WEEK FIVE: YDK 0-1 VS FRAZE 0-0 FRAZE WINS

Master Rock · 12-31-2020, 01:53 AM

Fraze from beginning to end you put me there (in the seat where us writers reside). And honestly,

"The floor a sea of crumpled pages, left bereft of hope, the levy broke,

This dam is just the damnedest, may the damned adjust to damages,
Forgive my inconsideration, don’t know where my manners is,"

^^My goodness, this was so slick!

Also, throughout you kept the pace with the wordplay and slapbacks all while sticking to the point. I honestly have nothing negative to say about this verse..just sick!

YDK, this seemed like an introspection. I got a sense that you are being literal throughout and I was thrown off by the death wish spin (got me hoping everything's ok but as time went on you explain the deteriorating nature of your youth). Beyond that statement and the other related details to that, what really stood out to me was,

"I've faced a mountain of adversity it hurts to see the clouds
The peak is just a goal but I get high to forget the lows"

This was truly a beautifully painted picture of thought (madd ill)^^.

After your spheel you brought the topic to conclusion defining your reasoning for the process and also answering the question that the reader may ask and that is: are you alright?

"I'll just reply that I'm fine.

I'm free"

Lovely ending^^.

But when it is all said and done, I am giving it to Fraze based on the formulation and the tenacity to clasp the topic and swallow it whole.

Pharaohs Army · 12-31-2020, 07:34 PM

fraze
Pretty good verse. I like the multis and it was short and sweet. Got your point across. Nothing spectacular but it's good.
It helped that your closing stanza was the strongest.

YDK
Rhyme about yourself and your life. Good multis, strong rhyming. I like this part
Yeah just take me out, I'm savin face by facin doubt
I've faced a mountain of adversity it hurts to see the clouds
Very thought out and personal.
Couple marijuana references which is cool because I like to smoke as well.
Good verse; just don't think it's enough

I just think 1 verse resonated with me more than the other and that was V Fraze in a close one.

12-31-2020, 01:53 AM	#1
Master Rock Steadily Lurking Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Beyond your reach Posts: 1,391 Battle Record: 7-7 Champed - Netcees Writers League Rep Power: 5599641	Fraze from beginning to end you put me there (in the seat where us writers reside). And honestly, "The floor a sea of crumpled pages, left bereft of hope, the levy broke, This dam is just the damnedest, may the damned adjust to damages, Forgive my inconsideration, don’t know where my manners is," ^^My goodness, this was so slick! Also, throughout you kept the pace with the wordplay and slapbacks all while sticking to the point. I honestly have nothing negative to say about this verse..just sick! YDK, this seemed like an introspection. I got a sense that you are being literal throughout and I was thrown off by the death wish spin (got me hoping everything's ok but as time went on you explain the deteriorating nature of your youth). Beyond that statement and the other related details to that, what really stood out to me was, "I've faced a mountain of adversity it hurts to see the clouds The peak is just a goal but I get high to forget the lows" This was truly a beautifully painted picture of thought (madd ill)^^. After your spheel you brought the topic to conclusion defining your reasoning for the process and also answering the question that the reader may ask and that is: are you alright? "I'll just reply that I'm fine. I'm free" Lovely ending^^. But when it is all said and done, I am giving it to Fraze based on the formulation and the tenacity to clasp the topic and swallow it whole. __________________ https://www.instagram.com/master_rock1/ https://www.youtube.com/graphicalmindz

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12-31-2020, 07:34 PM	#2
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	fraze Pretty good verse. I like the multis and it was short and sweet. Got your point across. Nothing spectacular but it's good. It helped that your closing stanza was the strongest. YDK Rhyme about yourself and your life. Good multis, strong rhyming. I like this part Yeah just take me out, I'm savin face by facin doubt I've faced a mountain of adversity it hurts to see the clouds Very thought out and personal. Couple marijuana references which is cool because I like to smoke as well. Good verse; just don't think it's enough I just think 1 verse resonated with me more than the other and that was V Fraze in a close one.