Fear (From upcoming mixtape)

[e11even]

Written to Drake's "Fear"... No Hook. On my upcoming Substance Abuse EP.



(this is for every lie I ever spoke... the realest shit i ever wrote...)

before I die I wanna rest in peace- success n' green, listed supreme is wat i want incessant-ly... but I have yet ta give u the best of me... posters on the wall of my mind are grinders on instrumentals... so lets proceed... to break barriers, progress the speech... the intellectual, but less in sync... fuck an introduction... this is me... i wanted this to be as personal as it gets- but seems you still aint gettin me\// (so deeper down the rabbit hole we go)// jeeper sneakers with ratty hole (til 17 years old)// daddy never present, pain effervescing )from my soul)// void still depressin but but my heart wont let it go// so I replace it wit lessons i've collected in my growth// from a snotty nose to a father wit progressive roles\// role model like the pillsury mascot- (flows) in a stash box// (I boil) when u half hot// no longer say cheese- all I got is foes in mah past shots// so fuck life- i'm givin that hoe back shots// til niggas pop gat shots n' leave me in a black bag, trash or an ash pot// I grindin` til the cash stop// word to them blocks niggas stackin guap ad hoc// pardon my cliche- going ham, ock- no ham hocks// healthy as a damn ox// paul bunyan cud vouch, bitch// married with children, but i'm avoidin mah couches// i'll hook a nigga before I'm considered a trout bitch// but i'm still game if u open ur mouth bitch// I'm a sensitive dude... i bet it can show when i'm optin to be lyrical// I payin attention now like I did as a kid in school// only difference is I'm doin mah homework- gittin mah own work while I murderin ur instrumentals// old greats got me gettin mah goals straight// wife can't remember last time seein mah o face// imbalance in mah careers is makin me age// mah brother comin up, in footsteps that I hopefully pave// lil sister was like mah mom- now its turning her gray// cuz when this shit is fa real, its so hard ta play games// so that explains why songs are more therapy than tryna get hoes next ta me// cuz spillin blood on a beat is more fullfilling than chasin extacy// so i aint feelin the shine shit, still on my grind shit, bitches n' dollar sign shit// I'm more concerned wit fightin my way outta this grime shit// wondering will I ever get aligned wit good timing// cuz ain't nobody tryna sign niggas they can't design... shit/ is there really a place for me? black people call me white... is there really a race for me??// niggas shoutin TWO CHAINS!!!! but that shit ain't the taste for me...//

stop it- you listen to prophets, but do you profit?// smokin weed gets u in ur cockpit, but is you fly bitch// these niggas high at my lows so i'm lookin for happy medium// tryna put these kids thru school same time as feedin them// i'm a nigga wit a weak heart cuz these ho's is bleedin him// so i protect it, neglecting these hoes's preference// cuz i'm never goin back to where i previously referenced// so aware that no where is way better than here// so in reflection I see that nigga's daddy that never cared// I shared wit many that inspiration bein fatherless flared// 17 on that stoop givin the troops a father that wears... his teachings... a young nigga wit his crosses to bear// thats why my bro still listens- mah mother no longer cursin me// im on my own n walkin- no longer inside the nursery// but its still a mystery I make it each anniversary// doomed at birth in environments where idols murder fa currency// nutshell- not ta be a buzzkill but I must spill// wats real? Me being me or u claiming u bust steel?// dilemmas in life got my actions takin a pause//cuz times hard, regrettin my time off, as I defied God//

I just wanna leave a mark- big enough for someone ta notice this piece of art// give back to queen city with more than pieces of heart// newcomers buildin but ignorance tearin our peace apart// Honestly, somethins been stoppin me droppin these hotta pieces// niggas care more bout bad bitches n prada fleeces// live more for takin a life n not for the reasons// we deny our own emotions implying we lacking these shits// so while ya'll drop jewels i drop Sierra Leones// cut rocks outta my flesh ta show niggas just wat I'm on// exceptional at this stage, revealing now that im here// these tiers comin in waves, never climbing cuzza the fear.... to be different.


(n' thats real talk, nigga...)