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#1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,145
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Champed - Guerrilla writing league
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8 bucks an hour, livin check to check
mood is goin sour but what can you expect gotta black british boss who irons all his sheets with a rack fulla socks to match it for the week this other girl at my work, is a little off and maybe outta place asked me for my name and now she stalks my facebook page 10 notifications, like yo this is awesome, man was i excited but it was only posts and comments from that same bitch who "liked" it 99 taurus has got almost 200 thousand miles on it relying on a ford is like countin on a child wearin bonnets gets me from place to place but i keep seeing horrible imagery cuz when it finally breaks, i'll be stuck in florida's humidity now i'm aching down 95, sweating til i'm sore and winded hallucinations melt my mind, totally disoriented suddenly i'm gettin hungry and human flesh looks yummy i step into the street, slowin cars, my eyes red and runny seein kids rappin to beats so i reach through the passenger seat and laugh as i eat up his teeth and spit it back stabbin his cheeks stop eatin yourself, stop eatin yourself, you think i need help? could you please ask these cops why their bullets arent felt? might as well growl like an animal cuz this world's no longer human maybe being a foul-heightened cannibal is better than being stupid you think i give a shit? please! i'm stronger than pcp and get more ridiculous than this stack of debt fees pilin up into this metaphorical greed that my bank feeds to degenerates who still continue to breathe on my fuckin green i wrote this while listening to music, wasnt payin attention to flow too much, i just kept writing what came to mind. havin fun with it. i'll go back someday and edit it to a steadier rhythm
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Last edited by Bodey; 09-17-2013 at 01:37 AM. |
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#2 |
nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Braaaaap what's up?
lol@bonnets, describing your boss was funny. talkin bout people in your tummy was gross but then you flipped it and it was like they were eating their own cheek so it was funny again. liked the disoriented line. post moar.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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#3 |
SYRACUSE
Join Date: Jan 2013
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what up feminem...
good shit |
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#4 |
Senior Member
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haaa thanks. yeah how obvious was it htat i was listening to SSLP while writing this. got me in a mood. thanks for the reads guys
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#5 |
Mic Check
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this was dope. lots of super original rhymes here and had hella smoothness for the most part till maybe the very end. i really liked this, it also painted a picture pretty well. was introspective, was funny. good drop. also u were being down on ur life a little but more in a funny self deprecating way rather than depressed emo fagness. so props for that. was pretty real. def post more, check my 2 shits out!!!
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My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete. |
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#6 |
Keeper Of The Fresh
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Mayhem Gardens
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I can tell you didn't put a whole lot of thought into it. it reads like a keystyle going from a direct matter-of-fact approach to a more descriptive and imaginative one then to a more metaphorical ending. the flow was ok. off a bit in some lines and rhyme scheme could've been a little more intriguing. but all in all this wasn't a bad piece. i'll look for more of your work in the future to see what you do when you put in some real effort
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#7 |
Leave you flatlined.
Join Date: Feb 2013
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You only make $8/hr. let me retire you ma
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[B][CENTER][SIZE="5"] It's Aero join me at RAPBATTLES[/SIZE][/CENTER][/B] |
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#9 |
V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
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This was funny... felt like Office Space. The hilarity and anger spun together came off well. Keep trappin!
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Ahem. |
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#10 |
Senior Member
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I can tell you rushed through the whole thing, take your time, but dope verse.
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#11 |
consults Lloyd
Join Date: Aug 2013
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This was cool.
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#12 |
White Earl
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Hello, my love
I believe its time for another collab. Last one was epic. Let's outdue ourselves. Hit me up, still waiting on those naked pics you said you would send m also Lol. Hit me up baby
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
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#13 |
Senior Member
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I feel your pain girl thats a good thing for these pieces.. I love pieces and i can somewhat relate to
My 03 Taurus got liks 192, 000 on it lol Goo |
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#14 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
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Frank Metts yo, these tauruses seem like they'll go foreverrr. my friend's got a mercury milan with only 35000 miles on it and she's had more problems with that thing in 4 months than i have with my car in 3 years.
Genocide fuck yeah we're due for another collab. one that i'll actually take my time on. obviously when i come on here now, i'm not re-writing something i already wrote, i'm just droppin whats on my mind and then i leave. but i'm tired of that. i know what i'm capable of. whaddya say we start exploring some concepts and then i'll think about the naked pics Aero fuckin tell me about it. i dont know anyone who actually lives off less than 10 bucks an hour. ridiculous. |
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