I have the worst luck with cars

So couple months back someone keys two panels of my car down to the metal.

Okay I say, bad luck.

So today I go to hop into my car for work and discover that someone has sprayed half my car including the rims with tar. Fucking. Road. Tar.

Ive spent the last 2.5 hours with the guy at work cleaning this shit off with boiling water. Now ive got some more little scratches from doing this which I will have to polish out.

Why do bad things always happen to good people?