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Old 08-03-2014, 07:41 PM   #21
david stern razor burns
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Extremely enjoyable display of rhyming prowess. The metaphors describing the relentless ravaging of Dan's harlot of a sister were both creative, original and highly entertaining. For this being a Cypher it was most impressive. Keep up the excellent work, brother.
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Old 08-03-2014, 08:08 PM   #22
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i think this was dope. impressive rhyming, particularly in the first part.
IMO you should have put a space or dash between goosepimples ("goose pimples" or "goose-pimples") to help show the rhyme with "roots in her"..
"tweeter turns into the seashore" is a tongue twister, but i that's partly cuz i suck, so after a few tries it was OK... but those are minor issues, as i believe it was well done.

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Old 08-03-2014, 10:43 PM   #23
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Dope why bb banned niggas?
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:37 PM   #24
Eŋg
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well yea this was how i expect you to write re: feed in your other piece.

your playful treatment of language can be a pleasure.
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