Round One: Chat and Prediction

[Witty]

I'm the grim reaper, a thrill seeker with some ill sneakers, my will's eager to kill leaders, you need to chill 'fore heaters meet your grill, deplete your will, defeat your skill, show you you're still weaker.

[Adonis]

Rules state: Each vote below the minimum of 3 means you start off round two negative votes

Example... If all battles closed right now and Tyson has cast zero votes, in Round Two he will be already losing by three votes. If he were facing say Witty, who has two votes, Tyson would be down two votes at the begining of battle due to One of Witty's lack of votes negates one of Tyson's



Voting Tally's

Thank you

GodComplex -3
Argh -3
Pinot - 5 Votes you beautiful soul
Mr. J - 4 votes you kind asshole
MMLP -3
Pent uP -3
Cimmerian -3


Needs One More Vote

@Witty
@NYCSPITZ
@PiE

Needs Two More Votes

@Diode
@Vividlyvague


Needs three more votes

@Bags
@Frank
@Soulstice @dead man
@TYSON



If I missed something let me know. I preemptively apologize and will correct asap. Working on mag so I'll be on for a bit

[Cimmerian]

@Adonis , I voted for Pent UP, Pinot Grij, and Razah.

Cimm.

[Adonis]

Originally Posted by Cimmerian

@Adonis , I voted for Pent UP, Pinot Grij, and Razah.

Cimm.

Word, I knew you dropped three, I'm re-checking now but I got you. Much appreciated

[Cimmerian]

Originally Posted by Adonis

Word, I knew you dropped three, I'm re-checking now but I got you. Much appreciated

No worries. Thanks for herding cats.

[Adonis]

I ball, you watch from steal bleachers. Witty David, I'm Goliath, but you will never copper feel neither. Like me people did Jesus, you to can get either'd. Be it by meat cleaver or choke hold a la Dennis Siver. I'm the real Notorious, fuck you and your Nations Bitch Leader


That was for @Witty

[TYSON]

Will vote tonight.

[Mr. J]

@Adonis don't stray from the challenge >_0

[Adonis]

Originally Posted by Mr. J

@Adonis don't stray from the challenge >_0

I'm always game broseph

Always writing too whether I post it or not, I am literally a writing junkie

Unfortunately I have to write a mag, this will take up today and tomorrow


But if you write up 10-20 I can match before bed. And I by match I mean like gasoline that ass

[Mr. J]

You have a middle man to choose the topic...

[UnbornBuddha]

I did 4 votes!

And will battles be up by Friday?

[Pharaohs Army]

Bringing this up as a chat item, a perspective from a relatively green topical voter/writer

I've read the @MMLP vs. @PentUp verses a couple times each.

Was about to vote, but I truly don't feel like I can contribute a vote. I am leaning slightly towards one, but...I'm not bein a dick here; it's just not my "thing", but I will keep dipping my foot in the water.

As a man of words I'm having trouble expressing what I wanna express here, let alone attempting to express a "vote explanation", lol.

Obviously some good metaphors in both.. And good rhyming.. Just... too thick. Too heavy..

I guess it's personal stylistic preference.
You guys are too good and rhymie for your own good... i.e. I enjoy super-rhymie stuff, but (TO ME) it seems to work better if it's bragging or violence or humor or battlez... as opposed to a serious topic or story, where one should strive to be concise despite one's instinct to rhymerhymerhyme.
for example MMLP is a dope writer(his verse in AOWL impressed me big-time), but tbh I view his first-round story here as over-rhymed and kinda shitty. Meaning it's superfluous.
and PentUp... too thick bro. Redundant a few times. BUT I MEAN ITS GOOD WRITING, BOTH OF THEM

So yeah I'm 0-6 and don't have too much credibility, but I Hope ya'll in this terny understand what I'm trying to convey here.
Like I said. Dip feets in water. *Back to keying jarbled mania, I guess*. lol.

&thanks to voters-- in my first round vs. Witty-- for the constructive tips and breakdowns. I realize technicality is usually my downfall in anything I do... Few days ago I was taking my verse apart and trying like 5 different ways to display it. Frustrating tbh. Ended up just going with my original format. Basically I'll take L as long as people understand that limitless kinda rhymes with fingertips.
Ironically, in most things I write I put technicality above all else. Which I guess we could say is a big problem, since I often fail@'showing' others. It's been years of a struggle lemme tellya.

I coulda just said I didn't vote so I could "save votes" for ppl who need them.
P.S. @Adonis^ I haven't crunched the numbers but I have a feeling that mathematically voters who are "late to the party" might be left in the cold and could be killed by the voting rule, particuarly if there are a bunch of sweeps. So plz take that into account before you actually punish anyone by the letter of the law.. I understand it's a fine line though-- not voting(lazy) VS. not voting early(and being screwed).

GL all in next rds

[Cimmerian]

Originally Posted by Pharaohs Army

Bringing this up as a chat item, a perspective from a relatively green topical voter/writer

I've read the @MMLP vs. @PentUp verses a couple times each.

Was about to vote, but I truly don't feel like I can contribute a vote. I am leaning slightly towards one, but...I'm not bein a dick here; it's just not my "thing", but I will keep dipping my foot in the water.

As a man of words I'm having trouble expressing what I wanna express here, let alone attempting to express a "vote explanation", lol.

Obviously some good metaphors in both.. And good rhyming.. Just... too thick. Too heavy..

I guess it's personal stylistic preference.
You guys are too good and rhymie for your own good... i.e. I enjoy super-rhymie stuff, but (TO ME) it seems to work better if it's bragging or violence or humor or battlez... as opposed to a serious topic or story, where one should strive to be concise despite one's instinct to rhymerhymerhyme.
for example MMLP is a dope writer(his verse in AOWL impressed me big-time), but tbh I view his first-round story here as over-rhymed and kinda shitty. Meaning it's superfluous.
and PentUp... too thick bro. Redundant a few times. BUT I MEAN ITS GOOD WRITING, BOTH OF THEM

So yeah I'm 0-6 and don't have too much credibility, but I Hope ya'll in this terny understand what I'm trying to convey here.
Like I said. Dip feets in water. *Back to keying jarbled mania, I guess*. lol.

&thanks to voters-- in my first round vs. Witty-- for the constructive tips and breakdowns. I realize technicality is usually my downfall in anything I do... Few days ago I was taking my verse apart and trying like 5 different ways to display it. Frustrating tbh. Ended up just going with my original format. Basically I'll take L as long as people understand that limitless kinda rhymes with fingertips.
Ironically, in most things I write I put technicality above all else. Which I guess we could say is a big problem, since I often fail@'showing' others. It's been years of a struggle lemme tellya.

I coulda just said I didn't vote so I could "save votes" for ppl who need them.
P.S. @Adonis^ I haven't crunched the numbers but I have a feeling that mathematically voters who are "late to the party" might be left in the cold and could be killed by the voting rule, particuarly if there are a bunch of sweeps. So plz take that into account before you actually punish anyone by the letter of the law.. I understand it's a fine line though-- not voting(lazy) VS. not voting early(and being screwed).

GL all in next rds

@Pharaohs Army

You definitely should vote and share your thoughts. If people get annoyed by them, it's their problem.

I voted on the first three battles that were open. I didn't have a chance to read yours. I did this morning. My suggestions are:

1. Try to strive to rhyme more. I understand that you are of the mind that "rhyming" is best suited for violence and battling. But that's a minority view. You are essentially ignoring the library of rap music that doesn't deal with those topics.

2. Try to work on phrasing. For example, you wrote:

"but i think i'll be Sedentary- until i reach the cemetery."

The idea is great for the topic. Could it be improved by revising it to "sedentary until the cemetery?" I think so.

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Keep writing.

Cimm.

[Pharaohs Army]

Originally Posted by Cimmerian

@Pharaohs Army

You definitely should vote and share your thoughts. If people get annoyed by them, it's their problem.

I voted on the first three battles that were open. I didn't have a chance to read yours. I did this morning. My suggestions are:

1. Try to strive to rhyme more. I understand that you are of the mind that "rhyming" is best suited for violence and battling. But that's a minority view. You are essentially ignoring the library of rap music that doesn't deal with those topics.

2. Try to work on phrasing. For example, you wrote:

"but i think i'll be Sedentary- until i reach the cemetery."

The idea is great for the topic. Could it be improved by revising it to "sedentary until the cemetery?" I think so.

Anyway, I hope this helps.

Keep writing.

Cimm.

Appreciate the comment, and also the phraseology suggestions.

I'll try to clarify-- I didn't Not Vote on the battle because I was worried about other people being annoyed by my thoughts... I didn't vote because I felt so out of my element to the point where I could not even judge, much less be fair or explanatory.
Basically, I can see that it's "good writing", but to my brain it's just too much.
I'd like to think I can Be abstract, Write abstract, Appreciate abstract, write metaphorically, write story-telling, etc etc

But when I read both verses I just think "what?..why?"
I am not knocking rhymes.. rhymez are our thing here..
I am just saying that, in my opinion, over-phrasing something, or wording a sentence in a convoluted matter for the sake of rhyme, turns me off in topical environment, whereas in cyphers/battlez/humor/violence/brags... I consider it par for the course, and like to do it myself.

Maybe I just can't admit to myself that I'm out of my element or In over my head; lol.
--

"but i think i'll be Sedentary- until i reach the cemetery."

Could it be improved by revising it to "sedentary until the cemetery?" I think so.

(already being hypocritical) I usually think in terms of multi-syllables... so I guess I flowered that phrase up, for rhyme. lol

I'm not "stressing" these aspects, but if you'll notice "be" and "reach"... hell, I could go back even further and point out "think" and "til".

Perhaps I just see/hear things differently.
For example, in Buddha's verse:

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=122388

pinot grij said:
GC - I felt like rhyming nuclear/nucleus is taking the easy road too much.

Razah said:
Although, I disagree with Pinot about the nuclear/nucleus rhyme. While reading, crucifix/nucleus & nuclear/ruined her are what rhymed to me.

Argh said:
The "sewer, dirt" and "nuclear/nucleus" rhymes were my only pain points.

I disagree with all...
from GC's verse I see:

code of Lucifer
sown to the crucifix.
(ex)plosions became nuclear
showed us their nucleus.

Now, I'm not disagreeing that we've all seen "cleaner" excerpts from GC.
But frankly I'm a little perplexed at how dope writers such as yourselves can not see these obvious multi's.
When rhyming phrases rather than words, things become much more palatable, easier to bend, and sometimes even 'cool-sounding'...
--

My own verse in this terny was nowhere near what I wanted.
Learned that unless a topic "inspires" me it is not "easy"... Something to work on / practice.

Thanks for bearing with me, with my lengthy explanations and curiosities.

[Ghost1]

Lol but u a fagit 5ho

[Pharaohs Army]

everything's about me, bags... so i'll just assume you were addressing me.
what is "5ho?"
F OFF!

[grafx]

voting here soon

[Mr. J]

@Adonis where is that topiiiiiiiiiiccccccccc

[Adonis]

Originally Posted by Mr. J

@Adonis where is that topiiiiiiiiiiccccccccc

Pick one bro. Actually pick a bunch and send them to me for round two topics.


Everyone do this please

@league

[Mr. J]

But.........I don't like doing things I dont need to do...













Fuck