WEEK TEN: CANDY (2-6) vs SINACOG (0-3) CANDY WINS

Adverse · 06-19-2022, 02:14 AM

Candy - I always start your verses off with high hopes, as they seem to be going somewhere incredible but they just wind up shooting them selves in the foot usually by getting super preachy and overstuffed with material. It’s honestly hard to hone in on what’s going on when you have two - three thoughts per line. I dig your style and i respect you as a writer, but I’d like to see something with a more linear plot line, something we can follow as voters. Liked some of the imagery here and the attempt to tackle the topic.

Cog - All been said and done my friend I like your rhyme schemes but you don’t really say ANYTHING, even when the topic caters to you as an individual you find a way to go off on a tangent and fuck it up.

I pitted you two against each other for the similar backstories, once esteemed writers who have changed their style drastically and can’t really find a foothold to climb their way back into the top ranks. I think Candy still has his talent lying under his lackadaisical writing, Sinacog I’m not too sure of

V/ Candy was just more intrigued by his piece and thought it was overall better

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06-19-2022, 02:14 AM	#1
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	Candy - I always start your verses off with high hopes, as they seem to be going somewhere incredible but they just wind up shooting them selves in the foot usually by getting super preachy and overstuffed with material. It’s honestly hard to hone in on what’s going on when you have two - three thoughts per line. I dig your style and i respect you as a writer, but I’d like to see something with a more linear plot line, something we can follow as voters. Liked some of the imagery here and the attempt to tackle the topic. Cog - All been said and done my friend I like your rhyme schemes but you don’t really say ANYTHING, even when the topic caters to you as an individual you find a way to go off on a tangent and fuck it up. I pitted you two against each other for the similar backstories, once esteemed writers who have changed their style drastically and can’t really find a foothold to climb their way back into the top ranks. I think Candy still has his talent lying under his lackadaisical writing, Sinacog I’m not too sure of V/ Candy was just more intrigued by his piece and thought it was overall better