:38 AM | #188 |
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Firstly, I support Split Eight's actions here 100%. In the interests of fairness and transparency I will explain my reasoning quickly. We emailed once back and forth Gazette. I apologized for deleting your post and explained why it had to be done - A) it is was an unnecessary comment creating bias (see weekly FAQ's) B) while you may have been displeased at the votes by others, those votes were not so unjustified that they could be discounted. You responded that you understood, and you wouldn't do it again. You did the same thing again, so you were DQ'd.
Secondly, closing no-show contests in 10 minutes. Final call for @Witty, @Xnub, @Atheist and @Figurative. Last edited by zygote; 08-02-2013 at 05:42 AM. |
08-02-2013, 05:39 AM | #189 |
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Firstly I re read it
secondly I never personally said u words were off I said ur rhyming words were to imperfect (fanny/alley) and some of that gave it a sing song feel to me, and then i commented on ur scheming bc sometimes u go a, b, a (with the b rhyming with an internal b) and others u just a, a, a it and all I got from the egg line was cold eggs/overcooked eggs as a reference to y ur mad and going to do whatever nasty sht ahead as a foreshadow and blisters feet with another throwback reference done at the end.. So for continuity sake I see, but I don't really get much more then that out of it... Maybe I'm overtired I unno, but I doubt it.. Unless ur using them as metaphors for egg=new life like foreshadowing his meeting Alan and the two of them forging a sadistic (cold) bond that basically is new to him as a individual and changed him dramatically and the blistered feet = tired and overworked eluding t their victim being really old n then them working her over more.. But a that point I feel like I'm over thinking it, bc that's not really conveyed via story. And i f I REALLY want to reach eggs/gonads overcooked/old n dried out and eggs blister in pans while cooking but that a reach like big time. and sometimes dumbing things Down dumbs down the peice (but I think u were going more to give it characters personality,) personally only time I see a dumb down as beneficial is with a complex concept or emotion or for character personality and designation @Gazette Last edited by Rawn M.D.; 08-02-2013 at 05:50 AM. |
08-02-2013, 05:47 AM | #190 | |
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nah nah, c'mon man, be fair, i was pretty much goaded back into the argument, i innocently asked Vulgar for a breakdown, no sway, no nothin, then that bitch what-his-face made a smarmy comment i had to reply to. Look back at this thread man, it's all there
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08-02-2013, 05:59 AM | #191 |
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- [QUOTE=Rawn M.D.;109603]Firstly I re read it
secondly I never personally said u words were off I said ur rhyming words were to imperfect (fanny/alley) and some of that gave it a sing song feel to me, and then i commented on ur scheming bc sometimes u go a, b, a (with the b rhyming with an internal b) and others u just a, a, a it ok fair enough, I'm British, the rhymes works perfectly in my accent but I can see how you wouldn't read it like that and all I got from the egg line was cold eggs/overcooked eggs as a reference to y ur mad and going to do whatever nasty sht ahead as a foreshadow and no dude, did you not notice how i said in the early bar that i'll fuck her up if my eggs were cold ... then a few bars down i was describing Franks usual day, which consisted of Overcooked eggs? As in, she's usually so scared of the eggs being cold, she overcompensates? C'mon, irony, like i was sayin, I never see anyone re-reference concepts like that but it seems to have gone unnoticed anyway and sometimes dumbing things Down dumbs down the peice (but I think u were going more to give it characters personality,) personally only time I see a dumb down as beneficial is with a complex concept or emotion or for character personality and designation no, nothing was dumbed down, just contextualized, i used colloquial language because i was speaking in the first person of the characters ... that aint being simple, thats thinking how a common personality would speak, itd be fuckin strange if i broke out the metaphors and vocab while assuming the tongue of a small-town, wine-guzzling rapist yh? Anyway, yeah, i think im askin too much. I know i had the better bars tho
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Last edited by Gazette; 08-02-2013 at 06:04 AM. |
08-02-2013, 06:05 AM | #192 |
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See the way I took that eggs thing in that context was the exact opposite lol
Cuz I figured if his eggs r overcooked than he ain't Goin to eat them so they Goin turn cold n that's why he mad Moreover 'she' has yet to b introduced unless ur speaking on a former victim or spouse, and if that's the case u should have prefaced that... Irony is best executed when it's blatant n clear also that's what I figured u were doing w ur simple wording was making it colloquial and giving g ur characters personality (I said that in parentheses above and in my vote btw) |
08-02-2013, 06:12 AM | #193 |
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Before u comment I just peeped it again n u say mom so ya u do preface it but my mind takes away old hag and then links it with the future victim bc i have read it already... But that's doesn't detract from what I'm saying abovr
and even if u view that as irony it doesn't go with th e storyline it's like a side thought in a margin that at best speaks to his personality n behavior, but doesn't go deeper u put way to much credence in that I feel |
08-02-2013, 06:14 AM | #194 | |
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anyway, ain't a single line in mateys drop that could generate this kinda discussion, only questions i got for him are 'what the fuck does that even mean' kinna questions, so i'm 'appy
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08-02-2013, 06:15 AM | #195 |
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Btw I also want to say don't misconstrue my dumb down comment l.. I read ur piece last week, and I was already aware that u were not dumb
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08-02-2013, 06:19 AM | #196 |
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But man think about this instead of going with simple colloquial rhyming g u could have gone the other extreme and ur character development could have been if not jut as good, better bc it would o depicted deeper psychopathy then just a simple sadists n perverts
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08-02-2013, 06:20 AM | #197 | |
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hmmm, not sure i'm the one putting the stock in that tbh, i dont think me referencing 'mom' produces any link with the old woman at the end. theres no irony intended there, the irony i mainly put into it is how they both miserably failed simultaneously on their sexual quests, and then came together stronger for the final rape. kinda like your usual Hollywood, Hero story, but with an old-person getting beaten up and raped, its a pretty classic story arc tbh
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Last edited by Gazette; 08-02-2013 at 06:26 AM. |
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08-02-2013, 06:23 AM | #198 | |
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08-02-2013, 06:31 AM | #199 |
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No I got that lol ur misunderstanding me... I'm just saying ur putting a lot of credence in the irony of her overcooking his eggs bc she scared of him due to her knowing he Goin beat her if they cold.. Moreover, ur putting a lot of credence in ppl catching the subtle irony of it..additionally ur bolstering it as a highlight of ur verse
to me every topical that's good will have a few take away lines (for me their usually conceptually deep or insightful - but everyone is differnt) but what is th ultimate is the big picture, how it's approach ed, delivered, comprehended, and what can u take away. |
08-02-2013, 06:36 AM | #200 | |
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yeah, subjectivity, i get that. I just think alot of the writing devices i used in that drop went unnoticed, while i got picked out for superficial shit like capitalization, not very just, that's all
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