Week 9 Mag

[Sharp]

Netcees Battle League
Week 9



[INTRO]

Whatsgood u slimy dirtbags, its ya boy AK & Sharp fizzel w/ Knucklehead.. here to bring u another Magazine from the best battle league on the net today, the NBL. This past week was pretty fuckin good even w/ the site goin down we still held it together & got shit done like real NCG's do, props to everyone for voting & show & re-voting if yah'll votes got erased lol. We got some serious talent in the mix now, Hensley is back an barley seems rusty tbh Murda sho also, Neighbor is in the title match vs sn00p which will be fire. This week looks dope & we only keep gettin better. Lets get into this weeks mag u flaming pussy farts.





[Reviews]
[Sharp]

Champ Match: Sn00p 4-0 vs Tic Tac 3-0
At least they showed

Tic Tac's first sway posts. They grow up so fast :'). Welcome to the losing in champ matches phase of being mid tier buddy (0-3 in NBL and 0-2 in BA right here). Both dudes were mad busy and I'm glad both managed to show up in time. They both had some iffier bars with some good hits sprinkled in and the effectiveness of those hits really split the voters decision. Tac started off strongly with the Deuces line but kind of fell off afterwards, with his closer being quoted by some. Sn00p had a little more consistency and most voters felt he took it by about a hair, though votes fluctuated a lot before settling there.

Contender Match: Fraze 3-0 vs Neighbor 2-0
Fraze shows sportsmanship and Neighbor capitalizes

First and foremost props to Fraze. Dude had a NS win deleted due to the site crash and wipe and easily could've taken it back when it was offered, but he decided to let Neighbor show. I always want battles to go down when they can and it's great seeing people in the league share that sentiment. Fraze's verse wasn't bad as a whole, but it did have a fatal flaw with concepts. He's shown to be a good writer before and last week was no exception. The way the concepts were treated made them a lot more effective than they would've been in most other dude's hands. If he can bring a few more creative or fresh flips in upcoming battles he'll be a threat. Neighbor is a FN champion so keying up fresh ideas is definitely a strength of his and this 8 line drop was no exception, though it does leave a question mark for how he'd handle competition from Sn00p this week. Either way Neighbor took the W comfortably.

jilti 5-2 vs ispaz 2-1
jilti wins by KO
Eyespaz showed a lot of promise here. I thought both guys had pretty respectable drops but I know what jilti's capable of, eye I've never really read before and this was a good early showing. idk how much experience dude has but he had concepts that just needed some tweaking and he'd be solid competition. jilti hopped onboard the gunbar train that we've seen taking off lately and delivered a consistent verse, not much that could really be faulted here and he gets the win in a good one.

Lil Muffin 2-2 vs Destroyer 1-1
Muff wins in Split Decision
Well, I thought Muff won. This was another close one and both guys had their share of hits and misses. Honestly some of Destro's stuff was good, but I thought muff's pen pals was lotb and that Des had worse misses ('killing me smalls' had to be read in a pirate accent to seem natural). Voters were definitely split over who had more effective bars but the voting population generally thought Muff was more effective. In other news I'm enjoying my stay in Shady City, population NBL illuminati.

murda sho 1-0 vs Zelphish 1-0
Sho wins by KO
This was wildly close, props to Zelph for hanging when some people thought he wouldn't. Murda didn't come with anything crazy but he was pretty consistent overall. Zelph had good wording but some iffier concepts that held him back. I actually thought they were pretty even going off of what I quoted, but the big difference was non quotes and misses, which I thought murda had an advantage with. Props to both, this one turned out better than I was expecting.

Lotto Smirk 0-1 vs seyance 0-0
Lotto wins by Split Decision
This definitely wasn't the best I've seen from either and pretty much every voter agreed. Rust was a big factor for both. Lotto has always had concepts but his wording was something he tuned up a lot last season. Once he gets back into it he should be solid but last week definitely had a lot of ideas that could've gotten better treatment. Seyance was either rusty, figured he could beat what Lotto posted, or both, and while he had more simple or predictable ideas his wording was what made them hit. Voters were split on who had the better hits, but Lotto's concepts proved to be more effective for most.

c0up 0-0 vs john hensley 0-0
Hens wins by KO
This was a dope rewelcoming to both of this heads who made it enjoyable. Both had a pretty solid verse and most voters felt they had 3-4 solid quotes each. c0up ended up showing last minute so his verse was pretty effective all things considered. Hensley had some solid, simple yet effective wordplay that either hit without a problem or was too basic while c0up had hit-or-miss wording. Some ideas definitely could've hit much harder with better execution but this was a good battle for both. All told Hensley got it pretty easily.





[Top Punches]
(in no order)
[Allen]

Murda sho vs Zelph
Im bad as u think, .com & org I topped the ladders with ink
While Zelda type of nigga that got smashed bro no matter the Link


Sn00p vs Tic Tac
tic tac a challenge? plsss. it's not just that killing this geek's simple...
when it comes to easy, TT looking like Pie. & not talking about the greek symbol


Tic Tac vs Sn00p
Y’all think this dude can box? Lol watch sn00p get dropped..
Fuck a bedtime story. One punch’ll put this German faggot to Sleep…Gute Nacht


Neighbor vs Fraze
When it came to Contendership, you were never on the brink of discussion
Even the Grammer shows Frasier running on air.. trust, I'll make ya shrink if you buzz-in


Destroyer vs Muff
she still got fucked up tho, she's prolly still bleeding right now
I got mad so I gave Hermione... nah thats a story JK Rowling won't even write down


Muff vs Destroyer
Rifle equipped. U can run but u die today
50 cal Rds called penpals..they go write straight to ur heart from miles away


John Hensley vs c0up
Wack disser. There's no Cinderella story w/ this ass kisser.
If he shows up to Ball, it's steppin out of a pumpkin in glass slippers.


c0up vs John Hensley
I prepare for battles so I can attack n dent
so u'll lose because u didn't Prep John John but this ain't no smack event


Zelph vs Murda Sho
n ur girl said u were lame murda, just a joke of the past
so when i give her a parodys nuts dnt be surprised if she chokes on her laugh





[Noshow Shine]


Wanderer vs Razah

When it come to skill you slackin & not mentioned in high places
would give you the Finger but you don't need an Index to see we're on different Pages
I tell it to a ho straight. won't even wear a rubber & still fuck with ease
you tryna be different with lines that ain't hittin.. Guess you caught that Muff disease
So you bang without a roofie cos a desperate chick lets you in?
that's a win by Raise Standards and chicks need to do that if they gettin with him
Type to purchase tutorials on how to rip off other spitters bars
claim you don't pay a Fifa it, you're more corrupt than their officials are
Ya under-productive crack fiend. I know your career is done
he's always Office ass so how could he hold down a job in one


Knucklehead vs arsenic


@arsenic aka Profit aka GAYTON aka 1,000 wack aliases

U greasy loser. U're a leper n lonely, leave this place stupid
They say u are what u eat... & that XL pepperoni pizzaface proves it
Ur the biggest fagot of all the fagots, even hairlips more clever
He's just tryna work for Bang Bros, while you been doing that forever
We hate u here yet u keep coming back u fat clingy whore
You just can't ever fit in.. on NC, in normal clothing or through a door
Every time u try to be a new txtcee, but the fagotness still inta ya
If u can't handle the heat... I hope u end up like the thousands in India
Fuck ur state u cornfed fraud, it's fagots like u that grace acres
Indiana is home of the Pacers.. & ur dirty lard family all rockin Pace makers
K own resorts. Ur life better than mine? It'll never happen G
I sit under Palm Trees.. U wear shirts w/ em on it & hit on waiters at Applebees
Oh but u did get pussy once, or so u say. ur trust depleted
Remember when ur "girl" was kissin other dudes on Insta... no punch needed
shoulda known better.. Thought I'd vs. a dope alias & make some slick rhymes
Last time someone was this dissapointed, ur father was holding u for the first time

fuck u

what a waste of a week





[Interview with Sn00p]
[Sharp]

Alright Sharp here with the reigning NBL champ, Sn00p. What's up dude?

nothing much right now. last weeks were pretty hectic, so these days i'm just chilling. enjoying the start of the summer & everything that comes w/ it. life's good.

What are your thoughts on your current champ run, which is in it's 3rd week (making it tied for the longest of this season)? How do you think you'll handle your opponent, Neighbor, this week?

well, it's pretty dope that i'm still champ. someone once said that you're only a champ of a league once you've defended the title. that always stuck w/ me, so i'm glad i'm in this position.
neighbor is one of the dopest battlers in my opinion. but our last run in was pretty fucking close & he barely came out w/ the victory, so i think i definitely can win. i'm a big fan of him still sticking to his own style of formulating punches nowadays and getting wins w/ it. looking forward to the match.

So your last two battles have all boiled down to last minute keystyles. Will we get a chance to see the Sn00p we remember this week?

i hope so. keys usually make me include a lot more filler type bars & it kinda sucks knowing u didn't go as hard as you could've. tryna avoid that, but sometimes life gets in the way, you know.

Who do you want to see get into this league? Is there anyone you want to battle that is around (signed in or otherwise)?

i really hope @Orc comes back. he was always one of my favorites to read. and i want to battle hensley some time. he's one of the remaining living legends of text and i don't think we've ever battled actually (as far as i can remember). time to change that

What do you think would improve the battling scene or even the entire site right now? Once NBL wraps up, what would you like to see come afterwards?

i think the site and the NBL are both looking dope at the moment. we have ppl showing, voting, signing in. a big factor in that is the absolutely reliable moderation, so props to both you & allen for actually being around to do stuff and do it well and on time. it's heavily underrated, but having modded the league for some time, i know how much work it is.
a tournament as well run as the league would be cool as well. tournaments especially really depend a lot on the moderation and mags. so if someone reliable is willing to do something, i think it could be dope at this point

What are your thoughts on the Key Grand Prix, the first .org tourney to get to the finals?

personally, i don't like generic bars in key style tournaments, because those always feel prewritten to me. so i'm kinda surprised so many ppl are voting for them. (and no, this isn't about my battles or my opponents or smth.) but i guess that's up to ppl's preferences. i think it's cool that the tourney has gone relatively smoothly, even w/ things like the servers acting up. it's amazing how there's always ppl around that will help out modding. and by that i mean, actually just going ahead & doing stuff when others are not around to do it. that's refreshing to see.

Who are your top battlers right now?

@Allen Knight has refined his style a lot. i like reading all of his verses nowadays, and he's active all over the site, so he comes to mind instantly. also, @Junto has been dropping some dope shit. he already said he's an alias, so i expect even more to come from him. @Tic Tac is definitely and up and comer you'd have to mention. and of course you have all the people that are on everyone's list, like @Strikta @King Karaoke, @murda sho, @ill nik-A, @john hensley. @c0up is someone i got my eye on. and i really hope @Lil Muffin hits us w/ that shit we know he's capable of delivering again. shout outs to @Neighbor for staying true to his style. i probably forgot some cats as well. no offense intended in that. i'd say that overall the percentage of ppl that could be a deserved champ of the league is pretty high compared to recent iterations of the league. and that's really dope

Thanks for doing this short interview! I'll give you the last word for any shoutouts/callouts/short stories/gun barzz.

thanks for having me. & you saying short story reminded me of one of my favorite short stories that's actually free to read on the internet, so everyone should go ahead & do that. pz12

[Analysis: Is NBL becoming Grittier?]
[Sharp]

One of the trends I've noticed in the last month or so is the prevalence of grittier, URL-style flips and wordplay. Not that this is good or bad, just something that caught my attention so I decided to put on my science hat and delve into it. To measure the uhnnn factor I will be using the Eddie scale, which ranges from to

let's begin with sample from our early season work


Allen Knight vs Mutilate, Week 2
ur sluts a fat piece of shit & eatin's wreckin her bones
Cuz your Dollhouse cheeseburgers the size of fuckin replica homes


yes... classic AK. While this is solidly insulting, it doesn't quite have that same dirtyness to it we're seeing today. I give it:


jilti vs Defiant, Week 3
personal trainer w/ iron swords & hatchets, put corpse in caskets
let Defined his family all shredded like they signed up for the total package

mmm... I'm detecting something close to the level of malevolence we've become accustomed to, though still well within the standard NC formula. I would describe this as


Cashius vs jilti, Week 4
What set, faggot? Blue or red? Still get stomped...you'll never find respect
I don't care what LA Gear you rock...you'll get lit up if you EVER try to step


Now we see the trend start to take hold... note the closer and it's aroma of grindtime... there are no words for that, only


Sn00p vs Junto, Week 6
& to be sure he dies in the dirt, i empty the mag when fighting this nerd
make the whole clip dissappear like no, i don't need help w/ microsoft word




Junto vs Sn00p, Week 6
Got a shank for your spleen, plus this spade that'll have your bowels shoveled
I could always shoot. But my gameplan's attack ur center like he's in early foul trouble



aawwwww shit this is where it happened. FUCK. Week 6 NBL took OFF


Neighbor vs Destroyer
Congrats on the robbery.. don't even act like you pushed Orc around
You dodged a TJ Combo, but my Killer Instinct'll show you what Fulgore's about


Tic Tac vs jilti
Your Feng Shui is off, so I’ll end ya life when I spout the chrome
Fuck a funeral. I’ll leave pieces of you in every room…That’s makin ya house a home


Sn00p vs Allen Knight
deaden this fag. make him kiss the pavement then step on his back
have the Kirby where i make ur mouth open wider than his tryna get a special attack




Muff vs Destroyer
Rifle equipped. U can run but u die today
50 cal Rds called penpals..they go write straight to ur heart from miles away





Conclusion
Yes, we've gotten gritter. And here's my theory for what's caused it:

• The Entrance of Key Players, such as Sn00p, Junto, and Neighor to a decently gritty cast of Cashius, AK and jilti
• NOME5 and the variety of links posted on this site
• The evolution of Muff - like or it not I think him talking about it constantly did something to bring them back in vogue.

All that's really left to say, my fellow NCGs, is





[Cypher Review]
[Sharp]

Chyeahhh

@Knucklhead is cursed, I disperse with pleasure
he can runs tourneys and sites, better than he can put a verse together

Tbh I wasn't feeling as much from dude as I normally do and I normally like the style. If he were more personal and flipping shit that was going on he coulda done some damage but for this one he got in a lil late and went for swaggy stuff, which wasn't bad but not too hard.

ill nik-A

ya know yall cant fuck with wisdom
I don know whats worse here... the wordplay or the competition
dudes yall are wack, I conclude it with facts
Knuck thinks he can carry the league & just last night he blew out his back

I don't think nik gave a fuck here and thats cool. Just quoted some stuff that I thought hit.


Knucklehead

my chick fucks with me only. just an hour ago I broke some springs
I hit her witha Sonic Boom.. while u were raging over not getting enough gold rings
Ur not worth killing, just a beat down. I won't even go postal
U'll be on 1 knee wishing you were dead just like YOUR marriage proposal
Before I settled down I had bitches in pairs, u never been that far
If we see Allen in the middle of a mess.. it's just Muffs wack Edgar Poe bar
might drop wack at times, but 9/10 my verse >yours 'cus bars r hot
There's more Heisenberg's than urs.. I hope u become him & get cancer then shot
But u to accuse? Ur not creative at all, u suck a bunch
U post disc forum disses bout ryu fire punching more than ryu has ever punched


Allen Knight

im nice & ur on'em E pills, acting all happy loser
my concepts are Limitless, ur just strung out on'em pills like Bradly Cooper
ur sluts a slut bitchass nigga, let the topic gloom
any Guile tap that, pussy felt like she got hit w/ a force of a sonic boom
on NC.1 u were a outcasted faggot, i hate this tramp
found out u were Judin we all treated u like a pussy in a consentration camp
ima execute u in cold blood faggot, bare it homo
ull be on 1 knee seein ur life flash before ur eyes like ur marriage proposal
death to this recycling faggot, wen shots buck u hear it
cuz if u run up in Alehouse that many times u'll get turned into a fuckin spirit
i'll put ur whole bloodline on drugs, have ur lives damaged
hook ur family on Iceberg & 1 hit'll bring'em down slower than the titanic
seth ur shit should be in the dumpster, its so damn weak
every bar from U.S.S.R trash & deserves to get spinning piledrived by Zangief
u dont wanna scrap w/ the god, this fool is weak hearted
ill slam u from the floor to the fuckin Wahlberg till ur spine & skull are Departed


Now we get into the meat of this cypher, Knuck v AK. Some of their bars taken out of context make it harder to see how they hit, but this was a cool cyph that turned into kind of a battle with rounds between these 2. I think the big factors were Allen having some serious keying ability and Knuck giving up. Knuck's flips were solid but Allen coulda won a fight night with this kind of stuff. Enjoyable read but Allen just had harder hitting shit. Woulda liked to see more out of pretty much everyone (especially Tic and jilti showing up to drop just one bar each lol) but Allen won a pretty good one here.





[Around the Site]

-Martyrs for an Abstract Cause has begun and the first round's verses are in - check it out, this should be a dope topical tourney run by none other than Vulgar

-Chyeahhh predicts an 8.0 earthquake or higher to occur in the US by Saturday, June 6th. I've got my calendar marked.

-Alien, Eddie, and Malachi all suddenly exist again.

-The Trial of Muff went down and gave us these gems among others:

Originally Posted by quaker oats

from one breakfast food to another:

you my nigga Muff, and Pancake I'm still wit you
fuck the beef Cereal Killa, I miss you - and that's just been real wit you

Originally Posted by Bags

I get here in 2010. I hear murmurs of muff.....he's so cool. Good at wordplays. He's in dohpe...

IS DRENCROM. WAS PASSED DOWN THE SWORD. THE TEXT SWORD. WIMBLEDON. WIMBLEDON WIMBLEDON WIMBLEDON WIMBLEDON ANY NIGGA IN MY WIMBLE.....DON! wen I first got here Muff's name held weight....he was Reay good at wordplays..WIMBLEDON WIMBLEDON FUCK U FUCK FUCK ING COCKSUCKING LONER TEARS IN UR TEDDY GRAMS LOOKIN FUCKBOY.

I'm sorry I lost my composure.

Thank you for time and consideration.

Good day.