breathe

[Diablo]

i can,

finally breathe. exhale vape smoke in silent relief
used to find my release in a pack of loud to quiet the demons
blind to all feeling, numb to the touch. self-reflecting puddles of blood
hungry for something more than the existence I couldn’t give up.
trust me I would given the chance, but opportunities scarce
the bruises we wear are badges for those who come through it prepared
blue as the air gets turned by a stubbed toe on the dresser
now we’re both under pressure, walking around hopeless as ever
coping’s a mechanism many tried but only few have mastered
unilateral contusion damage. yet to find it’s you that matters
the most. grab me my coat off the peg
home is the bed you lay in, spent last night on the sofa instead
emotional wrecking ball. mace hanging where my heart should be
part of me wondering if I should fold my cards and leave. half asleep
with a crooked neck. up I get and head to the kitchen
place my hand down next to the dishes we never did finish
cold remnants still with us. something like the love that we shared
a couple who rarely serve up anything but looks of despair
under the glare of expectation. resentful and cold
emptied emotionally. feels like the last beer at the end of the road
so where do we go from here? when every turn feels like a mistake
silence prevailing. a cold shouldered sign that you hate me
I’m tired of us fighting just lately, we’re too old to be doing this
the smile from your eyes becomes vacant and soulless. It ruins it
theres beauty in every wrinkle. that laugh from the cheekbones
the saccharine sweet tone of your honeyed voice makes me happy to be home
basking in these moments with you. unafraid cause we are us
it’s you making my heart thump, over a decade on. a statement to our love