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Old 12-16-2021, 11:55 PM   #20
Spoken
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Cephalopods nautilus... The fact you found time to ... Nevermind. Eh.. you still G in my book MW.. The rhymescheme i felt a tad bit dry at the end buuuuuut it didnt take away from the actual conception and content.

You kept it simple yet details with the metaohors YDK more of a storyline touch saw your verse as the binder connecting V1 through V3 and it was placed well.


The last verse kept its composure as a topper The internal metaphor itself was decent.
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Now i dont feed with just that yall know me YDK and Wrecka from before i keep it real sooo... This as a collective for cyphering.. i mean ok. Cool nice vibe cool dialect. Nothing damaging. Nothing even remotely binding all together as a direction of content really. The piece was far to abstract and i feel alot of forced rhymes and achemes implemented to sort of woo the crowd with words and hymns really. The aikido like was even disheartening because if you fact checked the referance line you would learn it wasnt even a form of respective martial arts used for the samurai because they were metal warriors so close quarter combat and non-weapon encounters in combat was unlikely because of the way of samurai. Just a little history into it on my behalf. But overall the piece as a collective i just dont see the topic nor direction just perspectives as if you wrre the samurais in the pics.... But that then still leaves it an empty story.
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