Godcomplex 6-3 vs Ullr 4-2 - BUDDHA 4-0

[sral]

Week AOWL Season V, Week 11


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here!



Topic:

G/Luck

@Ullr @Godcomplex

[UnbornBuddha]

We meet again, let this be a spirited match.

[Ullr]

Piglet and Eeyore, Tigger and Pooh
all playing together, and with Cristopher too
a beautiful evening beneath the glistening moon
shining with stars reflecting prisms in view
The ball tumbles between them, Eeyore sits in the goal
kicking astroll Piglet trips and then rolls
and tumbles to the ground calling
"Ohoh! Silly me, I've gone and slipped in the cold!"
Pooh slides a to stop and says "Oh bother, why on earth are you sitting, Mr. Piglet?"
he twists and fidgets and lifts his digits
and takes the hand of Pooh who then lifts the Piglet
"I slipped, now my clothes are dirty! It stinks, it does indeed!"
Pooh giggles, "Boy, you certainly were a tumble weed
but tonight is a beautiful night, no use being mad and saying something mean!
Come with me, let's go up and see the moon over the rivers running free!
They skipped to the hill's top and Tigger tipped his tail and then simply stilled and plopped
Pooh held Piglet who was still in tears
"Look at the sky, you can see for about a billion years!"
"So many stars!" he called with the silliest cheer
Piglet smiled, no longer filled with his fears
hugged Pooh and said "Thanks, I'm just glad that you're here where it's brilliantly clear.
Let's take this moment and savor it!"
He giggled back "Oh Piglet, this is is my favorite."

[UnbornBuddha]

Nothing ever really happened at Hundred acre wood.
Piglet who had the biggest conscious from the group
Always told me, nothing is at it looks,
For the truth isn’t provided by context clues from a book.
I’ll have to sacrifice something I love for knowing to happen
My heart cringed because I knew the notion was madness;
Really all moments of grandness we chase are
-Subsets of dreaming and pursuing our oldest passion.
Yet, I still felt this urge to follow the neuronal patterns
And sacrifice the only thing I loved in this world, the honey bear.
At least, I’ll get to reveal why I feel so numb in here.
I’m not the only one; Eeyore is dismally gloomy for eternity
Perhaps, he too feels consumed by the disharmony.

Jolly as ever, Poo bear, hugged me tightly as I arrived.
Crying the fire from my mind, I looked lightly at his eyes,
And said: Poo bear, please forgive me for what I’m about to do.
He chuckled and said: Christopher, I know what you’re out to prove
Even if it means my demise, I’m still so proud of you.
But how did you know? He responded: I sensed it in my tummy
Yet, this time around, when I felt empty I wasn’t hungry.

The deed was done, but it all seemed so bleak and glum
My being corrupts seeking beyond the Cogito ergo sum.
Who I did I become, can I validate it by where I’ve gone?
Piglet then came asking where was Winnie the Poo?
I started ***kling, but not because I was feeling amused
But, because I realized this was just a silly cartoon.
This is why Poo bear’s allegorical death means little to you
Imaginary figments are expected to dwindle and lose
The importance they had when you were in your infancy and youth.
Tigger bouncing around is to throw infinity in a loop
So, yesterday’s malignancy is instantly rebuked;
Everything anew, Piglet never suggests the measures of truth
Instead, we watched Poo bear rummaging for pleasures of food.
My favorite day was when I disregarded the pressure to sleuth
Surrendered to good, even if it oozed from the netherworld’s womb

Illusion is still better than doom.

[Dearg]

Ullr, I liked this, from a concept point of view. I felt like the entire moral behind it was beautiful and it would make a nice poem or picture book for children. For a topical battle, I feel like it was a bit too simple. Not the concept, but the technical standing. The wording was smooth for the most part, there were a couple lines that needed revised. I mainly thought the rhyme scheme was TOO simple. It was really slow and left a lot of craving from start to finish. Overall a good read that could've just had a quicker pace. You really should consider children novelty though.

Godcomplex, this was MUCH more Topical ish. Though I feel like your opponent did a clearer job with his story, I felt you still brought a legitimate concept and lots of nice writing to back it up. Your wording was really smooth and from start to finish you maintained an enjoyable flow. This IS a topical battle, and I feel like you dropped a nice topical read. Keep at it.

If this was a children's story battle, Ullr would've won for sure. That shit felt almost professional. Though, it's not. It's a TOPICAL battle. So for the better topical verse...

Vote God

[Mr. J]

kicking astroll Piglet trips and then rolls
and tumbles to the ground calling
"Ohoh! Silly me, I've gone and slipped in the cold!"
^^^
This was just funny as hell to me, I really laughed my ass off here
well anyway.. after reading it one more time I thought this was nice take on unfolding a story
having a voice for the characters with their characteristics almost down to the stitches
I thought your verse was fun and it really showcased a different take on topicals funwise
if that makes sense otherwise I feel like you brought a fun twist here and painted a nice little story
nice work buddy

Piglet then came asking where was Winnie the Poo?
I started ***kling, but not because I was feeling amused
But, because I realized this was just a silly cartoon.
This is why Poo bear’s allegorical death means little to you
Imaginary figments are expected to dwindle and lose
The importance they had when you were in your infancy and youth.
^^^^
GC took an alternate route with this verse didnt you
adding a more grim approach as well as some interesting concepts
I really enjoy your verses due to their length & strength in ideas
although this time I was twisted by your words of who was voicing what
at which point I felt and overwhelming anxiety to read it again
the twist is an odd one and takes another read to take what you did all in
either way I felt you delivered a stellar verse here my friend..

v/I wish I could give this to Ullr, his verse was really enjoyable to read
it was short, it made me laugh my ass off, and it delivered a well balanced use of character development
it was odd at points? but you strike me as an odd one regardless so I wont hold it against you.
but then I read unborn complexs verse and Im like daaaaaaamn
I cant imagine how you decided to go this route but Im glad you did
it was more dark than you usually are with your verses but I enjoyed your journey
the progress worked well & the ideas unraveled nicely...
smooth work here fellas you really came here for the fisticuffs today
dope battle

v/GodComplexBuddha

[sral]

BUMP!

We need more votes on this one casting before next weeks matches can be set!

[Razah]

So this was pretty dope. I think I would've hated this topic, so kudos on you guys delivering dope verse.

Both guys are good writers. Both have their mechanics down, blah blah blah.

My vote is based on who I enjoyed more. Ullr's verse felt like it could've actually been a story written by whoever the fuck writers winnie the pooh shit. Buddha's verse was like the opposite of Ullr's. Ullr went with a more direct route, while Buddha took a different approach, something that wouldn't be a legit Winnie the Pooh type story. I actually enjoyed both, but Buddha's verse stood out to me more. Christopher could neverrr do that to Winnie the Pooh. Haha, I think that's the reason I liked it more. It was very, unexpected. Good shit, both of ya'll.

vUnborn

[EtH]

I'll sum this up quick as I'm hours late on voting.

I really liked Ullr's. It was simple but pleasant and had a solid rhyme scheme. My only problem is I felt it was a tiny bit too children's story and lacked a little bit of depth.

God, you have a MASSIVE downside is that your rhyme schemes are still very off. For someone like me who really likes the rap side of topicals, I really hate seeing broken multis or offbeat patterns. None the less, you brought some interesting ideas and concepts in here which is interesting to me.

Overall, I felt one had a little bit more thickness to their topic so I preferred that. One went too simple and I don't feel it paid off.

MVGT - God.

[sral]

GC wins