WEEK FIVE CONTENDERS: MASTER ROCK 2-2 VS EVICTION 2-2 ROCK WINS

Master Rock · 12-28-2020, 10:23 PM

The reprehensible modern-day intolerable acts
ravaging our peace of mind transmitting propaganda media regurgitating agendalistical facts
we the people are under the grid trapped by terrorizing attacks
splitting through the fabric of unitedness of mankind as they continue to divide
I had enough, so...I draw the line
They're a deluded kind, fraternized with the conception of invincibility's bind
Is this real to me?... The world's frequency transmits a war of instability which, divides the security amongst our civility
It's are you with us or our enemy? I speak my truth which they deem detestably
I just want to be the reason we conversate respectfully
now for the preamble, clean out the barrel before they pack the ammo
our lives the casino placing bets to gamble
tossing seeds to feed us like birds
they bring the in bulls to trample upon our herd
power to the people we speak.. while we starving to just to get a morsel to eat
They strive to purge everysingle bit of our piece
we destroy ourselves in the process of pursuing relief
deep down in our psyche we tossing and turning so much that it's disturbing our sleep and such
wake up!!! So many out there with their eyes wide shut
but who's woke?
if you rely on chitter-chatter of quotes, these words without action
will equal no hope
let's unite,now put that in your scope against the big wigs
What ARE WE GOING TO DO? FIGHT, FIGHT,
FIGHT to see what gives
You can't believe the trap of they plight
they grasp to pull us down every time we attempt to reach a new height
propaganda's contribution is to disrupt the revolution
offering their hidden agenda as a resolution
dictating our nation is the corporation
Their decisions affect what we exactly facing
ashes to our foundational vision
inconsistencies on what they speak selling dreams to the weak
poor and starved, oppressed the institution is pimping the value of the currency they skimping the rest
of the people, by the people, and for the people, they make it legal for rapacity's evil
barricades on the road drawing bridges to the fold
parks it place to walk the board being sold
into slavery, monopoly's the master
they strutting in exclusive luxury attire blazing a stoge
while we sporting discarded rags from their robes
misleading our souls through their lies
corruption glares within their eyes
our cries land on deaf ears
we hold hands are they burn our peers
use us for fuel as we
Shout and scream fantasize upon a dream
the petition extreme signature what they find
for a difference, they hope
the truth is within a question soaked
the inaccurately of it all, united we stand till we fall
beside their ill-advised plans, bureaucrats take over this land
we the people get stuck in corruption's quicksand
we left holding hands while the fire charring every bit of our plan

Universe · 12-30-2020, 09:44 AM

Eviction:

This was cool. Like last weeks verse you had great multi's and flow... really enjoyed the technical aspects here. Story was kind of... lacking. No real characters or plot but more of an overview about... events leading to a New Years party? I guess. Kind of confused about the point of it, but you had an effortless precision here that was fairly hypnotic. Some lines really surprised me...

"We all have vices, none of us have a common goal,
Of quitting when problems toll, we all fall like dominoes.
That’s why my motto is simple, like a knock-knock joke.
I want the smoke and never worry about some moral code"

- Really liked this part.

You kind of faded to some rant-type Open Mic shit in the middle there that seemed out of place, but was still well done. Ended with the New Years angle which is relevant and works well enough. I think if you focused on more of an actual story and maintain your technical abilities that you've shown as of late, you would have a good mixture for success. You've got to have all the elements of a topical nailed down to consistently win... I think you're getting there. Keep it up. I'm enjoying these latest pieces from you.

Master Rock:

You are so hit and miss man lol, it's crazy. Sometimes your bars are spot on and impressive, other times they are a rambling mess, either technically or visually, or both. You bounce back and forth between these two with unfortunate ease, and it's a little chaotic at times, but that's your vibe. You are organized chaos and there's a beauty there that I can't quite put my finger on... And in the end, the good outweighs the bad for me.

That said, as I'm reading I'm noticing that even the good bars have grammatical mistakes in them - I'm always spotting wording issues and sometimes, there are words that are just not there at all, or preceeded by a word that makes no sense. For eg:

"they bring the in bulls to trample our herd
power to the people we speak.. while we starving to just to get a morsel eat"

- The wording mistakes in both lines break up the flow and make it tough to read. As a reader we shouldn't have to assume anything or fill in the blanks; We should just be digesting what you are trying to say, and nothing else.

I liked the middle section though. You sort of had a "call to arms" angle and "rallied the troops", preaching to us. I really liked the feel of it...

"deep down in our psyche we tossing and turning so much that it's disturbing our sleep and such
wake up!!! So many out there with their eyes wide shut
but who's woke?
if you rely on chitter-chatter quotes these words without action
will equal no hope"

- This was just a crazy good section that I wished continued on for way longer.

Ending bit was well done as well - You have something important to say in this piece and when you say it coherently, it's a thing to behold. Unfortunately, so many good lines are ruined by poor grammar and missing words, or extra words, as mentioned before. I think if you edit more and clean this all up you will be a force in this league for sure. You kind of already are though, since you're in contenders lol. But you have tons of room to grow and get better... which is scary cuz you're already quite good when you want to be.

This was a tough battle to choose a winner. Eviction wins technically and with flow, but Master Rock had a better story and had an actual message behind his words. I also think he got better as he went on, while Eviction started strong but ended sort of iffy.

I went back and forth on this one but, considering Eviction SIGNED OUT of a contenders match, I'm siding with Master Rock here for overall tone and substance... and because he clearly wants it more. That means something.

Sooo close though.

Vote - Master Rock

12-28-2020, 10:23 PM	#1
Master Rock Steadily Lurking Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Beyond your reach Posts: 1,391 Battle Record: 7-7 Champed - Netcees Writers League Rep Power: 5599641	The reprehensible modern-day intolerable acts ravaging our peace of mind transmitting propaganda media regurgitating agendalistical facts we the people are under the grid trapped by terrorizing attacks splitting through the fabric of unitedness of mankind as they continue to divide I had enough, so...I draw the line They're a deluded kind, fraternized with the conception of invincibility's bind Is this real to me?... The world's frequency transmits a war of instability which, divides the security amongst our civility It's are you with us or our enemy? I speak my truth which they deem detestably I just want to be the reason we conversate respectfully now for the preamble, clean out the barrel before they pack the ammo our lives the casino placing bets to gamble tossing seeds to feed us like birds they bring the in bulls to trample upon our herd power to the people we speak.. while we starving to just to get a morsel to eat They strive to purge everysingle bit of our piece we destroy ourselves in the process of pursuing relief deep down in our psyche we tossing and turning so much that it's disturbing our sleep and such wake up!!! So many out there with their eyes wide shut but who's woke? if you rely on chitter-chatter of quotes, these words without action will equal no hope let's unite,now put that in your scope against the big wigs What ARE WE GOING TO DO? FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT to see what gives You can't believe the trap of they plight they grasp to pull us down every time we attempt to reach a new height propaganda's contribution is to disrupt the revolution offering their hidden agenda as a resolution dictating our nation is the corporation Their decisions affect what we exactly facing ashes to our foundational vision inconsistencies on what they speak selling dreams to the weak poor and starved, oppressed the institution is pimping the value of the currency they skimping the rest of the people, by the people, and for the people, they make it legal for rapacity's evil barricades on the road drawing bridges to the fold parks it place to walk the board being sold into slavery, monopoly's the master they strutting in exclusive luxury attire blazing a stoge while we sporting discarded rags from their robes misleading our souls through their lies corruption glares within their eyes our cries land on deaf ears we hold hands are they burn our peers use us for fuel as we Shout and scream fantasize upon a dream the petition extreme signature what they find for a difference, they hope the truth is within a question soaked the inaccurately of it all, united we stand till we fall beside their ill-advised plans, bureaucrats take over this land we the people get stuck in corruption's quicksand we left holding hands while the fire charring every bit of our plan __________________ https://www.instagram.com/master_rock1/ https://www.youtube.com/graphicalmindz Last edited by Master Rock; 12-29-2020 at 04:09 PM.

12-30-2020, 09:44 AM	#2
Universe Everything's Connected Join Date: Nov 2017 Location: Niagara Falls, Canada Posts: 1,001 Battle Record: 19-8 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League(2x) - GWL Picture challenge(2x) - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 10178707	Eviction: This was cool. Like last weeks verse you had great multi's and flow... really enjoyed the technical aspects here. Story was kind of... lacking. No real characters or plot but more of an overview about... events leading to a New Years party? I guess. Kind of confused about the point of it, but you had an effortless precision here that was fairly hypnotic. Some lines really surprised me... "We all have vices, none of us have a common goal, Of quitting when problems toll, we all fall like dominoes. That’s why my motto is simple, like a knock-knock joke. I want the smoke and never worry about some moral code" - Really liked this part. You kind of faded to some rant-type Open Mic shit in the middle there that seemed out of place, but was still well done. Ended with the New Years angle which is relevant and works well enough. I think if you focused on more of an actual story and maintain your technical abilities that you've shown as of late, you would have a good mixture for success. You've got to have all the elements of a topical nailed down to consistently win... I think you're getting there. Keep it up. I'm enjoying these latest pieces from you. Master Rock: You are so hit and miss man lol, it's crazy. Sometimes your bars are spot on and impressive, other times they are a rambling mess, either technically or visually, or both. You bounce back and forth between these two with unfortunate ease, and it's a little chaotic at times, but that's your vibe. You are organized chaos and there's a beauty there that I can't quite put my finger on... And in the end, the good outweighs the bad for me. That said, as I'm reading I'm noticing that even the good bars have grammatical mistakes in them - I'm always spotting wording issues and sometimes, there are words that are just not there at all, or preceeded by a word that makes no sense. For eg: "they bring the in bulls to trample our herd power to the people we speak.. while we starving to just to get a morsel eat" - The wording mistakes in both lines break up the flow and make it tough to read. As a reader we shouldn't have to assume anything or fill in the blanks; We should just be digesting what you are trying to say, and nothing else. I liked the middle section though. You sort of had a "call to arms" angle and "rallied the troops", preaching to us. I really liked the feel of it... "deep down in our psyche we tossing and turning so much that it's disturbing our sleep and such wake up!!! So many out there with their eyes wide shut but who's woke? if you rely on chitter-chatter quotes these words without action will equal no hope" - This was just a crazy good section that I wished continued on for way longer. Ending bit was well done as well - You have something important to say in this piece and when you say it coherently, it's a thing to behold. Unfortunately, so many good lines are ruined by poor grammar and missing words, or extra words, as mentioned before. I think if you edit more and clean this all up you will be a force in this league for sure. You kind of already are though, since you're in contenders lol. But you have tons of room to grow and get better... which is scary cuz you're already quite good when you want to be. This was a tough battle to choose a winner. Eviction wins technically and with flow, but Master Rock had a better story and had an actual message behind his words. I also think he got better as he went on, while Eviction started strong but ended sort of iffy. I went back and forth on this one but, considering Eviction SIGNED OUT of a contenders match, I'm siding with Master Rock here for overall tone and substance... and because he clearly wants it more. That means something. Sooo close though. Vote - Master Rock __________________ ..Passed the Present and Future..

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